


Crumbling Walls

by shotguncas



Series: Crumbling Walls [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 13, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel Leaves, Castiel Owns a House, Coda, Dean Talks About Feelings, Domestic Bliss, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone has a job, F/M, Family, Feelings Realization, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, Fluff, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Human Castiel, Kinda canon compliant, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Moving On, Parent Jody Mills, People Actually Dialogue, Sam Ships It, Switching, There's hunting tho, jack is not evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-01-01 01:12:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 98,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12145359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shotguncas/pseuds/shotguncas
Summary: Everyone has intangible walls inside their minds. Walls that restrict actions, that divide subjects, that seal memories, that hide thoughts, that imprison desires, that block words, that confine feelings…Dean and Castiel are no exception. In fact, they're probably the biggest examples of how people live by holding back and ignoring the truth and the desires inside their heads.But eventually everything crumbles.Eventually, the walls crack.[Alternative Season 13]





	1. Prologue

Walls.

In essence, walls are made to divide, enclose, restrict or block. They can also be used as a way to confine, hide, seal, imprison or even protect something…

Solid walls are difficult to break without auxiliary tools. Intangible walls are even more arduous to destroy, especially when the base is so deeply buried it’s hard to know where to start.

Everyone has intangible walls inside their minds. Walls that restrict actions, that divide subjects, that seal memories, that hide thoughts, that imprison desires, that block words, _that confine feelings_ …

Some people decidedly never break their walls. They manage to live a considerably comfortable life without bothering themselves to go deeper, to scratch that little itch inside their minds that keeps whispering: “But is this really my happiness? Is this all I can get in my life?”.

Others try hard to never listen to the whispers, to pretend they don’t care and life is as good as it gets for them. But one day they wake up and suddenly feel like another hour of that shameless lie will blow up their souls.

And that’s when the walls start to crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm mishdestiel on twitter and tumblr and I truly hope y'all enjoy this fic like I enjoyed writing it. My first language IS NOT English so I'd love it if you guys pointed any grammar errors you find.
> 
> Just so there are no doubts: this is a canon verse fic and the story starts on the end of s12.  
> >Btw I changed the end, so some people are alive and a couple of things are a little different.<
> 
> Kudos and comments will always be appreciated! Thank you for being interested! Now enjoy a little canon verse deancas :)


	2. Prologue II

Things ended up fine.

Dean, Sam and Castiel had been able to permanently lock Lucifer in the alternate universe. The British Men of Letters had been decimated. The celestial faction had given no signs for months. Mary and Jack were living with Jody in South Dakota. Rowena had left for her homeland. And even demons were off the radar after Crowley successfully regained power in hell.

The only casualty back in May had been Kelly, but the wounds and bruises had hit them all.

Castiel fought Lucifer inside the rift and ended up with countless cuts all over his body, almost as if he’d been tortured and nearly turned into a sieve, leaking shining grace.

When Cas managed to crawl out of the opening he still couldn’t stand, but he managed to keep his part of the plan going and used his grace to hold Lucifer on the other side of the rift. Sam and Dean worked behind the house, listening to Kelly’s screams of pain while they searched for a way to close the gap permanently.

Rowena stayed by Castiel’s side casting all the useful spells she could remember and asking him repeatedly if he didn’t want to go inside and rest. Crowley stayed with them after emerging from the rift, getting Sam and Dean whatever they needed for the spell.

With an incantation in Latin said by Castiel and a blast, the rift was closed for good. They were all thrown back and instantly passed out with the force of the invisible explosion.

Mary came out of the house screaming and shook her boys awake. As Sam opened his eyes, she said Jack was born so he got up and staggered into the house with his mother.

When Dean’s eyes finally popped open, it took him only a couple of seconds to remember where he was and what had happened. He got up fast, ignoring the severe headache and ran towards Castiel’s body. The angel was lying there, motionless, his eyes closed and his skin full of wounds. His clothes were completely ripped, revealing more and more cuts every time Dean looked, all of them open and bleeding, grace shining among his flesh.

Hearing a noise, Dean lifted his eyes from Cas to see Crowley helping Rowena to stand and get inside the house. He looked back down to the closed swollen eyelids.

“Cas.” Dean whispered, his fingertips touching the small spaces of uncut skin on his face. “Cas, man. Don’t die on me.”

No response.

“C’mon. I need you alive.” Dean murmured, feeling his eyes heavy and full, on the verge of tears.

His forehead unconsciously leaned against Cas’ shoulder and teardrops slipped from his control. His chest was tight, a huge knot in his throat.

“No.” He continued, whispering. “No. Please, Cas, I…”

Dean lifted his head and stared at Cas’ hurt face. Many cuts were bleeding more intensely now.

The angel’s eyelids contracted slightly, almost imperceptibly.

“Cas!” Dean’s voice perked up a little, completely drown in hope.

Dean got up and despite his own pain, took Castiel in his arms to carry him inside. He laid Cas on the first bed he found and ran to the kitchen to find a cloth or towel to clean the wounds.

Sitting by Cas’ side with some wet towels and water in case he woke up, Dean touched Cas' forehead and felt how warm it was. Castiel’s skin was never warm, or cold… Something was wrong.

Dean got up and carefully took Cas’ clothes off, leaving him only in his white boxer shorts. “God, Cas.” Dean murmured, now seeing how bad the cuts really were. “How the hell did he do that to you?”

Attentively, he cleaned wound by wound and noticed a big, deep incision above the tattoo on Cas’ left lumbar region. The towels quickly soaked due to the amount of blood. The injuries weren't leaking grace anymore.

“Shit you shouldn’t be bleeding like this.” With his eyes closed, Dean took a deep breath, internally waiting for Castiel to open his eyes and answer him. “What do I do, man? Should I take you to a hospital or something? Fuck.”

“Dean.” Rowena’s voice came quietly from the door.

“Not now.” Dean answered with his voice full of anger.

“I could help, dear.” She continued, entering the bedroom and approaching the bed.

Dean huffed in exasperation and considered dismissing her, but he had no idea what was wrong with Cas and he couldn’t lose him… not again.

“How?” His voice came in a whisper as he stood up.

Rowena sat beside Cas’ body and touched his forehead. “He’s in agonizing pain.” She said and looked at Dean with sad eyes. “These cuts were not made by any ordinary blade. I can ease his pain, he might even wake up.”

“Do it.” Dean said before he could stop himself.

Rowena nodded and got up. “Fergus.” She said and Crowley came to the door. After a couple quiet words, the demon disappeared and showed up minutes later, giving his mother a box full of ingredients.

With sympathetic a nod towards Dean, Crowley left the room.

“Wait outside, Dean.” Rowena said, taking some herbs and liquids from the box and placing everything on the nightstand. “He might convulse before the spell works.”

“I won’t leave him.” Dean shook his head vehemently and sat by Castiel’s side again. “Just do what you gotta do. And no tricks.”

“I care about him, you know.” She said widening her eyes a little while mixing some ingredients with her hands inside a bowl. “He’s too good and brave to die poorly like this.”

Dean swallowed thick, reaching one of Cas’ hands and holding it tight.

“Don’t hold him back.” Rowena advised. “Let his body move with the magic.”

Before Dean could question, foreign words were coming from Rowena’s mouth. Her eyes closed for a second and then she was spreading a purple powder above Cas’ body. She kept repeating the words as Castiel screamed and writhed when the particles touched his skin and created a thin translucent layer above it. Dean got up in a jolt and fought every urge to hold him down. All he wanted was to make it stop, to make Cas feel better somehow.

Cas’ screams became groans and cries. Tears slipping from his eyes with every movement, his hand squeezing Dean’s and making their fingers white. And then it all suddenly stopped. The purple layer absorbed itself into Cas’ broken skin. His head fell to the side and his body laid still, worn out.

“He should wake up soon.” Rowena said quietly, adjusting her long red dress. “The pain dissipated into the layer and you have 24 hours until it fades.”

“Thank you.” Dean whispered, lifting his eyes quickly and trying to smile at her with the corner of his lips.

“Just don’t lose him again, dear.” She tapped his shoulder and walked to the door. “Allow yourself to feel a little… for a human your heart is too cold.”

Her heels tapped the wooden floor towards the living room, closing the door on the way out.

Dean’s eyes scanned Cas’ body again. The wounds were still there, open and damp, but his face seemed a little less frowned.

He laid on the bed and closed his eyes, still holding Cas’ hand. “I’m so sorry for this whole shit, Cas.” Dean whispered. “I don’t even know when it all went to shit but from now on we all gotta be together. We can’t afford losing anything else…”

Dean took a deep breath.

“Fuck, I just can’t lose you, man.” He continued whispering.

Silence took over the room while Dean kept caressing Cas’ hand and allowing the weight of the day to surface. His breathing became heavy and quiet as he dozed off, listening to Cas’ breaths.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked the blade and spells I created :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Dean.” Someone called and the hunter woke up startled, sitting up and looking around, but no one else was in the room. “Dean.” The whisper came again and Dean finally looked to his side.

Castiel’s eyelids were blinking slowly and revealing pieces of tired blue, his hand still squeezing Dean’s.

“Cas!” Dean rearranged himself on the bed, sitting over his own legs and letting go of Cas’ hand to hold his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Castiel asked, his voice weak and hoarse.

“You’re really hurt Cas...” Dean told him, sitting properly by his side and letting go of his shoulder. “Wouldn’t wake up, I thought you were…” He cleared his throat, feeling the emotions boiling and ready to spill. “What did he do to you?” Dean whispered after a pause.

Cas tried to lift his upper body but ended up opening his mouth in a silent scream of pain and sighing. Dean reached for the glass of water and helped him drink a few sips slowly before laying Cas’ head back on the pillow.

“He had a different blade… I only saw it once, when I was really young.” Castiel explained, closing his eyes. “Insurgent angels started provoking human kind some years after their creation. So my father forged a blade that if in contact with an angel’s being, it rips his layers and starts expelling the grace out of him. Painfully.”

“Lucifer stabbed you with it?” Dean’s eyes widened.

“I couldn’t defend myself and he used the blade, yes.” Castiel said, opening his eyes and scanning his own chest. He placed his fingertips above the biggest cut, silently signaling that it was the place where the blade was first inserted. “I don’t know how he got it from heaven.”

Dean nodded and watched as Cas touched the other wounds and winced. “You’re becoming human, then?” Dean asked, not able to control himself anymore.

“I suppose.” Cas looked into Dean’s eyes, a silent unknown plead washing the blue orbs. “Uhm, am I under some sort of spell? I believe I should be feeling excruciating pain right now.”

“Yeah.” Dean looked at the nightstand and nodded. “Rowena did a little magic to ease your pain and help you wake up so we could know what was wrong.”

“Well thank you.” Castiel said and tried to smile. “I appreciate it.”

They looked at each other for a while, emotions going crazy.

“What can I do, Cas?” Dean said after a couple seconds. “What can I do to stop this?” He reached and touched one wound carefully.

“There’s nothing you can do, Dean.” Cas answered, putting his hand over Dean’s. “This was made to be a punishment and the pain will stop only when my grace is completely out of my body and gone into heaven. I’m supposed to feel it all.”

“No, Cas! You’re not!” Dean raised his voice and got up. “You’re supposed to get Jack and live happily ever after or whatever. You’re not supposed to die like this.”

“I’m not dying, Dean.” Castiel said calmly. “I’m becoming human… you said it yourself moments ago.”

Dean huffed a laugh and sat again, feeling defeated.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” Castiel said and tried to sit again, groaning loudly as his back touched the headboard.

“You know that’s a stupid request.” Dean kept his eyes on the window.

“How’s Jack?” Cas changed the subject.

“I don’t know.” Dean shrugged. “I’ve been here since I brought you inside, but I’ll go check.” He stood and walked to the door.

“Dean.” Castiel called and Dean looked back at him. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

Nodding, Dean’s lips formed a smile and he left the room. He walked slowly towards the voices, catching his breath and adjusting his mind to the whole situation around him.

“Isn’t he playing us?” Dean heard Mary’s voice.

“I don’t think so.” Sam replied, sounding confused. “I mean… he was just born.”

Dean saw them by Jack’s bedroom door. “Is the kid alright?” He asked.

“You can say that.” Mary mocked and shrugged.

“I think “kid” is a huge understatement.” Sam’s eyes were wide.

“What?” Dean started to worry. “What’s going on? Just spit it out.”

“He’s a teenager.” Mary said and sighed. “Jack was born a teenager.”

Dean’s eyes mimicked Sam’s. “What?” He huffed a laugh and looked at Sam. “Cut the crap, dude. Lemme see him.” Dean started to walk to the door but Sam held him back.

“Dude. We’re serious.” Sam stared at his brother. “The kid is a smirking grown ass man.”

“How?” Dean asked in disbelief.

“There was a blast.” Mary explained. “Kelly died and when I opened my eyes there was no one in the room, so I went to get you guys. Sam came back with me and we found Jack hiding in the dark in the other bedroom.”

“Smirking with glowing yellow eyes.” Sam completed. “We dressed him in some of our clothes that were inside the car and have been trying to talk him since.”

“The dude was naked?” Dean asked and sighed.

“He was just born, Dean.” Mary said with a bitchface.

“Alright so why you think he’s playing you or whatever?”

“He doesn’t speak.” Sam explained, running his hand over his face and hair. “But he understands us perfectly. We told him to sit and he did, we asked if he knew who he was and he nodded so... Shit I have no idea. It’s just _weird_.”

Dean nodded. “Can I see him? Cas wants to know how he is.”

“How is he anyway?” Sam asked, worry covering his face in a second. “He couldn’t even stand when he walked out of the rift.”

“Not good, Sam.” Dean shook his head, signaling he didn’t really want to talk about that. “We gotta deal with this shit fast ‘cause Cas is becoming human downstairs as we speak. And the spell to help with the pain fades in less than a day.”

Sam held back a breath. “Shit, man. I’m sorry.” He said, squeezing Dean’s shoulder.

“We’ll help him, Dean.” Mary assured him, caressing his arm.

“Let’s just…” Dean nodded towards the door and after Sam and Mary nodded back, he opened the door.

Jack was sitting on the bed, looking directly at the door.

Dean entered and walked closer to him. “Jack.” He said looking into the blue eyes, _Almost as blue as Cas’._ , he thought. “I’m Dean. Sam’s brother and Mary’s son.”

The kid looked out the window.

“Do you know who we are?” Dean continued, and Jack nodded without looking at them. “Good. So you know we’re friends. And do you know who Cas is? Castiel?”

Jack immediately looked at him and his eyes glowed in yellow.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Dean looked at Sam and Mary and raised his eyebrows.

“Castiel.” Jack whispered and the three of them looked at him immediately.

“Yes.” Sam said. “Castiel. Do you want to see him?”

Jack nodded and Dean and Sam exchanged a look.

“We’ll take you to see him.” Mary said and got closer. “C’mon.” She extended her hand and Jack held it. She led the way while Sam and Dean walked behind them.

“Mom called Jody. She just got here from the airport.” Sam whispered.

Dean nodded. “We gotta deal with Crowley and Rowena, too. They’re in the living room.”

“What are you thinking?” Sam questioned.

“Not killing them.” Dean sighed and shrugged. “Rowena probably saved Cas and Crowley did a lot for us, too. Can you talk to them about what they’ll do from now on? Make them stay away, maybe?”

Nodding, Sam patted Dean’s back and walked to the living room as Mary guided Jack to where Cas was and left him there. “Stay with them.” She said as she walked to Sam.

Dean entered the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe to see Jack sitting by the end of the bed. Castiel lying on his back once again.

Cas looked at Dean and smiled before turning to Jack. “Do you remember me?” He asked.

“Yes.” The kid said.

“And you remember Kelly, your mother?” Castiel continued.

Jack nodded, inspecting the wounds all over Cas’ body.

“That’s good.” Castiel smiled. “She loved you very much.”

“I felt her love.” Jack said and then shifted to sit closer to Cas. “What is happening to you? I can feel energy.”

Castiel swallowed thick. “Well, I used to be an angel.” He said slowly. “But I was hurt with a blade and now my grace is emanating from me. I am becoming human.”

Dean’s heart skipped a beat. Cas was obviously in pain because of the whole situation but was trying to keep holding on to deal with Jack.

“I don’t want you to be hurt. Who hurt you?” Jack said and looked at Dean, his eyes yellow again. “Was it him?” He asked with anger in his voice.

Dean was about to defend himself when Cas leaned his body forward and touched Jack’s arm.

“No, Jack.” He said, calmly. “He’s a loved one. Just as everyone else inside this house.”

Jack’s eyes went back to blue and he turned to Cas.

“The creature that hurt me was dealt with.” Castiel continued. “You don’t have to worry.”

“I can help you.” The kid said after a couple seconds. “I think I can heal you.”

“You can make him an angel again?” Dean asked immediately, getting closer to them.

“I don’t know.” Jack answered and looked at Dean. “Kelly used to whisper and say I have great powers and I should use them wisely and for good, but I don’t know which those powers are and how to use them.”

“Maybe if you concentrate on what you want to do they’ll just do it, you know?” Dean suggested and shrugged.

“Jack, you don’t have to…” Castiel started but Jack nodded and reached to touch Cas’ bare chest, his eyes glowing and a yellow foggy light spreading around Castiel’s body.

When it faded Cas’ skin was soft and clear just as it used to be, the only wound left being the deep one above the tattoo.

Jack smiled fondly. “I fixed you.”

Castiel was wide-eyed and frowning, looking down at his own body.

“So he’s an angel again?” Dean got even closer to them, aching to touch Cas.

Jack and Dean looked at Cas expectantly as he sat down blinking and frowning even deeper.

“Thank you for healing me from the effects of the blade, Jack. I appreciate it very much. ” Cas said and smiled. “I believe I’m not completely an angel, though.”

“What?” Dean asked, panicking internally. “What do you mean?”

“I have almost nothing left of my grace.” Castiel looked around and fixed his stare on the lamp above the nightstand for some seconds. The light flickered a couple of times but stayed on. “Apparently when you deactivated the effect of the blade, the small amount that hadn’t left my body stayed in.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Jack asked, seemingly concerned.

“Not at all.” Cas smiled and looked at Jack. “I don’t mind.”

“So you’re kind of human, now?” Dean asked, walking to the window.

“Almost entirely.” Castiel said. “I have enough grace to go to heaven and get replenished but I don’t think that would be a wise move right now.”

“Probably not.” Dean agreed and tried to smile. “We should all just go home and talk there. Heal up nice and then move on.”

Castiel nodded while he swallowed thick. His eyes away from Dean.

“Will I go with you?” Jack said, reminding Dean he was still there.

“We’ll give you a home.” Castiel smiled at him. He got up but immediately sat back, wincing. The wound starting to bleed again.

“You’ll need stitches on that one.” Dean rushed closer and helped him lay back. “I have stuff in the car. Just stay here and try not to move.”

Dean ran outside.

“I made a promise to your mother.” Castiel said quietly, caressing Jack's arm. “I told her I would make sure you lived a good life with good people.”

Jack nodded.

“I don’t know how, yet, but I’ll make a plan.”

“I believe you, Castiel.” Jack said and smiled at him.

“Okay.” Dean said, walking back inside while still catching his breath. “Jack, please stay outside with Sam while I patch him up and then we’ll all go home.”

Jack looked at Cas and didn’t move until Cas nodded at him.

The kid left and Dean kneeled by the bed, putting everything around him.

“Dean.” Cas whispered as Dean cleaned the wound. “I don’t think Jack should be with me or with you and Sam.”

“Why?” Dean asked and saw as Cas grimaced in pain. “Sorry.”

“Well, we should give him a different life.” Castiel explained, closing his eyes. “Make him comfortable around humans so he won’t turn against them like his father did.”

Dean hummed in agreement and reached the needle. “It’ll hurt. Stay still.” He pierced the needle into the skin and Cas groaned.

“I know I promised to take care of him, and I will…” Cas said after sighing. “I just don’t think I’ll be the best caregiver for him. I know nothing about being human and I have no resources to maintain him.”

“Cas, Sam and I could help you with that.” Dean kept stitching the skin carefully.

“No, Dean. That won’t happen, okay?” Cas shifted in annoyance and immediately groaned. Dean held him down before continuing with the needle. “I attract bad things all the time and everything I do ends up turning into the worst possible alternative.” Castiel said quietly. “Jack deserves a good and happy life even if he’s Lucifer’s son… And I’m not the one able to give him that right now.”

“Fuck, Cas, don’t say stuff like that, man. You know it’s not…”

“It is true.” Cas interrupted him. “Just please help me find Jack a good place… a good home.”

Dean stared at him for some seconds and nodded. “Maybe Jody can help for a while.” He shrugged and cut the line, tying a knot on its end. After passing a clean towel around the wound, Dean placed a bandage over it and pinned it with tape.

He had a feeling that Cas wanted to say something else. But neither of them said anything so Dean caressed Cas’ skin slightly and nodded to himself before getting up and gathering everything they owned from the bedroom to put it inside the box of ingredients Crowley had brought.

“I’ll go deal with the family reunion in the living room.” Dean said with a fake smile, not looking at Cas. “Your clothes are over that chair.”

Cas wanted to thank him but Dean left the bedroom before his words were pronounced.

Dean walked to the end of the hallway and took a deep breath for what seemed like the first time that day. Shadows were taking over that corner of the house and he noticed he had no idea what time it was. He passed both hands over his face and smelled the blood they still carried. There was _a lot_ going on. He never thought this situation would end up with Cas human again and Jack being a teenager. He wanted to solve all of that but he had no idea where to start.

Lifting his eyes, Dean saw Cas coming out of the bedroom limping to his left side, probably still in pain. Cas smiled as he saw Jody in the kitchen, sitting with Mary and Jack. He talked to Mary and apparently introduced himself to Jody and asked to have a minute with her, so they walked to the stairs to have more privacy.

Sam was in the living room with an impressive bitch face towards Crowley and Rowena.

“Here we go.” Dean said to himself got closer to Sam after another deep breath. “Family feud again?” He asked.

“These two jerks won’t decide what they want because they love each other so much it blinds them.” Sam said and snorted.

Dean looked at them and waited for explanations.

“Mother won’t accompany me to hell.” Crowley said and rolled his eyes, annoyed. “She wants to go back to Scotland.”

“Why don’t you come with me, then?” Rowena retorted, crossing her arms against her chest. “Are you afraid of seeing the past? Or being your true despicable self?”

“No.” Crowley answered, raising his voice. “I’m afraid _you_ ’ll start a riot and end up setting everything on fire!”

“You know damn well how I disdain fire, Fergus!” She yelled back.

“Alright, alright!” Sam interrupted them. “Stop this.”

“We only need to know if you’ll keep coming back and bugging us because of Jack.” Dean said and pointed behind him towards the kitchen.

“Don’t count on that, dear.” Rowena laughed sarcastically. “I want Lucifer and his offspring to rot away from me.”

“I have to agree with mother on this one, boys.” Crowley snorted. “If that kid is anything like its father, it will hate me and probably come after me to peel the skin off my vessel.”

Dean looked at Sam, asking with his eyes if they should believe. Sam shrugged with his eyebrows and they both looked back at Crowley and Rowena.

“Fine.” Dean said.

“Thank you both for helping us with Lucifer.” Sam continued. “Send us a postcard of your family decisions…”

“But the next time you see us… bla bla bla. We know the story.” Crowley and Rowena smiled and the demon winked at them before they disappeared into thin air.

“Two out of three: done.” Dean said and sighed. “I need a long week of sleep after this whole shit’s done.”

Sam huffed a laugh and patted his brother on the back.

When they turned to the kitchen, Castiel and Jody were back there.

“Crap.” Dean mumbled as they walked to the kitchen. “Hey Jodes.” He smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder on the way to the sink.

“Hey Dean.” She greeted and smiled. “I was just getting to know our new friend Jack here.”

“I like Jody.” Jack said, and everyone turned to look at him. “She’s honest and her heart is very pure.”

“You do?” Cas asked in surprise and Jack nodded. “That’s really good.”

Jody raised her eyebrows while looking at Cas. “Would you like to come live with me for a while, then?” She asked, smiling at Jack. “Alex is off to college and Claire is barely home with the amount of cases she gets.”

Cas widened his eyes and felt concern for the girl.

“We need to talk about that, too.” Jody said to Cas, shaking her head. “But what do you say, Jack?”

The young man looked deeply at Castiel.

“Jody has a nice house and an incredible family. You’ll live a balanced and calm life with her.” Cas explained, hoping Jack would accept the offer.

“But will I see you?” Jack asked, squinting.

“Of course.” Cas assured him, caressing his shoulder. “You can see me whenever you want. I’ll make sure of that.”

“We can give you a nice space in the house. A cozy bedroom and a phone so you can talk to Castiel whenever you want.” Jody offered. “And you can go to the bunker to visit him monthly, too. How does that sound?” She smiled and raised her eyebrows.

Jack nodded and looked at Cas again. “If I get to see Castiel, I’ll go.”

Jody’s smile got even wider. “Great!” She celebrated. “Welcome to the family, Jack!”

“We can get you some clothes on the way home.” Mary said.

“Wait, what?” Dean asked. “You’re going with them?”

“Oh, right. I forgot to tell you, boys.” Mary got up and stood closer to Sam and Dean. “I’ll be staying with Jody. Hope that’s not a problem.” She smiled at them, hopefully. “I want to be there for her and Jack as much as I want to be here for you boys. But I think it’s a great opportunity to start over.”

“Not a problem at all, mom.” Sam said, returning the smile. “We want you to be happy.”

Dean nodded. “I wish you’d stay with us… but if that’s what you want, mom, then you should go and be as happy as you can.”

“I won’t disappear.” She said. “I promise to be in touch and visit you.”

Sam and Dean nodded and she hugged them. “Now listen to me.” She continued, eyes holding back tears. “I want you to go home and please start living your lives.”

Dean nodded and Sam held in a breath, surprised.

“Promise me you’ll focus on things other than hunting for once.” The tears made lines on her dusted cheeks.

“Of course, mom.” Sam said, truthfully. “We promise.”

Mary nodded and looked at Dean, waiting.

“Yeah I… I promise.” He whispered.

“I will go visit you and if you’re not doing what you just promise, I swear to god…” She said and laughed.

Mary hugged them both at the same time.

“We’ll be okay, mom.” Sam said.

“I love you boys.” She answered.

Sam kissed her on the cheek and left to help Jody.

“Take care of Cas, Dean.” Mary whispered, holding Dean’s elbow to prevent him from walking away. “He doesn’t look well… he needs you and I bet you need him just as much.”

She smiled and caressed his forearm before leaving to help arranging everything for the trip back to Sioux Falls.

 

***

 

An hour later Cas was hugging Jack tight and promising him that he was going to take care of some things first but soon he was going to visit him. Jack nodded and got into Jody’s car quietly.

Jody talked to Sam and then came closer to Dean, wrapping him in a strong hug. “You listen to your mother, Dean.” She said, looking him in the eye. “Go live your life. Settle down and stop looking for trouble.”

Dean looked away, staring at Cas while she spoke.

“The world has enough hunters... you, your brother and your angel can take a break and find something else to do now.”

Nodding, Dean kept his eyes on the way Cas struggled to walk due to the big wound on his stomach. Jody followed his eyes and then patted his chest, right over his heart.

“Follow it.” She said, and Dean finally looked at her. “Al least once.”

Dean hugged her tight again and held back tears with the big knot in his throat. “Thanks.” He whispered and let her go as he saw Cas coming closer to them.

“I promise to call and tell you guys how things are going.” She said looking at Cas. “I’ll do my best with him, just as I did with Alex and Claire.”

“I have no doubts, Jody.” Castiel said. “They both turned out great. I’m certain Jack will too.”

“Yeah.” Dean agreed. “You’re an amazing mom, Jody. If anyone can handle the devil’s kid… it’s you.”

“Ugh.” She shivered. “Don’t remind me of that.”

With a laugh, she hugged Cas and waved as she walked to the rented car.

“Bye everyone.” She yelled and waved. Mary did the same on the ride seat and Jack lifted his hand from the back.

The car took off and Dean sighed.

“I think I’m hungry.” Cas said seriously, causing Dean’s sigh to become a laugh.

“Let’s go inside.” Dean said and placed his arm around Cas’ back to help him walk.

Once Cas was sitting on the big couch with Sam and Dean on the armchairs by his sides, the brothers started discussing when they’d go back to the bunker.

“Alright then.” Dean said, defeated. “We’ll go home first thing in the morning.”

Cas kept quiet the whole time, only listening and trying to find the best way to tell Dean and Sam what he was planning. Soon he found out that there was no easy way to say what he needed.

“I won’t be going back to live with you both in the bunker.” He said, closing his eyes to avoid seeing any sort of reaction.

Dean swallowed thick. Deep down he knew something like that would happen eventually. Things were going _too_ well.

“What?” Sam said, his smile slowly fading. “What are you talking about, man?”

“I can’t live with you in the bunker.” Cas said, opening his eyes to see the scowl on Dean’s face. “I will live as a normal human from now on. Get a job and find somewhere to live in order to help raising Jack.”

Dean huffed a laugh and nodded, biting the inside of his right cheek. “Of course you will.” He murmured as he got up and walked to the kitchen.

“Cas, you don’t have to do that.” Sam insisted. “You can work, of course… that’s a great idea but you don’t have to find somewhere else to live.”

“Sam I do not wish to rely on you and Dean.” Cas’ voice rose with a little anger. “I don’t have enough grace to be an angel and I have enough grace to not be like the other humans.” He explained, hurtfully. “What if I keep living when you die? I need to learn to do everything by myself.”

Sam’s face fell. He looked behind Cas and saw Dean with his back towards them, his right hand over his eyes.

“We won’t make you do anything, Cas.” Sam said more quietly. “But you have to know that we want you to stay with us. No matter what.”

“You can’t do that to us, Cas.” Dean’s voice came from the kitchen, broken.

Cas closed his eyes and heard Sam leaving the room.

“After everything that happened.” Dean continued, walking back to the living room. “You can’t just go. You can’t leave us.” He said, waving his hands.

“Dean…” Cas pleaded and opened his eyes.

“No, Cas!” Dean screamed, anger blowing his restrains. “Cut the crap, man! We all have been through hell but _we’re all alive_. You’re not supposed to leave me now that things are okay.”

Castiel’s mind was running wild. He’d thought about what he needed to say. He was going to explain everything that bothered him… all the traumas and pains. And he was going to leave them to be happy as Mary told them to.

That would’ve worked perfectly when he was a full angel. But now he was human and being human implies having a lot of trouble to turn thoughts into words, especially during an argument.

So he did what most humans do in fights: he lost control of his feelings and words.

"From the moment I met you, I've caused a lot more harm than safety and assistance to your lives.” He screamed, holding back tears as he got up. The anger nullifying the pain on his abdomen. “All I did was cause pain and make bad situations even worse! I’m not good to have around, Dean! Can’t you see that?!”

Cas stared at Dean’s surprised and hurt face for long seconds, both of them remaining silent.

Castiel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I do not wish to fight about this, Dean. I’m sorry for screaming and losing control.” He said. “I'm sure being away from you is the best choice for everyone right now.”

Dean shook his head and looked down, tears slipping from his eyes just as Cas was slipping from his life again.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Castiel whispered.

Still not moving, Dean let the tears fall, not having strength to stop them.

“I am enormously thankful for everything you did to me, Dean. Especially since I didn’t deserve any of it.” Cas whispered and after touching Dean’s left shoulder, walked with difficulty to the bedroom. “I will repay you someday.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will get better soon, I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this fic let's pretend Lebanon is a bigger city than it actually is, okay? Thanks :)

Castiel left during the night, not having courage to say goodbye. He knew Dean was standing by the window watching his copper truck leaving in the dark. Cas could feel the green eyes on him and that hurt more than ever.

As soon as he arrived in Lebanon, Cas drove around town, looking for any stores and shops with the hanging “help wanted” sign. He entered a big convenience store, trying not to limp, and looked for the manager. He had stopped at a department store on the road to buy himself clothes, wanting to look a little more decent to make it easier for him to get a job.

After telling the woman that he had already worked as a sale assistant at a Gas-N-Sip in Idaho, he got the job. Loraine, said manager, told him that one of her other employees would be starting maternity leave in a month and, so he could start on the following Monday.

After that, Castiel went back to the same street the bunker was on and parked in front of a house in the middle of the woods.

An elderly woman used to live there and Castiel enjoyed spending time with her whenever he could. She always made him tea or coffee, and always told him her life stories. She constantly asked why was an angel there with her even though Cas never told her that he was one.

Janette had died a week before Castiel found Claire back in 2014. She left a letter to tell him that she had no kids and no one to keep her things, so she wanted Castiel to have her belongings because he was “a real human angel” for her and he deserved it.

Cas stayed there a couple of times after she passed, whenever he didn’t feel comfortable enough to stay in the bunker.

Now, the house was really abandoned and poorly cared. The wooden walls were cracking and the lights wouldn’t turn on. The woods were starting to cover the sidewalls and the grass was tall.

Castiel decided that the place suited what he believed to deserve: abandonment…

For Dean and Sam, the return to the bunker was quiet and painful. They stayed inside for more than a week until their physical strength was fully regained. Castiel went there two times to gather some belongings, but didn’t communicate directly with them. He knew that Dean and Sam were upset and he should have explained his feelings better, but staying in the bunker to do that was too painful.

The unwanted betrayals and the control the nephilim had established upon him before he was even born did not leave his mind. He didn't believe that Jack's powers could bring paradise anymore. The large corridors and the presence of the brothers activated vivid memories of his previous actions, harsh words, lies, thefts and maltreatment.

He never wanted any of that. Once again, he'd been taken into the wrong path by believing he was doing the right thing.

Castiel went to the bunker one last time to get a couple of books he owned. Before leaving, he saw Sam and Dean sitting on the war room. Sam had a hopeful look in his eyes but was trying to smile and be supportive of Cas’ decision, while Dean didn’t look away from the computer screen.

“I am profoundly sorry for all the distress I've caused to your lives." Cas said brokenly and left, not returning to the bunker since.

It was odd and unhealthy, but it was how they started living: away from each other.

Dean started drinking himself to sleep after Cas left to avoid the nightmares, thoughts and feelings, not having enough courage to fall asleep on his own.

Castiel received frequent messages from a drunk Dean saying that he missed him and wish he’d just come back. Castiel never replied, especially because he knew Dean wouldn’t remember any of that on the following days.

Dean barely left his bedroom and when he did it was because he wanted to go on a hunt. Sam sent him back to his bed every single time, repeating over and over that hunting would not help him this time. After a month of frequent inebriation, Sam dragged an almost unconscious Dean to the bathroom and placed him under a showerhead releasing cold water. After his clothes were soaked and his eyes were a little more open, Sam threw him a towel.

“Crying your eyes out and killing your liver won’t bring Cas back to you.” Sam said, extremely angry. “Get your shit together and start living, Dean. I don’t wanna bury your stupid ass next month.”

Sam left and Dean got up, taking his clothes off to shower properly.

Dean barely slept that night, thinking a lot about everything that was happening, about what he was doing to himself. He knew Cas had more problems than he was letting on, and he wouldn’t force anything out of him because Cas would never do that to him if tables were turned.

He needed to organize himself and his life the way his mother and Jody asked him to. So he wrote down his thoughts on a piece of paper and decided to start with finding himself a job, preferentially one where he would be paid, and then he'd find a way back into Cas’ life.

In the morning, Dean shaved and dressed clean clothes. He got his keys and went to town. He knew where Cas was working because Sam had told him, so he chose another convenience store. Despite the fact that he desperately wanted to see Cas, maybe it wasn’t a good idea just yet.

On the next day, he visited the three garages in town to find himself a job. On the second one, he met Bradley. The man happily gave him a job after Dean lied and said he worked as a mechanic at “ _Singer Auto Salvage”_ in Sioux Falls for years. Apparently “ _any friends of Bobby are real professionals_ ”. Dean wasn’t sure if the man was talking about professionalism regarding cars or monsters and he didn’t really want to know.

After sharing the news with Sam, he let his feelings talk louder and called Cas.

_“This is my voicemail. Make your voice... a mail.”_

“Hey man.” Dean said. “I got a job… so I’m a mechanic now. That means I don’t have to fraud credit cards anymore.” He huffed a laugh. “Uh, look, I’m…”

His voice faltered and he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for calling you all the time when I was drunk. I kinda lost myself after you left.”

Dean got up and walked around his bedroom.

“I hope you’re okay…” He said and paused again. “We should meet up sometime… I, uhm… we miss you.”

 _Beep_.

Dean nodded to himself and threw the phone on the bed before going to the war room to help Sam.

 

***

 

After leaving Cas that message, Dean and Sam were invited for dinner at Cas’ house on the following weekend.

Jack was there and as far as they could tell, the young man was doing great with Jody, and his powers didn’t seem to be a problem.

Less than two months had passed since the whole “separation” between them. Dean was happy to see how much Cas had accomplished on that small period of time, the beautiful house he had and how well he was dealing with humanity, but at the same time he was upset that he wasn’t a part of Cas’ new life.

He was even more upset that apparently Cas _didn’t want_ him being a part of his new life.

It was weird seeing Cas out of the suit and trenchcoat, wearing shorts and a t-shirt with a sun printed on it. Dean also noticed he didn’t walk like he used to. There was an ease on the way he walked barefoot around the house while he gave Sam and Dean a tour and then led them to the living room to see Jack.

Dinner was cooked by Cas himself and Dean was surprised with how amazing it tasted. Deep down he wished things were different between them because maybe he could be with Cas all the time then.

Castiel still didn’t laugh much or smiled. When he wasn’t speaking, it was obvious that there was something right underneath his façade that showed he wasn’t alright and happy as Dean thought he was. He seemed hurt. _Profoundly hurt_. And Dean felt bad for thinking bad things and hating on Cas for his decision to leave.

He had a point in his words about attracting bad things, but not quite in the way he thought. Bad things did chase them, but it wasn’t because of Cas’ presence. Bad things had been happening way before Cas came into their lives.

Seeing Cas’ swollen eyelids blinking slowly and tiredly at that warm night in late June, Dean decided he was going to do everything he could to make Cas see that they were _all_ unlucky, and that condition had absolutely nothing to do with him.

That night Dean went home with hope in his heart, thinking that maybe things could get better.

 


	5. Chapter 5

On July 1st,, the following Saturday, Dean showed up at Cas’ house with beer, burgers and Die Hard on DVD.

Castiel stayed apprehensive the whole time Dean was there, not talking much because he didn’t want to get close to Dean just to lose everything again.

They ate and drank the beers while watching the movie, and Dean felt the hope getting even stronger.

Before leaving, Dean thanked Cas for the night and asked if he could come over again on the following Saturday. Castiel hesitated and thought about denying it but before he could, Dean was talking.

“I get it that you want me to stay away, Cas. But I’m not ready to give up on you like that.” He explained seriously and shrugged. “I know you’re not okay like you say you are and I won’t make you talk to me about it… but _please_ give me a chance to be around you and prove you’re not bad for me.”

Castiel looked down, visibly trying to hide his emotions.

“Just text me if I can come over again, okay?” Dean asked and nodded to himself when Cas didn’t say anything. “Night, Cas. See ya.”

On Thursday before leaving for work, Dean saw he had a text from Cas.

 **Cas [07:57 am]**  
**Saturday at 6 pm?**  
**I’ll cook us dinner.**

Dean smiled big and tried not to drown in happiness while he answered.

 **Dean [08:20 am]**  
**Sounds good**  
**I’ll bring the beer ;)**

Three days had never passed so slowly in Dean’s life.

Dean swallowed his pride before going to Cas’ house and while he was there, he made sure to tell Cas how important he was and how much he was missed. He also begged Cas to give him a chance to show him that he was good and nothing bad was going to happen.

Castiel nodded slowly with a smile and started talking more, even telling Dean how he was dealing with everything on his new life, including Jack.

After that night, things started to change.

Dean insisted on going over to Castiel's house every weekend and eventually he started to notice how something was always added to the rooms: a lamp, a rug, different cups, decorative objects, or simply a new plant on the dining table. When he told that to Sam, his brother’s comment was that perhaps Cas was " _adjusting to a mundane life_ " and that Dean " _should start doing the same_ ".

Castiel tried to act with indifference whenever Dean showed up at his house but his heart always had a weakness when it came to the hunter.

Usually on Saturdays, Dean and Cas had dinner together, watched a couple of movies and Dean stayed to sleep in the guest room that Castiel was gradually furnishing for whenever Dean or Jack stayed. It took Dean a month to finally convince Cas that he was not visiting him out of pity, and that Dean really wanted to spend quality time with him, keep him company. Only then Castiel let him spend nights at his house.

They also shared lunch with Sam on Sundays and then the brothers would go back to the bunker, leaving Cas with his good new life for the week.

Cas was still a little apprehensive to let them back into his life, even after the months of being human by himself and managing to accomplish a lot. But as he was learning, being human meant having relationships with people around him, especially since he felt lonely more than once.

He still didn’t trust his coworkers enough to invite them over, so he decided that Dean and Sam were the best choices of people to have around… they were family after all.

 

***

 

By October, a little more than four months after they locked Lucifer away, things were finally steady and calm for all of them.

Sam's plan was to finally try to have a normal life, but Dean seemed unable to completely quit hunting. His acquired adrenaline addiction prevented him from leaving everything behind at once.

Because of that, Sam tried to make the hunts more sporadic and never too serious. As much as the adrenaline was necessary for his brother, their psychological set would not withstand any other disasters.

In those four months, the worst they dealt with was a Wendigo and besides that, they only went for quick salt and burns and soon were back home.

Given this new context, Sam was in a selective process to be a history teacher at the largest school in town. Dean was still working as a mechanic. And Castiel continued on his job at the convenience store.

The three of them remaining in Lebanon.

The three of them trying to keep going in their own weird ways.

 

***

 

It was October 13 when Dean found himself sitting on his bed contemplating an old photograph of Sam and Castiel chuckling over a pan full of popcorn burnt by Cas. He instantly remembered a certain Saturday night in August when Castiel was preparing them dinner while he wandered around the house as usual.

The images on his closed eyelids formed a nostalgic cloud. That had been a great night...

_Dean was studying the decor of the living room shelf when he noticed a sympathetic porcelain cow next to a pictureless frame._

_"What's with the cow?" He asked, holding the object between his fingers and chuckling._

_"What about it?" Castiel replied with concern as he appeared at the kitchen entrance. "Is it inappropriate somehow?"_

_"Oh! No, no!" Dean hurried to tranquilize him, returning the object to the shelf. "There's nothing wrong! It's just that people who have these things are usually kinda... old?"_

_"Well, I am old." Castiel shrugged and went back into the kitchen._

_"I know." Dean whispered._ _He went to the kitchen and set the table, then sat down to wait while Castiel finished the food._ _"So, Cas." He started, rummaging the cutlery. "You really don't think about going back to the bunker?"_

_"Dean..." Castiel's voice came as a plea, his back still turned to the table._

_"I know! I know..." Dean nodded and sighed. "You wanna live by yourself or whatever."_

_Cas turned around and looked at Dean, shrinking his chin and nodding slightly._

_"We miss you, man!" Dean explained, raising one hand and shrugging one shoulder. "I miss you..." He completed quietly._

_Castiel's eyes then fell to his own feet, which were covered only by white socks._

_"And you could live by yourself with us." Dean insisted, trying his best to convince him. “We told you that.”_

_"Dean..." Cas repeated the supplication. "I don't wish to talk about this right now, please.”_

_"Alright." Dean raised his hands in surrender, straightening in his chair. "I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about any of this."_

_"Thank you." Castiel murmured whilst turning off the stove. He set the pan on the table and sat down in front of Dean._

That night they watched Die Hard for the seventh time together and recited John McClane's lines as they sipped their beers.

They fell asleep leaning against each other on the couch and Dean couldn't deny that he felt an intense throbbing in his chest when he woke up and noticed how close he and Cas were, and how comfortable he'd been with the situation.

That moment brought back some feelings he'd worked very hard to hide during the years. He went to bed thinking that maybe it wasn't a bad thing to feel them again now, once they were all moving on and trying to have a considerably normal life.

After that night, Dean started feeling as if his heart had been torn open, bleeding affection everywhere when he was with Cas or thought about him… and that happened frequently. The following six Saturdays were really hard. He ached to touch Cas all the time and ached to know if Cas would like to be closer to him that way.

They knew each other for nine years now and Dean realized he felt something for Cas a little before they went to purgatory. He never did anything about it or accepted said feelings, only restrained everything behind the walls inside his mind.

It never seemed the right time, something was always happening with them and he created all possible excuses to deny the desires and lock them up even further inside of him.

But not anymore. Cas was barely an angel and he hadn’t been on a hunt for… three weeks? He didn’t even know anymore.

All he did was think about Cas, go to work, talk about Cas, help Sam with practices for the interviews, go to Cas’ house and think about Cas a little more before bed. He was pretty much a pinning teenager.

Cas was different, too. He touched Dean more now, lingered on their hugs and Dean often caught him staring at his lips.

After the memories and the consideration of those things for the thousand time that week, Dean got up from his bed and decided to talk to Sam before going back to the garage.

“Hey, Sam." He called, approaching the table his brother was using to stack books.

"Yeah?" Sam said, raising his eyes briefly to notice Dean's nervousness. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his pants, the irregular blinks and the involuntary contractions of his lips were evident. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" Dean replied seeing that Sam wouldn't put the books aside. "I just wanted to know if you think I should ask Cas out."

Sam stopped looking at the book and left it on the table.

"Out?" He asked. "Like... _out_ , out? On a date, out?" Dean nodded, and Sam's eyes widened considerably.

It’s not like he didn't suspected what his brother felt for Castiel or didn't often questioned his so-called heterosexuality. The surprise was on the fact that Dean had never directly said any of those things and now he was saying them all in one small sentence.

"Uhm." Sam started. "I think that..."

"Things are calm, right? It’s been almost five months since all that crap and we're all trying to move on..." Dean interrupted him and started to speak without breathing between sentences. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and swung them emphatically. "I thought maybe I could try something. But he probably has no interest at all. I don't know what I was thinking... why would he want anything with me?"

"Dean." Sam called, noticing that Dean was already hyperventilating.

"He is an angel! Well… half an angel. But he's not looking for stuff like that." Dean shrugged and ignored his brother to keep talking nonstop. "And besides, he chose to stay away from me, in that stupid house that is getting more and more incredible. Shit he even got a job! He'll end up leaving me just like..."

"Dean!" Sam yelled while approaching him and shaking his brother's shoulders, pulling him toward the table. "Take a deep breath and sit down."

Nodding, Dean panted a few times to stabilize his breathing.

"Look." Sam began, realizing that Dean was calmer and listening. "The last thing you need to worry about is _if_ Cas has feelings for you. He’d always been interested and you know it."

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but Sam stopped him by raising his index finger.

"I do think you should ask him out. And your only concern should be to prove that you need him close and want to have a future with him." Sam advised. "Because that's why he left us and is distancing himself! Cas believes that everything he does is somehow bad, and I had no effect in saying otherwise... maybe you could change his mind with time."

After thinking for a few seconds, Dean nodded.

"I'll help you." Sam continued. "But I don't want arguments or pathetic attempts of denial, okay? And if we need to have a “ _chick-flick”_ moment, as you stupidly say... we will have."

"Fine." Dean muttered under his breath and rolled his eyes.

"First you should ask him out. And then you'll think of something if he accepts."

Dean's heart sped up again with the possibility of rejection.

"Where's your phone?" Sam asked, and Dean pulled the device from his back pocket. "I don't think you'll want to call him and explain that it'll be a date and not a regular dinner so text him."

"Okay." Dean nodded again and waited for Sam to say something.

"What?" Sam questioned after a few seconds. "I won't dictate what you should say to him! Come on, man."

Rolling his eyes again, Dean started to type and seconds later showed it to Sam. "Just add a _"hey"_ at the beginning and then send it." Sam said.

"Maybe I should wait until he's at work so he won't see it right now." Dean considered, obviously chickening out.

" _Please_ just send it." Sam begged.

Snorting, Dean pressed send.

 **Dean [01:02 pm]**  
**Hey Cas**  
**What do you think about going out sometime?**  
**Dinner, maybe... on a date?**

Dean threw his phone on the table, grunting and sinking into the chair.

"I shouldn't have done that." He mumbled. “He’ll say no.”

“You look like a teenager, Dean." Sam stated, going back to his books.

A few minutes passed and Dean continued being the biggest pile of nerves existent while stirring his legs, cracking his fingers and tapping his feet uncontrollably. The noises starting to irritate Sam.

However, before Sam could complain the device vibrated and, in synchrony, Dean jumped away from the table and Sam turned toward the noise.

"Just take it." Sam said. "Stop being a baby about this."

In ragged breaths, Dean reached the phone cautiously, as if it would burn his fingers.

 **Cas [01:15 pm]**  
**Hello, Dean!**  
**I think I would like that very much.**

Dean's eyes widened and he sighed in relief and surprise, looking at Sam and then reading the message again several times to make sure he read it right.

Sam got closer and read the words over Dean's shoulder. Patting his brother's back, he smiled. "So? How's it gonna be?" He asked. "A movie? Dinner at home or restaurant?"

Dean took a deep breath and tried to organize his mind.

It had been a long time since he had a date. To be honest, he couldn't even remember the last time... There was no doubt he was rusty.

But he knew this was his only chance and Castiel was too important, so every possible precaution was necessary for a perfect night. He'd already created the courage to text Cas, so he had to go on with it... it was his one and only chance.

Nodding to himself and leaving any traces of shame aside, Dean took another deep breath. "Restaurant." He decided. "I'll pick him up and we'll go to that Italian place he always talks about. Then we can do something else in town if he wants to."

"Great idea." Sam agreed, still smiling. "Now, reply the message already."

 **Dean [01:17 pm]**  
**Awesome**  
**Pick you up tomorrow? 7pm works for u?**

Before Dean even left the phone on the table again it vibrated, eliciting a big smile from his face.

 **Cas [01:18 pm]**  
**Sure. 7 pm it is… I can't wait.**  
**See you tomorrow. xo**

Sam got closer again and laughed. "I don't have to ask you to answer the 'xo', right?"

Dean elbowed him and typed the final answer.

 **Dean [01:18 pm]**  
**Same**  
**See ya ;) xx**

"I'm gonna do this right, Sammy." Dean declared before heading back to work.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you things would get better soon ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, when you see this: [*] please play the song 'And I Love You So' from 'Don McLean'. Hope you guys enjoy the fluff party :)

 

Dean spent the following day walking around in the bunker, taking things from their place and not putting them back. He went downtown to buy unnecessary supplies and insisted on complaining about every little thing he could.

At five o'clock he took a long shower, and nearly at six he stopped in front of his bed, which was covered with unfolded clothes.

He put on some shirts and took them off, finding none of them good enough.

Dean walked over to the dresser and rummaged through the drawers again, finding a dark green button up shirt still inside its plastic. He remembered that Sam had bought it as a birthday present and he’d never used it before.

Dean dressed it over a black t-shirt and chose his darkest jeans. He sat on the bed and tied his boots. Lastly, he abused of some of his best cologne.

"What do you think?" He asked at the kitchen door, opening his arms.

Sam narrowed his eyes in consideration. “It's good." He answered and shrugged.

 _"Good?"_ Dean repeated, moving to return to the bedroom. "Fuck, good is not great."

"Dean!" Sam laughed. "I'm just kidding, come back here."

Cranky, Dean went back inside the kitchen. He poured a little whiskey in a glass and drank it without breathing.

"You look great, don't worry about it." Sam reassured him. "Everything's gonna be fine, Dean! Cas already likes you... There's really no reason to be worried."

Dean snorted but agreed, and after saying goodbye, he took his keys and ran to the garage.

From the moment he sent the message to Cas, Dean had been feeling different. With his eyes fixed on the steering wheel, he realized that it was as if that huge wall he had built around his feelings and emotions was cracking and falling with every action related to Castiel.

After taking a deep breath, Dean finally started the car.

 

***

 

With the white carnations bouquet he'd bought that afternoon in his hands, Dean walked the few yards of wood between the street and the house. The improvised path of stones was between the trees without invading them or stealing their space.

The lights on the left window and the lamp above the door were on. Dean climbed the single stair step and knocked twice, rubbing his right hand in his pants to get rid of sweat while his left squeezed the stems of the flowers.

He heard the footsteps approaching, and then the door opened completely.

Castiel was grinning. His eyes glittered in expectancy as they stared into Dean's.

He was... _different_.

"Hey, Cas." Dean murmured, not finding enough volume to his voice.

"Hello, Dean." Cas greeted. He blinked a few times and broke eye contact as he noticed the flowers.

"These are for you." Dean said with a smile. "Put them in the water and they must live for quite a while and you... you probably already know all this." With a nervous laugh, Dean held out the flowers toward Castiel, and he felt like a teenager as Cas' cold fingers touched his.

"They're really beautiful." Castiel said with a fond smile, bringing the bouquet to his nose. "I adore carnations... thank you, Dean. I loved it."

"My pleasure." Dean began to calm himself as he noticed that Cas appeared to be calm.

"Please, come inside." Castiel invited, opening space between himself and the door. "I just need to get my coat and then we can go."

Dean nodded and as he closed the door, Castiel walked into the kitchen to fill a vase with water. "Looks like it will get colder in the next couple of hours, are you wearing enough clothes?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, don't worry." Dean said. "And I have extra coats in the car if we need."

“I saw the weather forecast on the news and it said there’s a cold snap coming up today and tomorrow.” Castiel said as he placed the vase on the table. “I’m still not used to all these sudden changes.”

“Me neither.” Dean laughed.

Castiel smiled as he walked past him and headed to the hall.

Dean noticed then that what he'd noticed as "different" in Cas began with his clothes. He was used to seeing Cas on t-shirts and sweatpants for a while now, but that night he was wearing a dark button-up shirt and jeans that were tight to his body in the exact size. If Dean thought Cas couldn't possibly look any better, he was really wrong.

Castiel returned a few minutes later in a casual blazer. The dark gray highlighting the blue of the wide eyes that obviously were expecting Dean to say something.

"Uhm..." Dean began with a sigh, trying to form coherent words amid his fascination. "You look amazing, Cas."

"Thank you, Dean." Castiel said and got closer without taking his eyes from Dean's. "And you look stunning."

After a small smile, Dean cleared his throat, not knowing what else to say. "We should get going." He whispered. "The reservation is for seven-thirty."

Nodding, Castiel opened the door. His cologne leaving a trail behind him, drawing Dean closer without uttering a single word.

Dean's favorite tape - _romantics from the 80s_ \- played incessantly on the way to the restaurant.

As soon as they arrived, a waitress introduced herself as Andy and led them to the table Dean had called and reserved.

Dean pulled a chair for Castiel and sat in front of him. They ordered their meals and drinks, and as soon as Andy left their eyes were already on each other, not finding enough strength to look around.

“So, how was your week?” Castiel asked after a few minutes, but before Dean could answer, Andy arrived and poured wine in their glasses. “Thank you.” Castiel nodded at her before she left.

“Uhm.” Dean took a sip and nodded. “It was good… worked a lot. Finished with all the cars assigned to me.” He shrugged with a proud smile.

“That’s great.” Cas said and lifted the glass of wine to his lips. “You seem to be enjoying your job at the garage a lot.”

“I really like it.” Dean smiled fondly, looking down at his own plate. “It’s different from everything I’ve ever done but it’s great.”

“This is amazing, Dean. I’m glad you’re happy.” Castiel stated, also smiling.

They did have more than nine years of history together, but that didn't annul the nervousness they both felt about the situation.

“What about you?” Dean nodded towards Cas. “How are things at the store?”

“Things are… changing.” Castiel’s eyes widened, as if he had news. “Loraine, the current manager and owner, will move to Canada and she wants me to take her place as manager.”

“That’s awesome, man.” Dean smiled wide, sincerely. “Will you?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Castiel looked around the restaurant, a shy smile on his face. ”It would be less hours working at the store and more money, but it would mean a lot more responsibility too.”

Dean nodded, and took another sip of his glass while Cas did the same.

“I’m not sure _I_ am the most qualified person for that since I have been living as a human for less than six months. But then again, Kylee just had her second child and Patrick is always… _high_.” Cas bit the inside of his cheek. “I need to think about it.”

“Well, for what’s worth I think you can do it.” Dean said and winked at him. “You’re a fast learner and very responsible as far as I can tell. I mean… look at how much you’ve accomplished in four months, dude.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel tilted his head and smiled lovingly.

Dean lifted his hand to reach Cas’ across the table.

“Here we go!” Andy announced her arrival and Dean pulled his hand back, Castiel noticing the quick gesture. The waitress placed their plates on the table. “Have a nice dinner, guys.”

“Thank you.” Cas and Dean said at the same time, the woman smiled and left again.

“This looks great.” Dean said, a hungry look on his eyes as he stared at his pasta.

He immediately started eating while Cas observed him and thought about how beautiful Dean was.

“Hm, so you finally finished the repairs inside the house?” Dean asked after a few minutes, when Cas started eating.

“Yes!” Cas’ eyes lit up in happiness. “Now I can start working in the yard, planting some fruits and herbs, cut out some of that bush…”

“I can help if you’d like.” Dean offered, shrugging.

“That would be great.” Castiel smiled excitedly. “But only if it won’t bother you, of course.”

“No!” Dean shook his head. “Not at all.”

“Well then, thank you very much.”

“It seems like in a couple of days the “fall weather” finally will settle.” Dean said and Castiel nodded, chewing his pasta. “It’s still so warm lately; I couldn’t even go on my walks during my lunch break.”

“I didn’t know you were exercising.” Castiel smiled big.

“Yeah well it’s not really _exercising_.” Dean felt his neck burning. “I think it’s only an excuse to keep eating unhealthy stuff, you know?”

“I bet it will be good for your health anyway… It’s nice that you took this initiative.”

Smiling, Dean felt the heat coming up to his cheeks and Castiel smiled back before focusing on his plate.

Dean then took the moment to study the man in front of him. He noticed the dark, gel-covered strands of hair, the pale skin that disappeared behind the collar of his shirt, the tinkling that the zipper in his coat sleeve produced every time his hands moved over his plate, his fleshy and cracked lips…

Everything about Castiel was beautiful and worthy of praise. And Dean realized that all he wanted was a real chance to make sure Cas was aware of that.

Castiel raised his eyes from his plate and caught Dean’s stare. A sincere smile rose the corner of his lips before he looked down again.

They continued eating and chatting, the tension slowly dissipating and giving them space to be themselves again.

"I have to say... I didn't believe the message when you sent it." Castiel said as they left the restaurant. "That's why it took me some minutes to respond."

"Really?" Dean asked, and then gave Cas a little shove on the arm with his elbow. "Thought you had faith in me?"

Castiel laughed slightly at the joke, but stopped walking.

"That's not it." He said, and his smile closed as he swallowed. "I only found strange your sudden interest after so long. I didn't think you felt anythi..."

"Well, I do." Dean interrupted him and shrugged. "These last months, Cas, every night and every weekend at your house? That...” He took a deep breath. “That's what I want."

Cas' eyelids flickered and he looked down the empty street, breaking eye contact.

"I just took too damn long to notice that's what I want... _that you are what I want_."

Castiel stared back at him, and Dean's lips tried to form a smile. His whole internal structure was shaking. His walls waiting for an answer that could make everything fall or everything built itself higher and stronger.

"Dean..." Castiel begged with sad eyes. "You know how things are and..."

"Not anymore, Cas." Dean interrupted him again, getting closer and caressing Cas' triceps. "Things are calm now! Easier! We barely get cases and with everything that's happened... there's no reason to big worries anymore."

He didn’t know why exactly he was insisting, only that he couldn’t lose Cas again... he _wouldn’t_ lose Cas again.

As Castiel tried to look away again, one of Dean's hands touched his face, not allowing him to avert his eyes to the street. "Bad things are over, Cas. There’s nothing to protect us from." He said. "I know you carry a lot of guilt, but I need you to understand something once and for all..."

Dean's hands loosened from Castiel's arm and face so that he could lace their fingers together.

"You’re not bad luck. We’re all bad luck. It comes with the job!” He huffed a laugh, still shaking inside. “I don't blame you for anything that happened, Cas. And _I really need you."_ He declared with the steadier stare and voice he could.

Cas' eyes closed and Dean pressed their foreheads together, providing him the so needed security. "It was true when I said it all those years ago, and it still is." He whispered.

"I can't allow myself to the possibility of losing you, Dean." Castiel whispered back. “Or hurting you.”

"Neither can I." Dean agreed and left a kiss on Castiel's left cheek before stepping back. "But you know what? I realized that making memories together is better than regretting never doing anything."

Castiel stared at him for a few more seconds, as if he was searching for answers on Dean’s face, and then nodded with a smile. "Okay." He said, pulling Dean by the hand to continue walking. "You're right. We should try this."

Castiel's fingers gripped Dean's tightly as they walked, each squeeze knocking down bricks from both their walls.

"What else does a date imply?" Cas asked when they got to the car. "The internet made me very confused."

"Well, that depends..." Dean laughed. "Movies, a fair, a play or a concert... It depends a lot on the people. Sometimes a simple walk is enough."

Castiel nodded and analyzed the information as they entered the car.

"But the most awaited part is always the end of the date." Dean continued and Castiel studied the way Dean's right cheek moved with every word he said.

"Yes." Castiel smiled and nodded again. "The internet informed me of that."

"It's at the end that we know if things went well, and if we'll see the person again." Dean explained as he started the car. His thoughts were in a whirlwind, wanting to instruct Cas but hoping that he wasn't wanting all that information for dates with other people in the future.

"That's also when the goodnight kiss happens, right?"

"Uhm..." Dean hesitated, swallowing thick and carefully choosing his words. "Yes... if you're old-fashioned, of course. Kids don't really do that anymore."

"I see." Cas said, and then turned his face to look at the avenue. "I hope you’re old-fashioned."

Dean's breath stopped for a few seconds and he accelerated the car without noticing.

 _Okay_. _,_ he thought, _That means thing are going well. Let's take it easy... Things have to go slow 'cause I don't wanna screw this up._

"You told me about what people do on dates." Castiel said calmly. "I've been thinking... The park never takes away the Christmas lights and on Saturdays there are nice performances in the bandstand."

"That's a great idea." Dean agreed, glancing at Cas and noticing he was full of expectations. "It sounds really cool."

Cas then slightly slid down the car sit to get a little closer to Dean, and turned on the radio. His left hand danced in the space between their legs until Dean let go of the wheel and laced their fingers together.

They seemed unable to get the smiles off their faces. Everything appeared too much and not enough at the same time. Their minds were completely full of thoughts, repeating words and feelings that were said as their actions moved them forward.

A few minutes later they arrived at the park. All the trees were covered with threads of little light bulbs, and the entire ambience seemed to be a dream. Soft music echoed calmly and people danced happily around the bandstand.

"This place is incredible." Dean said, walking arm in arm with Castiel until they could hear the song more clearly but don't get too close to people.

"It is." Cas replied. His eyes gleamed in reflection from the lights, and his hand squeezed the Dean's arm hard.

He noticed Dean's apprehension in approaching the crowd, so he didn't insist. The view was wide and beautiful from where they were, and the tree above them had colored lights on it.

With the end of the song people clapped and whistled, and started getting ready for the next one.

"Can we dance, too?" Castiel asked, looking Dean in the eyes.

Dean nodded with a smile and, as the chords began to play **[*]** , he positioned their bodies together in a comfortable hug.

"I really like this song." Dean whispered into Cas’ neck as he began to swing his body. Castiel copying his movements.

The wind was announcing rain, making everything sensitive and bringing their bodies closer and closer together.

"Can you sing for me?" Castiel whispered back.

Dean's body stiffened, and as Cas felt such tension he stroked Dean's back in encouragement.

“ _But life began again. The day you took my hand.”_ Dean hummed softly _. “And yes I know how lonely life can be. The shadows follow me. And the night won't set me free. But I don't let the evening get me down. Now that you're around me.”_

The air he exhaled with each word brushed Castiel's ear and neck, and as an answer, Cas tightened the hug even more, trying to be as close as possible to Dean's body.

As Castiel began to hum the melody, Dean decided to stop singing and enjoy the gentle sounds the angel was composing. They weren't tuned at all but they could be classified as one of the most angelic and pure sounds he'd heard in his entire life.

Their bodies waved from side to side, almost without lifting their feet from the ground. Both pairs of eyes were closed, and both minds completely in the moment.

Castiel's hands stroked Dean's back, pressing his fingers over his shoulder blades and then stopping softly over the curve of his lower back.

Feeling a sudden scratch in the nape of his neck, Dean quickly opened his eyes and noticed that the strong stormy wind was causing the leaves of the huge Bur Oak above them to fall everywhere. His smile immediately spread on his face... that was a perfect night, and nothing could surpass everything that was happening.

Sam's words came back into his mind: _He’d always been interested and you know it._ Maybe he was right, but Dean couldn’t spend time blaming himself for never doing anything. He had to enjoy what they were living now, and so far it had been damn worth the wait.

At that moment, Dean decided to think only about the angel he loved, who was finally in his arms, dancing to the sound of Don McLean as leaves fell like snow around them and used the grass as their personal palette of oranges and browns.

So damn cliché.

They kept swinging slowly to the chords, bodies already in harmony, not wanting to let go.

 _"And I love you so. The people ask me how, how I've lived till now. I tell them… "I don't know"."_ Dean finished along with the song, leaving another kiss on Castiel's cheek and pressing their temples together.

With their joined chests, Castiel felt Dean's heartbeat quicken even more along with his breathing. Unpinning his head from Dean's, Cas touched Dean's forehead with his own.

Their lips were mere millimeters from each other, ready to touch and give in. But Dean sighed.

"I think we should go." He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

Every molecule in his body said he should kiss Castiel at that moment, but his brain screamed that the date wasn't really over yet.

 

***  

 

"Do you want to come in for some coffee?" Castiel asked when they arrived at his house. "Or maybe some whiskey? I think I kept what was left from the one you brought the other Saturday."

"As much as a drink would do me good, I think we should take this slow, Cas." Dean said, still fighting his instincts.

Castiel narrowed his eyes and stared at him in confusion. "Drinking together would be taking things fast?" He asked.

"Uhm..." Dean cleared his throat and remembered that sometimes Castiel didn't understand that kind of suggestive situations. "That's what people usually say when they want to take things forward, you know... _sexually."_

"It's a sexual innuendo?" Cas asked in incredulous disbelief as he unlocked the door. "Oh, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, Cas. Don't worry..." Dean said, laughing. "I'll take the coffee."

"Come inside, then." Cas said, heading straight to the kitchen.

Dean sat and rested his elbows on the table, watching Castiel pick up the ingredients and prepare everything. He moved so easily around the kitchen, and it was obvious that his agility with the objects and chores had been acquired in the recent months.

"Thanks." Dean said as Cas set a steaming cup in front of him.

They chatted about lunch for the following day while drinking. The meaningful glances they exchanged were a clear sign that the end of the date had already arrived.

"I should get going..." Dean stood up, drumming his fingers on his own thighs. "It's getting late."

"Tonight was great, Dean." Castiel thanked him, also getting up. "I had a lot of fun and your company was, as always, pleasing."

Dean nodded and walked toward the door. "We should go out again soon." He said with a nervous smile, heart pumping.

"We definitely should." Cas agreed, also smiling.

"Well then... Good night." Dean said and got closer to Castiel, wrapping him in a tight embrace.

"Good night." Castiel replied quietly, with his arms also tight around Dean.

As they undid the hug, Dean met Castiel's eyes once again. Noticing the immense expectancy they still contained, he licked his lips involuntarily. Cas did the same and without waiting any longer, ended the space between them.

Castiel pressed his lips against Dean's for a few seconds, until the hunter's brain realized what was happening and proceeded to respond properly. What probably should've been a calm and contained first kiss, was almost only fierce, such urgency to kill the tension they both felt for so long. Dean held Castiel's face affectionately and in return, Cas pressed his fingers on Dean's hips.

For long seconds the two of them remained enveloped by the movements of the kiss. Their hands tightening and loosening on the places they were, and their chests faster than ever as a reflection of the beating hearts.

The pop of their lips as they broke apart was loud enough to awaken both from the trance.

"I..." Dean sighed, eyes still closed to map the event in his mind and make sure he would record it forever.

"Yes..." Castiel whispered, squeezing Dean's shirt between his fingers, preventing him from stepping back.

Opening his eyes, Dean came across Cas' serene face. His lips were parted and bent upwards in a smile, eyes still closed. Not being able to hold himself, Dean kissed him again... calmly and more gently this time. Castiel sighed with surprise while hugging Dean's back completely.

"Good night." Dean whispered against Cas' lips after some time.

"Good night, Dean." Castiel answered before kissing him one last time.

Dean fought himself once more and backed away. He opened the door and after smiling at Castiel, he walked in the dark to the car.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

It finally happened.

Dean had finally taken courage and asked Cas out, and on the next day Castiel had kissed him at the door of his own house.

Sitting on the car, Dean let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He spent long minutes nodding and blinking more times than necessary, as if trying to convince himself that what had just happened was real. The words “Cas kissed me” were on a loop inside his head.

Dean knew he sounded like a teenager but he couldn’t care less. It's not like he had the opportunity to go through moments like those when he was younger. He placed both hands on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. "Okay." He said to himself.

Starting the car, Dean headed for the bunker with a big smile on his face. He whistled contentedly from the garage to the kitchen and for the first time in... forever, he drank a glass of water and didn't even look at the alcohol cabinet.

"Dean?" Sam called from the hallway, coming in.

"What's up, Sammy?"

Sam nodded, narrowing his eyes at the grinning figure of his brother leaning against the counter, sipping from the glass of water. "Uhm... everything okay?" He asked.

"Everything's great." Dean replied.

 _Okay._ , Sam thought, _Weird. Time for direct questions._

"So how was it?" He said. "Everything alright with Cas? With your date?"

"All good." Dean replied simply.

"Care to elaborate?" Annoyed, Sam gestured with his hands for his brother to continue.

"There's nothing to elaborate." Dean shrugged. "We had dinner, went to the park, and I dropped him home."

"That's all?" Sam wasn't satisfied. "Did you at least kiss him?"

Dean suddenly closed his smile.

"It's ten, Dean!" Sam tried to explain his strangeness. "Ten o’clock! You never get home before two in the morning when you go out with someone. Unless you didn’t go...”

Sam's face lit up in surprise while Dean's colored in red.

"You didn't!" He practically screamed, then put his hand on his chest. "Oh, Dean!”

"What?" Dean asked in a thin voice, pretending incredulity.

"I'm right, huh?" Sam smiled broadly and wiggled his eyebrows.

"We're taking things slow, okay?" Dean shrugged and put his glass inside the sink. "It’s Cas! I don't wanna ruin everything."

Sam's smug smile widened even more. "Dean Winchester..." He continued, and Dean rolled his eyes audibly. "Back before midnight after a date, taking things slow, no sex... wow! Didn't think I would live to see this."

"Good God, Sam." Dean snorted and punched his brother's chest as he passed by him. "Such an idiot."

"You two will work, Dean!" Sam shouted, still in the kitchen. "I'll be here to talk when you freak out in the morning."

Dean only stopped walking and snorting as he entered his bedroom and closed the door. He took a deep breath and started to undress, the song from the park was still playing in his head.

Sitting on the bed ready to sleep, Dean took a moment to think about what to do next. Maybe he should send a message to Cas thanking him for the evening. And maybe they could set another date. After a few minutes of mental war, he decided it was best to wait until morning.

Laying down, Dean closed his eyes and he could feel the touch of Castiel's lips against his own. The need and intensity he felt made his heart race again. With a little more imagination, it was possible to feel Cas' fingers buried on his hips, squeezing it lightly as if searching for safety and proof that Dean was actually there in his arms.

Dean hugged his extra pillow tightly, hoping that in the near future Castiel's warm body could be lying next to his.

 

***

 

The next morning Dean woke up early. He immediately reached for his phone and when the screen lit up, a little balloon accused new messages. His heart quickened.

Unlocking the screen, the little balloon with the name he was expecting appeared, and he immediately opened it.

**Cas [11:55 pm]**  
**Dean!**  
**I had a great night.**  
**I hope we can go out again soon.**

**Cas [11:58 pm]**  
**Sleep well.**

Smiling wide Dean felt a good grip on his pulsing heart. Everything had actually happened. It hadn't been a dream like the many others he'd had before. He really had been on a date with Cas, and more than that... it went well.

Dean got up and brushed his teeth, staring at his own reflection. The smile was still there and it didn't seem to want to leave in the near future, and that was getting weird.

 _Maybe I've been wanting this more than I imagined._ , he thought, the toothbrush dangling from his lips, _Well Cas really is important to me and I don't wanna screw this up._

Sam's words then floated in his mind: _"Back before midnight after a date, taking things slow, no sex... wow!"_

 _Shit! Shit, shit, shit! I want this so bad._ Dean spat and washed his face for the third time, pressing his fingers against his eyes. _I can't fuck everything up. Especially not with Cas._

Starting to hyperventilate Dean wiped his face and before leaving the room, he put the phone in his pocket.

"Sam, you said we would have chick-flick moments if we needed, right?" Dean gasped as he entered the kitchen and sat down in front of his brother. "I'm freaking out.”

"And I've been right here waiting for this moment." Sam replied with a sigh and a fake smile, pushing a plate of pancakes with bacon toward Dean. "Please… use your words. No grunting or groaning, much less mumbling. I want you to _talk_."

"This is serious, isn't it?" Dean started, running his hands over his face frantically. "Things with Cas, I mean."

"What makes you say that?" Sam asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"After what you said last night, I realized I've never been that happy after a date.” Dean cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact. "Fuck... I feel like an idiot talking like this, like a fifteen-year-old."

"Dean, I won't judge you for anything if that's what you're thinking." Sam got up and filled a cup of coffee for his brother. "Why don't you just try to say what's on your mind?"

Dean swallowed thick, considering the situation. "Fine." He took a deep breath. "But you can’t laugh or be a jerk about it."

"Don't worry." Sam assured, setting the steaming cup on the table.

Dean nodded as he placed both hands around the cup. "I'm kinda scared." He whispered.

"That's good!" Sam answered.

Dean stared at his brother angrily. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Dean, no. Just..." Sam rolled his eyes. "Go on."

Dean took a sip of his coffee. "Damn, it was the best night of my life, Sammy. I honestly hate myself for avoiding these feelings for so long." Dean's features softened again, and he opened a sincere smile, full of emotions. "He's different than everyone else. There is no discussion."

Sam smiled and continued sipping from his mug, trying his best not to yell: _"I've known this for almost ten years, you idiot!"._

"He kissed me, you know." Dean revealed, looking to the sink. "I was that much of a coward."

Sam continued in silence and noticed the blush rising to his brother's face.

"And he's so human." Dean continued, huffing a laugh. "Eating, worrying about the weather and my health, I... I didn't expect that. It just makes everything so bigger."

"Why?" Sam whispered, confused.

"He feels more things now and I don't know how to handle that. Hell I barely handle my own feelings." Dean explained, leaning his head against the wall beside him. "The only other time he was with anyone... _intimately_ , he ended up dead afterwards. How the hell am I supposed to deal with that kind of trauma?"

Sam pursed his lips. He hadn't really considered this side of the situation. Cas could've been seriously hurt and disturbed by that event and none of them tried to help him, only made pathetic jokes and silly comments.

"I don't even know how to start, you know?" Dean looked at Sam and shrugged helplessly. "He sent me a text thanking for the night and I have no idea how to answer. How ridiculous is that? I’m a grown ass man, I shouldn’t be freaking out!"

Dean pulled the phone from his pocket and set it on the table. Sam opened his mouth to answer, but held himself back.

"What about lunch today?" Dean continued, exalting himself in anxiety again. "Should I kiss him when we get there? Hug him? Fuck, what do I say, Sam?"

"Dean." Sam started and Dean nodded. "You two are adults and you're not getting any younger. I think you should do what you feel like you wanna do. Let Cas give you his limits, and you give him yours."

Dean looked up, nodding again.

"What I think is: you two, idiots, have liked each other for quite some time. You need to be able to talk, establish what you want and what you have to offer to each other. Listen to what he has to say." Sam shrugged, his hands moving as he explained. "Cas trusts you. If he has any problems about intimacies, believe me... he will talk to you about it."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Dean said, nudging the food with his fork.

"Let things happen." Sam advised. "If today he moves in to kiss you, kiss him. And if he hesitates and you want to kiss him, well... kiss him. Don't let any social conventions and standards dictate your relationship, especially since you guys are not an ordinary couple."

Dean smiled weakly, already starting to eat.

"Are you gonna answer his text?" Sam asked with a nod toward Dean’s phone.

Taking a deep breath, Dean picked up the phone and typed the words that came into his mind, not thinking about how they might or not sound.

**Dean [09:32 am]**  
**Morning Cas**  
**The night really was great**  
**And I totally wanna go out again**

**Dean [09:33 am]**  
**We can talk about it at lunch today I guess**  
**We’ll be there around 11, see ya ;)**

Dean sighed, relieved. "Thanks for, you know... helping, Sammy."

"No problem." Sam smiled, getting up and taking the dishes to the sink. "I have to finish the lasagna I promised to make. I'll be right here if you need me."

Dean nodded and took his plate to his bedroom.

 

***

 

"Dean." Sam begged. "It's gonna be okay, man. It's just another Sunday... just me, you and Cas."

Snorting, Dean let Sam walk ahead on the stone path. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stood completely behind his brother when they reached the door, obviously hiding.

Sam knocked a few times and in less than a minute Castiel appeared smiling, releasing an incredible smell of baked potatoes through the door.

"Sam! Good Morning." Cas said.

"Morning, Cas." Sam replied with a smile.

Cas gave Sam a half hug and stretched an arm toward the hall. "Come in, please."

"Here’s the lasagna I promised! I'll leave it in the kitchen."

"Of course! Make yourself comfortable."

Sam stepped inside and took off his shoes before heading straight to the kitchen.

"Hey, Cas." Dean said with a nervous smile as he realized Castiel could see him now that Sam was gone.

"Hello, Dean." Cas said.

Dean stepped closer taking his hands out of his pockets. Castiel's lips formed a tender smile. "I wasn’t sure you would come today." He said.

"I can be a coward, yes." Dean laughed weakly and shrugged. "But not always."

Dean held both Cas' triceps, leaning until his lips found Castiel's. The discreet taste of strawberry holding the touch for several seconds.

Castiel sighed and took a step forward, touching Dean's waist and pressing their lips together harder, trying to make them one. Both Dean's hands slid along Cas' arms until they reached his hands.

As their fingers laced, they parted their lips and fixed their eyes on each other.

"I want to talk to you privately." Castiel whispered and Dean let go of his hands.

"Oh shit..." Dean's smile disappeared and he put one hand over his mouth while the other closed firmly on his side. "You're gonna break up with me? We haven't even been together for 24 hours! Please, Cas, tell me what I did wrong and I promise to never do it again. Was it the kiss? It was too much, wasn’t it?"

"Dean, I'm not going to "break up with you”." Castiel reached for one of Dean's hands again and caressed it after signaling the quotes in the air. "And the kiss was great. I just want to clarify some things that are still confusing for me."

Dean looked away and nodded.

"I'll ask Sam to finish the potatoes. We should talk in my bedroom."

Cas smiled and pulled Dean by the hand into the house. As he closed the door, Cas squeezed Dean’s hand and nodded to the right, where his room was behind the walls.

While Cas' voice echoed through the kitchen walls, Dean walked cautiously through the halls and stopped in front of the last door on the left. He'd never entered Castiel's room before and when he opened the door carefully, he sighed in surprise.

The touch of wood was present there just as it was in every other room in the house. The large, neatly tidy bed had no crumples on the comforter and the pillows seemed to be incredibly comfortable. Two lamps were fixed above the headboard and behind the bed a blue curtain was stretched from the left wall to the fireplace in the far right corner.

The chair on the left side of the bed was accommodating a book and revealing the side in which Castiel slept, and Dean couldn't help smiling when he instantly noticed that he'd always slept on the right side of the bed.

Things seemed to fit perfectly.

The closet on the left side of the door had a mirror in one of the doors, and the four-drawer dresser to the right of the door contained all the room decorations above it. Dean walked over to it and noticed a picture of Claire next to a vase with the white carnations he had bought Cas the day before. A picture of Sam and Dean stood next to a rather cute porcelain cow. A small picture of Jack by Jody’s side was leaning against a small box. A clock in the center of the surface had a soft ticking, almost imperceptible.

Everything matched perfectly with Castiel's personality. Calm, comfortable and cozy.

"All right." Castiel entered the room and closed the door. Dean immediately turned toward him with admiration and affection, feeling a gigantic need to hug him. "What?" Cas asked.

"Nothing." Dean answered, smiling. "Your room really suits you."

Castiel smiled and sat on the bed.

“How was your night?” Dean asked.

“Calm, I suppose.” Cas shrugged. “But I had a hard time falling asleep…”

“Me too.” Dean smiled. “My brain wouldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened last night.”

“Huh.” Castiel shook his head. “Apparently our bond is still alive… because I didn’t sleep until I sent you that message.”

Dean sat beside him with a shy smile and noticed Cas was also smiling when he looked up.

"I, uhm… I'd like to talk about our expectancies. What we want from this relationship.” Castiel continued. “And expose any boundaries existent between us."

"Okay." Dean nodded fiercely.

"I'd like to start with the clarification that we are in a relationship." Castiel turned to the side and placed both legs on the bed, folding them, and then smiled. "I was going to ask, but you already answered that indirectly at the door."

Dean lowered his head with a small smile, heat spreading up to his face.

"I'm glad you said that, Dean.” Castiel confessed. “I'm not sure how to deal with some things and how to act, and that's really frustrating... I need _your_ help."

"To be honest, I thought a lot about this, Cas." Dean shrugged and pursed his lips. "I'm so freaking scared to rush into things, or do something that's off-limits for you."

Castiel nodded, stroking Dean's forearm that was supporting his body on the bed.

"’Cause I really want this... _us_." Dean whispered.

"I want us too, Dean. That is why we need to talk."

Dean looked into his eyes and sat over one of his legs, making himself more comfortable.

"I will be completely honest and open about what I want. I hope you can be too." Castiel continued with a little apprehension on his voice. "I want a future, Dean. And you're the only person I've ever had any interest on."

"God knows you're the only person I've had real feelings for in the last decade, Cas." Dean took a deep breath. "And I have no interest in having feelings for anyone else."

Castiel sighed in relief. "I'm happy to hear that." He said with a smile, already feeling calmer. "Uhm... what I expect from this relationship is trust and honesty above everything else. I also want freedom to be able to tell you if something is not right for me."

"That's good. I want to be honest." Dean nodded biting the tip of his thumb. "I want us to be able to say what we're enjoying or not, even if I'm not used to doing that."

"Yes! And we can work on that." Castiel cheered, taking both of Dean's hands in his. "And now limits... how do you feel about expressing affection in public?"

Dean took a deep breath, considering. "I'm not used to it..." He said, raising his lips in a smile. "But it's you, Cas. I think holding hands or maybe kissing is not a problem. You’re a really great kisser, by the way."

Cas smiled and his cheeks immediately became pink.

"Very well..." He replied, trying to contain his satisfaction. "I have no problems with that. You are free to touch me and express your affection in public the way you find more comfortable." He said sincerely.

"Just one more thing." Dean swallowed thick, feeling that if he didn't say what was on his mind, he would probably find himself in a nervous combustion soon. "I don't wanna base on what other people do to act when it comes to us."

"What do you mean?" Castiel frowned.

"I don't wanna have to worry about if it's _right_ to kiss you on the doorstep of your house the day after our first date." Dean stood up and walked around, waving his arms and staring from the fireplace to the dresser, but never glancing toward Cas. "And I don't like being afraid to go too fast and end up pushing you away."

"Going too fast wouldn't push me away, Dean."

"Cas, no... you don't understand." Dean ran his hands through his hair frantically, feeling the wall trying to build itself up again.

"Then explain it to me." Castiel asked, leaning his body forward and trying to get Dean's eyes. "Honesty, remember?"

Taking a deep breath, Dean stopped pacing. "I'm afraid to go too fast and push you into something you don't wanna do." He said quickly, his voice barely above a murmur. "I know your experience with that reaper bitch was terrible and I don't want you to do something that will end up hurting your feelings and being awful."

"Dean, that..." Cas said in a whisper. His head lowered for a second, but he immediately got up and walked closer to Dean. "I trust you." He said, staring into Dean's eyes. "I have received two invitations for dates in the past months, Dean, but I didn’t accept... because I didn’t trust them and because I only have feelings for you. I know you're not going to pressure me and I also know you'd _never_ hurt me deliberately."

Dean nodded, absorbing the importance of Cas' words.

" _I trust you_.” Cas repeated, the corner of his lips rising in a smile as he held Dean’s hands. “I really want us to have our intimacy… you don’t have to worry about that. I dealt with everything."

Again, Dean only nodded, this time relieved. "Thank you for understanding… and I’m really sorry for never talking to you about what happened."

"That’s okay… thank you for thinking about my well-being now.” Cas said and kissed Dean on the lips. He wrapped both arms around Dean’s neck. “What do you think about spending some nights here during the week?"

"Hmm, sounds good." Dean smiled, hugging Castiel's ribs and kissing him back. “I don’t think we should keep waiting to see if we’re going to work or whatever, we like each other and that’s good enough for me.” He said and Cas nodded.

Maybe letting their walls fall wouldn't be so bad, after all.

For long minutes they continued to kiss tenderly. Their bodies against the old wooden dresser.

"We should go back to the kitchen." Castiel said between quick kisses. "Sam shouldn't be doing all the work alone."

Dean grunted against Cas' lips, longing for more touches before they had even parted. "Fine. But I'll send him home right after lunch. No board games today."

"Does that mean you're staying with me tonight?" Castiel pushed Dean's body slightly, reaching his hands and holding firmly to them. "Don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"I don't have to go..." Dean shrugged and then huffed a laugh. "Brad said if I don't take the week off he'll discount money from my paycheck for each day I show up at the garage."

"Well although it is Brad's opinion, I agree... you work too much." Castiel said vehemently, then softened his voice. "And I’d like to have you around more often.”

Cas released one of Dean's hands and pulled him to the door.

"Wait!" Dean said, preventing Castiel from opening the door. "Everything's settled now?”

"Yes. Everything's settled." Castiel assured him with a smile, already turning to leave the room. Dean, however, stood between him and the door and immediately pressed their lips together again, stealing one last kiss before they returned to the kitchen and shared lunch with Sam.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi *giggles*

 

The movies they chose to see weren’t really watched.

As soon as Sam returned to the bunker Castiel and Dean finished cleaning the kitchen, and right after that, they adjusted the retractable sofa to have more space to lie down and snuggle up together.

Dean placed both arms around Cas’ body and his hands gently caressed Cas’ chest. He felt every time Castiel shivered, and Dean passed through the same reflex instantly.

Halfway through the first movie Castiel had already turned his back to the TV and, with his legs between Dean's, they kissed serenely. Roaming each other's lips and tongues, stealing sighs and soft moans, mentally taking notes of any signs of delight for future references.

"You smell so good." Castiel whispered with the tip of his nose brushing the length of Dean's neck. "I never said that... but I always noticed and it always pleased me."

Dean took some time to process Cas' words, probably because of the small touches of warm lips that were being left on his skin. "Hm." He murmured, tightening his arms around Castiel and smiling. "And you smell like honey and lavender."

"And you like that?" Cas asked, a little surprised.

"I love that." Dean said and tried to get even closer to Castiel's body to emphasize his words.

"I will keep that in mind, then." Castiel smiled and kissed Dean once more.

They were at a point where they didn't know what they were saying anymore, the tranquility being overwhelming. The words were simply vocalized, dragged and whispered along the skin, leaving lazy kisses along the way. Mouths not wanting to move away and break contact. Hands exploring the small spaces of skin available.

Castiel slightly pulled his face away from Dean and noticed that it had already darkened outside. "It's already dark." He said, caressing the side of Dean’s face and ear. "Why don't you go and take a shower while I cook something for dinner?"

Dean nodded, but didn’t move.

"Dean?" Castiel called, softly.

"Yes." Dean answered without opening his eyes.

"You need to let me go." Castiel laughed, his upper body shaking against Dean’s.

Dean seemed to wake up from a dream, opening his eyes and arms, smiling. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize." Cas sat up and shrugged, tilting his head to the side. "I’m enjoying being so close to you. It’s nice being able to kiss you and touch you… I’ve wanted that for a long time."

"Me too." Dean whispered, looking away.

Castiel smiled and brought his hand to Dean's face again, turning it so that their eyes met. "I'm going to the kitchen, make yourself at home." He said and kissed Dean one last time before getting up.

Dean sat and watched Cas' awkward walk to the kitchen. He got up too, and when he passed by the kitchen door, he noticed as Castiel discreetly adjusted the front of his pants before washing his hands and going to the fridge.

Unable to contain a laugh, Dean went to the guest bedroom having to adjust his own hard-on to be able to walk properly.

Minutes later, as the hot water ran down his back, Dean realized that he'd actually just spent the whole afternoon hugging Castiel in an intense make out session. Panic gave his first sign of life, so Dean had to take several deep breaths and repeat to himself that this was what he wanted, and that getting involved with Cas had been his choice and desire.

He kept thinking and breathing deeply. A sudden cloud of doubts forming around his head and making everything confused again. The wall constantly trying to build itself higher and higher.

 _"I want us too, Dean."_ Castiel's words came to his thoughts, and Dean calmed himself, leaning his head against the wall and finally relaxing.

 

***

 

The seasoning aroma spread through the house in minutes.

Dean walked slowly to the kitchen entrance and leaned against the doorframe, watching the black-haired man slide back and forth as he hummed a tune.

"Dean." Castiel said, and Dean could feel the smile in his voice.

"Hmm." Dean answered, also smiling.

"Are you staring at me?" Cas turned around and leaned against the counter, squinting his eyes.

"No." Dean said and couldn't hold back a bigger grin.

Dean then walked to Castiel and hugged him tightly, stealing a gasp of surprise from him. Cas hugged him back and rested his head on Dean's shoulder, stroking his back.

"Your turn to take a shower." Dean said as he released Cas. "I can finish this."

"Oh, don't worry." Castiel dismissed him, shaking his head and pushing Dean to the side with the side of his hip. “I can take a shower before bed.”

"Cas. Please." Dean asked and took the knife from Cas' hands.

"Okay." Cas sighed and took the cloth hanging from his shoulder to put it on the counter.

Dean smiled smugly to him before approaching the stove to check the frying burgers.

"I'll be right back." Cas said.

Minutes later Castiel stepped under the water and instantly closed his eyes. The events of the last couple of days passed in his mind like a fast movie.

Dean was really talking, talking about feelings and trying to get closer to him. Even bigger than that was the fact that they were in a real relationship. He and Dean were _dating_.

Castiel wasn't sure how to thank Dean for being so open about everything and so receptive to their conversations so far. He was sure that it couldn't be easy, especially after spending so many years avoiding any kind of real conversation about emotions.

Sam had told him once that Dean would "get his shit together eventually” and would want something. But after so many misunderstandings, confusions and near-death experiences, Castiel drowned those words and came to believe that Dean wanted nothing with him, and that his feelings were purely of brotherhood and partnership.

He wanted to thank Dean as soon as possible... _It doesn't hurt to try._ , he thought, remembering Dean saying that during a case.

Cas finished his bath and went to every room closing the curtains and open windows, and then went to the kitchen to find everything inside the dishwasher and all the counters clean.

"Dean?" He called, looking around.

"Living Room!" Dean shouted back.

Castiel narrowed his eyes and went to him. Dean was sitting on the couch, on the coffee table the hamburgers and two beers were set.

"I'm starving." Dean said and tapped the couch beside him so that Cas would sit too.

"You didn't have to wait for me, then." Castiel said, sitting down and caressing Dean’s thigh in thanks.

"Nah... I wanted to." Dean smiled.

While Castiel searched for Indiana Jones in the catalog, Dean ate one of the burgers. Cas laughed to himself at the emergency Dean was feeling to feed, and remembered that during the afternoon neither of them had thought about getting up to eat.

Cas picked up a hamburger and handed Dean another, sitting closer to him. Dean didn't hesitate to snuggle next to Cas, and as soon as they finished eating, they were already lying down and hugging in the same way they spent the afternoon.

Soon Castiel fell asleep. Dean's caresses in his hair and the warmth of the body against his back were stronger than the will to see Harrison Ford’s adventures. Dean tightened his hold on Cas' body and after leaving a few kisses on the back of his neck, he rested his head beside Cas', drifting off in minutes.

About an hour and a half later, the ringing of the phone began to reverberate around the house.

"What?" Castiel said startled, waking up suddenly.

The phone rang again, and Cas finally understood what was happening. He got up and out of the couch, waking Dean up in the process, and ran to the kitchen just in time to answer the call.

"Hello." He said breathlessly.

Dean sat up and stretched out his arms, yawning.

"Patrick." Castiel sighed and Dean turned to see him lean his head against the wall. "Yes, my double shift is tomorrow." He took a deep breath, sounding frustrated. "Yes. Kylee works for two hours tomorrow but she isn’t back, yet."

Dean got up and walked closer to him.

"Oh." Cas lifted his head, his face in surprise. "Uhm, I believe so... no, Patrick. No problem." Castiel smiled and Dean moved even closer, his eyebrows raised in question. Cas raised his hand, silently asking him to wait.

"Alright. Next Wednesday, then?" He asked and nodded. "Thank you... yes it is a deal. Good evening."

"Everything okay?" Dean asked as Castiel placed the phone back on the wall.

"Yes." Cas said, and turned to grab both of Dean's hands in his. "Patrick wanted to switch his double shift with mine."

Dean nodded.

"Which means I won't be working tomorrow." Cas finished with a smile, eliciting one from Dean.

"Awesome." Dean said, hugging Castiel's waist and leaving a kiss on his lips. "We can start working on the yard like you said you wanted."

"Hm." Castiel replied, kissing Dean once more. "Or we could stay in bed."

"That sounds like a great idea, too." Dean laughed and hugged him tight. _It gets easier and easier._ , he immediately thought.

"It's almost eleven now." Cas informed, stroking Dean's arms with his fingertips. "Do you want to watch something else? Or would you rather go to bed?"

"I think if we watch anything else we'll end up sleeping." Dean considered. "Shit... we're old."

Laughing, Castiel shook his head and went back to the living room. He turned off the tv and checked to see if the window was closed. Dean poured water in two glasses and left them on the table. He locked the doors on the kitchen and checked the window even though he knew it was locked.

Castiel reappeared in the kitchen and picked the glasses.

It was like hitting a switch. They were both behaving just like they used to behave every other time Dean spent the weekend in Cas’ house: awkwardly.

Dean didn't know if it was implied that he would sleep in Cas' room, or if he should go to the guest room as usual. And Cas didn’t know if Dean wanted to sleep on his bed with him or in the guest room, having his privacy.

"Why don't you get your things and then go to my room?" Castiel suggested, fortunately breaking the strangeness and hoping Dean wouldn’t back out.

Dean nodded and went to the guest room in fast strides. Breathing quickly, he picked up his emergency pajamas since he wasn't sure if Cas would feel comfortable with him sleeping in his bed only in underwear. He held everything against his chest and walked slowly. The only light on the house was the one on Castiel's room down the hall.

 _So much for light on the end of the tunnel, huh?_ , he thought and laughed to himself.

Dean stopped at the door and noticed that Cas was in the shared bathroom between the rooms brushing his teeth. He stood there, waiting for any instructions.

Minutes later Castiel appeared at the door and smiled. "There's an empty drawer in the dresser." He said, opening the last drawer. "You can put your things here for now.”

Nodding, Dean placed his thing there and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He listened to the low sounds of the bed being prepared. Through the mirror, he saw the moment Cas went to the closet and took out two more pillows and a thick blanket.

When Dean returned to the room Castiel was starting to undress.

"I'll leave a blanket on the floor along with two extra pillows. Feel free to accommodate yourself the way you want." He said, his back turned to Dean as he pulled off his sweatpants to dress his pajamas.

Dean nodded even though Cas couldn't see it. His eyes were fixed on the way the bones and muscles on Cas' back oscillated and flexed.

Swallowing thick, Dean returned to reality and also began to take off his pants to dress the pajamas that he'd never worn before. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Cas walked to the bed and sat on the left side.

"Do you mind if I sleep on the left side?" Cas asked as Dean removed his shirt.

"No." Dean shrugged. Maybe someday he would have the guts to tell Cas about how he felt that everything was right for them to be together, and everything had always been right.

He left the shirt inside the drawer and closed it, turning around and noticing that Cas' eyes were fixed on him just as his own were fixed on Cas' back a few moments earlier.

"I usually sleep on the right side of the bed." Dean whispered and walked to the door to close it and turn off the lights. As Dean touched the switch, he saw that Cas had turned on the two lamps above the bed and now the bedroom was washed in yellowish shadows... it was kind of romantic.

Dean walked over to the bed, pulled the blanket and laid under it. Castiel remained seated for some time, following Dean's movements with his eyes, watching him turning to the side with his back to the middle of the bed.

Neither of them would be able to explain the reason for such strangeness. They had just spent the whole afternoon together on the couch between kisses and hugs, getting up with a huge discomfort in their pants and now they were afraid of sharing a bed?

Castiel sighed and slid under the covers. He stretched out his arm behind the headboard and switched off both lamps, leaving the room illuminated only by the moon outside. For several minutes, their agitated breaths were the only noise in the room besides the clock on the dresser.

Their eyes were wide. Minds in a whirlwind. Hearts pounding irregularly. Fingers longing for any touch.

“Dean.” Castiel whispered, staring at the back of Dean's neck.

"Cas." Dean answered in the same volume.

"Why aren't you touching me anymore?"

Dean turned his head to look at Cas. "Uhm..." He muttered. "I..."

"Did I do something wrong?" Cas asked with concern before he gasped in realization. "Oh, you wanted to sleep in your room, didn’t you?"

"No, Cas! No..." Dean turned around completely.

Castiel reached behind the bed and turned on the light above Dean’s side.

"I don't know how you behave at bedtime, so I guess I was trying to give you space." Dean explained.

"I don't want space." Castiel said, frowning a little. "I want you."

"I'm right here." Dean sighed in relief and brought his body closer to Cas’.

As their bodies touched, Dean felt Castiel's breath against his cheek so he reached out to embrace his upper body and led his lips to find Cas' and seal them in a kiss.

It was clearly different from the living room kisses because it deepened quickly. Perhaps because they were in bed, shirtless and their hands were roaming each other’s chests and backs with obvious need.

When their legs tangled together and their hips got closer, Dean unconsciously bit Cas' lower lip and was rewarded with a low dragged moan from him. Cas' fingers squeezed Dean's arm and shoulder.

"Dean." Castiel said and Dean kissed him again. His hands were on Cas' lower back and chest, trying hard not to scratch the perfect skin. "I want you to touch me." Cas requested, already breathless and with a hoarse voice.

Dean backed off slightly, staring into Cas' eyes in surprise. "Uhm..." He swallowed thick.

"Yes, I am sure." Castiel said with a fond smile before Dean could ask.

Dean's lips also formed a smile and he kissed Cas intensely again. Amid the rhythm of their hands and lips, Dean climbed over Cas' pelvis and immediately felt how hard Cas was getting.

Castiel’s hands went to Dean's back, slowly massaging his shoulder blades with the tips of his fingers. Dean lowered his hips and slightly thrusted them against Cas', causing him to break the kiss and moan in complete delight. Dean took the moment to relish on the perfect way Cas' lips were parted, and how his features were of pure bliss. His ego grew with the thought that _he_ was able to do that.

"Dean, I..." Cas pleaded, looking for words on his suddenly blank mind.

"Yeah, Cas." Dean encouraged, kissing his neck. "Tell me."

"I need..." Castiel said and sighed in annoyance. "I need _you_."

Cas' hands went from Dean's hair to his ass in a swift movement. After squeezing it, his fingers slid inside the two layers of fabric Dean was wearing, touching the soft skin and squeezing it again. Dean groaned and kept stimulating Cas' neck, moving his lips through his collarbone and getting to his chest soon later.

Cas' breaths were short and heavy, and he struggled to take Dean's pants off without moving too much and risking the detachment of the warm lips from his skin. He wasn't successful, though, because Dean lifted his own body and took off his pants and underwear to make things easier. Once his eyes noticed the curves of Cas' hips hiding under the waistband of his pants, Dean couldn't fight the urge he felt to kiss them. He lowered himself and kissed the velvety skin while pulling off Cas' pajamas and boxer briefs slowly.

Castiel sighed deeply and closed his eyes. Dean's hands slid from his hipbones up to his chest and his fingers wandered over Cas' nipples, caressing them. Dean noticed that Cas' cock throbbed with the stimulation, and despite his momentary desire to bring him pleasure with his mouth, he decided that they could do that some other time.

While straddling Cas' pelvis again Dean kissed his lips with passion, showing him everything he still wasn't able to say out loud. Cas brought his hands to Dean's head and ran his fingers through the soft hair.

Skin directly touched skin for the first time and they gasped in delight into each other’s mouths. There was so much to say... but neither of them seemed to be able to make their vocal cords work, so they kept focusing on the intense feelings.

Dean moved his hips gently against Cas' and they moaned together, noises mixed in a searing kiss. While biting Cas' lip, Dean reached between their bodies and held their members together in his hand, immediately feeling and spreading the pre-come for better motion.

"Oh, Dean..." Castiel's voice was husky, and a shiver ran through Dean's back. Cas untangled one of his hands from Dean's hair to help with the movements between their bodies.

Their mouths met again and Dean sped the strokes, trying to get to the edge faster despite how amazing everything felt. "Hmm, Cas... I'm close." Dean whispered, not having any control over his thoughts and words anymore. He'd wanted that for so long... little did he know that Castiel had wanted that for even longer.

Cas turned his head slightly to the side and nuzzled Dean's cheek, his mouth open and his mind fighting the constant urge to moan Dean's name aloud. Their hands worked together, alternating the speed and pressure as if they had done that a million times before. The feeling of skin on skin was absolutely perfect and soft, if seemed _right_.

Dean kissed Cas' cheek and neck repeatedly, moving their hands fast a couple more times before finding Cas’ lips and giving him one last lingering kiss before they both climaxed, moaning quietly against each other’s cheeks.

Their hands stopped moving and short gasps took over their breaths. Castiel let go of Dean's hair and positioned his clean hand between their bodies, slightly waving it and making the mess go away.

"I don't really have much grace left." Castiel whispered slowly, lips moving against Dean’s cheek. "But it's enough to prevent us from getting up now."

"You didn't have to." Dean answered fondly, shifting to lay by Cas' side again. "You should save your mojo for emergencies."

Castiel smiled and reached for Dean's hand under the blankets after turning off the light. "I really enjoyed what we just did." He said a couple seconds later.

“Yeah?” Dean couldn't hide the happiness in his voice. "Me too." He squeezed Cas' fingers, already dozing off. "And there's much more left to try."

"I'm glad we have a lot of free time, then." Castiel said and leaned forward to brush his nose against Dean's before kissing him quickly. "Sleep well, Dean."

"Night, babe." Dean answered, the huge smile glued to his face.

 

 

*** 

 

 

I forgot to give you guys the images for Cas' house and bedroom on the last chapter so here they are:


	9. Chapter 9

 

The sunlight was weak coming through the window, the drizzle clouds suppressing its power.

Dean was laying on his side, one arm resting across Cas' chest. Castiel's head was turned toward Dean, his face constantly frowned and his hair even more messy than usual.

When Dean opened his eyes, he shifted until he was laying on his back. Without noticing, he kept watching the lines on Cas' face, itching to touch the soft skin and never let go. Dean realized he was naked and suddenly all the events from the previous evening rushed into his mind. He had sex with Cas. His best friend Cas. His _buddy_. Because now they were in a relationship and he was pretty sure he called Cas “babe” before he fell asleep.

His breathing quickened and panic boiled in his gut.

Dean pressed the tips of his fingers on both his eyes. _No reason to panic._ , he thought, _Cas asked me to touch him, Cas was into it. Fuck, I was into it. I have to cut the crap._

After taking several deep breaths Dean looked at Cas again, his frown seemed even more intense, as if he could sense Dean’s distress. And maybe he could.

Dean got up and quietly used the bathroom, washed his face and then went to the kitchen after putting on his pajama pants. He took all the utensils to prepare the coffee Cas was very fond of and used the time to calm himself. After that, he walked back to the bedroom with the smell of fresh coffee following him.

Cas was still asleep. With a smile, Dean approached the bed, climbed on it and nuzzled his nose on Cas' stubble, kissing his cheek and then his lips softly.

"Morning, sunshine." He whispered and kissed Cas’ lips again.

Castiel stirred and sighed deeply. Dean leaned his head back to appreciate the moment the cerulean eyes opened and blinked to get used to the light.

It took Cas almost a minute to really wake up. "Morning, Dean." His lips formed a smile and he reached to hold Dean's neck and bring him down for a real kiss. Cas’ hands were warm on Dean’s cold skin, his body heat contagious and addictive.

“How come you don’t have morning breath?” Dean asked and laughed slightly. “Did I just hit the jackpot?”

“Maybe.” Castiel answered, laughing too. “I’ve been using the little bit of my grace for things like keep my hair from growing too much. Oh, and shave properly because I still can’t do it right by myself… but I suppose there are other things I can do with it now.”

Dean nodded, eyes wondering from Cas’ hair to his eyes and then lips. “Well, I made you coffee.” He mumbled.

“Hm. That sounds very good.” Cas answered. “But I think I want to kiss you more before getting up.”

Dean leaned in and smiled against Cas’ lips, adjusting his body until he was laying by Cas’ side, one hand on the angel’s bare hip and the other on his chest.

Before losing himself to the touches again, Castiel remembered that he wanted to talk to Dean. “Dean.” He said between kisses. “I… I have something to say.”

Dean separated their lips and focused on Cas’ eyes. “Uhm, sure. What is it?”

“I need to thank you.” Castiel said and Dean frowned, so he reached to caress his cheek. “Thank you for being so receptive about us being together. I know you’re not used to all of this… and I know it’s not nice of me to say, but I was afraid you would leave me this morning because we had intercourse.”

“Well I’m not exactly known for long term relationships.” Dean answered with a huffed laugh, avoiding Cas’ eyes.

“But that doesn’t justify my thinking behavior.” Cas’ voice was steady and Dean looked at him. “I should’ve known better after we talked yesterday. I am very sorry Dean, please forgive me.”

“It’s okay, Cas.” Dean smiled. “To be honest I am dealing with some panic shit… internally for now.”

“Please talk to me if you need. I am here for you.” Castiel kissed Dean’s lips, still caressing his face.

Dean nodded and tightened his hand on Cas’ hip, kissing him back.

“Can we do what we did last night one more time?” Castiel whispered.

“Whenever you want.” Dean answered, feeling his chest pumping and blood rushing everywhere.

Castiel started moving to stay above Dean. “Wait… I wanna do something different.” Dean said, holding Cas’ chest and leading him back onto the bed. “You trust me?”

“Always.” Castiel said with meaningful eyes and for a second, Dean forgot everything he was thinking.

Dean smiled and kissed Cas again. He took his own pants off and pushed the blankets down their bodies so he could straddle Cas’ pelvis easier and with no restrictions. Dean kissed all over Cas’ jaw, neck and clavicle, only stopping to bite gently on both collarbones.

They were both half-hard and breathless with the simple stimulation. Everything was too much after all the tension time they’ve lived throughout the years.

Cas couldn't help sighing and repeating Dean's name in low moans. His hands gripped the curves of Dean's neck, fingertips lightly roaming the skin and sending shivers down Dean's spine. The touches went down Cas’ chest. Kisses, licks and gentle bites were left all over his nipples and stomach while Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, almost massaging his scalp.

Dean stopped before touching the thick scar above Cas’ tattoo. He lifted his eyes and touched it carefully, searching for reactions on Cas’ face. “Does it hurt?” He asked.

“Not anymore.” Cas shook his head slightly, looking back at him. “It used to be extremely painful, though.”

“I’m sorry.” Dean whispered and kissed the scar.

Cas shivered and caressed Dean’s ear. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He said, breathless.

Dean ran his finger over the lightly crooked line and kissed it one more time.

The divine hips were right there again and Dean couldn't ignore them any longer. Both hands were glued to the soft skin instantly, caressing, massaging and kissing with need. Cas' hands left Dean’s hair to grip the pillow under his own head.

Dean experimentally kissed the tip of Cas' cock and was rewarded with a loud moan. Taking the head in his mouth, he tried to focus on all his best tricks to please Cas, but the sounds he was listening were too lustful to be ignored. He used one of his hands to squeeze the muscular thigh by his side while the other stimulated the part he still couldn't reach with his mouth. He’d noticed how big Cas was the night before and even though he was unsure if he could do it, he needed to try and do his best.

Looking up, Dean saw that Cas' eyes were closed tight and his lips were slightly parted. He licked the underside of Cas’ length while catching his breath to go further on.

Every cell on Cas’ body was on fire. It felt like pure electricity was running through his veins. The feeling was addicting and he couldn’t wait to make Dean feel the same way.

When Dean started bobbing his head, he moved his tongue on the slit after almost every movement. Cas' hands left the pillow as he loudly moaned Dean's name, now griping the sheets.

Dean let go of Cas’ thigh and reached for his hand to intertwine their fingers. Cas’ eyes popped open and he looked down at Dean. Another wave of pleasure got hold of him with the view and his head fell back against the pillows almost as if he was fainting.

"Dean." Cas breathed, his voice husky. "It feels _so_ good." The sound of his voice and the way his hips were lightly pushing up caused Dean’s painfully hard cock to throb.

Dean moaned and the vibration increased the pleasure Cas was feeling. “I think I'm...” Cas whispered, out of breath.

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand to assure him he could let go. And Cas did... a loud moan coming from his throat and his hips thrusting up one last time as sparks flew behind his eyelids. Dean swallowed everything he could and licked the rest, kissing along the length to bring Cas down slowly.

Cas let go of Dean’s hand to hold his shoulders and bring him up for a kiss. “I want to do that for you… soon.” He said against Dean’s mouth. He wasn’t going to say it, but he felt like he needed to do some research before trying.

“You don’t have to do anything.” Dean answered, reaching to hug him. “Don’t worry, babe.”

Castiel smiled big. “Babe?” He said, kissing Dean and getting hold of his cock, stroking leisurely. “I like that.”

“Hmm, really?” Dean asked, kissing him back and squeezing his moving arm. “I wasn’t sure you would.”

“Now you are.” Cas whispered, his voice hoarse.

“Fuck.” Dean whispered back. “Hmm, so hot.”

Their kisses where open mouthed and full of desire. Cas increased the speed of his strokes only to decrease it seconds later, teasing Dean with all he got.

“Cas, I’m close.” Dean said, breathing heavily after Cas massaged the slit of his cock and spread the pre-come all along his length. “ _Please_ , don’t slow down.”

Cas complied and sped his movements slightly, causing Dean to come with his breath hitched in his throat, preventing him from saying anything. While kissing Dean’s neck and nuzzling his cheek, Cas snuggled closer as Dean came down from his high.

“So good to me, Cas.” Dean whispered, running his hand through Cas’ back, squeezing his ass and kissing the side of his face.

“I already didn’t want to get up, you can imagine now…” Cas said, laughing.

Dean grinned and lifted Cas’ face gently, brushing his lips against Cas’ before stealing a full kiss.

“Your lips are very soft.” Cas commented and passed his clean fingertips on Dean’s bottom lip. “I would love to kiss them forever.”

“Alright, if we want to do anything today other than sex we have to get up… _now_.” Dean said, trying to hold a laugh. “I’m getting a hint you weren’t joking about the bed all day thing.”

“Of course I wasn’t.” Cas frowned, shaking his head.

Dean didn't manage to hold any longer, so both his and Cas’ body shook with laughter for a while.

“But we should get up nonetheless…” Cas said, poking Dean’s cheek. “We’re sticky and you must be hungry.”

“Starving.” Dean’s eyes widened.

“Then you should go and take a shower while I prepare something.” Castiel suggested, getting up and stopping himself while he looked around. “Where are my pants?” He asked, frowning again.

“Uhm.” Dean sat and after thinking for a second, laid across the bed to reach the floor by Cas’ side of the bed. “Here.”

Cas took his pants and quickly put them on. Dean’s eyes watching him the whole time.

“Do you want pancakes or toasts?” Cas asked, ignoring the heat running up his neck and cheeks.

“I wanted you here again but my damn mouth just said we should get up.” Dean smiled, a little embarrassed.

Grinning, Cas kneeled on the bed and kissed Dean on the lips before going into the bathroom.

After cleaning himself up and washing his face, Castiel stared at himself on the mirror and noticed the bags under his eyes were getting lighter and slowly disappearing.

He knew it was because he'd stopped hunting and dealing with heaven and hell. And even though he missed his wings, he couldn't go back to the endless unnecessary suffering that being a full angel used to bring him emotionally. All the hours he spent worrying about Dean and Sam's protection. Everything he'd done thinking he was on the right path. He couldn't go back to that, especially after failing so many times.

He did still worry about Dean and Sam all the time. The thing was that now, as almost entirely human, he had other necessities to worry about and he had to pursue them first.

And he was fine.

Working his shifts at the store, coming home and cooking dinner for himself and lunch for the following day, sometimes watching the news before bed and reading a lot. It was calm and pleasing. Also Dean came to visit him on weekends and... _oh, Dean_.

Castiel's pulse quickened and he swallowed thick. Dean was just outside the bathroom door... naked... on his bed.

That wasn't a very wise application of what he'd said about being away to avoid causing any harm.

 _"Things are calm now! Easier!"_ Dean had said on their date… But what if?

 _"Bad things are over, Cas."_ Well, but what i…?

 _"...making memories together is better than regretting never doing anything."_ Cas remembered and nodded to himself, taking a deep breath.

“Cas?” Dean called. “You okay?”

“Yes.” Cas answered, finally drying his face. “I’m fine.” He came out of the bathroom smiling at Dean, who was sitting now, concern all over his face.

Castiel couldn’t leave that man if he wanted.

“You didn't say if you want pancakes or toasts.” Cas said, getting closer to the bed and sitting by Dean’s side.

“Uhm.” Dean considered, still studying Cas’ face. “Toasts. Sure you’re okay?”

Castiel nodded, widening his eyes a little. “Yes. Don’t worry about me.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “You know that’s not possible.”

Smiling, Cas leaned in to kiss him. Their fingertips tangled together above the sheets.

“I was just overthinking. But I am fine.” Cas assured him, and with a final kiss he got up and went to his closet to get a t-shirt.

Dean followed him with his eyes. “Next time you start overthinking, we can, uh, you know… talk about it.” He shrugged.

Cas turned around and nodded sincerely. “Your towel is in there.” He said after a few seconds.

“Okay. I’ll be right out.” Dean smiled and got up, running to the bathroom.

Castiel went to the kitchen and started preparing the table. The moment he put the bread in the toaster there was a knock on the door. Frowning, he wiped his hands and looked through the glass on the kitchen door. He couldn't see the doorstep from there, so he walked out of the kitchen towards the front door.

There was a second knock. “Hold on.” He said, reaching the handle and opening the door.

Sam was there. A messenger bag across his body and a smile on his face.

“Hey, Cas. Morning.” He said, waving and then closing the blue umbrella he was holding.

“Good morning, Sam.” Castiel answered. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh yes, yes.” He said, nodding frantically. “Don’t worry. It’s just that Dean said he was going to take me to my final interview today.”

“Of course. Please, come inside.” Castiel stepped back. “Dean is taking a shower.”

“I guess you guys are okay, then.” Sam said, while walking to the kitchen. “He was pretty nervous about going out with you, you know?”

“Well, we both are a little nervous about everything.” Cas said, adding a third cup and plate on the table. “But spending time together is being really helpful.”

“I’m happy for you guys, and I’m sure you’ll work out just fine.” The toasts jumped and Cas put others in its place.

“Thank you Sam.” Cas stopped his activities and looked at him, heartfelt. “And I am sure you’ll do great in your interview. You are very intelligent and capable.”

Sam snorted in disbelief.

“You don’t seem very happy.” Castiel squinted his eyes while he placed the plate with the toasts on the table and sat.

“Well, this is a huge step for me and sometimes I… sometimes I think I’m not able of live a “normal life”, you know?” Sam shrugged. “I keep having these nightmares… some creature shows up in my classroom and kills all the kids.” Sam closed his eyes and shook his head. “It's really awful.”

“I am so sorry Sam.” Cas said, reaching across the table and touching Sam’s forearm. “In my opinion you shouldn’t keep yourself from trying a better life only because of these bad dreams.”

“Bad dreams used to be premonitions a while back…” Sam whispered.

“Oh… but we’ll work that out. Don’t you worry. I am certain that these nightmares will stop.” Castiel assured him, retrieving his hand as other toasts jumped. “Right now you only need to focus on your interview and do your best. We can work your bad dreams out later.”

Sam smiled. “Thanks Cas.” He mumbled. “I’m really happy to have you around again. It’s not the same without you.”

Castiel froze and swallowed thick. Talking about that was still painful.

“No problem, Sam.” He turned around to put more toasts on the table. “Have you had breakfast?”

“Hm, no.” Sam smiled bashfully.

“Well then, please eat.” Cas waved his hand to indicate the food on the table. “You shouldn’t go to your interview with an empty stomach.”

Sam nodded and reached for a couple of toasts.

“Cas.” Dean called from the hallway, his voice approaching. “Someone was at the door? I thought I heard a… Sam?”

“Hey.” Sam said with his mouth full and a smirk.

“Uhm… what are you doing here?” Dean asked, brows furrowing.

“It’s October 16th, Dean… You said you would take me to my final interview?” Sam raised his eyebrows accusingly. “When I realized you forgot that and probably wouldn’t show up I decided to come over.”

“Sorry man… I totally forgot.” Dean shrugged, sitting down. “There’s a lot of cars on the bunker, why didn’t you just get one?”

“Oh, I uhm…” Sam looked at the window, away from Dean and Cas’ eyes. “Didn’t really think about that.”

“Dean can drive you, Sam.” Cas placed more toasts on the table and rested his hands on Dean’s shoulders, standing behind him. “I’m sure he doesn’t mind.”

“Not at all.” Dean said, spreading jam on a toast. “Or you can take baby, I won’t work today.”

Cas rolled his eyes. Clearly Sam was insecure about going alone and needed his brother’s support.

“Sure.” Sam mumbled.

Cas sat by Dean’s side and started preparing a toast for himself. The three of them chatted and laughed, until Sam checked his watch and sighed.

“I should probably get going… The interview is in an hour and I really don’t wanna be late.” He got up. “I’ll just go to the bathroom first, excuse me.”

Castiel nodded and smiled. When he heard the bathroom door close, he reached for Dean’s arm. “You should drive him to the school. He’s scared, Dean.”

“What?” Dean laughed. “No he’s not.”

“He told me he is.” Cas explained and Dean’s eyes widened. “Please, go with him.”

“Okay, yeah… I’ll go with him.” Dean nodded and quickly finished drinking his coffee. “The rain seems to be stopping, we’ll work on the yard later? I can go to a store and get what we need.”

“Sure.” Cas answered, also finishing his coffee. “I have some tools in the laundry room but I don’t really know what we’ll need.”

“I’ll dress something else and then I’ll take a look.” Dean patted Cas’ back and went to the guest bedroom to get his clothes.

Castiel got up and took the plates and cups to the sink. He wasn't sure Dean would come over for lunch, but he took some chicken stakes out of the freezer and put them on the microwave to defrost anyway.

“So… I guess I’m going, now.” Sam stepped in the kitchen again and Castiel turned around to look at him. “Drive myself is probably the best choice… if everything goes to shit I can drive off the bridge downtown.” Sam huffed a laugh.

Cas looked at Sam with worry in his eyes. “Dean will drive you, Sam.”

“Oh!” Sam almost yelled, his eyebrows up. “And you’re coming too, right?”

Castiel smiled as he saw how calmer Sam got. “I don’t think so.” He said. “You should share this moment with Dean.”

“Yeah but you’re family, too.” Sam shrugged. “I would like to have you there.”

Castiel pursed his lips and looked outside.

“If it won’t bother you, I could go.” He said and looked at Sam.

“It would never bother me, Cas.” Sam smiled fondly at him and Castiel couldn’t help but smile in return.

“I’ll go change, then.” Castiel said and walked past him. “You can wait on the living room if you want. You know that we have Netflix.”

Dean was leaving the guest bedroom when Cas entered his own room. Dean ran to reach him. “Cas.” He called, knocking on the door.

“Come in.” Cas’ voice came muffled.

“Hey.” Dean said and smiled as he opened the door and saw Cas taking off his shirt next to the closet. “You’re going out, too?”

“Sam said he wants me to go too.” Cas looked at Dean and suddenly felt apprehensive. “Is that okay?”

“Sure it is. I came here to ask if you wanted to go.” Dean smiled and got closer to hug Cas from behind.

“Do you think there’s enough time for me to take a shower?” Cas asked, reaching for a t-shirt and jeans from the closet, as well as underwear and socks.

“Uhm.” Dean lifted his arm from Cas waist and looked at the watch on his wrist. “40 minutes until Sam’s interview and it only takes 10 to get there, so yes.”

Cas nodded and felt the gentle kiss Dean left on the back of his neck.

“Mind if I brush my teeth while you take a shower?” Dean asked and kissed him again.

“No.” Cas shrugged and Dean let him go. He left his clothes on the bed, walked to the bathroom and started the shower before taking his pajamas and stepping under the water.

“You should let me fix the wires so that we don’t have to wait for the hot water.” Dean said with the toothbrush in his mouth.

“I suppose it would save water.” Castiel considered while soaping his hair.

Dean looked toward the shower and observed the translucent shadow behind the curtain full of small drawings of flamingos.

“Will you ever stop staring?” Cas’ voice woke Dean, so he spat and rinsed his mouth before laughing. “There’s a curtain here for a reason.” Cas continued.

“You gotta know how hard it is to not stare at you, Cas.” Dean said and lowered his head to wash his face and then his hands. “You’re fucking hot.”

Cas huffed a laugh and Dean caught him shaking his head before drying his own face.

“I’ll go check the laundry for the tools you said you have, okay?” Dean asked.

“Sure. They are behind the door, tucked into a big basket.” Cas informed and turned the water off.

Dean hummed in agreement and left. Cas reached for the towel, quickly dried his body and hair and went back to his bedroom. He noticed the bed was tidy. Dean must’ve made it after he showered. _That’s nice._ , Cas thought and smiled.

He got dressed, sat and put his sneakers on, humming the chords of _La Vie En Rose._ Swinging his head to the song, Cas grabbed his wallet and the towel and walked to the laundry to hang it there.

Dean and Sam were in the living room laughing at something on the news.

“I’m ready.” Cas said and both brothers turned their heads to him and got up.

“Let’s go then.” Dean said as he got closer and placed his right arm around Cas, hand on his waist. “Sammy I know you’re nervous but today Cas rides shotgun.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary, I…” Cas started.

“I don’t mind, Cas.” Sam interrupted while he adjusted his bag on his side.

“Minding or not, the driver decides it, so...” Dean shrugged one shoulder and kissed Cas’ cheek.

 

***

 

Fifteen minutes later, Dean was parking in front of the school.

They all looked at it for some seconds and noticed the kids running on the lobby, screaming and laughing. Sam smiled fondly and sighed. “It’s now or never.” He said and opened the door, stepping out of the car.

Dean and Cas did the same.

“You’ll do great, Sam.” Cas assured him when Dean walked around the car and stood by his side. “Remember what I said earlier… you’re intelligent and capable.”

“Yes, dude!” Dean agreed, trying to smile among the emotions on his face. “You’re the smarter kid I know. And you practiced for this.”

“We believe in you.” Castiel said and smiled.

Sam nodded and hugged Cas. “Thanks for being so supportive and coming along, man.”

Castiel hugged him back. “Of course, Sam.” He whispered when Sam let him go.

“Thanks for everything you did for me, Dean.” Sam said as he hugged his brother. “Thank you for always believing and guiding me.”

Dean nodded and huffed a laugh, obviously trying not to cry. “Always loved a chick-flick, huh?” He patted Sam’s shoulder before stepping back. “You go there and do your best. If they say no I’ll go teach them a lesson myself.”

Sam laughed. “Thanks guys.” He adjusted his bag and nodded to himself one last time before walking toward the school.

“Call us when it’s over and we’ll come get you.” Dean screamed and Sam raised his thumb above his head.

Cas got closer to Dean and caressed his arm, both of them leaning against the car.

“Shit he’ll be devastated if he doesn’t get the job.” Dean whispered and placed his hands on his pockets. “And if he gets it, he’s moving out.”

“What?” Cas asked, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“He has a contract for a fancy apartment a couple of blocks from here.” Dean explained, looking away. “If he gets the job he’ll sign it and move out of the bunker.”

“Oh, I didn’t know he was planning to leave.”

“Yeah, well… I would kill him if he didn’t.” Dean smiled weakly and looked at Cas. “I want him to be happy even if it means I’m not around.”

“I’m sure he won’t disappear, Dean.” Cas said and smiled at him, caressing his shoulder. “This is a small town, you’ll be minutes away from each other.”

Dean nodded before walking around the car and getting inside at the same time Cas did.

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

On the hardware store, Dean picked what they’d need and Cas didn’t have at home and placed everything inside a cart. Cas pushed the wheeled object through the hallways, always having a hard time to make it stop, usually going way forward than necessary. Dean couldn’t help but laugh and think he was a cute human just as much as he was a cute angel.

After thirty minutes, they stopped the cart to pay for what they’d got.

“Dean?” A voice called from the counter in front of them.

Dean lifted his eyes from the cart and smiled. “Brad!” He said and waved two of his fingers.

“Glad you didn’t show up to work today.” The middle-aged man continued and laughed. “What are you up to?”

“Oh, just shopping for some tools to help my man out with the yard.” Dean answered and placed his left arm around Cas’ shoulder to pull him close. “This is Cas, by the way. Cas, this is my boss, Bradley.”

Brad nodded towards Cas and eyed him up and down with a fake smile.

“Nice to meet you, Bradley.” Castiel said politely and smiled to the man.

“It’ll be $158, sir.” The cashier in front of Brad said and he looked at her, nodded and handed her a credit card.

“Well, enjoy the week off with your man, Dean.” Bradley said and winked at Dean before taking a bag from the counter and leaving.

Dean let go of Cas when the teenager in front of them said that “it will be $390, sirs”. He smiled at him and paid even though Cas said he should be paying.

They left the store and went back to the car, placed everything on the back seat and then got inside.

“Wanna grab some lunch?” Dean asked as he started the car.

Cas nodded and smiled a little. Dean drove them to a diner and grabbed Cas’ hand as they were walking inside.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked as they checked the menus.

“Sure.” Cas said and looked at Dean, smiling. “Why?”

“You’re kind of quiet.” Dean shrugged and slightly elbowed him. “ _Whole Lotta Love_ played on the radio and you didn’t even sang along.”

“I’m fine.” Castiel assured him, but Dean could see he was lying.

He looked at Cas’ profile and tried to think about what could’ve upset him. A waiter came and took their orders, writing everything down and leaving.

“Is it because I paid for the tools?” Dean asked, completely clueless.

“What?” Castiel answered, confused. “No! Of course not.”

“Then what is it?” Reaching for Cas’ hand, Dean looked him in the eyes. “We’re supposed to talk about what’s bothering us, remember?”

Castiel looked at him and nodded slowly.

“I don’t think I like your boss, Bradley.” Cas said almost on a whisper.

Dean’s lips parted in surprise and he raised his eyebrows. Everything clicking in place.

“I know he didn’t do anything but I don’t know why I keep feeling this _thing_ on my chest when you talk fondly about him.” Cas continued. “It’s been happening for a while now.”

“You’re jealous of Brad?” Dean asked with a smile.

“Of course you find it funny. You’re not the one being disturbed by feelings.” Cas rolled his eyes and looked out the window, taking his hand away from Dean’s.

“Cas, being jealous is not _that_ bad.” Dean explained, still smiling. “It means you like me and doesn’t want to share.”

Castiel looked at him and squinted.

“If it makes you feel any better I was dead jealous when you kissed Meg and when you slept with April.” Dean continued, feeling his cheeks burning. “And I almost lost it when Mick gave you his number.”

“Mick?” Cas asked in disbelief.

“Oh babe, Mick and his buddy Ketch wanted to be all over your pretty ass.” Dean said, laughing. “Good thing mom ganked that loser Ketch before I could torture him.”

The waiter arrived with their food and prevented Cas from saying anything else.

“Look.” Dean said when they were eating. “Brad gave me a job and helped me out but that’s it, okay? I don’t really care about him like you think I do.”

Cas smiled and nodded, so Dean leaned closer and pecked his lips.

 

***

 

“So, I was thinking maybe we could start with the bushes, you know?” Dean said as they entered the house. “Take them out and get the soil ready to plant your herbs and flowers.”

Cas hummed in agreement. “I don’t wanna cut any trees.” He said. “I like the way they are around the house.”

“I like the way they are too. I like your house exactly the way it is.” Dean said. “Let me change into something more comfortable and then we can get started.”

While Cas opened some windows on the house, Dean went to the guest bedroom to change.

Minutes later they were both outside with weeding hoes on their hands, getting rid of any unwelcome plants and preparing the ground for new seeds. The clouds were gone and the air was a little thick because of the rain that fell during the night. Sunlight was strong and warm, so the ground wasn’t even wet anymore.

“Wait.” Dean said when they finished planning the weekend. He stood and leaned against a tree, sweat dripping from his forehead and neck. “Why exactly don’t you like Brad? You didn’t say.”

Cas lifted his head and sat on his heels, sighing as he let go of the small shovel he was using. “You’re not going to forget that, are you?”

Smirking, Dean winked at him. “Nah.”

“Well. I suppose it’s because he spends more time with you than I do.” Cas started and considered a little. “Also he’s young, rich, well-educated, handsome, successful and…”

“Not you.” Dean cut him off in earnest. “He’s not you. And that’s a huge ‘no’ for me.”

Cas smiled and looked down, face red. “He didn’t seem to like me very much.” He said after some time. “I hope that doesn’t jeopardize your job in any way.”

“If it does then the job is not worth it.” Dean said. “Seriously though, don’t worry about that. I mean… it’s pretty obvious I only have eyes for you.” He said before he could stop himself.

Again Cas lifted his head, this time with a serious expression. He got up and walked to Dean while looking him in the eyes. Before Dean could say anything else, Cas’ soiled hands were on his face holding him for a passionate kiss. Dean’s hands immediately went to Cas’ lower back, pressing on the curve of skin.

Stepping closer, Cas placed one of his legs between Dean’s and deepened the kiss, opening his mouth to find the other man’s tongue.

The world seemed to stop for a second. The birds on the trees above them silently respecting the kiss and the wind coming their way to alleviate the heat.

“Are you guys making out behind a tree?” Sam’s voice came from the path of stone that led to the house, causing them to startle and break the kiss. “Ugh that’s so gross, man.”

Cas’ eyes were wide and his pupils a little dilated. Dean wasn’t much better with swollen lips and messy hair.

“Sam.” Cas leaned his head to the side to look at Sam with a smile. “Hello.”

“What are you doing here, dude?” Dean asked as he took Cas’ hand and walked closer to Sam. “Thought you were gonna call me to pick you up.”

“Oh, I needed some time so I got an Uber.” Sam answered.

“ _Uber_?” Cas whispered in confusion, frowning.

“The interview! How was it?” Dean remembered and asked excitedly.

Sam opened a huge smile and nodded. “I got it.” He said. “I got the job!”

“For real?!” Dean screamed and hugged Sam, causing Cas to jump in surprise. “Dude, that’s awesome. I knew you’d get it! Little Sammy is smart as hell.”

Dean released his brother and dried the tears falling from his eyes.

“Congratulations, Sam!” Cas said and smiled genuinely.

Sam nodded and got closer to give him a hug. “Thanks, man.” He said as he squeezed Cas. “Our talk earlier helped me a lot during the final conversations there.”

“I’m glad I could help.” Cas answered and felt the emotions becoming too much, letting some tears fall too.

“Jeez look at you guys, crying like girls.” Dean said, also tearing up.

Sam and Cas gave him a look of disapproval and rolled their eyes.

“We should celebrate.” Dean suggested.

“If you guys want I could cook dinner.” Cas offered. “I took some chicken out of the freezer earlier today, I was thinking about grilling it.”

“That sounds nice.” Sam raised his eyebrows.

Dean nodded and passed the back of his hand on his forehead. “What time is it?”

“It was five when I left the school.” Sam said. “You guys are filthy, what’ve you been up to?” He nodded toward the mess behind Dean and Cas.

“We started to prepare the soil to plant some flowers and spices.” Cas answered and smiled big.

“Also Cas is jealous of Brad.” Dean said with a grin and a pointed nose.

Cas snorted and rolled his eyes, going back to where he was working and gathering the tools to put them away.

“Well I don’t like Brad either so… I’m with Cas on this one.” Sam shrugged and smiled before going inside.

A couple of hours later Dean and Cas were clean and a little sunburned on the neck and cheeks, setting dinner on the table.

They ate and drank beer happily. Sam told them that the interview had finished at 11am but someone called Mrs. Gate asked him to stay on the school until the end of the day to know the place better and get familiar with the way the students were.

Cas listened attentively to the details and smiled, feeling incredibly happy for Sam and the way he was building himself a future.

“I should probably get going now.” Sam said and placed his empty beer on the table. “First thing tomorrow I have a contract to sign.” He lifted his eyebrows and smiled big.

“Oh, yes!” Cas said, also smiling. “Dean told me about that. Signing papers is very exciting.”

“Having my own place is another huge step. But Eileen also doesn’t want to hunt forever and things are going pretty well between us so…”

“You’re right, Sam.” Castiel nodded. “This is a good decision. I’m sure you’ll be very happy with her and your new home.”

“Yeah, I hope.” Sam smiled and looked at his brother. Dean was quietly peeling off the label of his beer. “You’re staying here again?” He asked.

Dean lifted his eyes at him. “I don’t know.” He said. “I think I’m out of clothes… and Cas works tomorrow.”

“You can stay as long as you don’t throw a party while I’m not here.” Cas said and smiled, reaching for Dean’s hand.

Dean smiled weakly.

“Well let me grab my bag.” Sam said and got up. “I gotta know if I’m walking home, Dean.”

“I really wouldn’t mind if you stayed, Dean.” Cas said once Sam was in the living room.

Dean looked at Cas and squeezed his hand.

“I also wouldn’t mind if you started living here with me when Sam moves out of the bunker.” Cas whispered and tried to smile.

“Uhm…” Dean started but cut himself off, swallowing thick. He barely nodded and didn’t look at Cas while he got up, grabbed his keys and walked out of the house.

He got inside the car and started the engine.

Cas got up and stood by the window on the kitchen, not knowing what to do.

“Bye, Cas.” Sam shouted as he ran outside, leaving the door open. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Bye.” Cas whispered in return and watched motionless as the Impala left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a little heartache. But I promise it's just a little bit :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 3 different povs in this chapter okay? Talk to me if you find it confusing :)

 

Cas barely slept that night.

He was feeling many things at the same time, things he didn't quite understand. The worst of them being the lack of understanding of what pushed Dean away like that.

After the brothers left he cleaned the kitchen and locked up the house. He slowly brushed his teeth and dressed his pajamas before sliding under the blankets. The pillow by his side smelled like Dean. Cas reached for it and held it tight against his chest, inhaling the weak perfume and trying not to get too emotional.

In the morning, his eyes were swollen and he had a strange feeling in his gut. The same feeling he had every single day from the moment he told Dean and Sam he wasn’t staying, until the day Dean managed to come back to his life.

Cas tried to start his day as if he was just fine. He dressed his uniform and made himself coffee. He locked up the house and got in his truck. The radio turned on with the engine and the chords to _House of The Risin’ Sun_ were playing. He took a deep breath and turned the radio off. The last thing he needed was the memory of Dean humming that song on a Saturday night while he chose a movie on TV.

He drove slowly through town and parked behind the store. Patrick wasn’t there yet. Nothing new so far.

He turned the sign on the door to ‘ _open’_ and unlocked it. Minutes later, he signed the receipts of a toilet paper delivery and sat on his chair behind the counter.

 

***

 

Dean wasn’t sure why he left like that. But he did.

He didn’t say a word in the car and as soon as he got to the bunker he made a couple of calls and found himself a case two towns over.

He prepared his duffle bag and baby’s trunk. At 2 in the morning he was driving away with tears locked in his eyes.

He spent four days at the small town. The three first days were all about interviews, research and late night drinks at the local bar. Everything indicated a nest of vampires. He placed the books inside the car and carried his machete everywhere he went. Dean ignored his buzzing phone the whole time. Sam wouldn’t stop texting and calling, asking him what happened and where he was. Cas texted him only once, before he left the bunker on Tuesday.

The motel room was awful, the bed was hard and the bathroom completely disgusting. But he didn’t want to spend his salary and he didn’t think he deserved any sort of pampering at the moment, so he stayed there.

He knew he’d been a dick to Cas by leaving like that, but he’d freaked out.

Cas asking him to move in with him was so sudden and full of meaning... he wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

But then again, what was stopping him? They had more than nine years of intense history and that was a lot more than other couples took to move in together. Cas said that he wanted a future and Dean was aware of that from the beginning. If he wasn’t okay with having a future, he wouldn’t have agreed with moving forward on their relationship.

The weight of guilt fell hard on his shoulders. He was sabotaging himself again, his own happiness. Because that’s what he did every time he had a chance of having something nice.

On Thursday night his phone buzzed again with another message from Sam.

**Sam [10:23 pm]**  
**Look, I won’t text or call anymore.**  
**I just need to say one last thing**

**Sam [10:25 pm]**  
**I know what you’re doing to yourself and you might think that the best thing is to stay away, but while you keep yourself from loving Cas, you also keep him from being happy.**

**Sam [10:26 pm]**  
**You both want to be with each other.**  
**I get it that you’re scared, Dean, but now is the time if you want to have something meaningful in your life.**

**Sam [10:30 pm]**  
**I hope you come back and give yourself a chance.**

Dean drank himself to sleep again, thinking about his brother’s words. His dreams carried blue and black, heavy on his conscience.

Despite the head and body ache, Dean drove to the place he suspected that was the vampire’s nest around 4 in the afternoon. Carefully and quietly, he beheaded three vampires that slept close to the entrance. He walked in further and decapitated another two that were sleeping against a wall.

Because he wasn’t that lucky, two bloodsuckers came growling towards him with big hungry eyes. He deflected from one of them and pushed the other into a wall, causing the structure of the old barn to shake and creak. He cut the creature’s head off and turned in time to catch the second one and kill it before it could touch him.

Dean took a breath and felt a movement behind him as one vampire punched him on the side of his neck. He stumbled forward and the bloody machete fell from his hand.

“Shit.” He said, out of breath.

The creature jumped on him and Dean let his body fall to the ground to make it easier to reach for the machete.

After rolling with the creature’s heavy weight over him, he closed his fingers around the knife and brought it upon himself, beheading the vampire and stopping the movement of his hand before the knife’s teeth penetrated too deep in his own neck.

Dean pushed the bloody dead body away from him and got up to walk around the barn. Two other vampires were sleeping on a far corner, oblivious to the massacre happening in their house. He approached quietly and killed the buff man with a groan of rage. The young woman sleeping next to him woke up and motioned to scream, but before any voice came from her throat, Dean’s machete crossed her flesh and bones, blood spilling all over his face.

He groaned loudly, angry at himself for still making such reckless decisions.

 

 

***

 

Sam only noticed his brother was going somewhere when he heard the car. He got up and tried to run to ask Dean where he was going but when he got to the garage the gate was closing and the Impala leaving at full speed on the opposite way to Cas’ house.

He spent two hours texting and repeatedly trying to call Dean but his brother didn’t answer. Sam went to bed and decided to deal with that in the morning, and when he woke up there was a single message on his phone.

**Dean [04:34 am]**  
**Got a case.**

“Dammit, Dean.” He mumbled as he pressed his fingertips on his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”

Sam took a deep breath and got up. An hour later, he signed the contract to the apartment and left with a key.

Three days passed and Dean didn’t text or call.

Sam needed to talk to Cas... maybe something had happened between them and he didn’t notice. On Thursday, after piling up a couple of boxes, he decided to go to Castiel’s workplace. Cas was on his lunch break, sitting on a bench at the park across the street. He had a sad look on his face, his eyes were fixed on the kids at the playground while his food remained untouched inside the Tupperware.

“Cas.” Sam called softly. He only walked closer when Cas looked at him. “Hey, man.”

“Hello Sam.” Cas said and tried to smile.

“How are you?”

Castiel nodded slightly, looking back at the kids. “Fine.”

“Look, I, uhm…” Sam tried to find words but suddenly his mind was blank. “Dean went on a hunt. That’s all I know.”

Cas looked at him again, this time his eyes were shining with tears ready to spill. “Good.”

“Did something happen?” Sam tried and sat.

“I’m not sure.” Cas said and sniffed. “He probably left because I said he should live with me when you moved to your own house.”

Sam nodded. That explained a lot.

“I should’ve known he wouldn’t want.” Cas passed the back of his hand under his nose and sniffed again while he nodded to himself. “Why would he?” He said and huffed a laugh, shrugging.

“Cas, man.” Sam shook his head. “Don’t say that. Dean is stubborn as hell be he’ll come around. He always does.”

Cas didn’t say anything, only looked away and let the tears fall down his cheeks.

“He was scared, you know?” Sam said. “Scared to ask you out, and then scared to push you away.”

Closing his eyes, Cas sobbed even more.

“He could never push me away.” Cas whispered. “I love him with all of my being and every time I left him or did something bad it was holding my broken heart in my hands.”

Sam pursed his lips and looked sadly to his best friend. “He loves you, Cas.” He said, seriously. “Don’t doubt that. I swear I never saw Dean so excited and worried about not ruining something like he is when it comes to you.”

Cas lowered his head and placed it against his forearms on the table.

“It’s hard for him to deal with feelings ‘cause dad never gave him a chance to feel them in the first place.” Sam explained. “But they’re there, hidden and starting to come out now. _Because of you. You_ are breaking his walls.”

Sam reached across the table and stroked Cas’ shoulder while he cried.

“I deserve this.” Cas mumbled. “I left him and now he left me.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Cas. He will come back.” Sam assured him. “He just freaked out and took some time to think, I promise.”

Cas nodded and lifted his head, using the hem of his shirt to dry his face.

“I have a part on this.” Sam said and took a deep breath. “I should’ve talked more to him about moving out.”

Huffing a laugh, Sam adjusted himself on the bench, sitting over one of his legs.

“He told me he was a little upset but he wants you to be happy even if he is not around.” Cas said.

“He thinks I’m just gonna disappear from his life.” Sam said and laughed a little. “I wouldn’t even if I could.”

“I told him that.” Cas smiled. “I suppose he’s a little insecure… we all are.”

Sam nodded and smiled back. “Look.” He said. “I’ll keep trying to call him, but I’m certain he must be coming back now… he has to work on Monday and he really loves that job.”

Cas nodded.

“I’ll let you get back to your break.” Sam said and got up. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yes, okay.” Cas said and reached for his lunch pot. “Thank you, Sam.”

 

***

 

Cas felt a little lighter after talking to Sam, but he was still sad and missing Dean a lot.

He had texted him on Tuesday night, saying he was sorry if he had said something wrong and upset him. Dean saw the message but didn’t write back.

Cas went to bed earlier than usual on Friday, not able to pay attention to any of the books he was reading. He fell asleep fast, his eyelids too heavy to keep him awake overthinking. He woke up to pee at 3 am as usual, washed his hands and on the moment his right knee touched the bed, there was a knock on the door.

Cas frowned and walked carefully through the halls, not turning any lights on. He took his blade from his trenchcoat behind the door while a second knock came, and stood ready to defend himself.

He opened the door fast with wide eyes.

Dean was there.

There was blood all over his face and clothes. He was blinking irregularly and swallowing thick.

“Dean.” Cas whispered as he dropped the blade and stepped outside. “What happened?” He reached and held Dean’s elbow, guiding him inside and closing the door fast.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean mumbled with his voice broken.

“Tell me what happened.” Cas insisted, looking for wounds. “Is this blood yours?”

Dean shook his head. “Vampire.”

“Shit.” Cas cursed and led him to the bathroom. “Do you have wounds?” He asked when they got there.

Nodding, Dean showed the little cuts on his neck. “Cas. I’m sorry I left.”

“We’re not talking about this right now.” Cas said and started to undress him. He took off his bloody shirts and jeans while Dean looked at him with sadness. “Get in the shower, please.”

Cas stepped back to leave the bathroom but Dean held his wrist, squeezing it with need.

“Let me get you a towel.” Cas said and Dean let go of him. “I’ll be back in a second.”

Cas turned the water on and left the bathroom as Dean took his boxers off. He took many deep breaths before opening his closet and getting a clean towel and underwear.

When he returned, Dean was standing under the water with his eyes closed.

“You have to wash the blood away, Dean. Otherwise I can’t take care of your wounds.”

“I shouldn’t have left alone.” Dean whispered.

Cas took his pajama pants off and stood in front of Dean. His underwear and hair soaking immediately.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Dean.” He said and hugged Dean tight, kissing his temple.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean mumbled against Cas’ shoulder, hands pressing on his lower back firmly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Cas assured him. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”

Cas stepped back and reached for the sponge, he rubbed it on the soap and slowly passed it all over Dean’s skin. The blood dissolved into the water and ran down the drain.

Minutes later Dean was clean and Cas was pulling him out of the bathroom by the hand. Dean sat on the bed while Cas went to the closet to get his pillow.

“Lay down.” Cas whispered and slightly pushed Dean’s shoulders onto the bed.

He left the bedroom and went to the kitchen for his first aid kit.

Sitting by Dean’s side, Cas sprayed some antiseptic over the cuts, spread some ointment and after it dried he covered it with small bandages. He also passed a different ointment over a dark purple bruise on the side of his neck.

“Sleep.” Cas said and got up to turn the lights off. “You’re tired and apparently in shock.”

Dean nodded and reached for Cas’ hand when he laid by his side.

Cas took the hint and hugged him from behind. “Good night.” He whispered.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you can see a little bit of how I imagine Jack, how I would like him to be :)

 

Dean woke up to the smell of coffee. The injuries stinging terribly. He got up, used the bathroom and dressed a t-shirt and sweatpants before going to the kitchen. He found Cas sitting by the table with his head on his hands.

“Morning.” Dean mumbled and got closer.

Cas looked up immediately and tried to smile. “Good Morning.” He said. “Are you feeling better?”

Dean nodded and walked straight to the coffee pot.

“I’d like to talk.” Cas told him. “Jack is arriving soon and I would hate to solve things with him already here.”

“Yeah, I wanna talk too.” Dean said as he sat in front of Cas.

“Why did you leave?” Cas asked, going straight to the point but keeping his voice soft.

“I freaked out.” Dean explained, nodding to himself. “Sam is leaving and you wanted me to move in with you, I… I guess it was a little too much at once.”

Cas tilted his head a little and looked at him. “You could’ve said that. You didn’t have to leave for the whole week.”

“I know that now. I’m sorry.” Dean didn’t know what else to say. Cas had the right to be pissed and he should be.

“Me too.” Cas said, a little hurt. “I didn’t know asking you to move in with me would cause you that much distress.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Cas.” Dean said and swallowed thick, thinking that he needed to express himself properly in order to not lose Cas. “I was a dick to leave like that… I didn’t think straight and freaking out was just so stupid of me, I mean, you told me from the beginning that you wanted a future and I don’t know why your suggestion got me all worked up like that.”

Dean shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. Cas was still looking at him and trying to read his expressions.

“I _am_ sorry.” He continued. “I was reckless taking a big nest by myself. I should’ve thought about my feelings and talked to you about it like I promised I would, and not jumped into death head first.”

“I forgive you, Dean.” Cas said reached for Dean’s hand. “And I am sorry for leaving you and Sam the way I did, too.”

Dean shook his head again and inhaled to speak but Cas continued.

“I left because my feelings were too much at the time. So I understand when you say you have a little trouble to deal with yours.”

“I promise I’ll try to deal with it some other way.” Dean said and looked away. “Being out there in a motel room by myself, I swear to God… I just don’t wanna be away from you anymore.”

“I don’t want you to be away from me, Dean.” Cas squeezed his hand and smiled when Dean looked his way.

“If you still want, I’d like to live here with you.” Dean whispered.

With shining eyes, Cas got up and walked around the table to stand in front of Dean. “Of course I want.” He said and Dean stood, smiling.

Castiel lifted his hands and touched Dean’s face gently. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, babe… so much” Dean whispered before leaning forward and attaching his lips to Cas’ on a searing kiss.

Dean hugged Cas’ back and squeezed him, putting all the feelings he could gather into the kiss. Cas sighed and broke the kiss after some seconds.

“You should eat something.” He said.

Dean nodded and gave a quick kiss on Cas’ lips before sitting and reaching for some pancakes.

“I need to check if the guest room is set for Jack.” Cas said. “I asked Sam to pick him up at the bus station at ten.”

“You have plans with him?” Dean asked, getting up and following Cas with his mouth full and coffee mug in hand.

“Not really.”

“Maybe we can all help Sam pack and move.” Dean shrugged and Cas looked at him. “He texted me on Wednesday I think, to say that today he was doing that.”

“If Jack wants to, I can’t see why not.” Cas said, opening the closet and taking pillows out of it.

“Hey, uh…” Dean started, sitting on the bed. “Why the pillow I used was inside your closet last night?”

“It smelled like you.” Cas shrugged and sat by Dean’s side, holding a folded towel. “And the internet says that when you don’t want to miss someone you shouldn’t keep around things that remind you of them.”

Dean laughed and stole a kiss. Cas was about to ask what was so funny when there was a knock on the door. He got up and squeezed Dean’s shoulder before going to answer it.

“Jack!” He said and smiled at the teenager standing awkwardly by Sam’s side. “I’m glad you came over.”

“Hi, Castiel.” Jack said and smiled at Cas. They hugged quickly.

“Come in.” Cas started to walk to the kitchen. “Thank you for picking him up, Sam. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, Cas.” Sam answered, walking behind him after leaving Jack’s bag on the floor. “Anytime.”

“I made some pancakes earlier.” Cas told them as Jack sat by the table. “They’re under that lid. You know where the syrup is, Jack.”

“Thank you, Castiel.” Jack said. “Oh, Jody said that she’ll call you to set a dinner for next month.”

“That’s great news.” Cas smiled.

“Morning, Jack.” Dean said as he entered the kitchen, going for the coffee pot again.

“Good Morning, Dean.” Jack answered after he swallowed.

“Dean.” Sam said with his eyebrows raised.

Dean turned around and looked at his brother. “Hey, Sam. Didn’t see you there.” He said.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Sam got up and walked outside.

Dean sighed but followed him, still holding his mug.

“What the hell, dude?”

“What?” Dean asked, even though he knew what Sam was asking him about.

“You know how bad it was when Cas left, but still, on the first bump in the road you go and do the same thing?” Sam questioned in disbelief.

“I’m sorry for leaving like that, Sam.” Dean said, feeling upset again. “I know it was stupid and reckless but I already talked to Cas and apologized. Now I’m talking to you and apologizing so everything’s good.”

“No, Dean.” Sam crossed his arms. “Everything’s not _good_.”

Dean frowned.

“What if Cas didn’t forgive you? Huh?” Sam continued.

Dean motioned to talk but Sam raised his index finger.

“I’m not gonna be here all the time to prevent you from doing shit.” He scolded. “Now listen to me: you wanna keep Cas? You deal with your feelings. You open up that stupid head of yours and let your constipated emotions out, ‘cause that man slash angel in there?” Sam nodded toward the house. “He loves you. And he’s waiting for you to get your head out of your ass and love him back.”

Swallowing thick, Dean looked away.

“Happiness is right there, Dean.” Sam lowered his voice and pointed toward the kitchen door. “Don’t run away from it now that you got it back.”

Dean nodded.

“I’m sorry, Sam.” He whispered. “I promised him I’ll do my best to deal with my feelings from now on.”

“You better.” Sam answered, nodding sternly. “You might be my brother but Cas is my best friend and I’ll do anything to protect him.”

Dean smiled at his brother’s affection.

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. “C’mon, let’s have breakfast.”

They went back inside and noticed that Jack and Cas were in the middle of a conversation.

“But are you feeling okay, Castiel?” Jack asked.

“Of course.” Cas tilted his head. “Why?”

“I sensed a little sadness every time I thought about you in the past week.” Jack explained while he poured sugar in his coffee and used a little spoon to dissolve it.

Castiel looked at Dean for a second and then back at Jack. “I was upset.” He said. “But I’m fine now.”

Jack nodded, sipping from his mug. “I have a plan for when I feel things that I don’t like.”

“Really?” Sam said, raising his eyebrows in genuine curiosity.

“Yes.” Jack answered. “I go into the shower and I cover my ears with my hands, then I just stay there under the water.”

Cas kept looking at him with affection, thinking about how he truly loved that kid.

“The water falling over my head echoes and sounds like heavy rain, it makes me feel better.” Jack continued, looking between the three of them.

“That’s a great plan.” Dean said, nodding at Jack.

“I’ll try that the next time I feel bad.” Sam winked at him and sipped from his mug.

“I’m glad you’re finding ways to deal with feelings, Jack.” Castiel said. “That is incredible.”

Jack nodded and smiled at them, proud of himselft.

“Listen.” Cas continued. “Sam is moving to a new house and he needs some help with his belongings. We were thinking about going over to the bunker to help him out.”

“Wanna join us?” Dean added, chewing another pancake.

“We’ll have to go from the bunker to his apartment and back a couple of times to move everything.” Castiel explained further.

“It sounds fun.” Jack said, smiling big. “I really wanna go to the bunker.”

“Well it’s a plan, then.” Sam said, smiling at them. “You can come with me and we can start packing while Dean and Cas get ready here.”

Jack nodded and ate the last piece of his pancake. “I’ll take my bag to my bedroom.” He said with his mouth full before getting up and running to the hallway.

“He’s great.” Sam said as he reached for another pancake. “He told me in the car that he’s been helping Jody with housework and he loves it.”

Cas smiled at his mug.

“And he venerates you, Cas.” Sam continued, his voice lower. “You can totally see by the way his eyes shine when you speak… or breathe.” He chuckled.

Lifting his eyes, Castiel tilted his head. “Why?” He asked, confused.

“Why wouldn’t he?” Dean said, lifting his eyebrows from the other side of the table.

Cas shook his head, dismissing the praises. “I would love to have him here more often, but Sioux Falls is really far.”

“I bet he wouldn’t think twice about living with you.” Sam said. “He sees you as his dad. And I’m sure he wouldn’t mind calling you that way, too.”

“Maybe someday.” Cas whispered and looked away.

“I’m ready.” Jack reappeared and stood by the kitchen entrance.

“Alright then, kid, let’s get going.” Sam said and got up.

“Bye, Castiel.” Jack said and waved. “Bye, Dean. See you later.”

“We’ll be there in a couple of minutes.” Dean said as his brother and Jack left the house.

Cas smiled at Dean. “He likes you, you know?”

Dean smiled and got up, taking some dishes to the sink. “You told him about us?”

“No.” Cas answered, getting up and doing the same. “I wanted to talk to you first, see if it is okay to tell him we’re in a relationship and answer whatever doubts he might present.”

Dean nodded. “Fine by me.” He shrugged. “I’m sure he had sex ed at school, though.”

Cas frowned. “I wasn’t…” He stopped himself and pursed his lips. “I was thinking about doubts regarding romantic relationships.”

“Oh… that.” Dean said and laughed. “Well I can be there when you tell him if you want.”

“Sure.” Cas nodded vehemently. “I might be bad at explaining due to my lack of experience.”

“I’ll be there, then.” Dean smiled. “Holding your hand the whole time.”

“I know that was sarcasm but I would appreciate that very much.” Castiel looked away.

Dean hugged him and kissed his temple.

Minutes later, they were changing in Cas’ bedroom.

Castiel had washed Dean’s bloody clothes when he woke up and hanged them outside in the sun. Dean dressed the jeans and t-shirt he’d left there before going hunting. Everything smelled like flowers because of the softener Cas used.

“I mentioned my lack of experience earlier.” Cas said as he tied his sneakers. “I wanted to talk about that.”

“Sure.” Dean said, sitting by his side and trying not to stare at the way Cas’ back flexed beautifully. “What’s up?”

“I know you have a lot of experience when it comes to sex.” Castiel continued and Dean looked away. “And I have only one besides you.”

Cas finished with his sneakers and sat straight, looking at Dean’s profile.

“What we did so far was great. I really, _really_ loved it.” He smiled fondly. “But I want more.”

Dean nodded, looking back at him with his eyes a little wide. “Me too.”

“And I know that sex is perhaps fundamental for you, so, before taking our relationship forward I think we should know if we can do it… _right._ ” Cas tilted his head, as if he didn’t like the word he spoke.

“Cas.” Dean smiled at Cas’ concern. “I’m pretty sure anything with you will be right.”

“Pretty sure is not completely sure.” Cas said, serious.

He was really nervous about that. When he thought about living with Dean and voiced that desire, he hadn’t considered the possibility of an imperfect sex life. When the thought came to him a day before Dean came back from the hunt, he started being afraid that if it wasn’t good enough, Dean would leave. It was a cheap thought and he knew that, but the insecurity was there.

Soon he decided that he needed to talk to Dean about it, and not create negative suppositions.

“Cas.” Dean called and took Cas’ hands on his. “I think that we should try, of course. But there’s more than one way to have sex, you know that.”

“Yes, but it’s not the same and…” Cas started, sighing in worry.

“And we’ll work with whatever happens.” Dean assured him.

Cas looked at Dean, the insecurity splattered on his face.

“Look, the first few times won’t be completely perfect.” Dean said quietly, looking deeply into Cas’ eyes. “Everything requires a little practice.”

“I did research.” Castiel said, reassuringly.

Dean nodded and smiled. “I knew you would.” He laughed a little, and Cas felt his neck burning. “I told you I want you to be comfortable about this, and if research makes you feel better then I’m in… we can even do it together. But I want you to know that I’m not an expert and that I need to learn a lot.”

“Have you done it before?” Cas asked, genuinely curious. Dean had never mentioned having a relationship with a man.

“I’ve only been for real with one guy besides you.” Dean told him. “I was young and curious about myself, wanted to know if it was the same as being with a chick so I went to a night club.”

Cas nodded. He liked to learn personal things about Dean.

“I met this guy, Jeremy.” Dean continued, looking away. “I stayed with him for a week. He was five years older as far as I know and he was really nice to me. Took his time and showed me a lot of things I didn’t know I liked.”

Dean rearranged himself on the bed and laid on his back, one hand behind his head while the other played with the hem of Cas’ shirt.

“Dad saw me kissing him once and obviously kicked my ass.” Dean huffed a broken laugh. “After that I kinda locked this part of me away and stuck to girls.”

“I’m sorry.” Cas whispered, laying down by his side and placing his head on Dean’s biceps.

“It’s okay.” Dean said and caressed Cas’ shoulder. “After he died I felt free and had a couple of random hook ups with dudes… but it was only like blow jobs and hand jobs in bars.” He shrugged. “Meaningless.”

“I’m glad you told me this.” Cas said, leaning to nuzzle his neck. “I’ve been nervous.” He kissed over Dean’s pulse point.

“Don’t be. We’ll figure this out together.”

Cas nodded and smiled against his skin.

“I’ve been worried about it too, you know?” Dean said. “I really want it to be good for you.”

Dean moved and held himself up on his right elbow as Cas lightly touched the bandage on his neck.

“What if we set a date, like… next Friday.” Dean suggested. “And then we can have dinner, watch something and try it.”

Cas nodded.

“And if it doesn’t work we can try again some other time.” Dean continued. “I promise you that if it doesn’t work I won’t leave you or anything. I’m not with you for sex… you know that, right?”

“Yes…” Castiel whispered, looking up at Dean’s eyes.

Dean lowered his head until his lips touched Cas’, their eyes instantly closing.

Cas’ hand went from Dean’s chest to his shoulder and he squeezed it once, pulling his body closer and above. Dean straddled his hips and both of his hands went to Cas’ hair, making it even messier.

The soft strands slid through his fingers as his lips and tongue danced against Cas’. Out of breath, Dean broke the kiss and noticed Cas chasing his lips reflexively. He mentally wished to never grow tired of the bliss that took over Cas’ features when they kissed.

“Dean.” Cas whispered, still with eyes closed. “We have places to be.”

“Mmhmm.” Dean answered and kissed him again. “Just a sec.”

Cas’ hands went from Dean’s waist to his chest. “I’m serious.” He said and gently pushed him up. “We can do this later.”

“Why can’t we do the other things later?” Dean mumbled, sitting on Cas’ tights and pulling him up to sit.

“Because we promised to help.” Cas said simply and Dean rolled his eyes. “Now c’mon, let’s go.”

Dean got up and pulled Cas with him by the hand. He adjusted the collar of Cas’ polo shirt and kissed his lips one last time.

 

***

 

Cas stayed outside, waiting for Sam, Jack and Dean to bring boxes so that he could place them on his truck. They were all fine now but going in the bunker still wasn’t very pleasant for him. He said that and Dean nodded and squeezed his shoulder in support.

The truck was loaded with boxes and soon Cas and Jack were driving to Sam’s apartment building to drop them off.

“Castiel.” Jack called and Cas tuned the volume of the radio down. “Are you married to Dean?”

Cas hit the brakes forcefully and the boxes shook on the back of the truck. Luckily, the car behind them was driving slowly and was able to stop without crashing.

“What?” Cas asked as the other car honked and passed by their side.

“Are you and Dean married?” Jack repeated, his hands tight on the seat. “I’m okay with that. Jody taught me that love is natural and beautiful.”

“Uhm.” Cas swallowed thick. That was not a good moment. “No, I’m… I’m not married to Dean.”

“Oh.” Jack said and looked ahead. “I’m sorry for assuming you were.”

“No need to apologize.” Cas said and pursed his lips. He switched gears and accelerated, the car moving again. “We are in a relationship, but we’re not married.” He told Jack.

Jack nodded and looked at him. “He’s your boyfriend, then?”

“I suppose, yes.” Castiel shrugged. “We were going to tell you later today, together.”

“I like Dean.” Jack said and smiled to himself. “He loves you so I like him.”

Cas only nodded, not finding words to talk about that.

“Do you think he likes me?” Jack looked at him with hopefulness.

“Of course he likes you!” Cas assured him. “He helped me save you. He accepted you in his family as if you had always been there.”

Cas parked in front of Sam’s building.

“We all want to be closer to you, Jack. But there are some things we need to take care of first.”

Jack nodded and smiled. “You did so much to me, Castiel. You’re the best father on the planet.” He said. “I love you.”

Cas sighed in surprise. “Oh, I love you too, Jack.”

After smiling to each other for some seconds, they got out of the car and took the boxes to the fourth floor, placing everything inside the apartment. They did the route a couple more times, and when they got back to the bunker for the last time, they decided to go out for dinner.

After a long night of burgers and beers, Dean parked in front of the bunker.

They got out of the Impala and Sam went inside after waving at them and saying good night. Jack climbed on Cas’ truck and waited.

“Sam will stay at the apartment unpacking with Eileen tomorrow.” Dean said, nodding to himself and smiling nervously. “This is all so weird.”

Cas smiled at him in solace. “I know… but soon we’ll get used to it.”

Dean glanced behind Cas and saw Jack looking at them with interest. “Shit I forgot we were going to talk to Jack about us today.”

“It won’t be necessary. He asked me if we were married and I almost crashed the car.” Cas laughed and turned to look at Jack.

Dean waved at him and Jack waved back, smiling.

“He told me he likes you, so I think we’re good.” Cas continued.

“Yeah?” Dean lifted his eyebrows and smirked, getting closer and closing his arms around Cas’ middle.

Cas hummed in agreement and looked from Dean’s eyes to his lips a couple of times, arms bracing his neck. Dean’s smirk grew and he leaned forward to kiss Cas.

“So, our date next Friday…?” Dean asked against his lips.

“Yes.” Cas answered. “Our date next Friday.”

“Awesome.” Dean kissed him one last time and stepped back.

“Good night, Dean.” Cas said.

“Night, Cas.” Dean answered and winked.

 

***

Castiel was already under the covers when his phone buzzed over the chair. He marked the book and left it on the bed before turning to the other side and reaching for the device.

**Dean [11:34 pm]**  
**Are u awake?**

Castiel smiled and sighed happily.

**Cas [11:37 pm]**  
**Yes. I was reading.**

**Dean [11:37 pm]**  
**U and Jack doing something for lunch tomorrow?**

**Cas [11:38 pm]**  
**I don’t know…**  
**I was thinking about staying at home.**

**Dean [11:39 pm]**  
**Wanna have a picnic?**  
**U, me and Jack?**

**Cas [11:40 pm]**  
**I’m sure Jack would love that.**

**Dean [11:40 pm]**  
**Would u?**

Cas could feel Dean’s worry. He smiled to himself before typing again.

**Cas [11:40 pm]**  
**Of course!**  
**That was implied. :)**

**Dean [11:41 pm]**  
**I’ll pick you guys up k?**

**Cas [11:42 pm]**  
**Okay. I’ll make PB &J sandwiches.**

He texted and locked the screen for a second, but unlocked it immediately after.

**Cas [11:43 pm]**  
**Dean.**

**Dean [11:44 pm]**  
**Yeah**

**Cas [11:44 pm]**  
**I’m glad you came back to me.**

**Dean [11:45 pm]**  
**Me too**  
**I’ll be a total sap and say that I miss u already**

**Cas [11:46 pm]**  
**I miss you too.**

**Dean [11:46 pm]**  
**Don’t put my pillow in the closet lol**

**Cas [11:47 pm]**  
**Don’t worry. I’m hugging it tonight.**

**Dean [11:48 pm]**  
**I bet it’s a pretty view ;)**

Cas considered texting him a picture, but thought he didn’t really know how to take nice ones. So he chose words instead.

**Cas [11:49 pm]**  
**Maybe tomorrow you can see for yourself.**

**Dean [11:49 pm]**  
**Hmm I’d love that**  
**Jack leaves after lunch?**

**Cas [11:50 pm]**  
**Yes.**  
**Can you stay here tomorrow?**

**Dean [11:51 pm]**  
**Sure but I have to work on Monday**

**Cas [11:52 pm]**  
**That’s not a problem for me.**  
**I have to work on Monday, too :(**

**Dean [11:53 pm]**  
**Then it’s a date**  
**See u tomorrow?**

**Cas [11:54 pm]**  
**Yes :)**  
**Sleep well, Dean.**

**Dean [11:55 pm]**  
**Night babe**

Castiel locked the phone and placed it back on the chair with the book. He turned the lamp off and snuggled against Dean’s pillow, falling asleep almost instantly.

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

Dean arrived around 10 am. The door was open so he just called for Cas and heard him answer from the living room.

Cas was knitting and Jack was watching TV. He approached the couch and Cas looked up with a smile.

“Hey, babe.” Dean said and leaned down to kiss him. “Hey there, Jack.”

“Hi, Dean.” Jack smiled at him and quickly focused back on the TV.

“I brought some clean clothes.” Dean lifted his two duffle bags and Cas nodded.

“Let’s put them on the closet.” Cas got up and patted Jack’s knee before leaving the room. “You can use the left side. It’s all empty.” He said when they were in front of Cas’ big closet.

Dean nodded and opened one bag to take some t-shirts, jeans, socks and underwear from it. He placed everything inside and set his uniform on a hanger.

“I was thinking.” Cas said, walking to the bathroom and reaching his tooth brush. “We should leave soon and go to the Farmers Market before the picnic.”

“That’s a good idea.” Dean nodded, reaching for the small bag with his hygiene products and placing it over the clothes. “Anything specific you need to get?”

“No.” Cas shrugged and the tooth brush hanged from his mouth. “But maybe we can find things for the garden, there.”

Dean hummed in agreement.

Cas finished to brush his teeth and walked back to the closet to get a t-shirt. “We’ll leave in what? Twenty minutes?”

“Sure.” Dean agreed and sat on the bed.

Cas walked to the door. “Jack, we’ll leave in fifteen minutes!” He said, loud. “Get your bag ready because we’ll take you to the bus station after lunch.”

“Okay!” Jack screamed back and soon they heard him running to his bedroom.

“Are you feeling okay?” Cas asked, taking his pajama shirt off and dressing the one he got from the closet.

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “Just thinking about Sammy and everything.”

Cas smiled at him and sat by his side. “You’ll see each other frequently, I’m sure.”

“I know… it’s just weird ‘cause we lived together our whole lives.”

“Maybe if you think that both of you are changing paths to reach happiness you won’t feel that way.” Cas said quietly.

Dean looked at him as if he had a crown of knowledge on his head. “You’re right.” He said and took Cas’ hand. “Totally right.”

Cas smiled back and Dean pecked him on the lips.

“I’ll lock everything up, can you take the bag from the kitchen table to put it in the car?” Cas got up and pulled Dean with him.

“Yep.”

 

***

 

The sun was high and bright, the wind was chill and the leaves were everywhere. The Farmers Market was busy, people walked happily from tent to tent, buying everything they’d need for the week.

Jack was absolutely fascinated. He was walking a little ahead of Dean and Cas, stopping to sniff at fruits and plants that caught his attention.

“That kid is no doubt yours, babe.” Dean whispered and laughed as Jack stopped to try fresh honey on a stall.

Cas slightly elbowed his ribs and got closer to Jack to also try the honey. He ended up buying two jars, one for him and one for Jack to take home to Jody.

Soon they stopped on a tent filled with plant seedlings. Cas chose lettuce, tomato, onion, oregano, garlic, parsley and chive, rosemary and even some mint. He decided to come back another time to buy the flowers seeds.

Dean offered to take the Styrofoam trays to the car. Meanwhile, Cas pulled Jack to a stall of homemade food. The smell of cake and whipped cream was almost cloying. They bought an apple pie and placed it on the bag with the sandwiches and juice.

“Dean really loves pie, you know?” Cas said, guiding Jack back to where Dean had left them.

“Really?” Jack asked and Cas hummed in agreement. “Well, pie is really good.”

Cas smiled fondly at him and saw Dean on the crowd.

“Are you guys done shopping?” Dean asked when he stopped by Cas’ side.

“Yes.” Cas answered with a smile. “Is there anything else you want, Jack?”

“No.” Jack shrugged. “I think I’m hungry, though.”

“Okay then, let’s go to the park across the street.” Dean smiled, reached for Cas’ hand and placed his other arm around Jack’s shoulders.

With gigantic butterflies in his stomach, Cas walked by Dean’s side, enjoying the moment with his little family.

They sat together on a big tablecloth, placing the sandwiches and juice between them.

When Cas took the pie from the bag, Jack had a big smile on his face and made sure to tell Dean that “Castiel bought it because he knows how much you love it”. Dean smiled lovingly at Cas and stole a kiss.

Later, they dropped Jack off at the bus station and waited until he boarded the bus. Dean and Cas went back to Cas’ house around 4 pm and enjoyed the sunlight to plant some of the seedlings. At night, Dean made them noodles and they ate the rest of the pie.

A little before 11 pm they laid together in bed.

Cas scooted closer to Dean and placed an arm over his chest. Dean linked their fingers together and kissed him.

“Night, babe.” Dean whispered.

“Good night, Dean.” Cas answered.

They caressed each other’s skins while they fell asleep, the quiet puffs of breath echoing on the walls.

 

***

 

Friday could not take longer to arrive.

Dean and Cas were feeling the same way but were both trying to play it cool.

Their jobs became boring because the hours didn’t pass faster enough. The lunch hours started to feel unnecessary because the nerves were taking any hunger away. The costumers started to sound annoying with every pronounced word.

Dean didn’t cancel his lunch with Sam on Friday to prove himself that he was fine and chill. They’d been at the diner for fifteen minutes when Sam noticed the veins on Dean’s neck were almost ripping off his skin.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sam asked, frowning.

“What?” Dean turned his head to Sam quickly. “Nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Yeah right.” Sam mumbled and continued to grade some papers. “How are things between you and Cas?” He added after some seconds.

“Cool... chill… peachy…” Dean said, nodding more times than necessary. “Aweso…”

“Spit it out.” Sam gave him a bitchface, interrupting his word.

Dean sighed in annoyance and considered his options. He could lie and keep suffering, or he could talk to Sam and maybe get some advice after the usual teasing.

He swallowed thick. “Cas and I decided to have a date tonight to uh…” He cleared his throat. “Uhm… watch a movie.”

Sam pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. “Really Dean?”

“Shut up.” Dean dismissed the complaint. “So… I know I watched a lot of movies in my life but I never _really_ watched a movie with Cas. Only the trailers and stuff.”

“And you’re nervous because you’re afraid to dislike the… movie?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows.

“No.” Dean shrugged and looked away. “I know I’m gonna love it ‘cause it’s with Cas. I just… we talked about this and decided to try and figure things out together.”

“So what’s the problem?” Sam shrugged one shoulder.

“I’m not sure.” Dean swiped his tongue over his front teeth without opening his mouth. “I’m nervous about it, I guess.”

“If you guys talked, I see no reason to be this nervous, Dean.”

“Yeah, but…” Dean started but shook his head. “I _want_ it to be good… the movie, I mean.”

Sam nodded.

“He only did it one other time and he said he’s not suffering with the trauma anymore. So I just really want him to enjoy it.”

“Look, despite this being completely awkward for me because you’re my brother and Cas is my best friend…” Sam said, raising his eyebrows accusingly. “I think you should talk to him again before doing anything. Ask him to tell you what he likes or not and stuff.”

Dean nodded, eyes darting from Sam to the wall behind him.

“Dialogue is the key to pretty much everything, you know?” Sam continued, tapping the red pen on the table.

“Is that what you tell your students?” Dean teased, trying to change the subject.

“Of course.” Sam answered seriously. “Just make something nice for Cas. He told me you bought him flowers for your first date… do it again. I don’t know man. You’re the one dating him.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Dean mumbled. “I’ll think about something.”

“Just please don’t talk to him about sex using this stupid movie metaphor.” Sam blinked and shook his head with a grimace of disgust.

Dean only rolled his eyes and continued waiting for the food.

Cas on the other hand had planned the date a thousand times but nothing seemed good enough. He didn’t know if he should cook them pasta or steaks, and Friday morning he decided to prepare risotto.

He’d need other ingredients for that, so he made a list before work and when he left the store on the end of the shift, he drove to another grocery store, hoping not to meet anyone there.

Cas pushed the cart through the aisles, getting arborio rice, prosciutto, frozen peas and cheese for the risotto. He also got some cleaning products, cookies, beans, fruits, vegetables, toilet paper and stopped on the self-care section to get what the internet told him he’d need.

He thought it was pathetic to buy flavored lubricant, so he took the bottle with the colorless one. He decided to buy condoms because even though he didn’t want to use them, Dean might and he wanted to respect that. He added Dean’s shampoo to the cart and a different soap too.

After paying for everything, he grabbed the bags to take them to the car. As soon as he passed through the automatic doors, he noticed Dean’s car parked under a tree on the parking lot. He looked around and saw Dean leaning against his truck.

“Dean.” Cas said as he got closer.

Dean lifted his eyes from his phone and put it on his pocket. “Hey, babe.”

“What are you doing here?” Cas let him take a couple of bags. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Yeah.” Dean said and leaned forward to peck Cas’ lips. “Brad sent me home ‘cause I yelled at a costumer.”

“Why did you yell at someone?” Cas widened his eyes as he unlocked the door.

“I’m pretty nervous about today and I haven’t been able to control my shit.” Dean explained and placed the bags on the passenger seat.

“Well, I’m nervous as well.” Cas smiled a little and placed the rest of the bags on the seat. “Patrick is lucky I don’t work all day on Fridays… I would probably smite him in ten minutes.”

Dean laughed and leaned against the car again. “So… what are you doing here?” He asked. “I thought you had everything settled for dinner.”

“Well I changed my mind about the meal so I came to buy the missing ingredients and some other products I needed.” Castiel explained, smiling.

“I can’t wait.” Dean smiled back. “Want me to get some wine?”

“I was actually going to call you and ask you to get it.”

“I have some things to buy myself here, too.” Dean said nodding to the building and finally explaining what he was doing there. “I’ll get the wine while I’m at it. Red?”

Cas nodded with a little smile. He became very fond of wine.

“Alright then.” Dean stepped closer. “I’ll let you get back to your things. See you later.”

Cas leaned in and kissed him, parting his lips immediately. Dean responded with a little surprise, closing his hand around Cas’ forearm.

They missed each other. Dean slept at Cas’ on Sunday and Monday but went back to the bunker on Tuesday, saying they shouldn’t do anything until Friday. Actually, he was spending his nights in the bunker to pack his belongings into brown boxes and let everything ready to move them to Cas’ house.

Their lips parted with a pop after some seconds.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean mumbled.

“I miss you so much.” Cas whispered and stepped back.

“Miss you too.” Dean said, still a little dizzy.

Cas smirked at him and reached forward to close the passenger door, completely leaning his body against Dean’s. Dean inhaled his usual scent of honey and lavender as he moved.

“See you later.” Cas said with a grave voice and a smile.

Dean only nodded slightly and watched as Cas walked around the truck and climbed in behind the wheel.

 

***

 

Dean bought the wine and some other things on the store and headed to the same flower shop he went before his first date with Cas.

“Hello, there.” The teenager attendant left the counter as Dean entered the shop. “How can I help you?” The tag on her apron read ‘Aubrey’.

“Hey, I, uh… I wanted a small bouquet of white carnations.” Dean said.

The girl nodded and grabbed a basket from the counter. “I remember you… You came here a couple of weeks ago, looking for flowers for a first date, right?”

Dean nodded, a little embarrassed. “Yeah.”

“So it went well, huh?” Aubrey wiggled her eyebrows as she walked to the table of cropped flowers ready to be placed in bouquets.

“You can say that.” Dean huffed a laugh and walked closer to watch her work.

“Did you know that each color of each flower has a different meaning?” The girl said, looking at him with an excited expression.

Dean shook his head and smiled at her. “What do the white ones mean, then?” He asked.

“Pure love and good luck. That’s why I indicated them for you that day.” Aubrey answered and then pointed to the other colors as she spoke. “The yellow ones mean disappointment or rejection. Purple for capriciousness. Pink for a mother’s love. And the red ones mean deep love and admiration.”

“Oh, wait.” Dean took his hands from his pockets and pointed at the flowers. “Then make the bouquet red instead of white.”

She smirked at him. “Sure.”

Dean couldn’t stop the heat that ran up his neck.

The girl put together fifteen small red carnations with long leaves and some baby’s-breath, then wrapped the lengthy stems on a light brown lacy ribbon. Dean paid for it and the girl wished him good luck.

He went to the bunker and took a long shower, chose his best pair of jeans, his favorite dress shirt and a jacket to wear, sprayed some cologne and combed his hair as usual. His nerves were on fire, but he was trying his best to remain calm. He needed to be calm to do things right.

The clock blinked six forty-five, so he decided to go.

He grabbed his bag and got in the car. The wine and the flowers were there on the seat, Dean looked at them with a smile and started the engine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a huge amount of feelings on the next chapter ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, before the festival of fluff and love begins, I wanna say that I /really/ loved writing this chapter and I hope you can all feel the same emotions I felt!
> 
> Enjoy, my loves...

 

Castiel was glowing. That’s how Dean could describe him.

He opened the door with a big smile, a cloth hanging on his shoulder. “Dean.” Cas said softly, almost surprised.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean smiled back and held out the flowers. “I got you these.”

“They’re beautiful!” Cas took the bouquet and smelled it. “Oh, Dean, thank you. You know how I love carnations.” He extended his hand and Dean took it.

“You’re welcome.” Dean said and stepped forward as Cas pulled him closer.

His lips touched Cas’ as soon as he was close enough, and his free arm went to Cas’ back. The kiss was tender and soft, incredibly full of feelings.

“Come in.” Cas whispered against Dean’s cheek. “Dinner is almost ready.”

Dean nodded and followed him inside, closing and locking the door behind him.

“You can leave your bag on the hallway.” Cas said. “Can you help me, please?”

“Sure.” Dean rushed to the kitchen and placed the wine bottle on the table, which was already set. “I was going to come earlier but I wanted to make it look like a date so I waited… sorry.”

“No need to apologize. We agreed on a date.” Cas looked over his shoulder and smiled. He was still holding the flowers. “Come over here, please.”

Dean approached him and Cas handed him the big spoon he was using to mix the risotto inside the pan.

“Mix it slowly so it won’t stick to the bottom of the pan.” Cas instructed and opened one cabinet to get a vase for the flowers. He filled it with water and placed it on the table. “Keep mixing while I chop some parsley.”

Dean did what he was told and asked if maybe he shouldn’t add some water to keep it from sticking. Cas filled a small cup and handed it to him. Minutes later Castiel got closer to him and with a steady hand on his lower back, turned off the stove.

“Thank you.” Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s cheek.

Dean smiled and sat on the table, reaching for the wine bottle and opening it. He poured it into their glasses and watched as Cas set up their plates with the risotto and small leaves of parsley on top of it.

“It smells great.” Dean widened his eyes as Cas placed the plates on the table.

“I hope it tastes as good as it smells.” Cas said and sat in front of him. “Thank you for bringing the wine.”

“No problem.” Dean answered and tried his rice. He indiscreetly moaned and closed his eyes while Cas’ smile widened. “This is perfect.”

“Is it, now?” Cas asked and tried from his own plate. He savored the ingredients and nodded. “I don’t wish to sound pretentious, but I see what you mean.”

Dean laughed and took a sip of the wine. “What do you want to watch after dinner?”

“I didn’t think of anything.” Castiel shrugged. “Maybe we can continue that TV show we started on Monday… what was it called?”

“Blindspot.” Dean said with his mouth full.

“Yes. That one.” Cas nodded. “I have to admit I found it very difficult to keep myself from watching without you. It’s addictive.”

“I know!” Dean answered and reached for his glass again. “I caught myself opening netflix a thousand times before bed the other day.”

They continued the conversations on a light and easy tone, forgetting about all the internal pressure for some time. One hour later, the dishes were on the dishwasher and they were sitting on the sofa together, wine glasses on the coffee table. Their bodies pressed side by side while Dean’s thumb massaged the back of Cas’ hand.

Two episodes went by and they managed to pay as much attention as they could.

“Oh I feel so sorry for Patterson.” Cas said at the end of the second one. “She didn’t deserve this.”

“Yeah…” Dean agreed and caressed his arm. “And we know damn well the feeling of losing the one we love. The actress played it really well.”

“I agree. And I’m glad we won’t feel that for a long time.” Cas smiled and looked up at Dean.

Dean smiled back and lowered his head to catch Castiel’s lips.

They started slow. Kissing and caressing each other’s bare arms and necks. The chilly air making the touches more sensitive and eliciting shivers. Cas shifted and slid his hand under Dean’s shirt, touching the warm skin and feeling heat spreading through his own body.

Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair and left his hand there while Cas managed to deepen the kiss even more.

“Let’s go to the bedroom.” Cas said against Dean’s lips, his voice rough.

Nodding vehemently, Dean pushed himself up and stood. Cas turned the TV off and took Dean’s hand to lead him to the hallway.

“I’ll just get some water, please go in.” Cas said and Dean nodded, grabbing his bag from the floor.

As soon as Dean stepped in the bedroom, he was in awe.

The lamps above the bed were on and turned towards the ceiling, shadowing the whole bedroom. The fireplace was crackling in the far right corner. Two candles were lit, one on the nightstand on Dean’s side of the bed and other on the chair by Cas’ side.

On the bed there was a card along with a single jasmine branch.

Dean left the bag on the floor, sat and reached for the items. Cas’ handwriting was there, beautiful as always.

 

_Dean,_

_Tonight is a big step for me, for you and for us._

_I want you to be certain that no matter what, I will continue here… desperately wanting you and your affection because you are the right one for me._

_Love,_

_Castiel_

 

Dean looked up and saw Cas standing at the door with a glass of water in hand. His blue eyes were pure expectancy. Dean smiled genuinely and walked to give Cas a searing kiss.

“It’s beautiful.” Dean whispered and kissed the side of Cas’ face. “Amazing. You’re amazing.” He gently kissed below Cas’ ear and over his pulse point.

“I’m glad you liked it.” Cas whispered back, relief washing his voice.

“I loved it.” Dean leaned back and looked into his eyes. “C’mon.”

Cas left the glass next to the candle and the card on the nightstand and let Dean guide him to the bed. Dean stood on his knees, pulling Cas by the hand towards him. Their kisses became long and slow, hands dragging through each other’s still covered bodies.

“Take your shirt off.” Dean whispered while kissing Cas’ neck.

Castiel sat on his ankles and grabbed the hem of the dark blue polo he was wearing, pulling it up and out of his head. Dean’s eyes watched the muscles flexing with his movements and he raised his hand to touch Cas’ chest.

“You too.” Cas said, low.

Dean smirked and sat too, quickly taking his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. His lips immediately attached themselves to Cas’ collarbone, biting occasionally and sucking light marks that wouldn’t bloom too dark.

The fire kept up with their rhythm, the wood cracking and heating up the bedroom once cold.

Cas’ eyes were closed and he was completely vulnerable. Dean reached for his zipper and undid the single button on his jeans while he kissed the exposed skin on Cas’ neck. In a swift movement, Dean held Cas and placed him against the bed, staring at his blissful face for some seconds.

Opening his eyes, Castiel nodded to the silent question that floated in Dean’s eyes. Dean shifted and took Cas’ pants and underwear off, dropping them to the floor.

Cas held his breath while Dean looked him up and down, and when he thought he’d see only lust and desire on the green eyes, he saw something else. Something hook ups don’t give you. Something that words are not enough to explain.

Insecurity washed over Cas’ mind, the fear of not doing things right was there again. He bit the insides of his cheeks and let go of the breath he was holding.

“Hey.” Dean lowered himself over Cas’ body. “Don’t think too much, okay?”

Castiel nodded and fought the urge to look away from Dean.

“We’ll try this slowly and if there’s anything you don’t like you _have_ to tell me, okay?” Dean continued and kissed Cas’ cheek. “Huh?”

“Yes, okay.” Cas whispered, caressing Dean’s chest with both hands.

“Alright.” Dean smiled and kissed his lips. “Now tell me.” He said. “What do you want me to do?”

Castiel looked at him in doubt. He knew what Dean was asking but he wasn’t sure he wanted to say it.

“You can tell me, babe.” Dean repeated and passed his fingertips along Cas’ forehead. It was hard to believe that the vulnerable man lying under him used to command armies of angels. “What do you want?”

“I want you to be on top.” Cas whispered. “Please.”

Dean kissed his left cheek and the tip of his nose. “Of course.”

Castiel caught Dean’s stare and his hands went down to Dean’s waist to unzip his jeans. Dean stood up and took his pants and boxer briefs, still looking at Cas. He climbed back on the bed and gave him a deep kiss as he straddled his hips. Cas’ hands massaged his back slowly and sensually.

The feeling of their skins completely touching was overwhelming, almost as if the fire was in them and not in the fireplace. Their combined body heat increasing the arousal.

Cas put his right hand on Dean’s chest and slightly pushed him up, breaking the kiss. “There’s condoms and lubricant in the drawer.” He said and nodded to the side.

Dean nodded in return. “Just so you know I… I’m clean.” He said while he opened the drawer and grabbed a condom and the small bottle of lube. “I had to be tested for all possible contagious stuff before starting the job at the garage and I haven’t been with anyone for a long time now.”

Cas’ eyes widened a little. “Uhm…”

“I mean… of course we will use it if you want.” Dean completed, starting to ramble. “I just wanted you to know in case of…” His voice lowered and trailed off.

“Oh, no!” Cas noticed his hesitance. “That’s not it… we don’t have to use it, I’m okay too.” He said and smiled. “I was just wondering about why you didn’t find other people to be with.”

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean huffed a nervous laugh and looked at the bottle he was tightly holding. “You’re it, man. There’s no one else.” He shrugged slightly.

Cas raised his eyebrows and tried no to look as surprised as he actually was on the inside. He smiled and placed both hands on Dean’s neck to bring him down for an amorous kiss. His lips opened Dean’s and he put everything he felt into it. Dean kissed him back the same way, their tongues meeting and immediately falling into rhythm. Their cocks slid together a few times before Dean broke the kiss, smiled at Cas and started working on his neck and chest. He left some bites, creating his trail toward Cas’ stomach and hips.

Castiel kept his fingers tightly gripping the sheets on both sides of his body, until Dean looked up at him and took his hands. “Touch me, Cas.” He said. “We’re in this together.”

When Cas placed a hand on the sand hair, Dean nodded and winked before getting back to the kisses and stimulation on his stomach. He kissed the scar and massaged Cas’ thighs while bringing them upwards, positioning Cas’ legs to prepare him easier.

Castiel’s fingers on his hair felt like cool wind on a warm day: relieving. His movements were light and almost lazy, but Dean felt a slight tug when his lips touched the head of Cas’ cock. He kept moving while he opened the bottle of lube and spread it all over his fingers.

Dean lifted his head and saw that Cas had his eyes closed and mouth slightly open. His hand left Dean’s hair and caressed his cheek and ear when he noticed he was being watched. His eyes opened and looked right into Dean’s.

“I’m gonna open you up now.” Dean said and caressed Cas’ thigh slowly. “Talk to me if it’s not okay.”

Castiel nodded, his eyes shining in expectancy and curiosity.

Dean kissed all over Cas’ thighs while his fingers wandered close to his entrance. He led his lips back to Cas’ cock as some sort of distraction from any possible pain he might feel. He bobbed his head and swirled his tongue as he slid a finger inside until the first knuckle. Cas sighed loudly and ended up moaning. “Oh, Dean.” He said under his breath.

“Is it okay?” Dean asked and kissed Cas’ stomach.

“Yes. It’s great.” Cas answered, breathless. “The burning is almost inexistent. Keep going.”

Dean smiled and kissed right above Cas’ navel. He worked his lips on Castiel’s stomach and erection while his fingers stretched his entrance gently. By the time two fingers were inside him, Cas’ moans were low and quiet, almost impatient. The hand he had on Dean’s head kept caressing the side of his face and gently stroking his hair. Shivers wildly ran through Dean’s body with the light touches, keeping his own arousal up and interested.

Dean could see that he was enjoying everything, and as long as he could tell, Cas wasn’t feeling pain. He slid a finger to the side and slightly pressed it on the area where he presumed Cas’ prostate would be.

On the third movement, Cas gasped and opened his eyes just to blink them slowly. “Oh, that felt good.” He said and sighed, smiling blissfully.

With a big smile on his face, Dean pressed his finger against the gland again while he slid a third finger in. Cas moaned louder this time, closing his eyes and his hand on Dean’s hair. “Damn…” He sighed. “Dean, I need you.”

“Just a little more, babe.” Dean said and bit the soft skin of Cas’ thigh.

Dean stretched Cas’ muscles a little more, and when he decided it was enough and definitely wouldn’t hurt Cas, he lifted his body and squeezed more lube onto his fingers.

“No condom, then?” He asked and nodded after Cas shook his head. “Alright.” He smiled.

Dean spread the substance along his length and sighed with the contact. He was starting to feel a sting due to the lack of relief. Cas watched him carefully and licked his lips, the yellow lights of the bedroom reflecting on their skins made them look tanned and dreamy.

Dean placed a hand on Cas’ knee. “Uhm, it hurts less if you’re laid on your stomach and…”

“But then I won’t see you. I want to see you.” Cas cut him off and lifted his upper body.

Dean sighed in relief. “Oh thank God.” He huffed a laugh. “It would be so hard to do this without looking at you properly.”

Castiel smiled lovingly at him and took the hand Dean had on his knee to pull him closer.

Their lips touched slowly, heat spreading through their bodies like an explosion.

Cas’ hands went to his back as they kissed, squeezing his shoulder blades. Dean positioned his cock against Cas’ entrance and bit his lip before pushing inside. With a gasp, Cas broke the kiss.

They kept their faces and mouths in contact, sharing breaths and pants as their pelvis slowly got in touch.

“You good?” Dean whispered, nuzzling Cas’ cheek.

Castiel nodded and swallowed, feeling how dry his throat was.

It truly was a lot to take in. Both Dean and Cas could feel the emotions boiling right under their skins. They’d been through so much, and now they were finally together.

Together for real and for good.

With a slight move of hips and a kiss to the side of Dean’s face, Cas let him know that he could move. Dean kissed him and began working on a slow and tender rhythm, transferring his feelings into actions. The kisses were open mouthed and on the verge of absentminded. Cas’ hands danced from Dean’s back to his hair and neck, caressing his ear and jaw as their mouths continued touching.

“You can move faster if you like.” Cas whispered against Dean’s lips, lifting his feet and placing both legs around Dean’s pelvis.

“It’s okay, it’s good for me like this.” Dean answered and kissed Cas’ bottom lip. “This is all so amazing, Cas… you feel good.” He whispered with a smile and lowered his head to kiss the side of Cas’ neck.

They kept the slow rhythm, caressing each other lovingly. Dean was almost pouring his heart out. He had been with a lot of people in his life but he’d never felt this intensity and intimacy before.

He moved his knees a little forward and lowered his chest completely against Cas’. Dean ran his hands along Cas’ arms to get hold of his hands and place them on the pillow on the sides of Cas’ head. With the new position, Cas’ erection was almost trapped between their bodies, so he left a deep moan of satisfaction come out of his throat and Dean kissed the side of his face, tightening his fingers around Cas’.

“This feels so good, Dean.” The smile on Cas’ lips could be heard. “Keep going, I feel so close.” He pulled Dean’s hands further up on the pillow, almost touching the headboard.

“Anything you want, babe.” Dean kissed under Cas’ ear and weakly bit his earlobe.

Dean slightly sped up the pace of his thrusts and hungrily kissed Cas’ neck and jaw while Cas panted against his ear and kissed the side of his face whenever the angle was right.

“I’m so close, Cas.” Dean whispered and lifted his head to look Cas in the eye. “Can I touch you?” He asked, looking down at their bodies flushed together and then back at the blue eyes.

“Please.” Cas answered and let go of Dean’s hands.

Dean held his upper body with one arm so that he could reach for Cas’ full and aching erection. Cas’ hands touched Dean’s shoulders and he took a deep pleasured breath as Dean stroked him. It only took a few strokes and thrusts for Cas to contract all his muscles and come between them with a gasp followed by a deep loud moan.

Dean watched the blue irises disappearing slowly behind the soft eyelids and lowered his head to kiss the flushed pink lips in front of him.

Cas’ hands slid slowly toward Dean’s hips and then to the moving muscles of his ass. He held the flesh tightly and tried to move his hips upwards to keep up with Dean’s thrusts. Feeling the few squeezes and low moans against his ear, Dean came calling Cas’ name over and over.

They kept panting against each other’s skins for a couple of minutes, trying to assimilate all the feelings on their minds.

Cas shifted his head to the side to catch Dean’s lips and kiss him sweetly and leisurely.

“I’m moving in and we’re doing this every day forever.” Dean whispered against the fleshy lips and laughed, kissing them again.

Castiel laughed in response and squeezed Dean’s lower back. “Oh, how I would love that.”

Dean pecked his lips again and pulled out to lay by Cas’ side. “Ugh, this is a huge mess.”

Nodding, Cas stared at Dean’s tired eyes with love. The words were right there on his tongue, and it took every little bit of strength he had left to hold them back. The fire was slowly dying, and the candles by the sides of the bed kept burning their wax and releasing a faint scent of flowers.

“We should clean up.” Cas said quietly, his fingertips running up and down Dean’s arm. “I have wet wipes in the bathroom.”

Dean nodded and kissed Cas’ shoulder. “Will you laugh at me if I want to cuddle later?” He smiled and blushed a little.

“Absolutely not.” Cas answered and kissed his cheek before getting up. He stopped at the closet to get his pajama pants and throw Dean’s to him, then walked to the bathroom.

“Cas, uh…” Dean said after some time, sitting and looking at the open door. “You really didn’t feel any pain?”

“Not really.” Cas answered and after a few seconds appeared at the door, already in his pajama pants, wiping off the mess on his stomach. “I think my grace had a little bit to do with it.” He threw Dean the package of wipes and walked back into the bathroom.

“That’s good.” Dean said and got up. He got a wipe and cleaned himself.

“I felt only an almost imperceptible sting at first.” Cas continued. “But everything else was just…” His voice was smiling as he trailed off and smiled. “Your heart was beating really fast.”

Dean smiled and put his pajamas on. His chest was tight, heart on his throat.

He walked to the bathroom and washed his hands before reaching for his toothbrush. Cas stood by his side and did the same. They brushed their teeth while stealing glances and smiles through the mirror. The yellow shadows behind them flickering.

Cas finished first and smiled one last time before giving Dean’s lower back a gentle pat and going back to the bedroom. Dean stared at the brightness in his own eyes and smiled, nodding quickly to himself. He spat and washed his face.

Leaning against the doorframe, Dean watched as Cas pulled the blankets from under the pillows so that they could lay. His bare feet walking around the bedroom with ease.

“Hey.” Dean said. Cas raised his chin and looked at him, lifting both eyebrows. “I love you.”

Cas’ eyes softened and he swallowed before smiling sincerely. “I love you too.” He huffed an emotional laugh and straightened his back, standing properly.

Dean smiled big and walked to him.

Castiel immediately hugged him tight and kissed his lips. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean sighed and kept smiling. “You have no idea, Cas.” He said, kissing Cas’ cheeks, nose, forehead and chin. “I love you so fucking much. Sometimes it hurts.”

Castiel nodded and leaned into the touches. “I know the feeling.” He returned the kisses and hugged Dean again, massaging his bare back. “For so long.”

“I’m sorry for being a constipated ass about my feelings.” Dean murmured.

“Don’t be.” Cas answered. “You’re here now.” He caressed Dean’s back one last time and stepped back. “C’mon, let’s sleep.”

They laid side by side after blowing out the candles. Cas turned the lamps off and placed his head on Dean’s right biceps.

“You really are moving in?” Castiel whispered, fingers drumming on Dean’s chest.

“First thing tomorrow.” Dean kissed Cas’ head. “Maybe third, I’m gonna need coffee and some touches first.”

They both laughed and Cas shifted to look at Dean. “Sleep well, Dean.” He said. “I love you.”

Dean smiled and pecked Cas’ lips. “Night, babe.” He said and then kissed him again. “I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that you can always leave comments if you're comfortable with doing so :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here: have some strong fluff to distract you from how dead Castiel is...
> 
> Oh and the song that is sang in this chapter is called 'The Best Of My Love', by Eagles.

 

Castiel woke up to the smell of bacon. He blinked slowly and covered his eyes from the brightness of the window. Dean wasn’t there… _apparently he changed his mind about the touches he said he’d need_ , Cas thought, sliding his hand on Dean’s pillow.

After yawning, he sat and ran his fingers through his hair. His body felt heavy and still extremely tired, but the clock warned it was almost 11 am so he definitely needed to get up.

Cas went to the bathroom for a shower. He soaped his hair and massaged his scalp to make the beginning of a headache go away. He managed to smile when he remembered the previous night. Everything went so well… he and Dean had a great night and he finally heard the words he didn’t know he yearned to listen.

Things seemed to be falling into place now. So maybe Jack could come live with them in a near future.

Cas brushed his teeth and put his pajama pants back on before heading to the kitchen.

Dean was humming while he prepared what looked like sandwiches. The table was a huge mess, filled with scattered ingredients and the stove had three different dirty pans on it.

Castiel walked silently until he was right behind Dean. He felt Dean’s small jolt of surprise as he hugged his chest and kissed the back of his neck. “Good morning.” Cas said and rested his head on Dean’s back.

“Morning, babe.” Dean answered and caressed Cas’ arms.

Cas let go of him and stood by his side to kiss his lips.

“How’re you feeling?” Dean asked, flipping the slices of bacon inside the pan.

“Really good.” Castiel answered and nuzzled Dean’s shoulder. “What about you? I know I didn’t do much for you last night and… I’m sorry.” He stepped back.

“Are you kidding me?” Dean’s eyes widened and he turned off the stove to look at Cas. “Shit, you did so much I actually felt bad for not planning the night as you did.”

Cas frowned and shook his head.

“You cooked an amazing dinner and prepared your bedroom…”

“ _Our_ bedroom.” Castiel interrupted him.

Dean blinked in surprise and smiled for a second. “You prepared _our_ bedroom and made everything so perfect, Cas.” He continued. “All I did was buy some wine.”

Dean shrugged and looked out the window.

“Now I’m here trying to make you something special but all I’m making is a huge mess.” He huffed a laugh and shook his head.

Castiel smiled and took one of Dean’s hands. “That’s not true.” He said and Dean looked at him. “You bought me flowers, you made me feel really safe and wanted for the first time. Also… you had sex with me.” He smirked and Dean laughed. “The only truth about what you said is the mess, really.” Cas pointed to their side.

They both laughed.

“Don’t ever think you don’t do enough, Dean.” Castiel continued and then hugged him. He smiled as he stepped back to take some things off the table so that they could eat.

“So, uh…” Dean started some time later as they placed the dishes in the dishwasher. “This week when I stayed at the bunker, I was putting my stuff into boxes.” He said. “Maybe we could go get them and bring them here?”

Dean turned around and saw Cas leaning against the table holding the dirty cutlery.

“Sure.” Castiel said, biting both lips to prevent a big smile from showing. “That would be nice.” The corner of his lips escaped from his control.

“I know you don’t want to go to the bunker, so you can wait in the car if you want.” Dean smiled a little.

“I… uhm.” Cas took a deep breath and straightened his back. “I should go with you, I… _have_ to go with you.”

“You sure?” Dean asked, lifting both eyebrows.

“Yes.” Castiel nodded. “I can’t avoid my problems.”

“I’ll be there with you so if you start to feel uncomfortable we can just leave.” Dean said with a steady voice, assuring him.

Castiel nodded again and smiled.

“Alright then, I’ll take a quick shower.” Dean winked at him and walked to the bedroom.

 

***

 

One hour later Dean was unlocking the door to the bunker with Castiel behind him, hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts and an uneasy expression on his face.

The door creaked and Dean stepped in. Cas took a deep breath before following him slowly, and when they reached down the stairs, he took Dean’s hand.

Dean looked at Cas and smiled, squeezing his hand in assurance.

“The boxes are in my bedroom, but I wanna show you something first.” He said and walked with Cas through the hallway.

Castiel tried to keep his mind on helping Dean and not on the things that the bunker reminded him of. His chest was a little tight but so was Dean’s hand on his and that was really soothing.

They stopped by a room far in the maze that was the bunker. Cas had been in that area before, but never inside the rooms.

“Every time I needed time to myself in the past few years, I came here.” Dean said as he opened the door.

It was a music room and the lights reveled countless instruments neatly standing at their places. Guitars, basses, flutes, trumpets, tubas, accordions, saxophones, keyboards, drums, pianos, tambourines… a whole orchestra.

Castiel’s eyes widened and he looked around. “This is really beautiful. What do you play?”

“I play the guitar.” Dean said as they entered the room. “And a couple of songs on the piano.”

“Really?” Cas smiled at him and sat in an armchair by the wall. “That’s nice. When did you learn?”

“Sammy and I stayed at Sioux Falls for eight months once, and I joined the school band.” Dean answered, sitting at one piano bench with a nostalgic smile. “I was like… thirteen I guess.”

Castiel watched as Dean passed his fingers over the keys without pressing them.

“I knew how to play Hey Jude ‘cause mom taught me, and then the teacher decided I was the piano player.” Dean laughed and looked at Cas. “Sam doesn’t even know about that.”

“Is this what you wanted to show me?” Cas asked and indicated the room with his index finger.

“Yeah… I mean, sort of.” Dean scratched the back of his neck and looked down. “There’s a song that I, uhm…” He cleared his throat. “There’s this song I like, and I wanted to play it for you.”

“Oh.” Castiel said and swallowed thick, emotions climbing their way to his eyes. “That’s very nice of you.” He continued with a weak voice.

Dean looked at him and smiled before placing his fingers over specific keys and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath and pressed down, forming the first chords.

His fingers touched the keys lightly, gently, carefully. The passion flowing from his heart to the strings.

“ _Every night I'm lyin' in bed. Holdin' you close in my dreams. Thinkin' about all the things that we said. And comin' apart at the seams. We try to talk it over. But the words come out too rough. I know you were tryin' to give me the best of your love._ ” Dean sang, his voice low and almost muffled by the chords.

Castiel sighed emotionally, feeling a huge wave of affection for Dean. He got up and walked to sit by his side on the bench.

Dean continued whispering the lyrics, filling them with perfect notes. Cas placed his left arm around his back, settling his hand on Dean’s waist. He watched the skilled fingers playing with the keys.

The green eyes were glued to the yellowish keys, following every movement and chords to make sure they were right. The words came easily, as if they’d been by Dean’s tongue for a long time just waiting for the right person to be sang to.

“ _You get the best of my love._ ” He continued, Cas’ fingers slowly caressing his waist. “ _Every night and day, you get the best of my love. Oh, sweet darlin' you get the best of my love.”_

Castiel looked at Dean’s profile, and Dean lifted his eyes from the piano to look at Cas as he sang the last few words.

_“Oh, sweet darlin' you get the best of my love…”_

The last notes echoed through the room and out the hallway.

“That’s a beautiful song.” Castiel whispered with his eyes fixed on Dean’s.

Dean smiled and nodded slightly.

“You’re very talented.” Cas said, his fingers caressing Dean’s waist.

“I love you.” Dean said, blushing but ignoring the praise.

“I love you, Dean.” Castiel answered and leaned forward to kiss him.

Their lips slid against each other for a few minutes, hands on necks and waists, wandering. With gentle pecks, they parted their lips and stared at each other for some seconds.

“C’mon.” Dean said, taking Cas’ hand to pull him up. “Let’s get my stuff and go home.”

Castiel smiled and nodded, feeling an incredible sense of happiness for being able to live moments like that.

 

***

 

Cas didn’t look too much around. He went from Dean’s bedroom to the truck quickly, holding the boxes tight.

When they finished, Castiel sat behind the wheel and waited while Dean locked the door.

“So… you alright?” Dean asked, staring worriedly at him when he got in.

Cas nodded and started the car. “I tried not to think too much and just focus on what I needed to do.”

“That’s good.” Dean smiled and gave his thigh a gentle tap.

They drove back to the house and started unpacking slowly, the boxes occupying the space behind the couch. Dean didn’t have much but it was enough for them to have to sit and decide where to put his belongings.

Some pictures went to the shelf on the living room, others to the kitchen shelf and two were placed over the dresser at their room. One of them was of Dean and Cas sitting on the hood of the Impala holding beers and talking, and the other was a shot of them smiling at each other at a diner. Sam had taken both when they weren’t looking.

Dean brought some books but they had to stay piled beside the living room bookshelf due to the lack of space. Around 9 pm they decided to leave the boxes of clothes for the following day, so they ordered pizza and sat together to continue watching their latest addiction.

“I didn’t know moving was so exhausting.” Dean said, caressing Cas’ shoulder.

“I did.” Cas chuckled, his laugh tickling Dean’s chest. “I didn’t have much when I moved in here but buying things and finding a place for them is really tiring too.”

“You said the furniture was already here, right? The old lady left you everything?” Dean asked.

“Yes, Janette left me everything. But I bought some stuff too.” Castiel answered. “Like our bed, the television, the bookshelf behind the bed… oh and this couch too.”

“Amazing bed by the way.” Dean said and squeezed Cas’ shoulder, nuzzling his hair.

“I like it better when you’re there with me.” Cas murmured.

“Hm, is that so?” Dean shifted and held Cas’ chin to lift his head for a lazy kiss.

Their tongues met and moved together languidly, mouths wet and warm. Castiel lifted his body and straddled Dean’s lap, placing both hands on his shoulders without breaking the kiss.

Dean leaned forward and deepened the kiss while running his hands on Cas’ back under his shirt.

Castiel sighed and leaned back, Dean chasing his lips immediately.

“We need to shower before bed, we smell like dust.” Cas said breathlessly as he got up. “You know where to find me.”

“C’mon, Cas!” Dean whined, looking at Cas walking to the hallway. “Shower sex is really complicated!”

“There’s more than one way to have sex!” Castiel yelled in return, smiling at himself.

“Fuck.” Dean mumbled as he clumsily turned the TV off and ran in the dark to the bedroom, taking his shirt off on the way.

He took his pants off before trying to open the bathroom door, but it was locked.

“Cas…” Dean whined again, leaning his forehead against the door. “Cas, buddy, please don’t leave me hanging!”

The door opened and Dean stumbled forward, still holding the doorknob. When he steadied himself, he noticed the very naked Castiel standing in front of him, arms crossed against his chest.

“ _Buddy_?” Cas asked, squinting in anger.

“Shit.” Dean muttered, eyes wide. “Sorry. I’m so sorry… I meant babe, smoking hot angel, sex god, whatever you prefer.”

Castiel kept squinting at him until his arms fell to his sides, Dean’s eyes following the movement and then locking on the hardening erection in between. He swallowed thick and took his boxer briefs in a swift move, freeing his interested cock. Dean surged forward, crowding Cas’ space and kissing him hard.

Their bodies were glued from chest to knees, fighting to get even closer. Cas’ hands gripped Dean’s lower back as he led them to the shower stall, the water already running to warm-up.

Castiel pushed Dean under the water, breaking their kiss. Dean startled and blinked in surprise as Cas laughed a little.

“You’re so lucky you’re hot.” Dean mumbled, taking the excess of water from his face and pecking Cas’ lips.

“ _You_ are lucky you’re hot… _buddy_.” Castiel sassed.

They took turns under the water to make their skin wet, then Dean turned Cas around and massaged his back with soapy hands, pressing his fingers on the curves of his neck.

Castiel moaned. “That’s so nice.” He said.

“Yeah?” Dean asked with a smirk and kissed below Cas’ ear before rinsing his back.

Castiel hummed in agreement and reached for one of Dean’s hands. He leaned back until he was completely against Dean’s body, ass pressing against the growing erection behind him. He placed Dean’s hand around his cock and squeezed it before lifting his arm to hold onto the wall.

The warm water ran down their right side as they moved together.

“Wait.” Dean whispered and his hand stopped moving. He turned Cas around and caught his stare. “Let’s do it together.”

Castiel smiled and nodded before their lips caught each other again. The water kept on washing their side, tickling their sensitive and aroused skin. Dean gently positioned their bodies so that he could stroke them both at once. Their hands worked together, exactly as they did on their first time.

As the strokes fastened, their kisses became pants and breaths against one another’s mouths. Low moans filling the bathroom as the steam spread around.

Feeling the way Cas’ chest was rising fast, Dean worked his hand on the heads of their joined erections, teasing and massaging the sensitive skin while Cas kept stroking their lengths.

Two more movements were enough to make them come on each other’s chests. Cas broke the kiss and lifted his chin up as he breathed deep. Dean bit the side of his neck and groaned, letting go of their cocks to hug Cas’ back tight.

“Shower sex is not _that_ complicated…” Castiel whispered and blinked slowly.

Dean laughed. “Yeah. I’m glad you proved me wrong, babe.”

They finished washing their bodies and soon were preparing the bed.

Cas went to get some water and double-check the windows and doors. When he got back Dean was already under the covers, eyes closed, the only light being the lamps above the bed.

“I believe you are enjoying your first night as an official dweller of this house…” Cas said as he placed the cup on the chair.

Dean hummed in agreement. “You can say that.” He smiled sleepily.

Castiel tucked himself in and looked at Dean’s happy face. They reached each other’s hands between their bodies and leaned in for a kiss.

“Night, babe. I love you.” Dean said and squeezed Cas’ fingers.

“I love you, Dean. Sleep well.”

That day ended up being considered the beginning of a new chapter of their lives. Together.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with deancas happiness to make it up for the episodes :)

 

It was a rainy Sunday morning. Neither of them got up to make coffee this time, the laziness being too intense and incapacitating.

Castiel was the first one to stir. His arm was numb and trapped under Dean’s neck, the soft hair brushing on his shoulder. He yawned and looked down, watching the lines on Dean’s face. His freckles were evident, painting his clear skin. Cas knew they had their own system of display, but he couldn’t figure it out.

“You’re staring.” Dean mumbled without opening his mouth or his eyes.

“I had no choice.” Castiel sighed a laugh and kissed Dean’s temple. “My arm is stuck under you.”

“Sorry.” Dean lifted his head slightly and Castiel took his arm from under him.

“Don’t worry.” Cas said and slid his body down so that his face was in front of Dean’s. “I like the way you wrap yourself around me in your sleep. It’s nice.”

Dean opened one eye and hummed.

“Are you feeling okay?” Cas asked and placed the back of his hand on Dean’s forehead and then on his cheek.

“Yeah, just lazy and a little tired.” Dean said and leaned against Cas’ hand. “Can we do nothing today?”

“Of course.” Cas answered and leaned forward to peck Dean’s lips and nuzzle his cheek.

They slept for two more hours, relishing on each other’s scents and touches of skin.

Around 1 pm, Castiel was folding clean laundry on the couch as he and Dean watched TV.

“Dean.” Cas called and Dean hummed in agreement. “Do you remember when I told you that Loraine offered me the job as manager?”

Dean muted the TV and turned to Cas. “Yeah. She’s moving away, right?”

Castiel nodded. “I was thinking about accepting it.” He said, neatly folding a t-shirt. “But I don’t have official documents. She was nice enough to give me the job without me having them… but if I’m going to accept this opportunity, I want to do it right.”

“Yeah.” Dean sat properly and nodded, tapping his fingertips on the backrest. “I think Sam still knows how to do that stuff… I wish we could do it officially but we might get in trouble for Jimmy’s disappearance and death.”

“I know that.” Cas pursed his lips. “I don’t mind doing it unofficially as long as I have some sort of identification. Do you think Sam can help me?”

“I’ll call him.” Dean smiled at him and reached for his arm to caress it gently.

“Tell him that I can pay for it.” Castiel said, worried.

“You won’t have to.” Dean said. “Family, remember?”

Castiel nodded. After some seconds, he lifted his head and let go of the clothes. “And, uh… do _you_ think I should accept it?” He asked with raised eyebrows, looking seriously into Dean’s eyes.

Dean looked back at him and shrugged. “Yeah, Cas.” He said and smiled. “I think you should because I _really_ want you to be happy and as far as I can tell, you love your job.”

“But what about the responsibilities?” Cas asked and sighed.

“You can do it… believe me.” Dean assured him. “Haven’t you been doing Loraine’s job for a while now?”

Castiel nodded in response.

“So the only changes will be more money and less hours at the store.” Dean shifted and sat over both his legs. “I think you should go for it… you want to make yourself a garden outside and have Jack around more often, don’t you? That’s a good opportunity to work for that.”

“Yeah I want to have a family and live with a little tranquility for once in my existence.” Cas said, going back to the t-shirts. “But it’s not just that, I… I also want to spend more time with you.”

Dean’s eyes shot up. “Oh, I… I can stop working the extra shifts.” He shrugged. “I don’t get money from them.” Cas frowned in question and Dean continued. “I just worked more hours ‘cause if I stayed at the bunker I’d go mad thinking about you.”

“What?” Cas asked and huffed a laugh in genuine disbelief.

“I was still avoiding my feelings before I asked you out, kinda trying to hold them behind some wall in my head.” Dean explained, fumbling with the remote. “It was really messed up ‘cause I kept telling myself I wasn’t in love with you but at the same time all I could do was think about you.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way.” Castiel murmured, avoiding Dean’s eyes.

“I lost count of how many times Sam yelled at me for being distracted.” Dean laughed and Cas looked at him.

“I’m so glad we finally stopped pretending and ignoring our feelings.” Cas said, placing the empty basket on the floor. He leaned forward on his hands and knees to kiss Dean’s lips. “We certainly have a lot of them.”

Dean held Cas’ wrist gently to prevent him from sitting back. “Yeah we do.” He said against Cas’ lips before kissing him again.

Later that day, they went to Sam’s house to work on the documents. Castiel deeply lamented the fact that Eileen had just left, but Sam told him that on the following weekend she would be living there already, so they could all have lunch together.

Castiel left with new documents and a tingling of happy anxiety in his stomach. Dean made sure to make him tea and help him release some endorphins before bedtime.

 

***

 

Castiel arrived home on November 2nd with a big smile. He’d just signed the papers that made him the store’s official manager.

He closed the front door and locked it as usual. He could hear the faint noises of the TV in the living room so he knew that Dean was there. “Dean?” He called, taking his sneakers off.

There was no answer.

Cas hanged his messenger bag on the wall and walked to the other room. He smiled as he saw Dean asleep on the couch, his back to the TV, still wearing his work clothes that were stained with oil and grease. Cas carefully laid by his side, hugging him from behind.

“Cas?” Dean mumbled and sighed.

Castiel hummed in agreement and kissed the back of Dean’s neck.

“Why did you come home so late?” Dean asked. It was past 9 pm.

“I was signing the documents that made me manager.” Cas smiled against his skin.

“Really?” Dean’s voice woke up a little and he turned around to face Cas.

Castiel nodded quickly and kissed Dean.

“I’m so proud of you, babe. I love you.” Dean said as he hugged Cas’ back and caressed his left shoulder blade. “And I totally would have celebratory sex with you right now if I wasn’t tired as hell.”

“I love you, Dean. And don’t worry.” Cas laughed and nuzzled Dean’s cheek. “I’m really tired, too… maybe tomorrow before work.”

“Hmm yes, Mr. Manager.” Dean kissed the side of Cas’ face.

They showered and ate cookies in bed before falling asleep on a comfortable hug, Dean whispering praises against Cas’ skin.

 

***

 

It was incredibly easy for them to fall into a nice routine, to start being honest to each other, to let their walls fall.

The alarm beeped at 7:15 from Monday to Friday. They showered together when in a good mood, ate breakfast and left the house at 8 am. Sometimes Dean drove Cas to work and picked him up at 4 pm.

The grocery shopping was now made together, as well as the house cleaning. They took turns on laundry days and spent their free time watching TV or reading side by side.

Usually they prepared their lunches and dinners, but sometimes they went to a restaurant or a diner together, and other times they ordered takeout and stayed in to watch a movie.

They also had sex every day unless the fatigue was too intense, and they always fell asleep touching each other in some way. Sometimes hugging, others just holding hands, cuddling after fooling around, back resting against back, legs wrapped together.

It was soothing and comfortable, but most of all… safe.

Dean didn’t need to sleep with a knife under his pillow anymore. At first, he placed it in the nightstand and then under the bed, but one day he woke up and decided the best option was to tuck it in a box inside the closet. Cas’ angel blade stayed in his trenchcoat by the door since he started living there. They had holy water and salt under their bed, with another angel blade, but most of the time they didn’t even remember it was there.

On November 15, three weeks after he moved in, Dean arrived from work a little early. He left baby on the street because he and Cas had to go to Sam’s house later for dinner.

Cas’ truck was already in the garage. Dean found it strange and walked in the house, locking behind him. “Cas?” He called but got no answer.

Castiel wasn’t in the kitchen or in the living room. Dean left his keys, wallet and phone on the counter and walked towards their bedroom. The door was closed and as he reached for the knob he heard an appreciative hum coming from inside followed by a series of muffled moans.

Before he could feel any sort of panic, Dean opened the door slowly and saw Cas laying on his side, head propped on his hand, squinting at the noisy computer.

“Hey, babe.” Dean said, almost questioning.

Startled, Cas gasped and immediately closed the laptop. “Dean.” He said with his right hand on his chest. “You scared me.” He laid on his back to continue panting.

“What are you doing?” Dean laughed and sat by his side after taking his boots off.

“Nothing.” Cas answered, swallowing thick.

Dean tried to reach for the computer but Cas held him back. Something clicked in his mind. “Wait… were you watching porn?”

“No!” Cas yelled, looking away. Dean touched his chin to make him look back. He lifted both eyebrows in question and stared into Cas’ eyes, a knowing smirk in his lips. “Yes.” Castiel murmured, giving up.

Dean laughed quietly.

“What?” Cas asked, getting angry. “This isn’t funny, Dean.”

“Why are you hiding it?” Dean asked as he immediately stopped laughing, but continued grinning. “I told you it’s okay to watch porn.”

“I know.” Castiel said, sitting and leaning against the headboard. “I just didn’t want you to think that I’m not pleased with our sex life and needed further stimulation.”

“Then why were you watching?” Dean asked, curious.

“Visual research.” Cas shrugged. “I told you I don’t know how to give you blow jobs.” He said with honesty. “You have been so good to me and I haven’t done anything in return.”

“Wait, wait… this is not a trade, Cas.” Dean sat by his side and placed his arm around Cas’ shoulders. “You don’t own me anything. Everything I do, I do it because I know we’ll both like it.”

“I know, Dean.” Cas looked down at his lap and shook his head. “I expressed myself poorly. What I mean is that I want to do to you the same things that you do to me… I want to be on top sometimes, I want to prepare you and make you feel good.”

Dean nodded and took Cas’ hand.

“Unless you don’t want me to do the same things and…” Cas frowned a little.

“Believe me, babe.” Dean huffed a laugh and smirked. “I want you to do the same things.”

Cas smiled and pecked Dean’s lips.

“Can I see what you were watching?” Dean asked, massaging Cas’ thumb.

Hesitantly, Castiel reached for the laptop and opened it, placing the object over his tights. It was just regular porn, things that Dean had already watched and Cas had probably found in his browsing history.

“I did written research but I thought maybe a recording could help me understand from a different perspective.” Cas said and pressed play.

Two young men were barebacking while facing each other. They occasionally kissed and dirty talked. Dean restarted the video. One of the guys was sitting on the end of the bed while the other one was knelt between his legs, taking the guy’s hard cock inside his mouth.

“You can get the main moves by watching porn, but some things you’ll only learn with your partner.” Dean said, still caressing Cas’ hand. “For example, I don’t really like when the mouth action only starts when I’m already rock hard. A little teasing and foreplay is nice.”

Castiel nodded, eyes fixed on the way the man’s lips moved skillfully.

“Oh, and you only take what you can get. If you feel your reflexes calling, slow down and use your hands.” Dean continued and then pointed to the screen. “Also we can both be on the bed like I do with you, you know? Then your knees won’t hurt.”

“What about when they give each other blow jobs at the same time?” Cas asked. He had seen that on the other videos.

“We can do that too when you’re comfortable enough.” Dean said, ignoring the images and looking at Cas. “I’ve never done that before, though.”

Castiel smiled and looked back at the video quickly. “Oh, and on porn they’re always prepared previously, right?” He pointed to the men that were now having penetrative sex.

“Yeah.” Dean answered, nodding. “They don’t really show the prep part unless it’s an amateur video or if it involves rimming.”

Cas lifted his hand and waved a circle in front of his mouth area. “It’s the tongue thing, right?”

Dean squeezed Cas’ shoulder. “You know pretty much everything, babe.” He said and kissed Cas’ cheek. “We’ll work on the details while we’re actually doing it.”

The pair kept moving together and moaning on the screen.

“You wanna try?” Dean asked and kissed Cas’ shoulder. They were both already visibly stimulated from watching the video together and talking simply about sex like that. “We have a couple of hours until the dinner.”

Castiel’s eyes sparkled in interest. He nodded and closed the laptop, placing it on the chair.

Dean placed his hand on Cas’ hips to pull him closer, his fingers sliding under the white work shirt and feeling the warm, soft skin. Their lips crashed together, open and wanting. Castiel sat on Dean’s legs while he opened the buttons of the dirty gray uniform. He slid the shirt down Dean’s arms and dropped it to the floor.

Breathing heavily, Dean tried to take Cas’ shirt off but the lips on his neck and collarbone were keeping him from moving forward. His hands unconsciously went to the dark hair brushing on his chin, and Cas hummed in appreciation.

Cas’ pelvis was thrusting against Dean’s, unwittingly. Dean held Cas’ waist and slid down on the bed to lay on his back, Cas sliding too to stay above him.

With quick movements, Castiel undid all the buttons of his own shirt while Dean attentively watched and caressed the recently emerged spaces of skin. Cas undid the button and zipper on Dean’s jeans and moved to the side to slide them down his legs along with his boxers. Dean lifted his hips to help, and continued watching as Cas took his own pants and underwear off too.

Every garment found its place on the floor as Cas kissed and nipped Dean’s stomach, positioning himself between his folded legs.

“So good Cas.” Dean mumbled, his nerves shooting fireworks that exploded in his brain with every touch. “Your lips are so fucking good.” He sighed.

With one last kiss over the freckles on Dean’s navel, Castiel moved further down. One hand closed around Dean’s soft thigh as the other gently reached his length. Cas’ fingers barely touched him, arousing the skin with its light trail. His tongue went slowly from the base to the head of Dean’s half-hard cock and he sucked on the tip a couple of times before trying to lower his head.

Moans and ragged breaths were coming out of Dean’s throat against his will. Cas’ mouth was warm and deliciously velvety just as he suspected, he was already incredibly hard. He felt when the hand Cas’ had on him closed firmly and stroked a couple of times.

“Yes.” Dean mumbled. “Just like that.” His eyes were closed tight, fingers wrapped in Cas’ hair.

With confidence, Castiel started moving a little faster, bobbing his head and using his hand to stimulate the base of Dean’s cock. His other hand left Dean’s thigh to touch his balls. Dean moaned louder and bucked his hips, sliding further into Cas’ mouth.

“Shit!” He said and panted a couple times before caressing the side of Cas’ face and dropping both hands to the bed. “Sorry, babe.” His eyes continued closed, glued with pleasure.

Cas looked up and felt proud for making Dean feel like that. His mouth let go of Dean’s cock and he continued to stroke him with his hand while he spread some saliva on his own thumb. He’d seen guys doing that on porn and decided to try, if Dean didn’t enjoy it, he’d say.

Dean was breathing faster within the second, his hand gripping the bedspread tightly. “Hmm. It feels so good, Cas.” He whispered. “Keep going just like that.”

When his thumb was slick enough, Castiel’s lips went back to Dean’s cock and he relaxed his throat to take him a little deeper. Every bob of his head eliciting a different pleasured moan from Dean.

Cas reached his own aching erection and started stroking it on the same rhythm as his head worked on Dean. He fumbled with Dean’s balls one more time and slid his wet thumb down between his ass cheeks, gently pressing against his entrance.

“Fuck, yes!” Dean groaned and his cock throbbed inside Cas’ mouth, leaking uncontrollably.

Castiel hummed in appreciation. He bobbed his head and massaged Dean’s sensitive entrance only a couple more times before Dean sighed deeply and shot his load down Cas’ throat, calling his name prolongedly.

Cas lifted his head and sat on his ankles, still stroking his own cock. Dean opened his eyes just in time to catch sight of Cas licking some come from his bottom lip with his eyes closed. He seemed lost in feelings, firmly stroking himself.

Dean lifted himself up and stood on his knees in front of Cas. He kissed the so loved chapped lips passionately; tongue teasing Cas’ with need. He could feel the fast motions of Cas hand eagerly looking for release, so he leaned closer to Cas’ body, lips going to his neck to deliver some kisses and bites.

Winding his left arm around Dean’s neck, Castiel drowned in the feelings and let the knot on his lower stomach undo itself and explode pleasure through his veins and over his chest.

Castiel rested his head on Dean’s, panting.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean sighed a laugh and held Cas’ body so that they could lay side by side. “That was hot.”

Cas hummed and nuzzled Dean’s neck. “Did I do it right?”

“Amazingly right.” Dean turned his head and his lips met Cas’ for a peck. “So good I almost died.”

“That doesn’t sound right.” Castiel huffed a laugh and kissed Dean back.

“Seriously though… I loved it, babe.”

“I loved it too.” Cas’ fingertips brushed Dean’s skin from his hipbone to his ass.

“And that move by the end…” Dean whistled and lightly shook his head.

Cas chuckled. “I wasn’t sure you’d like that.”

“I never said it because I don’t wanna pressure you, but I really like bottoming.” Dean disclosed.

“Well then we’ll have to try that soon.” Cas promised and placed his hand on the arm Dean had on his shoulder.

“I wish we didn’t have to go to that stupid dinner.” Dean said and sighed.

“It’s not stupid, Dean.” Castiel said, rectifying him. “It’s important to Sam and he wants us to be there.”

“But we barely even know those people.” Dean insisted. “Only Sammy and Eileen. We’ll probably end up hiding in the kitchen.”

“Sam wouldn’t have invited us if he thought we wouldn’t get along with his coworkers.” Cas said and caressed Dean’s stomach. “Let’s give it a chance, alright? If we don’t get along with them we can come back home.”

“Fine.” Dean mumbled.

“Great.” Cas said and held himself up on his elbows. “Now go take a shower and then find something nice to wear. Eileen said casual.”

After an almost annoyed sigh, Dean got up. “Wanna join me?” He said as he walked in the bathroom.

“In a minute.” Cas answered and also got up, taking their clothes from the floor and placing them over the loveseat couch by the fireplace.

 

***

 

Dinner at Sam and Eileen’s house happened to be less awkward than they expected.

Dean and Cas stayed together trying to make small talk with Sam’s colleagues. They bashfully answered some questions about how they had met and ended up dating.

It was so weird. So _mundane_.

“Cas used to work on my dad Bobby’s farm, and I stayed there during the summer nine years ago. We met when I went in the barn to get some hay.” Dean said, caressing Cas’ waist and looking at him lovingly.

“I already knew him, but he didn’t know that.” Castiel completed, smiling back. “It took us nine years to finally accept that what we had was more than friendship and brotherhood.”

Everyone made comments about how they made a cute couple and how cute their story was.

Eileen prepared some nice dishes and served them with a smile, eyes sparkling whenever she saw Sam laughing. Castiel helped her with the wine as an excuse to get to know her. She was important to Sam and he genuinely wanted to be friends with her.

Everyone seemed nice and simple. They all worked with Sam at the school and were very well studied but despite that, talked about daily topics. Dean was thankful that it wasn’t like those dinners where people talked only about work or the latest book of some John Doe he never heard of.

He was incredibly happy for Sam. His brother looked well and rested, his hand around Eileen’s shoulder signaling his bliss.

Dean searched for Cas’ hand under the table and held it tight, grateful for all the changes they’ve been through because they were all happy now.

They were all living.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to give a shout out to my friend Caroline that has been here since the beginning and never fails to cheer me up! Love ya, girl ♡


	17. Chapter 17

On those few weeks of them living together, Castiel had noticed that some days after he and Dean spend some time cuddling on the couch or after they talked about something that involved emotions, and even once after they had sex, Dean would stay away from him for some time.

Cas would find him chopping wood on the back of the house even though he knew they didn’t need more firewood. In another occasion, Dean was outside fumbling with the hoe, and they had just prepared the soil the day before. Dean also started to stay more in the garage, bending over the Impala and always doing something to the engine.

Cas was in the shower when something in his mind clicked, gathering all of those happenings to make him realize that maybe Dean’s behavior wasn’t only him trying to adjust to a new lifestyle. Despite knowing that something was up, Cas decided not to say anything and give Dean a little more time, and if things didn’t change, he would talk to him and ask what was happening.

“Babe your phone’s ringing!” Dean yelled from the kitchen as he rinsed a plate and woke Cas from his turbulent thoughts.

“Can you answer it for me?” Cas yelled back. “I’ll be out of the shower in a minute.”

Dean shook his hands and dried it partially on the dishcloth. Cas’ phone was buzzing on the counter with Jody’s name on the screen. He pressed the answer option. “Hey Jodes.” He said with a smile.

“ _Dean?_ ” She asked, confused.

“Yeah, Cas is in the shower, he’ll be right out.”

“ _Uhm._ ” Jody said and cleared her throat. “ _Alright._ ”

“How are you?” Dean leaned against the counter.

“ _I’m good._ ” She answered. “ _Yeah, pretty good. What about you? You sound happier than usual._ ”

Dean huffed a laugh. “That’s ‘cause I am.” He said. “Turns out being domestic does that to you.”

“ _Huh, tell me about it._ ” Jody said and then paused for a second. “ _So… what are you doing at Cas’?_ ”

“Wait, Jack didn’t say anything?” Dean frowned.

“ _He was supposed to say something?_ ” Jody asked in return.

“Maybe? I don’t know. I mean, I…” Dean stopped himself as he saw Cas coming in the kitchen with only a towel around his waist, hair damp.

“Who is it?” Castiel asked with his eyebrows lifted, eyes wide.

“Jody.” Dean mumbled, eyeing the water drops on the soft chest in front of him.

“Oh, good. I needed to talk to her.” Cas said and took the phone from Dean. “Hi, Jody, how are you?”

“ _Hey, Cas. I’m great._ ” She said. “ _What about you? Oh, and Dean? He sounded weird._ ”

“I’m fine, thank you.” Cas said as he looked at Dean and squinted. “Well, he does look weird.”

Hearing that, Dean looked up from Cas’ body and smiled. _You’re hot._ , he mouthed. Castiel tilted his head for a second and then rolled his eyes.

“ _Anyways._ ” She sighed. “ _Thanksgiving is next week and even though we don’t really celebrate it, maybe you could all come over. Talk to Dean about it for me, would you?_ ”

“Sure! That sounds nice.” Cas nodded to himself and felt Dean’s arms coming around him from behind. “We can leave on Wednesday after work.”

“ _Yeah! That sounds great. Alex and Claire are gonna be here, Mary too._ ” She said happily. “ _Also you get to see your boy Jack for a little more than a day._ ”

“Oh, yes! It works for me. I’ll talk to Dean and give you an answer by tomorrow, okay?” Castiel said. “Thank you for the invitation, Jody.”

“ _No problem!_ ” She said. “ _I gotta go call Sam now. Oh, and Jack says hi._ ”

“Tell him that I said hi, too. And that I miss him.” Cas said. “Goodbye, Jody.”

“ _Bye Cas._ ” The line went silent.

“I guess we have plans for thanksgiving.” Castiel said and sighed a laugh.

“We do?” Dean murmured against Cas’ back.

Castiel hummed in agreement. “Jody invited us to go to Sioux Falls. Everyone will be there.”

“Sounds fun.”

“She also said you sounded weird on the phone.” Castiel continued, his voice questioning.

“Uhm…” Dean opened his arms to give Cas space to turn around and face him. “I think Jack didn’t tell her about us.”

“Really?” Castiel’s eyebrows shot up.

“Yeah. She asked me why I was here.” Dean explained.

Cas looked away and seemed to think for a second. “Maybe Jack thought he wasn’t supposed to tell people.” He looked back at Dean and shrugged. “We didn’t say he could.”

“You’re right.” Dean nodded. “Also if he had told Jody, she would’ve called me immediately.”

“Do you, uh, want to tell everyone?” Castiel asked, reaching to hold the towel around his waist.

“Of course I do, Cas.” Dean caressed Cas’ arm and pulled him closer. “I love you and I want my family to know that.” He said and kissed Cas’ plump lips.

“I’m happy to hear that, Dean.” Cas smiled and pecked Dean’s lips. “I love you.”

After stepping back, Castiel returned to the bedroom and Dean went back to washing the dishes.

As he lathered some cups, he remembered that Brad gave him the thanksgiving week off from work, and he had been thinking about going on a quick hunt... with Cas.

He had been feeling a little off on the past days, and believed that a hunt could do him some good.

In Dean’s anxious mind there weren't many positive outcomes to the situation, his negativity only made him think of Cas either accepting and them hunting together as a couple for the first time or Cas denying and trying to prevent Dean from going, which would probably start a fight. He wasn’t in the mood for sleeping on the couch though, so he decided to wait until the following morning.

Cas was always in a good mood on Saturdays.

 

***

 

It was after lunch on Saturday when Dean decided to try. Cas was putting the dirty clothes from the bathroom in a basket.

“Hey, babe.” Dean called, sitting on their bed. Castiel hummed in agreement. “I was thinking… I don’t work next week.” He shifted anxiously. “Maybe you could take the three days before Thanksgiving off from the store and we could go on a hunt before Jody’s dinner?”

Dean closed his eyes as he heard a sigh from the bathroom.

“I don’t know, Dean…” Cas said. “I don’t think I’m ready for us to be in harm’s way this soon.” He came out of the bathroom and sat on the loveseat by the fireplace, across from Dean. “We just started a different relationship and I don’t want risks.”

“We won’t risk anything, Cas.” Dean tried. “I’m serious.”

Castiel looked at him with a fond smile. “I won’t prevent you from going, Dean. Please don’t worry.” He said. “I know hunting is a big part of you and I never intend on trying to change that.”

“It’s not that, Cas… look.” Dean stopped to take a deep breath. “I wanted to hunt with you, you know? Have you there by my side ganking the son of a bitch and then drinking a beer to celebrate the win, you know?” He waved his hands in vehemence. “I also want us to complain about the lack of decent TV programs and have some sexy alone time at the motel room when we get bored from research... make up for the lost time.” He added.

Cas laughed a little and looked down.

“It’s in Sioux City. Probably a ghost.” Dean continued, his voice lower. “I got a text yesterday just before Jody called you… and there’ll be another hunter in town so we don’t have to do everything alone.”

“But you don’t work with other hunters.” Castiel squinted at him, suspicious.

“Babe, if it will make you come with me I’d work with Gandhi.” Dean huffed a laugh and Cas smiled at him.

“Can I think about this?” Cas asked.

“Of course you can.” Dean nodded quickly. “Please do.”

Castiel nodded and got up to continue with his chore as he heard Dean sighing deeply, he probably thought that was going to go way worse than it did.

As he thought about it, Castiel noticed that what he felt about the hunt was fear… He was afraid. Simple like that.

Risking their necks on a salt and burn sounded unnecessary, especially now that they just got each other. Castiel trusted Dean with his heart, he completely trusted Dean’s capacity and he wasn’t questioning his ability to end a ghost without getting hurt.

He just didn’t want to dare.

There was also the fact the he was pretty much human now and it wasn’t that ‘natural’ to just kill something anymore. As an angel, he had certain moves, unconscious and spontaneous movements that came to him during battles and helped him do what he had to. But he wasn’t completely sure he’d have them now.

He was genuinely scared of going and end up screwing things up and hurting himself and Dean.

But also Dean said he wanted Cas to go with him. He wanted them to work together. _“Have you there by my side”_ , he had said, and that sounded nice. Cas was really curious to know how things would be on a hunt with them being a couple. And maybe going on a hunt could help Dean, make him feel better and erase any possible bad feelings he might be having.

Maybe if there really were another hunter in town it wouldn’t be that dangerous after all. They could have each other’s backs and pay extra attention to everything, maybe just help with research and send this person alone to gank the ghost.

Castiel caught himself leaning against the bathroom wall and blankly staring at the laundry basket placed on the toilet seat. He sighed and reached for it before turning the lights off and walking out of the bathroom. Through the open curtain, he saw Dean outside with a hoe in hand, working on the garden again. Cas pursed his lips and walked out to go to the laundry room.

Two hours later, Castiel was hanging the garments from the second wash cycle on the clothesline outside while Dean made them tea. Dean would never admit to anyone how fond of tea he had become since he started visiting Cas’ house all those months before.

“Cas, uh.” Dean said softly. “The tea is ready.”

Castiel placed the clothespin he was holding on a t-shirt and turned around to see Dean almost hiding behind the laundry room door. Cas smiled and nodded. “Okay.” He said. “Do you mind bringing our cups over here so we can sit and talk?”

Dean nodded quickly and tried to smile. Minutes later, he returned holding a wooden tray with two cups of tea and some lemon shortbread cookies on a saucer. Cas was sitting on the bench attached to the house.

“Please, sit with me.” He said and tapped the seat by his side.

Dean placed the tray on the stall nearby and handed Cas a warm cup of tea. Cas lifted it to his nose and inhaled the steam.

“Hmm, chamomile.” He said with a smile. “I love it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean murmured in a quirk of lips and reached for his own cup.

Castiel sipped from the tea and shifted, sitting over one of his legs to be facing Dean. “Dean.” He started. “I appreciated your honesty to come and talk to me about the hunt before deciding anything by yourself. That is exactly what I expect from a relationship.”

Dean nodded and sipped his own tea.

“I have thought about what you said.” Cas continued. “Your desire of going on a hunt is understandable even if the thought alone of you hunting alone makes my stomach sick in concern and fear.” Cas huffed a laugh. “Also I’m not sure I have the agility I used to have, and that is quite daunting.”

Cas took a deep breath and reached for Dean’s hand. The birds on the woods were now singing quietly.

“I’m not sure what’s more difficult… going with you and actually see you running towards evil or staying here and wondering all the time what crazy moves you are doing.”

“I know, babe. I understand.” Dean said and pursed his lips, looking down. “I’d feel the same if tables were turned… hell, I _have_ felt the same every time you were by yourself in the past.”

Castiel’s eyes and heart softened, he caressed Dean’s hand. “I am willing to go with you.” He said and saw Dean’s eyes meeting his with a glow. “But we will have to stablish some rules and decide on some details.”

“Sure, Cas.” Dean said in a sigh of relief. “Anything you want.”

“First of all we will be absolutely prepared, carrying everything we can possibly need for the hunt. I don’t want surprises.” Castiel said and sipped more tea. Dean nodded. “Also we’re not staying at some cheap motel at the end of the town.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “What are you thinking?”

“Well, since we have our own money now, we could stay at a decent hotel. With showers that have no yellow smudges and crusts on the walls and the floor.” Cas sipped his tea again. “Beds that have sheets changed daily and don’t smell like dust and… butts.”

“So I guess you didn’t like the motels we always stayed in, huh?” Dean said and laughed.

“Not really.” Cas wrinkled his nose and laughed. “We deserve to be spoiled with a bathtub for a couple of days.”

“Oh the things you can do in a bathtub…” Dean closed his eyes and bit his lower lip.

“I can imagine.” Cas said, lovingly watching the happy lines on Dean’s face.

Dean opened his eyes and looked seriously at Cas. “I agree with your demands.” He said. “Anything else?”

“Yes.” Cas placed his cup on the tray and Dean did the same. “I don’t want reckless decisions or plans. Nothing on the lines of “it was our only chance” or “I did it so that you didn’t have to”. We’ll talk about things and do them together because the last thing I want is one of us getting hurt.”

Dean nodded.

“Promise me you can do that.” Castiel said, eyes hopeful and wavering.

“I promise.” Dean answered and took Cas’ other hand too, lacing all their fingers together. “We’ll do everything together, I swear.”

Castiel leaned his head forward and pressed his lips against Dean’s. In a second, Dean responded and let go of one of Cas’ hands to place it on the back of Cas’ neck.

Seconds later, Cas rested his forehead against Dean’s. “You said something about sexy times, right?” He said, breathless.

“Hell yes I said.” Dean answered in a laugh, pecking Cas’ lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holiday season y'all!


	18. Chapter 18

 

On Saturday night, Dean called Sam to let him know of their plans and Sam told them that he was going with Eileen to Jody’s dinner too, but they would leave on Wednesday night. Meanwhile, Cas was struggling with a website, trying to book them a hotel room for the following day. Eventually he gave up and asked Dean for help.

Minutes into their research gave them enough disagreement to start another one of their “married couple” discussions.

“Yes but I don’t understand why we have to pay almost 200 dollars every night if we can pay for something that costs like 30 bucks instead.” Dean said, exasperated as he walked to the fridge to get a beer.

“Any room that costs “30 bucks” has a very questionable quality, Dean.” Castiel answered, using air quotes as he turned on the chair to follow Dean with his eyes. “And my condition was no motels. You agreed to that.”

“Do you honestly want to spend all your salary on this?” Dean asked, leaning against the fridge and starting to sip from his bottle.

“If it means I’ll actually sleep and take a shower in a decent place, yes.” Castiel answered and reached for the glass of wine standing by the laptop on the table. “Besides, we won’t have to eat bad food, because this place has a restaurant of its own.” Cas continued, pointing to the screen with the hand he held the glass. “And there’s a good TV, and a bathtub.”

Cas looked at Dean again and didn’t miss the spark in his eyes. Dean falsely rolled his eyes and walked back to the table, kissing the top of Cas’ head before sitting by his side.

“Fine.” Dean said. “I can’t say no to you anyway…”

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said softly and leaned to kiss his lips. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

Soon they ended up with a reservation at a four-star hotel that had indoor and outdoor pools, a fancy restaurant and a nice and safe parking lot. Castiel called Patrick, Loraine and Kylee to tell them he was taking the week off, and nobody even questioned his decision, agreeing that he needed the break.

They decided to leave early on Sunday.

Dean was absolutely excited to go on the hunt and get rid of those little weird feelings in his mind, so he was doing everything he could to make it nice for him and for Cas.

Castiel packed them enough clothes for two weeks, considering that they’d be going to Jody’s house and thinking about any unforeseen circumstances. They stopped by the bunker to get the weapons and the Impala ended up filled with things to fight a huge variety of creatures.

It was a five-hour drive to Sioux City and after less than an hour on the road, Cas was already sleeping with his head leaned against the closed window. The radio was on, softly playing one of Dean’s tapes.

In Lincoln, Dean stopped to fuel and then parked at a diner.

Cas was still asleep by his side so Dean slid on the seat to be closer to him. He nuzzled Cas’ cheek and kissed the side of his face a couple of times until he stirred and sighed.

“Morning again, sunshine.” Dean chuckled at the lazy way Cas’ eyelids tried to open.

“Hmm.” Cas mumbled and blinked a couple of times. “Where are we?”

“Halfway there.” Dean answered. “I stopped at a diner, let’s eat something.”

Dean moved to sit back and get out of the car but Cas held his forearm and pulled him in for a kiss. “Good morning again.” He said against Dean’s lips and pecked them again before opening the door. “I’m sorry for sleeping so much, you can wake me up if that happens again.”

“Not a problem.” Dean got out of the car. “I think it was the first time in years that I drove and felt completely free.”

Cas stepped out and closed the door. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Dean nodded and walked to him. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you _have_ to sleep okay?” He said as he took Cas’ hand and laced their fingers together. “I like talking to you.”

“I’ll make sure to remind you of that when you grow tired of me.” Cas laughed.

“Oh c’mon you know that’s not gonna happen.” Dean said and squeezed Cas’ hand.

They walked in the diner and ordered burgers and fries, Dean with a beer and Cas with orange juice.

“Who is this said hunter that we’ll work with?” Cas asked as they ate.

“I don’t know.” Dean shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t have a name but we’re supposed to meet tomorrow at the hospital to see the victims.”

“That sounds suspicious.” Cas squinted and pursed his lips.

“Maybe… but I kinda trust Cesar. He only gave us safe cases so far.”

“Cesar from Mexico?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded. “Well, we should go and see what happens, then.”

A couple of hours later they were driving into Sioux City, and it was bright and welcoming. Dean always tried to keep his first impressions of the towns they went, fighting not to remember the bad things they saw.

Cas typed the hotel address on his phone and they followed the GPS instructions to get there.

“Holy shit!” Dean exclaimed as soon as he saw the hotel. “This is fancy as hell, Cas. You sure we’ll blend in?”

There were trees everywhere. People were walking and laughing by the lake. The sun was making the place happy and alive.

“We don’t have to blend in.” Castiel answered, smiling to the big construction. “We’re not here for that.”

Dean drove pass the parking lot entrance and stopped right at the first empty space he found. They took their duffle bags from the car and walked to the main entrance.

“Welcome!” A receptionist grinned at them. “How can I help you today?”

“We have a booked room.” Dean said with a small smile, placing his bag on the floor and reaching for his wallet to get his ID.

“Of course.” The woman, Lori as her tag said, typed on her computer and then looked at them. “Under what name?”

“Winchester.” Dean slid his document on the counter and Lori took it.

“Alright, Mr. Winchester. A Deluxe King room with a view to the river booked until Wednesday.” She read from the screen and then smiled at them. “You can enjoy our facilities whenever you like. We have directions on signs pretty much everywhere and a map in your room, any questions can be directed to our concierges around the hotel or you can use your room’s telephone.”

Dean and Castiel nodded, returning the smile.

Lori opened a drawer and took a key card from it. “Second floor. Check-outs are until 11 am.” She said and gave them the card along with Dean’s ID. “Enjoy your stay!”

“Thank you!” Castiel answered excitedly and waved at her. Dean nodded in her direction, grabbed his bag from the floor and took Cas’ free hand.

“I know it’s four in the afternoon but I could really use a nap right now.” Dean said and laughed as he pressed the elevator button.

“Well we don’t have to do anything until tomorrow morning so I might join you in your nap.” Castiel said and yawned.

When the doors opened, they walked in the elevator and dropped their bags on the floor.

“I swear I never met anyone that likes to sleep more than you do.” Dean chuckled and pressed the button with the number 3 on it. “It’s funny ‘cause you never slept before and now we can’t watch two episodes of anything without you drowsing like an old man.”

Castiel squinted at him. “Really?” He said, crossing his arms. “You don’t see me complaining about your heavy snores.”

Dean opened his mouth in disbelief. “What happened to your “ _well, I am old_ ” speech?” He asked and nudged Cas’ arm. “You’re gonna start retaliating like Sam, now?”

The elevator door beeped and they grabbed their bags from the floor.

“Maybe.” Castiel smirked.

“Well, you’ve always been sassy... I should’ve seen this coming.” Dean laughed and stopped by the door with the number 302 hanging on it.

He slid the key card on the small entrance above the doorknob and gasped as he opened the door completely.

“I already feel rich.” He said and turned to Cas in delight, lips pursed in a smile and eyes wide. “Did _we_ actually paid for this? With _our_ money?” Dean moved his finger back and forth, indicating them both.

“Yes.” Castiel said and walked closer to Dean, placing his arm around his back, hand on his waist. “Feels good, right?”

Dean nodded and turned to look at Cas’ shining eyes. He leaned his head closer and kissed him. “Can’t wait to try out the bed.” He said and slapped Cas’ ass before going to put the bags on a chair.

The bed was huge, and so was the glass window that went from the floor to the ceiling, wall to wall. Cas walked to it and opened the curtains, revealing the huge equestrianism field far on the end of the property. Closer to them was the river, shining with the sun light.

“This place is beautiful.” Castiel whispered, touching the window. Dean walked to him and hugged him from behind. “Do we have to go hunting?” Cas continued, his voice pleading. “Can’t we just stay here and enjoy the fields and pools, make love three times a day, sleep and enjoy fancy food?”

“As much as I’d love to have sex three times a day and all that…” Dean said and kissed under Cas’ ear. “We promised to help.” He stepped back to go through their bags, looking for clean clothes. “But we can come here again for a honeymoon or something.” Dean said after a minute.

Castiel couldn’t tell if Dean was joking or not so he faked a chuckle and continued looking out the window. When Dean didn’t say anything else, Castiel turned around. Dean was still bending over the bag on the chair, rummaging through it.

“Uhm.” Castiel mumbled and bit the inside of his cheek. “Is that something you want?”

“What?” Dean lifted his eyes, raising his eyebrows slightly.

“Marriage.” Castiel clarified.

Dean’s back straightened as he stood back. “I don’t know.” He shrugged one shoulder, the annoying thoughts not coming to surface for once. “I guess so… I mean, if there’s anyone I would want to marry, it’s you, Cas.”

Castiel’s heart quickened and he swallowed thick.

If he were to be completely honest, he had buried deep his desire of being with someone forever to avoid pain and frustration. In his mind, Dean and marriage just weren’t possible in the same sentence. Now there he was, Dean’s words reverberating in his mind.

“We don’t have to talk about this, babe.” Dean shook his head and smiled awkwardly. “Just forget it.”

“That’s not it.” Castiel huffed a laugh. Of course Dean would think he was denying the subject. “I’m just surprised to hear you talking about matrimony so unworriedly.”

“Well, I never took it off the table.” Dean said, quietly. “Just hid it under the towel.”

Castiel smiled fondly at him and walked closer. “If getting married is something you want, Dean, we can talk about it because I can assure you that _it is_ something I want.”

Dean reached for Cas’ hand and pulled him even closer, until their bodies were completely touching.

“Then we’ll talk about it as soon as we get home.” Dean said and kissed Cas’ lips.

For long minutes they just stood there, hugging in the middle of the hotel room, enjoying each other.

“Bathtub!” Dean said suddenly and gripped Cas’ hand to pull him into the attached bathroom. “Shit, this is so fancy!” He exclaimed, looking around and then chuckling.

There was a large bathtub next to a shower stall, a long counter with two washbasins and a mirror above them and on the other wall, a toilet.

“Everything looks better than in the photographs.” Castiel said, amazed.

“ _Please_ tell me we’ll have bathtub sex.” Dean pleaded and ran his fingertips on the granite around the tub.

“We’ll have to buy appropriate lubrication for that.” Cas stared at the object, trying to imagine the situation.

“Not a problem.” Dean smirked. “I saw a pharmacy on the way here. We can stop there tomorrow.”

Castiel smiled and nodded. “Sounds like a plan... but now we should take that nap.” He yawned.

“And then we can go downstairs and have a dinner date at the fancy restaurant.” Dean completed with a wiggle of eyebrows. “What do you say?”

“I say I love you and I love dinner dates.” Cas answered, stepping closer and kissing Dean quickly.

They walked back into the bedroom, took off the heavy layers and prepared the bed. Dean called the restaurant and made them a reservation, and then they laid together, fingers laced and legs tangled under the covers. Sleep came fast as they felt each other’s breaths against their cheeks.

A couple of hours later, the beep of Cas’ phone woke them up.

“Damn that was a good nap.” Dean mumbled. He stretched his legs and took a deep breath.

Castiel hummed in agreement and reached for the phone to turn the alarm off. “It’s six. We should take a shower and get ready for dinner.” He said and turned to Dean, shifting and hugging his upper body to bury his face of the crook of Dean’s neck, not even considering getting up.

“Yeah.” Dean chuckled, feeling an intense wave of happiness. Having Cas there, wrapped around him, was his favorite feeling. Everything with Castiel was so intense and right, and he couldn’t help but wonder how things would be years in the future before his incessant, weird thoughts started to come out and he had to shove everything to the back of his mind.

Cas’ breathing was even, calm. He closed his eyes and focused on the way Dean’s skin felt against his. It was soft, warm and _so_ welcoming. Cas turned slightly and kissed his sternum.

“I love you.” Dean whispered, taking in the touch.

Castiel immediately shifted and pressed his lips against Dean’s. Promptly, Dean opened up and pulled Cas in for a deeper kiss, tongues sliding and hands starting to roam.

“I love you.” Cas answered seconds later, lips still against Dean’s. He then peppered Dean’s face with small, gentle kisses, causing him to sigh contentedly and smile. He really liked the way Cas’ stubble brushed on his skin. When Cas’ lips hovered over his own on the way to his jaw, Dean stole a full kiss.

They spent ten more minutes between kisses and caresses, and then, against their will, got up to shower.

Castiel decided to dress his favorite shirt: a slim, dark blue button down. His black jeans and casual black boots completed the ensemble. While he tried to comb his hair, Dean came out of the bathroom and whistled loudly.

“Yep, devastatingly handsome.” Dean said with a smirk.

Smiling, Castiel rolled his eyes and continued fighting with his hair strands. Dean took the gel from their bag and walked to him. He spread some on his fingers and ran them through Cas’ hair.

“Why are you trying to change your hair? I like it the way it is.” Dean said quietly. He noticed that Cas’ eyes were closed and he was leaning into the touches.

“I would like to not look like I just got out of bed for once.” Castiel mumbled. “It’s hard to put it down without my grace.”

“I’ll have to keep helping you, then.” Dean said with a smile. He pecked Cas’ lips and after washing his hands, started to get dressed.

From the bed, Cas watched Dean dressing a black Henley shirt with grey khaki pants and brown boots. “You keep saying this place is too fancy but as far as I am concerned you know exactly how to be fancy.” He said while Dean worked on his own hair.

“What?” Dean laughed. “This is all old stuff I never use.” He turned around and smiled at Cas, trying to ignore how nice it felt to be complimented. “You ready?”

Castiel nodded.

They walked hand in hand to the lobby and chose the outside path to the restaurant. The sky was clear and many stars were shining bright, the river glistening with the moonlight.

As soon as they reached the building, the glass doors opened automatically and the atmosphere changed completely. A faint scent of food mixed with whiskey took over the air; the yellowish lights shadowed the walls.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” A man greeted them from behind a small counter.

“Good evening, we have a reservation under Winchester.” Dean said without ceremony. He noticed how the man’s eyes had glanced at his and Cas’ hands longer than necessary and didn’t want to give him the slight chance to say something.

The man checked a list. “Of course, follow me.” He nodded slightly and led the way upstairs.

The bar stood in the middle of the big room, and around it, tables were placed strategically. Dean and Cas were led to a four-place table by the glass window. They sat next to each other, towards the view.

“Your waiter will be here in a minute, enjoy your evening.” The host handed them two menus and smiled politely before leaving them.

“This is a beautiful view.” Castiel said, looking out the window.

“Yeah it is.” Dean answered, staring at Cas with a tender smile.

Castiel looked at him and returned the smile before leaning in and giving him a quick kiss.

“Everything looks delicious.” Cas looked down at the menu he was holding. “I’m not sure what I’ll have.”

“I’m not a fan of fish but the salmon thing looks really good.” Dean said.

“Yes it’s exactly what I was looking just yet. Maybe I’ll go with it and some salad.” Castiel decided.

Dean nodded. “Hm, sounds good.” He said. “Don’t tell Sam I’m ordering that.”

“Good evening.” A young man approached their table, cutting short Cas’ chuckle. “I’m Logan and I’ll be your waiter tonight.”

“Hello.” Castiel said, smiling at him. Dean nodded.

“Have you guys decided on a drink?” He asked, interested.

“Uhm, maybe red wine? Babe?” Dean asked Cas.

“Sure.” Cas answered, looking at Dean. His stomach once again flipped with Dean’s endearment.

“Surprise us with a recommendation then.” Dean said to the waiter with a smile.

“Of course.” Logan pressed on his tablet a couple of times. “And your dinner?”

Dean bit the inside of his cheek for a second. “A grilled chicken caesar salad for me.”

“And a roasted beet salad for me.” Castiel completed. “Two grilled herb salmons as well, please.”

“Amazing choices.” Logan said while pressing their options on the device. “I’ll be right back with your wine. Excuse me.”

They both nodded and he left.

Later, as they were eating, Castiel placed his fork on his plate and took a sip of his wine. “Listen.” He said. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. But I don’t want to ruin our evening so if it is something that you don’t want to talk about right now, let me know.”

Dean nodded and reached for his own glass of wine.

“I want Jack to come live in Lebanon with me… with us.” Castiel corrected himself immediately.

Dean’s eyebrows rose and he swallowed thick.

“Do you mind talking about it?” Cas slightly leaned his head forward, anxious.

“Not at all.” Dean said and shook his head.

“Very well.” Castiel sighed, relieved. “As you know, I never wanted him to be away. But I wasn’t ready to take care of him before.”

“And you think you are, now?” Dean checked.

“I suppose. I do have the necessary means now.” Cas shrugged. “I have a job and a house. Also, I have you.” Dean nodded with a smile for Cas to continue. “I want to know how you feel about raising him with me, as… partners.”

“Oh.” Dean’s eyebrows went up. He licked his lips. “That’s uh, a huge thing, don’t you think?”

“Not to me.” Cas smiled. “But I understand why you think it is. We have been in a relationship for less than two months and perhaps it is way too soon to be raising a child together.”

“I mean… I don’t know how to be a dad, Cas.” Dean explained, a clear line of pain on his face. “My only role model was Bobby and I didn’t live with him enough to learn anything about that.” He shrugged. “I’m pretty sure I’ll suck majorly. That or I’ll be an awful dad like my dad was.”

“Dean…” Cas looked fondly at him. “I know you. You would never act like your father deliberately. Since we are a couple, parenting would be a partnership involving talking about things and thinking together… if something is off or some action is loose, we talk to each other and we stablish what needs to be done.”

Dean nodded slightly. “It’s just… this kid came from Lucifer for fuck’s sake. It’s scary!” He whispered.

“But he doesn’t live with Lucifer nor does he have any contact with him, and Jack is absolutely nothing like his birth father.”

“Yeah, well… when you put it like that.” Dean conceded but kept thinking for some seconds. “You really think we can do it?” He asked, sincerely.

“I do.” Castiel nodded and reached for Dean’s hand. “I am absolutely certain that together, we can make him a great man.”

Dean squeezed Cas’ fingers and smiled back. “Well then I’m in for the challenge.”

Castiel’s smile widened even more. “Thank you, Dean. Your support and effort means a lot to me.” His voice faltered with emotion.

“I know, babe.” Dean said quietly, feeling good to be able to make Cas happy. “You want to talk to him when we see him this weekend?”

“Yes.” Cas nodded. “That’s a good idea. We can also talk to Jody about it. And see if Jack has any interest in having me as his real father. And you too, of course.”

“What?” Dean huffed a laugh. “I bet he’ll run right at you when you ask. He loves you Cas. Don’t worry about that.”

Castiel smiled but Dean could see that he was afraid and didn’t believe in that.

“I guess we have a lot of talking to do this weekend, huh?” Dean wondered. “Everyone will ask about us and Jody will probably cry.”

“Why do you think she will cry?” Cas asked, going back to his food.

“She kinda told me to follow my heart back in May.” Dean laughed a little. “Actually everyone told me to do that… Jodes, mom, Sam and even Rowena.”

“Really?” Castiel widened his eyes.

“Cas, you were literally the only one who didn’t notice I’ve been in love with you since forever.” Dean grinned and felt his neck burning.

“Well you can’t blame me for not noticing! I’m the most oblivious being on the planet when it comes to all the human feelings.” Castiel explained himself, waving his hand.

“And I love you for that.” Dean lifted his glass in a toast motion.

“Hmm. That you do.” Cas did the same.

A while later they were hugging each other inside the elevator, Castiel was feeling slightly happier than normal due to the wine. Dean pulled him by the hand towards their room, feeling relaxed and almost lazy as well.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, Cas’ lips found Dean’s and his hands gripped the hem of Dean’s shirt. Turning them around, he slowly led their bodies towards the bed still between kisses. Cas quickly pulled Dean’s shirt up and out of his body with skilled hands, letting it fall to the floor. With his own feet, Dean took his boots, and soon his pants were going down as the same time he felt Cas’ warm lips leaving sweet kisses on both his thighs.

Before Dean could say anything, he saw himself only in boxers, being gently pushed down to lay on the bed. Castiel unbuttoned his own shirt with his eyes fixed on the curves of Dean’s body. Dean sighed and licked his lips as Cas’ muscles flexed to get rid of the sleeves.

Castiel’s fingers opened the button and zipper of his own pants while taking his shoes and socks, and then he slowly slid the fabric down his legs. Dean watched his every move attentively, feeling waves of desire spreading all over his body whenever their eyes caught each other.

With a smile between smug and shy, Castiel climbed on the bed and straddled Dean’s pelvis, thrusting his crotch down when he lowered his upper body to catch Dean’s lips sensually. Dean immediately moaned against Cas’ lips, placing both hands on his broad back and caressing the warm skin.

When Cas’ hand slid up Dean’s chest, he pinched one nipple and caused Dean to open his mouth on a gasp that broke their kiss. “Cas.” He moaned out, lips glued to Cas’ cheek. “Lube’s right here on the little bag over the nightstand.”

Cas nodded and reached for it. Dean took advantage of the brief moment Cas lifted his hips to take his own underwear off and kick it away from the bed.

“Get up for a sec, babe.” Dean said breathlessly and indicated his own legs to Cas, signaling that he was expecting to bottom.

Castiel shook his head and lowered his mouth to Dean’s ear. “Not today, love.” He whispered. “Not here.” Dean shivered with the hoarse voice and nodded. Cas gently bit his earlobe and sat by Dean’s side after taking his own boxers off.

So far, Cas still hadn’t let Dean bottom, and Dean hadn’t pushed him into it. He knew Cas would do it when he felt comfortable enough.

“Want me to get you ready, then?” Dean asked quietly.

“I want you to relax and enjoy.” Castiel answered and ran his fingertips down Dean’s chest, stopping at his erection and giving it a couple of slow, long strokes, the way he knew Dean liked it. Dean moaned loudly and closed his eyes. “Yes, there you go.” Cas said appreciatively.

Smiling to himself, Cas and opened the bottle of lube. He sat over his ankles and kept his knees apart before spreading the substance on his fingers and reaching behind himself to start opening his tight ring of muscle. Meanwhile, he stimulated Dean’s upper body by kissing, biting and licking his nipples, collarbones, neck and jaw.

For long minutes, Cas continued to stretch his own skin, hearing Dean’s low gasps and moans by his side and not managing to hold back some noises himself. When the self-stimulation became too much and Cas stopped touching and arousing his skin, Dean realized he was missing the actions around him. He opened his eyes and saw Cas’ movements now that he wasn’t leaning over Dean’s body anymore and was pretty much fucking himself onto his fingers.

Dean’s breath caught in his throat and his lips parted in awe. “You’re so hot, babe.” He said breathlessly and ran his hand along Cas’ chest. Castiel opened his eyes and retrieved his hand with a sigh. He spread more lube onto his fingers and smeared it all over Dean’s cock. He got a deep moan from Dean and smiled to himself.

With a quick movement, he straddled Dean’s hips again and kissed him passionately with long slides of lips to make the seconds last longer. Their eyes found each other as Cas lifted his upper body, and even in between the arousal, their pupils softened and the colored globes became filled with love and emotion. Cas gently held Dean’s cock before lowering himself and moaning loudly, the cloud of intimacy and love being formed around them.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean panted and blinked prolongedly. “I’m so not gonna last this time.” He chuckled.

“Good.” Cas said and moved a little forward, the friction making him gasp and then sigh. “I don’t want you to.” He sighed said and ran both hands up Dean’s chest.

Both Dean’s hands found their place on Cas’ hips, gripping tight to the soft skin. Castiel lowered his chest again and kissed Dean’s lips hard, wanting to sense every little possible touch, emotion and feeling around him, and wanting Dean to feel it too. He moved his body back and forth and felt when Dean folded his legs to prevent his erection from slipping out mid movements.

With the new position, Castiel could easily gyrate his pelvis and move up and down repeatedly. Dean could only gasp and let some moans go, trying his best to keep his eyes open since he didn’t want to miss the view. He held tight to Cas’ hips and experimentally thrusted up, meeting one of Cas movements.

“Fuck.” Cas cursed in a whisper, feeling electricity sparkling on his skin.

“Yeah” Dean said and thrusted up one more time, making Cas moan louder. “Keep going like that, babe.”

Cas pushed himself down to make sure Dean wouldn’t thrust up during the next few moments, and started bouncing on Dean’s cock relentlessly, his own member following the rhythm.

Dean squeezed Cas’ skin and moaned. “Holy shit.” He sighed, closing his eyes.

“Yes.” Cas breathed out. He lifted his body and sank down a couple more times before squeezing Dean’s thigh to let him know that he could move.

Dean’s fingers kept massaging Cas’ hips while he thrusted up and met many of his moves, dragging breathy sounds from Cas’ throat. Soon Castiel noticed Dean’s irregular breaths and reached for his own member to get to the edge faster and in time with Dean.

“Yeah, I’m really close.” Dean said and gently replaced Cas’ hand with his own to stroke him. Castiel bounced harder, taking in the pleasure from Dean’s hand and using it as fuel to satisfy him and get off in the process.

“There Cas, yeah.” Dean babbled while he stroked Cas’ cock faster and thrusted up one last time, coming hard and intensely right against Cas’ prostate.

“Yes, yes, yes… oh Dean, yes.” Castiel said with a shudder as he spilled all over Dean’s chest, the strokes increasing his pleasure. He laid himself over Dean, completely ignoring the mess and only breathing in Dean’s scent as they both panted.

Dean breathed a laugh after some seconds. “I fucking love you, you know that?” He said.

“You’re only saying this now because I helped with your pleasure.” Castiel mumbled against his neck.

“Hell no.” Dean disagreed and squeezed Cas’ asscheeks. “I mean, obviously that was the hottest thing we ever did, babe.”

Castiel nodded.

“No, scratch that… that was the hottest thing I’ve ever been a part of.” Dean said and Cas finally lifted his head, squinting.

“You don’t have to say that, Dean.” Cas said quietly.

“I want to say that, because I mean it.” Dean assured him and caressed the muscles on Cas’ back until his hands reached his dark hair.

“I love you too.” Cas said with a smile.

“Now you’re only saying that ‘cause I softened you, you softie.” Dean grinned.

After Cas shrugged, their lips met on a sweet, long kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2018 babes ♡


	19. Chapter 19

 

The phone beeped at 8 am, eliciting an angry groan from Dean and a sleepy sigh from Cas.

Dean turned and laid on his stomach, mumbling against the pillow. Cas got closer to him and kissed his left shoulder blade softly.

“I know, right?” Cas said and kissed the same spot one more time. “But this case was your idea, so we need to go… get up.”

Dean turned his face towards Cas and squinted his eyes due to the sunlight. “I changed my mind, let’s stay here.” He mumbled.

“Dean.” Cas said, warningly.

“Fine.” Dean yawned and sat. He stretched his arms and groaned again. Cas’ eyes were glued to his movements, a small smile on his lips. Dean looked at him with a frown. “What?”

Castiel only leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. “Good morning.” He said.

“Morning.” Dean finally smiled and pecked Cas’ lips again.

After lazily getting up, Castiel prepared their suits and they took a quick shower, getting dressed afterwards. Soon they were having breakfast downstairs and then heading to the city to meet up with the other hunter.

They parked at the hospital and chose their fake FBI badges, placing them inside their coats. Dean gently denied when Cas asked to use his “Agent Beyoncé” badge, saying he’d like to use the badges they used on their first hunt together. For the first time since they started dating, Dean didn’t reach for Cas’ hand as they walked side by side to the reception desk.

“Hello, how can I help you?” A nurse greeted them with a smile.

“Hi, we’re agents Clapton and Page. FBI.” Dean said and pointed at himself and Castiel respectively as they showed their badges.

“Yes.” The nurse nodded, looking at both documents and then back at them.

“We’re here for the electrocution victims.” Castiel said and Dean glanced at him just in time to see him putting away his upside down document.

“Right.” The man nodded and looked at a list by his computer. “Your partner is already there, room 34 turning right down this hall. Can you sign your presence here, please?” He slid a book on the desk and Dean nodded meaningfully at Cas before going to the indicated place.

“Sure.” Cas said to the nurse. “And would you mind answering some questions, please?”

Dean turned right on the hallway with Cas’ voice fading behind him. He saw the designated room and their partner sitting on a bench clearly waiting while drinking a cup of coffee.

“Shit.” Dean mumbled to himself. “Cas is gonna be so damn pissed.”

He cleared his throat to get attention and Claire looked up, widening her eyes and then forming a huge scowl in a second.

“No… are you kidding me?” She said and got up.

Dean walked closer to her. “What the hell are you doing here, Claire?” He asked in a heated whisper.

“Working.” She answered, sassing. “Cesar didn’t tell me you and Sam were coming. If I knew, I’d have looked for another case.” She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well, as much as I wanna laugh at you we’re both screwed now ‘cause Sam isn’t here… Cas is.”

Claire’s eyes widened and her mouth opened for a second. “Oh, come on! He won’t let me do anything!” She complained, almost whining.

“Look, just...” Dean said and looked behind him. “Just, _please_ , don’t do anything stupid.”

Claire snorted and pursed her lips.

Dean looked back again and saw Cas walking to them while looking down at a notepad. “Dean, I got some information about this… Claire?” He raised both eyebrows as he looked up.

“Hi Cas.” Claire smiled awkwardly.

Castiel frowned and looked between Dean and her.

“Uh, apparently Claire is the other hunter, babe.” Dean said and immediately closed his eyes at using the endearment in front of Claire.

“ _Babe_?” Claire asked, looking at Dean with a mischievous smile.

“Didn’t I just tell you to fucking behave, kid?” Dean looked at her with anger and then walked to Cas. “Look, I swear I didn’t know about this, okay?”

Castiel looked at Claire for some seconds and then fixed his eyes on Dean’s.

“I don’t want her to get hurt.” He said, simply.

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t.” Dean promised, caressing Cas’ arm and then he leaned closer to whisper. “Let’s give her a chance and if things don’t work out, we’ll send her home, okay?”

Cas nodded with pursed lips, obviously against his will. Dean guided him by the arm towards Claire.

“The rules are: you follow our lead, you wait until we say the places are clear, you be careful with your questions and you never walk around with a gun.”

“I’m not a baby.” Claire said, squinting. “I know how to hunt. I’ve been at it for months.”

Castiel sighed and pursed his lips even harder, looking at her pleadingly.

“Okay, fine!” She gave up, both hands on the air. “I’ll do what you say.”

“Great.” Dean smiled falsely and clapped his hands together. “Now let’s interview this victim and then let’s hit the morgue to see the other one.”

They entered the room and introduced themselves to the young man, showing their badges.

“So, Mr. Andrew Edwards… can you tell us what happened to you? In details if possible.”

The victim nodded slightly. His breathing was slow and tired, his face filled with dark marks due to the lack of sleep.

“I, uh…” He started and slowly licked his lips. “I work at the city’s Energy Company and _that_ day, I was working late cause there was a blackout.”

Claire nodded and made notes on a notepad.

“And what is your job there?” Castiel asked.

“I work as an intern at the environmental division.” The man said.

“And that night you were there to solve something related to the environment?” Dean checked, wondering why an intern would be working directly at the blackout solving.

“No.” Mr. Edwards shook his head and grimaced. “They called me ‘cause the heavy rain prevented the specific needed workers to get to the company. And I was there so it was kinda all they got.”

“Okay.” Dean said and nodded.

“So, I was there helping with some wires. They were giving me directions through the radio and suddenly it got really cold, so I went to my office to get my jacket. When I got back the radio was off and the wires were kind of floating in the air while the emergency lights were flashing like crazy.”

Castiel nodded encouragingly at him.

“I know this will sound insane but I swear it’s what I saw.” Andrew pursed his lips and shook his head slightly. “This old dude showed up, wearing a shabby suit and a fedora hat. His face was full of wounds like… like burns, I think.” His eyes widened. “And he was really pale, like almost _ghostly_ pale.”

Both Cas, Claire and Dean nodded and made notes.

“Did he say something to you?” Claire asked, waving her pen a little.

Andrew nodded. “He mumbled something about how I shouldn’t be working on something I don’t know how to do right.” He said and looked down, feeling guilty. “Then somehow the wires were glued straight to my chest, electrocuting me. I think I stumbled back and fell down some stair steps, and that kinda saved me ‘cause the impact caused the wires to come loose from me.”

“I’m so sorry for that, Mr. Edwards.” Castiel said, sympathetically. Dean looked at him for a second, proud of how differently he hunted now.

“And about this man you saw.” Dean continued after discreetly clearing his throat. “Did you know him?”

“No.” Mr. Edwards shook his head. “He seemed so out of place with those clothes.” He shrugged a little. “And I know it sounds even weirder but he… he kinda waved his hands at the wires before they got to me. He must had been controlling them with some sort of string that my eyes probably missed.”

Castiel nodded at him again.

“Thank you so much for your time, Mr. Edwards.” Dean said, closing his notepad. “We’ll look into it and find who did this.”

“Get well.” Claire said with a little smile before they left the room.

 Outside, Dean sighed and leaned against a wall. “Okay so we definitely have a ghost.”

“Yeah.” Claire agreed, grabbing her phone and typing quickly. “Let’s check the morgue and then I’ll do some research.”

“Maybe tomorrow we can go to the company and take a look.” Castiel suggested and Dean nodded.

They walked to the morgue and the medical examiner showed them Gavin Carter’s roasted body. He’d also been electrocuted and according to his coworkers, he was an engineer that was covering a shift for a colleague that worked as an IT at the same Energy Company, days before the incident with Andrew.

“Both victims weren’t doing their actual jobs.” Castiel mumbled to himself. “So, it seems like this ghost doesn’t want people doing jobs they’re not professionalized to be doing.” He said aloud as they walked out of the building.

“Yeah, seems like it.” Dean agreed, taking his hand now that they were out of their FBI characters.

“So you guys are like a thing now?” Claire asked, seriously.

Cas swallowed thick and glanced at Dean. “Yes.” He said and unconsciously squeezed Dean’s fingers.

“Cool.” Claire nodded. “I always knew, but anyways.” She shrugged. “I’m glad you’re not pretending to be just “bros” anymore.” She did the air quotes with a grimace.

“Yeah…” Dean mumbled. “Everybody knew. Whatever.”

“We should do research together.” Cas said, trying to change the subject. He didn’t want to talk to Claire about that on the parking lot of the hospital. “Where are you staying, Claire?” He asked.

“I was going to sleep in my car but I’ll find a motel, I guess.”

“What?” Dean asked in disbelief. “You’ve been sleeping alone in your car?” His voice was filled with a worry that he immediately tried to hide with a snort.

“Yeah.” She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “I have a gun, Dean.”

“Of course you have.” Dean muttered and sighed.

Cas stopped walking, causing Dean to stop, too. “You should stay at the hotel we’re staying.” He said.

“Castiel, I appreciate your concern but I don’t have enough money to pay for…”

“We will pay for your stay.” Castiel interrupted her.

“We will?” Dean asked, looking at Cas with wide eyes and getting an angry squint from him. “We will!” He repeated, faking a smile towards Claire.

“Okay, fine.” Claire said and crossed her arms. “But I want my own room ‘cause I don’t wanna have to listen to you guys… _getting busy_.” She faked a shiver.

“So you think we’re just some horny losers?” Dean asked, crossing his arms too.

“Precisely.” She leaned forward with a fake smile.

“You… you’re the horny loser.” Dean said and grimaced, taken aback.

“Dean.” Castiel admonished.

“She started it!” Dean widened his eyes at Cas, feeling wronged.

Castiel sighed and walked to the car. Claire grinned at Dean and went towards her car.

They went out for lunch together and when Dean went to the bathroom, Castiel decided to talk to Claire.

“Listen, Claire.” He started wrapping both hands around his cup. “I’m sorry for not telling you about my relationship with Dean. We were still trying to see if it would work, things were complicated and...”

“That’s okay.” Claire said and shrugged, her mouth full. “I’m happy to see you happy with Dean. He’s…” She pursed her lips for a second. “Really great.” She said and smiled genuinely.

“I’m glad you’re supportive of us.” Cas said, feeling relieved. “And I’m sorry for acting a little cold when I saw you this morning.”

“I get it, for real.” Claire reached forward and squeezed Cas’ forearm. “It’s okay to worry about me. But I can do things by myself, you know?”

“Yes. I’m aware of that.” Castiel smiled at her.

“That pie looks awesome!” Dean said as he sat by Cas’ side and placed an arm around his shoulders. “Wanna share?” He asked Cas with his eyebrows lifted, an excited smile on his lips.

Castiel nodded with a smile.

“Ugh, you guys are gross.” Claire said and rolled her eyes, but her little smile didn’t escape their eyes.

“Get used to it, kid.” Dean said smugly and leaned to the side to steal a kiss from Cas.

 

***

 

“Okay listen.” Claire said, she was sitting on the bed at Dean and Cas’ hotel room, the laptop placed on her folded legs. “There was a fire in 1918 at a Drug Company called Oscar Ruff. They call it The Ruff Disaster of 1918.”

Castiel nodded and got up from the chair to sit at the end of the bed.

“39 people died and this company was at Douglas & 4th streets, also known as: the place the Energy Company is today.” Claire continued, feeling proud of herself.

“Is there anything else about the fire? What caused it?” Dean asked from the table, looking at his own laptop.

“Hm.” Claire looked back at her computer. “Here. It says that the man chosen as the city’s Building Inspector was not qualified enough to recognize the dangers in the project. Looks like they were remodeling the building and people were still frequenting it while they worked on it.”

“That explains the ghost’s reasons.” Cas said to himself.

“The building collapsed and then the fire started.” Claire continued.

“Okay.” Dean said, also getting up and going to the bed. “But our victims have been electrocuted, not burned.”

“Yes.” Castiel said, frowning in thought. “But this ghost is killing specific people.” He said and waved his hands while talking. “People that are doing jobs they weren’t supposed to be doing as I said earlier. So, maybe it’s using energy so that it wouldn’t be hurting the innocent people around the victim he’s aiming for.”

“And electrocution can cause burns.” Claire said. “That’s pretty much the same thing.”

“And how can we find this person?” Dean asked. “Is there a list with the names of the dead?”

“No. Not here on the city’s website anyway.” Claire shook her head. “It just says that they could never identify the victim’s remains properly, so they buried empty coffins. That means it’s probably some object there at the Company.”

“Maybe they have the list at the public library?” Castiel wondered. “Isn’t it there where you and Sam usually find things?” He asked Dean and got a nod in response.

“Yeah, probably.” Claire said and closed her laptop. “I’ll go there tomorrow while you guys are at the Energy Company.”

“Sounds good.” Dean nodded. “We should eat something now and enjoy the hotel a little.”

“Of course.” Castiel said, happy to see Dean and Claire not bickering for once.

“I’ll go get pizza.”

“You know they can deliver it, right, old man?” Claire asked, frowning.

“I have to stop by the drugstore, smartass.” Dean answered with a grimace.

“Please stop. Both of you.” Castiel said and got up.

“Sorry.” Dean and Claire both mumbled.

“I’ll go take a shower and walk around, call me when the pizza is here.” Claire said and left to her bedroom.

“Babe you wanna come along?” Dean asked, seeing Cas looking out the window.

“What I want is for you and Claire to stop acting like babies and hating each other.” Castiel said, quietly.

Dean pursed his lips, taken aback. “Hating each other?” He said and then sighed when Cas’ words made sense. “I’m sorry.” He said and got up. “I… I don’t mean it, and we don’t hate each other. I guess that’s just how we’ve always been.”

Castiel stayed silent.

“I promise you that all our bickering is not serious, we’re just being idiots.” Dean said and hugged him from behind. “I took her mini golfing that one time you and Sam benched us, remember? We bonded and everything…. I love her, Cas. Okay?”

“Really?” Cas asked, loosening his own arms.

Dean kissed his shoulder. “Yeah. Don’t worry about it, she’s pretty much my kid too.” He said. “I’d do anything to protect her.”

They stood there for minutes, watching the sky becoming dark.

“So you wanna come with me?” Dean’s hands slid down Cas’ front, stopping right below his navel. “Get that special lube and then try it later?”

Castiel hummed in agreement and turned around to kiss Dean.

 


	20. Chapter 20

 

“I don’t understand.” Castiel said, looking at the shelf on the intimate care section of the drugstore.

“What?” Dean asked, walking to him.

“Why would people use flavored lubricant?” Cas continued. “Isn’t it kind of… disgusting?”

“I don’t know.” Dean shrugged. “Maybe it’s like those weird condoms, you know? Those colored ones, with different textures and smells.”

Castiel frowned even more.

“I guess people like that, you know… uhm, people have their tastes, even if it sounds weird.” Dean tried, lowering his voice a little.

“Do you have?” Cas asked. “Weird tastes, I mean.”

“Not for that.” Dean shook his head slightly and started looking for the brand they used.

“For what, then?”

“I don’t know.” Dean huffed a laugh and continued looking to the shelf. “I have some toys.”

“Sex toys?” Castiel asked, genuinely curious.

“Look, let’s pay for this and I’ll tell you in the car, okay?” Dean suggested and Castiel nodded.

They placed the bottles of lube on the shopping basket along with chocolate, painkillers, ointments and some bandages in case the hunt went to hell.

When they were at the pizza place waiting for their order in the car, Castiel was visibly anxious to know what Dean was talking about earlier.

“Your leg is gonna fall if you don’t stop fidgeting.” Dean said with a laugh after three minutes of watching Cas with the corner of his eye.

Castiel stopped and looked at him. “I’m sorry.” He said.

“It’s okay.” Dean smiled fondly and slid closer to him. “I did tease you.”

Nodding, Cas smiled.

“So, we were talking about kinky shit.” Dean said, fingertips brushing Cas’ arm. “As I said, I have some toys.”

“What types of toys?” Castiel asked.

“Nobody knows about this alright?” Dean said, eyes slightly widening. “Just you.” He completed and smiled with the corner of his lips.

“I appreciate that you’re willing to share with me.” Cas said immediately.

“I uh, have some dildos, different sizes. A couple vibrators and a ring. Also I have one plug that I really like.” Dean said, looking down at where his hand was on Cas’ forearm. “As I told you, I stopped hooking up with dudes but that didn’t mean I had to stop the fun.” He smiled a little. “Before, I only had one dildo, but when we found the bunker and moved in, I bought more stuff ‘cause then I had a safe place to keep them.”

Cas nodded. “Do you think I would like those toys?” He asked after some seconds, eyebrows raised.

“Probably, yeah.” Dean nodded, still smiling. “Dildos are pretty cool but they will never replace the real thing.”

Castiel nodded again, considering. “I understand now why you like sex. Everything we do brings me so much pleasure. I never thought that was possible.”

“I can say the same without any doubts.” Dean looked at Cas meaningfully. “Literally everything with you it’s so intense and… _real_.” He said, emphasizing his words with a shrug. “And hot, obviously.” Dean nudged his arm.

“Yes, it is.” Cas said, smiling to himself.

“I saw a really nice shop in Lincoln on the way here.” Dean said, lacing his fingers with Cas’. He leaned closer and kissed Cas’ cheek. “We should stop there on the way home.” He finished, lips still against Cas’ soft skin.

“That would be nice.” Cas answered.

They stayed silent for some minutes, just enjoying each other’s presence and touches.

“Can I ask you something?” Dean said, leaning his head back.

“Of course.” Cas said and nodded sincerely, encouraging Dean to talk.

“Why haven’t you let me bottom yet?” Dean said and Cas’ eyes widened a little. “I mean, I don’t care… we’ll do only what you’re comfortable with of course, but I can’t help wondering sometimes, like, I don’t know what…”

“Dean.” Cas said calmly with a smile, interrupting his rambling and placing a steady hand on his forearm. “I don’t think you’re as ready as you say you are.”

“What?” Dean frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I might not know much about this, but I know that sex with intimacy involves… well, feelings.” Cas explained his line of thought, looking intently at Dean’s eyes. “I’d like to see you completely giving up control because I think that would be good for you. But, I don’t think you’re there yet. Something is still holding you back, preventing you from opening yourself completely.”

Dean nodded. Cas was right and there was no use in denying it.

“I’m not saying that this is bad, of course. I just believe you’ll enjoy yourself a lot more when you’re free from whatever is holding you back.” Cas continued, his hands tightly holding Dean’s hand and arm. “Obviously, if you want, we can do it.” He added.

“No.” Dean shook his head. “You’re right, babe.” He said and rested his forehead against Cas’ temple. “It’ll be better if we wait a little longer.”

“I’m sorry if what I said bothered you somehow.” Cas said. “That’s not what I want you to feel… I want you to talk to me… tell me anything and tell me what I can do to help.”

“I’m glad we talked about this.” Dean said and smiled against Cas’ cheek. “It’s still weird to talk about feelings like that… but I think I’m getting the hang of it.” He huffed a laugh.

“You definitely are.” Cas assured him. “And you’re great at it.” He completed before moving his head to the side to catch Dean’s lips on his own.

Dean promptly opened his lips and deepened his movements, feeling Cas’ tongue as eager as his own. His hand went to Cas’ neck, and the tips of his fingers lightly played with his hair. Cas placed both hands on Dean’s arms, pulling him close. They continued on making out for a couple of minutes, hands roaming each other’s skin. When they stopped for a second to catch their breaths, Dean glanced at his watch and noticed their pizza was supposed to be ready by now.

“Shit.” Dean mumbled and gave Cas’ lips a couple more pecks. “I gotta go get it.” He said, lips still glued to Cas’.

“Yes.” Castiel said and Dean hummed, trying to get Cas to kiss him again. “Dean, the pizza.” He said and gently pushed Dean back, smiling. “Claire is waiting for us.”

“Yeah.” Dean sighed. “Sure.” He said and sat back.

After smiling to Cas one more time, Dean left the car to go get the pizza.

 

***

 

The movie ended without trouble from Dean and Claire, both trying to please Cas after having noticed how he didn’t exactly like their usual teasing.

Dean was cleaning up the mess of paper towels and soda cans while Cas mumbled his annoyance as he walked in the bathroom to pee again.

“Hey, uh, Dean…” Claire said, walking closer to him. “Did you say anything to Castiel about that whole werewolf thing with Mick?”

Dean looked at her with a frown. “Why?” He asked.

“I don’t know… I felt kinda bad for not telling him.” She shrugged. “I know that he cares about me.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah, I told him.” He disclosed. “After the whole shit that happened with us I… I promised myself I wouldn’t keep secrets anymore.”

Claire looked down and nodded. “When did you tell him?”

Dean had said everything he felt he needed to say to Cas during one Saturday back in September. Castiel had cried and apologized for being so distant, for doing things alone when they could’ve worked together, for not believing in himself as he should. So Dean hugged him and apologized for everything as well. Cas also told him many things that happened to him in heaven and voiced many happenings that hurt him and still haunted him.

“We weren’t together yet.” Dean answered, shaking his head. “But I told him everything.”

“Except for your feelings.” Claire sassed.

Dean gave her a bitchface and sighed. “If you promise to be careful, I’ll do my part to make sure he won’t hold you back more than necessary.”

“Thanks, Dean.” Claire mumbled, her eyes sincere as she looked at Dean.

“He just wants the best for you.” Dean said quietly. “Try to keep that in mind.”

Claire nodded and reached for the bag Dean was using to place the garbage in. She smiled when Dean tapped her shoulder on his way to the bed.

 

***

 

“I’ll go straight to the library tomorrow and I’ll call as soon as I have news.” Claire said at the door.

“Okay. We’ll be at the Company trying to get some info from the managers.” Dean said, standing by Cas’ side and placing his arm around his lower back.

Castiel nodded slowly and smiled at Claire. “Be careful.” He said and she nodded. “Good night, Claire.”

“Night, guys.” Claire answered and waved quickly before starting to walk towards her room down the hall.

“Night, kid.” Dean said before he closed the door.

“I am _so_ tired.” Castiel said and groaned. He walked to the bed and let his body fall on the mattress.

“No, no, no, no, old man.” Dean quickly walked to Cas and pulled him to a sitting position by the hand. “Get up. We’re not sleeping yet.”

“What? Why not?” Castiel whined. “I demand my eight hours of sleep, Dean.” He said, using his angel voice.

“First of all, we haven’t taken a shower yet.” Dean said, pulling Cas up and placing both arms around his middle to hold him up and close. “And second, I wanna have my alone time with you.”

“Right now?” Castiel asked. His eyes closed. “Can’t I take a nap before?”

“Nope. No more naps. You slept through the whole movie.” Dean answered and pecked Cas’ slightly pouted lips. “C’mon, it will be really good. I swear.”

“Don’t yell at me if I fall asleep in the middle of it.” Cas mumbled with a small smile as Dean pulled him around the bed towards the bathroom.

“I won’t, babe.” Dean said, smiling to himself. “Take your clothes off.” He asked as he adjusted the water temperature and pressed the tap lever to start filling the tub.

Castiel groaned falsely and started unbuttoning his shirt, the little smile still on the corner of his lips.

Dean patted Cas’ hip on his way back to the bedroom. He got the lube from the drugstore bag and two bathrobes from the closet, turned the TV off and pulled the curtains together. When he got back in the bathroom, Cas was sitting on the granite edge of the bathtub, his fingertips roaming in the warm water.

Cas looked at him and smirked. “You’re _so_ slow.” He said and stood up.

Laughing, Dean took his clothes off as well and left them piled up over the sink counter. In a minute, his body was flush against Cas’, their lips sliding together slowly and prolongedly.

Castiel sighed against Dean’s lips and broke the kiss. With a smile on his now swollen lips, his hand found Dean’s and he stepped inside the bathtub, pulling Dean with him. Cas sat down with his back against the porcelain and continued to bring Dean closer until he was straddling Cas’ hips completely. Their bodies fitting together perfectly, as usual.

Dean placed the bottle of lube on the granite edge by their side and immediately both his arms were around Cas’ neck as his lips went to Cas’ like iron goes to a magnet.

Cas’ hands found Dean’s hips and as the water made his skin wet, the touches and roams got sexier and more sensuous, gliding from his hip up to his chest, then towards his back and down to the curves of his ass. All the while their kisses kept sending extra shivers everywhere, filling the right places with need and lust.

Dean gasped against Cas’ lips and took advantage of that to bite his lower lip. Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s lower back, leaving small nail marks as he also gasped. He dragged both hands towards Dean’s shoulder blades to pull him even closer. With shared breaths, Dean made sure to smirk and run his hands through Cas’ hair disheveling it even more with drops of water.

“Not gonna sleep on me, are you?” Dean whispered and pecked Cas’ lips.

“Not if you keep going.” Cas answered and his hands wandered back down to give Dean’s asscheeks a firm squeeze.

“Fuck.” Dean mumbled and untangled his hands from Cas’ hair to reach for the lube on his right side. He leaned back to open the bottle, ripping the plastic around it eagerly and throwing it outside the tub with anything but grace in his movements. “Dammit.”

Cas laughed and continued caressing Dean’s wet skin, hands roaming on his thighs under the water, teasing the soft skin of his hips and going back up to his chest to play teasingly with his nipples. Dean groaned as he finally got the cap of the bottle open and squeezed some lube onto his hand.

It was only as he reached under the water to hold both their members in hand that Dean noticed how aroused they were from kissing only, so he leaned forward to give Cas another kiss.

“Is this okay or you want something else?” He asked quietly, starting to move slowly his hand up and down in firm strokes.

“This is just fine…” Cas sighed and kissed the corner of Dean’s lips. “It’s more than good enough.”

Dean smiled and squeezed some lube on the hand Cas placed above the water. Soon they were both working together, pushing each other’s buttons. Cas pulled Dean closer with his free hand, while the other let go of their full erections to get hold of Dean’s cock only, intently trying to pleasure him. Dean was quick to move his hand towards Cas’ cock, playing all his tricks and making him gasp.

Their lips constantly found each other in between gasps and moans, their movements shamelessly rocking the water and making it tap against the borders in tiny, weak waves that came back to their bodies and rushed the sensations around.

Dean’s ragged breaths told Cas that he was close, so while one hand went to Dean’s neck, the other focused on the tip of his cock, moving with purpose and steadiness. The lubrication providing just the right amount of friction to increase the pleasure even more. Dean’s movements were getting faster on Cas’ member, trying to bring him to the edge as soon as possible.

“Just a little more…” Dean whispered, lips against Cas’ cheek. “I’m really close, babe.”

Cas half hummed, half sighed and nodded slightly, moving to kiss Dean’s lips with fierce and need. Their tongues were tangled together, doing the sexy dance they reserved only for moments like that, and Cas shivered strongly with how hot and lustful everything felt. Dean’s thumb teased the skin behind his ear while the other teased the slit of his cock a couple of times until Cas’ muscles slightly contracted and he let go with a moan of Dean’s name, spurting out in the warm water, head thrown back.

While trying not to stop his movements, Cas took a couple of deep breaths and leaned forward once again, attaching his lips to Dean’s neck and gaining a loud moan as an answer. He was able to give Dean’s cock more skilled strokes before he came, repeating Cas’ name over and over against his temple.

“Mhmm.” Dean sighed and placed both arms around Cas’ neck again.

“Don’t you dare sleeping on me, Dean.” Cas chuckled and ran both hands down Dean’s back.

Dean laughed and rested his forehead on Cas’. “Love you.” He whispered.

Cas nodded and pecked his lips. “I love you.”

After a couple more minutes of enjoying the afterglow, they got up and actually showered, wrapping each other on the fluffy bathrobes right after that and tucking themselves in the comfy bed.

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

“No! Absolutely not. They were both great employees.” Lauren, the Energy Company’s main manager said as she led Dean and Castiel to the place the second victim had been attacked.

It had been almost two hours since they started the tour of the Company and Cas had been perpetually looking for opportunities to hide the rather big mark he’d left on Dean’s neck the night before when Lauren wasn’t looking at them. Dean kept smirking at him and Cas was finding more and more difficult to focus.

“Of course.” Castiel said, looking at her kindly. “We would never doubt your services.”

The woman smiled at them and sighed. “They weren’t supposed to be doing what they were doing, I know that. But I don’t understand…” She trailed off.

“We’re here to help with that understanding part, Ms. Kean.” Dean assured her and she nodded.

“This Company stands were a Drug Company used to be 99 years ago, right?” Cas asked, checking his notepad for the numbers.

“Yes, uh, Oscar Ruff, if I’m not mistaken.” Lauren confirmed.

“And more employees have been electrocuted over the years under similar circumstances?” Dean asked, recalling Cesar’s information over the phone.

“Yes.” Lauren said again, shaking her head. “But those were isolated accidents, Agents. I assure you.”

“You have no reason to worry, Ms. Kean, we’re just trying to go through all the possible options here.” Dean said with a fake smile.

“Again about the Ruff Disaster, do you keep some sort of tribute to the victims inside the company?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, I guess…” Lauren shrugged. “But how is that connected to the death and injuries of my employees?”

“We need to follow procedure.” Dean said before Cas had to come up with something.

“Fine.” The woman sighed. “We have this showcase with objects that belonged to the victims of the disaster. Their families made a request and the Company agreed to pay appropriate respects.”

“When was that?” Dean asked as they stopped walking.

“Fifty years ago, if I remember correctly.” Lauren said and nodded towards a generator. “My dad never talked much about the fire.”

“This is where Mr. Edwards had his accident?” Castiel checked.

“Yes.” Lauren nodded and pointed to a bunch of burned wires hanging from it.

Dean crouched and used a pen to lift one of the wires. He gave Cas a knowing look and they both nodded.

“Ms. Kean, do you mind leading me to the showcase of objects?” Castiel said, smiling to Lauren. “My partner will do some recon in the meantime.”

“Not at all.” Lauren said and turned around. “It’s just down there at the second floor, follow me.”

Castiel pulled the collar of Dean’s shirt up and then left with Lauren while Dean continued to look around, EMF screaming.

Minutes later, Dean’s phone rang. “Claire?” He said as he answered. “What’s up?”

“ _I have the list of names, I made a copy and I’m on my way._ ” Claire said, breathless.

“Okay, kid. But why are you running?”

“ _Because I’m pretty sure you and Cas are in danger._ ” Claire said and Dean heard her car’s engine running.

“What? Why?” Dean said and looked around, his hand reaching to feel the iron crowbar inside his suit.

“ _You are exactly what the ghost goes after, Dean._ ” Claire explained. “ _Dammit._ ” She cursed and Dean hear some honking. “ _You guys are there doing something you’re not qualified to be doing._ ”

“Of course we are. We’re hunters.” Dean retorted, trying to follow her line of thought amid his apprehension and fear.

“ _Last time I checked you weren’t real FBI agents._ ” She said.

“Shit.” Dean cursed and ran his hand through his face and hair. “Okay what do we do? Cas isn’t even with me right now, he went to see the objects that belonged to the victims.” Panic boiled in Dean’s gut, and suddenly he felt cold.

“ _I’m almost there, I just gotta keep going through red signs._ ” Claire said and pressed even harder on the accelerator. “ _Just please don’t die._ ” She said before the line went off.

“Claire?!” Dean asked and noticed the freezing fog that his breath produced. “Claire?! Dammit.”

Dean put his phone inside his pocket and reached for the iron crowbar, holding it tight. He looked around carefully, trying to notice any movements. When he turned around again, a man was standing close to him, his pale face completely full of burns.

“ _Unqualified._ ” The ghost groaned and his eyes squinted in rage.

Dean stumbled back and lifted the crowbar to make it cross the ghost’s form, causing it to dissipate.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Dean mumbled to himself as he ran to the stairs to go to Castiel.

As he walked through an intersection on a corridor with many office doors, he saw Claire running towards him, trying to escape from a guard.

“Hey, hey!” Dean yelled and fumbled for his badge. “She’s with me!” He said and waved the document a couple of times. The man nodded with a frown and started to walk back towards his cabin.

“Damn, this case is making me tired.” Claire complained as she walked to Dean.

“Cas is somewhere in this floor.” Dean said and pointed behind him. “We gotta be fast ‘cause I just dissipated the old dude once.”

“Okay, okay.” Claire panted and gave Dean a list of names with an old compilation of named pictures. “My guess would be either Wyatt Minsk or Joel Carter.” She said and pointed at the two names highlighted on the paper.

“Why?” Dean asked as he started to walk towards the only office with an open door.

“Because they’re the only ones that match the victim’s description.” Claire explained. “Andrew said the ghost was an old man wearing a suit and a fedora. Wyatt and Joel are the only men older than thirty that died on the fire.”

“Great. We can work with that.” Dean nodded and stopped by the open door. “Excuse me, FBI. Where is the showcase of the Ruff Disaster victims?”

“Just down the hall.” The man inside the room answered.

“Thank you. Have a nice day.” Dean said and smiled before running to the end of the hall and looking to his left.

“Please, Lauren, go inside.” Cas’ voice came from the right and Dean immediately looked.

“I don’t understand…” Lauren started to say, fear all over her face and voice.

Claire ran towards her and led the woman to the closest entrance, a bathroom. “Please, come with me.” She said as she pulled Lauren with her.

“Dean.” Cas said and walked closer to Dean with wide, worried eyes. “The ghost was right here.”

Dean nodded and placed his hand on Cas’ shoulder. “I saw him too. Are you okay?” He asked, concerned.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Cas said and looked around. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Dean said and lifted the papers. “Claire said it’ll come to us ‘cause…”

“Because we’re unqualified.” Castiel completed, nodding. “It’s what he said.”

“We gotta find whatever belongs to…” Dean looked down at the papers. “Wyatt Minsk or Joel Carter.” He read.

Nodding, Castiel stood with his crowbar in hand while Dean started looking at the small tags placed under every object.

“Here!” Dean said. “Joel Carter. There’s a pocket watch with his name.” He looked at Castiel in question.

“What about the other one?” Castiel said as he saw the ghost appearing in front of him, his image faltering with the lights above them. “Wait! Look at the picture you brought! Which one looks like this man?” Cas yelled and Dean looked at him.

Dean kneeled and scattered through the papers, looking at the ghost and at the picture repeatedly until he was sure he could relate the both figures.

“It’s Wyatt!” Dean said and got up. He held his own crowbar and used it to break the glass of the showcase. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the ghost walking closer to Cas with both his hands on the air, controlling the wires of the television placed on the wall to their side.

The ghost wrapped one wire around Cas’ neck while the others floated around his chest, ready to go into his skin.

“Shit! Cas!” Dean yelled while he tried to look for Wyatt’s name under the objects.

“Dean get out of there!” Claire’s voice came from behind him and Dean tumbled back just in time to escape as a big lamp fell from the ceiling.

Claire left the bathroom and ran towards Dean, he wasn’t injured so she went straight to the shelf.

“Here.” Dean handed her his lighter, quickly getting up and reaching for his crowbar. “It’s Wyatt.”

When Dean turned around, he froze. Every single muscle of his body contracting and keeping him in place. Castiel had both hands around his own neck, trying to get rid of the wire. He let out a strangled, pained groan and that woke Dean, so he ran towards Cas and pushed the bar through the ghost’s body. Castiel fell to the floor and Dean immediately kneeled by his side.

“Fuck, Cas, are you okay?” Dean asked, worried. He untangled the wire out of Cas’ neck with shaking hands, seeing purple blooming on the soft skin. “Did he hurt you bad? Can you breathe, babe?”

Cas blinked at him and tried to focus his eyes on the wide green ones above him. “I’m fine.” He nodded, his voice coming out weak. “I’m okay.”

As they lifted their eyes, Wyatt was there again, holding the wires in their direction with pure rage behind his eyes. Claire found a fedora positioned above Wyatt’s name and held it tight, fumbling with the lighter while Dean tried to drag himself and Cas away from the ghost. When the flame finally touched the hat, Wyatt screamed and burned, the wires falling to the floor at their feet.

With a sigh, Dean fell back to the floor and he stared at the ceiling. The long, rectangular lamp above him swinging unsteadily. Widening his eyes in realization and fear, Dean rolled his body over Cas’, escaping again from getting hit by a lamp.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean mumbled against Cas’ chest and closed his eyes.

Claire bursted out laughing and Cas soon followed her.

 

***

 

After a long talk to explain to Lauren that everything was fine now and that the suspect had been taken into custody, Dean, Castiel and Claire left the Energy Company and went back to the hotel.

They had a long, late lunch and decided to call it the day. Claire had decided to go back to Sioux Falls right after they finished the hunt, so she had already checked-out of the hotel in the morning before going to the library.

The moment Dean closed the bedroom door he felt the weight of his shoulders spreading through his whole body and he realized how tense and hard all his muscles were.

“Dammit.” He murmured and laid on the bed with a groan.

“What’s the matter?” Castiel asked, getting closer and placing his hand on Dean’s knee.

“I don’t know.” Dean answered. “I’m just all stiff and tense I guess.”

“May I?” Cas lifted both hands and wiggled his fingers, both eyebrows raised.

Nodding, Dean sat and took his shirt off. Castiel took it from him and placed it on a chair while Dean laid on his stomach on the middle of the bed.

“Maybe you strained your muscles.” Castiel wondered, straddling the back of Dean’s thighs. “Were you feeling tense back at the Company?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dean mumbled against the pillow.

“Any idea as to why?” Cas asked, pushing his thumbs against Dean’s shoulder blades, earning a groan from him.

“I don’t know, babe.” Dean said. He slid both hands on the comforter until his arms were by the sides of his head. “I did kinda freeze when I saw you with those wires around your neck… yeah, I think that was it. I felt all my muscles contracting before I ran to you.”

“That must have been it.” Castiel nodded to himself and used a little more strength as he pushed his fingers against Dean’s skin. “Speaking of that… thank you for having my back.”

“That was nothing. I’ll always have your back.” Dean answered, voice completely muffled by the pillow now.

“I know.” Castiel smiled. “Just say “you’re welcome!” and take in the good feeling.”

Castiel listened to Dean’s sigh and leaned down to kiss his shoulder blades. Dean shivered and gripped the sheets tight.

“Are you feeling any better?” Cas asked after massaging his muscles for other ten minutes.

“Yeah.” Dean breathed. His face was completely blissed out.

“Good.” Cas said and shifted to release Dean’s legs and lay by his side.

Dean opened his eyes and stared right at Cas’. “Thanks.” He whispered and smiled a little.

“My pleasure.” Castiel smiled back at him and caressed the back of Dean’s hand.

Dean shifted to lay on his side. Cas closed his eyes for a second but opened them as he felt Dean’s fingertips touching the bruised red and purple skin of his neck.

“Is it hurting?” Dean whispered.

“No.” Cas said and closed his eyes again.

“I’m sorry.” Dean continued. “Wish I could’ve avoided that.”

“No.” Cas repeated and shook his head. “I was not your fault, Dean.”

Dean knew that, but his thoughts and feelings never stopped betraying him.

“It’ll be better soon.” Dean said and took Cas’ fingers on his, leaning closer to kiss him.

Immediately, Cas’ lips opened and Dean came even closer, their hands tangled together between their chests as their lips searched and took the contact and assurance they needed. Minutes went by with them continuing between caresses and whispers of love.

Despite all the bothering thoughts Dean had been experiencing, he was certain that Cas was the only one that could take words from him without even trying. And he wouldn’t let that happen for anyone other than Cas.

“I love you.” Dean mumbled against Cas’ cheek as Castiel sighed in his sleep. “I love you so much.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'Ruff Disaster of 1918' was a real thing, though I created the names of the victims for the sake of the case and the story. You can find details about it here:  
> \- http://www.siouxcityhistory.org/disasters/91-ruff-disaster-of-1918


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there!  
> I have finished writing the main part of this story (just in time with the end of s13 yay) so I'll be posting the chapters and crying over how much I adore this story.
> 
> well now have some family fluff:

 

On the following day, Dean and Cas couldn’t help but allow themselves to engage in some slow and soft morning sex before packing their things and checking-out from the hotel a little before 11 am.

Castiel dressed a sweater with a slightly higher collar to try hiding the red and purple bruises, and he requested that they stopped at a drugstore for stronger pain medication. After that, they stopped at a diner for a bite and then started their short drive to Sioux Falls.

“It’s a shame we didn’t get to enjoy the pools at the hotel.” Castiel said sadly, looking out the window.

Dean looked at him and saw how his neck was stretched to the side, showing the bruises freely. They were still strongly colored and looked terribly painful, but Cas hadn’t complained about it at all.

“Yeah, but we can go back there another time, babe.” Dean reached to the side and patted Cas’ thigh.

Castiel nodded and continued looking at the blurry green produced by the velocity of the car.

“You know… I can’t wait for all the drama this weekend.” Dean said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Drama?” Castiel turned and squinted at Dean. “Why would you think that there will be drama?”

“Well everyone will be there.” Dean shrugged. “And we’re a family. I guess that’s what families do when they’re together…” He sounded uncertain. “I mean, I wouldn’t know.” He chuckled.

Cas looked at Dean with fondness.

“Neither would I.” He said, also with a chuckle, and caressed the back of Dean’s neck, keeping his hand there.

“So how do we tell them?” Dean said after a while, feeling the gentle touches of Cas’ fingers. “About us, I mean.”

“Oh, I… I don’t know.” Castiel sighed and stopped touching Dean’s neck, placing both hands on his own lap.

“Maybe we don’t have to _tell_ them.” Dean said and shrugged. “If we just arrive there holding hands or something it will be obvious, right? Also Claire already knows… maybe she said something.”

“I suppose.” Castiel nodded and reached for his phone, leaning his head back against the window. The movement made Dean look up and see the lines on his neck again, and he couldn't help but feel guilty.

“Hey.” Dean called and Cas looked at him with a questioning look. “Thanks again for agreeing to come with me to the hunt.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad everything turned out fine.” Castiel smiled and leaned closer to kiss Dean’s cheek.

“Yeah…” Dean said and turned his head slightly to peck Cas’ lips.

After an hour, they were already driving through Sioux Falls, carefully looking for the right streets of Jody’s new house. When Dean parked in front of the big residence, Castiel sighed and nodded to himself.

“Cas.” Dean called softly, catching Castiel’s attention and sliding closer to him on the seat. “It’ll be fine, babe. I swear. It’s just our family.”

Cas nodded and pursed his lips for a second before smiling.

“Okay?” Dean asked, smiling at him.

“Okay.” Castiel answered and closed his eyes as his lips touched Dean’s, still with a little apprehension. Dean lifted his left hand and carefully placed it at the back of Cas’ neck. Cas opened his lips, his fingers searching for Dean’s other hand.

“Oh, man…” Dean mumbled against Cas' lips, breaking the kiss and then leaning back in disappointment. “We should’ve had more sex at the hotel!”

“What?” Cas frowned at Dean.

“We probably won’t have any alone time until we get back home.” Dean explained, looking at the house. “Dammit.”

“C’mon, Dean, it’s just a couple of days.” Cas said simply, patting Dean’s knee. “And there’s always the shower.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe I ended up with a shower sex monster…” Dean said playfully and pecked Cas’ lips one more time before they got out of the car in between chuckles.

Dean got hold of Cas' hand and pulled him towards the door, then he rang the bell and squeezed Cas’ fingers as he nodded in assurance.

“Coming!” They heard Jody screaming and a couple of seconds later she opened the door and smiled, surprised. “Dean! Castiel!” She said and moved forward to hug them both, but as she noticed their joined hands, she stopped herself with a gaping mouth.

“Hello, Jody.” Castiel said and smiled at her.

“Oh my God.” She pursed her lips and placed her left hand on her heart.

“Yeah, I know…” Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m a dumbass and everybody knew, but us.”

“It took me literally one look at you two.” Jody said and laughed. “But no, not a dumbass. C’mere.” Jody waved her hand and Dean let go of Cas’ hand to hug her. “No self-depreciating in my house, young man.”

Dean rolled his eyes again but retuned the hug with affection. “Hello to you too.”

After patting Dean’s back, she let him go and opened her arms to Castiel.

“She’s a hugger, Cas.” Dean said as he entered the house and walked around the corridor. “Be careful.”

“Oh, Dean, shut up.” Jody chastised and then smiled at Cas again.

Castiel smiled back and looked down before awkwardly walking closer and hugging her. “Thank you for inviting us over, Jody.” He said as she let him go. Jody closed the door after he walked inside. “We appreciate it.”

“Oh, no problem, darling.” Jody said. “C’mon let’s have some coffee and later we can get you both settled in.”

They sat on the living room while Jody went to the kitchen to get mugs and a coffee pot.

“I could’ve helped you.” Dean said, getting up at the sight of Jody carrying everything on her arms.

“I said it wasn’t necessary.” She widened her eyes at Dean and he just shook his head.

“Where is everyone?” Dean asked as he sat by Cas’ side again and placed an arm around his shoulders.

“Uhm, Mary took Jack, Claire and Kaia to the supermarket to get everything we’ll need for dinner.” Jody explained as she filled the three cups with warm, great smelling coffee.

“Kaia?” Dean asked with furrowed brows.

“Oh, right…” Jody said as if she remembered that she was supposed to have told them already. “Kaia is a dreamwalker. We took her in a couple of months ago after Claire and Alex caught her trying to escape from the hospital… it’s a long story.”

“It looks like you have been busy lately.” Cas commented.

Jody huffed a laugh and shook her head. “Tell me about it.” She said. "Besides them, Alex is working and Missouri needed to go to the drugstore.”

“Missouri will be here?” Dean asked excitedly. “Awesome! I miss her.” He said and smiled.

Castiel took the cups Jody offered and handed one to Dean, who gave him a kiss on the cheek as thanks.

“So, that’s why Dean was all weird on the phone.” Jody smiled knowingly at them.

“Yes.” Castiel nodded. “We assumed that Jack had told you about us.” He said and looked at Dean for a second.

“He never said anything.” Jody shook her head.

“Neither did Claire last night apparently.” Dean said and led the mug to his lips.

“No.” Jody squinted. “She did laughed a little when I asked about the hunt, though. Huh…”

Castiel smiled big and the hand that wasn’t holding the coffee went to Dean’s knee.

“How long have you guys been together officially?” Jody asked in between sips of coffee.

“Almost two months.” Castiel answered.

“Feels like years, though.” Dean completed and squeezed Cas’ shoulder. “We also have been living together for a few weeks now.”

“Living together, huh?” Jody said with both eyebrows raised. She wasn’t able to hide the huge smile on her face. “Didn’t think you’d give in, Dean.”

“He didn’t at first.” Castiel said and smirked at Dean, getting a grimace in return.

“We hunters never do.” Jody huffed a laugh and winked at Cas.

“So, how is the kid doing?” Dean changed the subject.

“Great!” Jody nodded. “Jack is really smart. Straight A’s at school, always wants to learn about everything he can…”

“I wonder where he got that from…” Dean said quietly, pressing himself against Cas even more.

“That’s great to hear.” Castiel said and sipped from his coffee, trying to hold back the burning on his cheeks.

“And he talks about you _all the time_.” Jody continued, reaching for more coffee. “It’s actually funny sometimes. He starts saying something random and suddenly adds “ _I wonder what Castiel thinks about this..._ ”.” Jody laughed and Dean and Cas did the same. “The other day I noticed him calling you his father to a friend at school.”

Castiel’s eyes widened for a second and he smiled, his throat tight.

“See?” Dean said and nuzzled Cas’ cheek before kissing it. “I told you he wants you to be his dad. Don’t know why you ever doubted that.” He leaned forward and placed his mug on the table, then reached for Cas’ mug and placed it there as well.

“Castiel, that boy really loves you.” Jody said and pursed her lips in a smile.

Cas nodded and swallowed his emotions, squeezing Dean’s knee. “We were thinking about the possibility of him living in Lebanon with us.” He said and felt as Dean’s fingers wrapped around his.

“Really?” Jody said in excitement, eyebrows raised. “I’m sure he would love that.”

Castiel smiled back. “We want to be more present in his life. And we plan on raising him together now that things are settled.” He looked at Dean, who nodded with a fond smile.

“Of course!” Jody nodded. “But don’t you dare think you haven’t been present enough, Castiel. You never let me pay for anything for him and talking to him on the phone daily always is the high points of his days.”

“If you think I have a problem with self-depreciating, you haven’t met this one.” Dean nodded towards Cas.

After squinting at Dean, Castiel nodded towards Jody. “We’ll speak to him, then.”

“Sure! Sounds like a plan.” Jody agreed. “If things work out Missouri might move here permanently then.”

“You’re planning something?” Dean asked.

“Sort of.” Jody sighed. “Last month I helped Missouri and her granddaughter Patience with a Wraith and they’ve been staying around since. Especially because Missouri’s son, Patience’s dad, was killed.”

“Really?” Dean widened his eyes. “You could’ve called.”

“Nah.” Jody shrugged one shoulder. “Wasn’t necessary. But anyway they’ve been around a lot and I’m thinking about teaming Patience and Kaia with Claire for some hunts when I get them more experienced.”

“That’s nice of you, Jody.” Castiel said, smiling at her.

Jody smiled back and was about to answer when they heard the shuffling of keys on the door.

“Just leave everything on the kitchen table, Jack. I’ll put everything on the right cabinets.” Claire’s voice came from the entrance and they heard someone running.

“He’ll never learn how to organize things if you and Jody just keep doing everything instead of teaching him.” Mary’s voice followed and Jody laughed. “That’s not parenting.”

“I’m listening to that.” Jody yelled.

“Great!” Mary said in return.

“Where are they?” Jack’s voice came from the hallway. He looked around while walking to the living room and stopped as soon as he spotted Castiel sitting on the couch with Dean, a big smile spread on his face. “Castiel!” He said and ran to the couch, sitting by Cas’ side and hugging him tight.

“Hello, Jack.” Castiel said and caressed Jack’s back. “How are you?”

Jack sat back and looked at Cas’ eyes. “I’m great.” He said, still smiling wide. “I’m very happy that you came here to see me.”

“And I’m very happy to be here.” Castiel answered with a smile as huge as Jack’s.

Dean kept looking between them, feeling his heart growing tight and happy. They absolutely could be a family, and now he could see that clearly.

“Hey Dean.” Jack said, finally looking at Dean and raising his hand, expecting a high five.

“Hey kid.” Dean answered and raised his hand to greet him. They both smiled and Castiel once again placed his hand on Dean’s knee.

“See? I just don’t want them to keep being stupidly gross in front of everybody.” Claire said to Mary and a brunette girl that Dean and Cas deduced to be Kaia. They were standing side by side on the entrance of the living room, watching as Jack greeted Dean and Cas.

“Claire, manners.” Mary whispered when she saw that Dean and Cas had listened to what she said.

“I knew you would tell someone.” Dean said, grimacing at Claire.

Claire rolled her eyes, letting go of Kaia’s arm. Mary smiled at them and walked closer for hugs.

“Hey, mom.” Dean said, squeezing her tight.

“Hi, Dean.” Mary said. “I’m glad you listened to me, honey.” She whispered. “I love seeing you happy.”

Dean nodded and stepped to the side, opening space so that Mary could hug Cas.

“Castiel.” She smiled big and opened her arms. “I was dying to have you as my son-in-law from the moment I met you.”

“Thank you, Mary.” Castiel said, hugging her and smiling. “I’m happy to be a part of this family.” He said as he stepped back.

“Hey you’ve always been a part of this family.” Dean said and got closer to Cas again, placing one arm around his waist and giving him a nuzzle on the cheek.

Claire made a fake sound of disgust and everyone laughed.

Jody cleared her throat and nodded towards Kaia, so Claire got the hint to introduce her.

“Kaia this is another part of my family.” Claire said, placing an arm around Kaia’s shoulders. “Dean is a hunter like us and Castiel is an angel.”

“An angel?” Kaia asked with both eyebrows raised and Castiel smiled.

“Mostly human now.” Castiel said at the same time Dean said: “Yeah. But he’s a good guy.”

“What? And the other angels aren’t good guys?” Kaia sounded even more confused.

“I’ll explain everything later.” Claire said with a smile towards Kaia. “His vessel used to be my dad’s body…”

Kaia’s eyes widened even more, and everyone chuckled.

“Later…” Claire scrunched her nose. “Guys, this is Kaia.” She continued. “She’s my badass dreamwalker girlfriend.”

Cas’ eyebrows shot up in surprise and delight.

“Nice to meet you, Kaia.” Dean said and Castiel nodded in agreement to his words. “Welcome to the family.”

“Thank you.” Kaia said, still quietly.

“Kaia is very nice.” Jack said suddenly. “We often train our powers together and we have a lot of fun.” He smiled and Kaia did the same.

“And that’s totally cool. Just don’t try to steal her from me.” Claire said, taking Kaia’s hand and pulling her towards an empty chair.

Mary went to get other mugs while Dean started telling them details about the hunt they just had. Both Dean and Cas felt thankful that no one asked about the marks on Cas’ neck.

“Oh.” Jack shifted quickly, turning towards Cas. “Castiel you’ve never seen my bedroom! It’s _so_ awesome! Do you want to see it?”

Cas smiled at Jack, noticing that the way he said the word “awesome” was exactly the same way Dean said it.

“Of course.” Cas said and got up after Jack. He patted Dean’s knee. “I’ll be right back.” He whispered with a smile.

Dean nodded and followed Cas with his eyes as he and Jack disappeared towards the stairs.

“It’s right over here.” Jack said, opening a brown wooden door.

Castiel carefully stepped inside. Looking around, he saw pots of flowers standing by the window, a mobile hanging from the ceiling with all the planets named and rotating slowly. On the bed, there was one pillow for each color of the rainbow. There were books on a bookshelf and some action figures specifically positioned by their side.

“This is a beautiful bedroom, Jack.” Cas said.

Post-it notes were glued everywhere on the walls. Cas walked closer to read some of them.

_“Breathe deeply 20 times whenever I feel the urge to hit something.”_

_“Jody’s phone number:”_

_“Wash the dishes and take the trash outside are my daily chores.”_

_“Chores are tasks I need to do at home to help.”_

_“Tractors aren’t Transformers.”_

_“Neither are trucks.”_

_“My age is 17 if people ask.”_

_“Dean’s phone number:”_

_“Hearts aren’t really shaped as they are drawn by people.”_

_“I should never mention supernatural things or my powers to anyone.”_

Castiel read them all with a fond smile, and he felt his heart quickening when he noticed his phone number on the Post-it that read: _“My father’s phone number:”_.

“These are very nice reminders, Jack.” Castiel said, his voice low and strained from emotion.

“Thank you.” Jack said. “Jody taught me how to do them.”

Cas’ eyes then noticed another Post-it that said: _“Clark’s phone number:”._

“Who’s Clark?” He asked, turning around.

“Oh, Clark is my friend.” Jack said, grinning. “Jody went to a retreat in Washington and took me with her, remember?” Jack explained.

Castiel nodded, Jack had called him to tell he was going with Jody, back in August.

“There was a haunted police station on a small town there, really close to where I was born.” Jack continued. “So we went there with Sheriff Barker and helped her. Her son is named Clark, and we became friends.”

“That’s very nice, Jack.” Cas said, smiling. “I’m happy to hear that.”

“Yeah. And he knows about me... what I can do.” Jack said excitedly. “He accidently saw me when we were dealing with the ghost, so Jody told him and his mom about the monsters and then we became friends.”

For a moment, Cas felt worry. But if Jody was involved, he knew things were settled.

“Then he showed me nougat and we spent the other days of the retreat having fun on the city.”

“Hey guys.” Dean’s voice came from the door, interrupting Cas’ answer. “What are you up to?”

“Dean!” Jack got up and pulled Dean inside by the arm. “Welcome to my bedroom.” He said and pointed around himself, grinning even wider.

Dean smiled at Cas and looked around. His eyes stopped on the action figures standing at the shelf. “So you like superheroes, huh?” He asked Jack and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yes.” Jack widened his eyes, surprised and anxious.

“You have any favorites?” Dean squeezed Jack’s shoulder and walked to the shelf.

“Uhm…” Jack thought for a second and then stopped by Dean’s side. “I like Venom.” He said and started pointing at the dolls. “Black Widow, Loki, Deadpool, Bucky...” Jack stopped for a second. “Hm, and Batman too.”

“Batman is awesome. They’re all awesome.” Dean said, getting hold of a Stormtrooper. “You like Star Wars, too? Damn, I guess we have a lot to talk about, kid.”

Jack nodded excitedly with a grin, and Castiel smiled from where he was sitting.

“Are you guys leaving on Sunday?” Jack asked and sat on an office chair by the study table.

“Probably Friday.” Dean said as he sat on the bed by Cas’ side. “Saturday tops.”

Jack’s face fell a little. Dean looked at Cas and got a nod.

“Listen, uh, Jack.” Dean started, taking Cas’ hand on his. “We know that you love living here with Jody, and you made friends at school and everything else.” He cleared his throat and squeezed Cas’ hand. “But Cas and I wanted to ask if you would like to go live in Lebanon with us.”

Jack’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Living with Jody was always meant to be a temporary arrangement.” Castiel continued, his voice soft. “So now that I’m ready to offer you what you need, and so is Dean, we want you to live with us.”

“Like a family?” Jack asked, his head leaning forward in interest and a little doubt.

“If that’s what you want, yes.” Castiel answered timidly. “We want to be your family, and if you want, you can have us as your parents.”

Jack looked between them and received sincere smiles, a nod from Dean.

“I want you to be my parents.” Jack said quietly with a smile, but immediately looked down. “But what about my bedroom?”

Castiel gaped and looked at Dean in confusion and despair. “What about your bedroom?” Dean asked, looking at Cas and then at Jack.

“I don’t wanna lose it. Or miss it.” Jack said, worry all over his voice.

“We, uh… we can take everything from here and you can decorate the bedroom there in the way you want.” Dean offered with a shrug.

Jack’s face lit up. “Oh! Okay then.” He said excitedly. “I thought I had to leave everything here if I lived in your house.”

“No!” Cas said, shaking his head and hand. “Of course not. We can even buy you new decorations if you want.”

“Thank you, Castiel.” Jack got up and walked to him. He sat by Cas’ side and hugged him. Then quickly got up to give Dean a hug as well. “Thank you, Dean.” He said. “I love you both.”

“We love you too, kid.” Dean said with a smile, looking at Cas.

“You guys want nougat?” Jack said. He got up and reached for a box full of candy bars. Castiel took one and thanked him. Dean did the same. “I like nougat.” Jack said before unwrapping his candy.

“I like it as well.” Castiel chuckled.

“Yeah.” Dean joined the laugh. “Nougat’s awesome.”

Smiling, they ate some bars and talked about superheroes until Jody called them for a snack.

 


	23. Chapter 23

 

Dean was sitting on the couch with Jack, going through his box of comic books, when Missouri arrived.

“Dean, dear!” She said and smiled as she walked closer.

“Missouri! Hey!” Dean said and placed the magazines on his side to get up and hug her. “It’s great to see you.”

“You’re doing great, aren’t you?” She continued, lifting her eyebrows. “Jack, honey, can you leave us for a minute so that Dean and I can talk alone?”

“Yes ma’am.” Jack nodded and gathered all of his belongings. He got up and walked away.

“Tell me about this energy I can feel radiating from you.” Missouri took one of Dean’s hands and they both sat on the couch, face to face. “This love and this… fear?” She tilted her head.

“What?” Dean squinted, huffing a laugh and looking away from her.

“I think you know what I’m talking about.” Missouri insisted with a knowing smile. “Who is it?”

Dean sighed, defeated, and smiled as well. There was no use in denying or pretending… Missouri would always know.

“Cas.” Dean said quietly, and then cleared his throat. “Castiel.” He said with a fondness he could not hold back. “He used to be an angel. Pulled me out of hell... literally. But now he barely has his grace.”

Missouri nodded knowingly and smiled at him. “I see.”

Dean opened his mouth to say that Cas was in the kitchen but when he looked behind Missouri he saw Cas at the entrance, holding a plate of sandwiches. Dean’s mouth immediately broke into a big smile that reached his eyes, and Missouri looked back.

“Hello.” Cas greeted, while walking closer. He placed the plate on the coffee table.

“This is Missouri, babe.” Dean introduced as the woman got up to hug Castiel. “She’s a psychic. Helped us a long time ago with dad, remember I told you?”

“Oh, yes.” Castiel nodded at him and accepted Missouri’s hug. “Pleasured to meet you. Dean always spoke very fondly of you, Missouri.”

“He better have.” Missouri looked back at Dean and they laughed. “Dean was just telling me about you, Castiel.”

Cas widened his eyes and nodded slightly as he moved to sit by Dean’s side.

“He doesn’t need to continue.” She smiled. “I can feel it now.”

“Feel it?” Castiel asked, squinting.

“You two have such a beautiful connection.” Missouri said, her fond smile never fading.

Dean looked at Cas, their eyes meeting in a smile.

“It’s the strongest one I have ever seen.” Missouri continued, catching their attention once again. “Although, so fragile at times...” She said with a squint.

Their eyes held worry and shame now, both knowing what she was talking about. Both knowing that she meant those little feelings and disturbances in their minds that they did not tell each other about.

“Please never cease to accept and believe in each other’s feelings.” Missouri said sincerely. “You have a beautiful, genuine love here, and I’m sure you can make the most out of it.”

“Thanks Missouri.” Dean said, his voice a little weak around the edges.

“Thank you.” Castiel said.

“No need for thanks, sweethearts. Just do your best and _always_ talk.” She looked at them intently. Then she smiled and sighed. “Well I’ll go get some food because those girls are fast.”

She waved at them and disappeared towards the kitchen.

Dean turned to Cas and they smiled weakly at each other.

The muffled conversations from the kitchen were slowly fading as their focus went entirely to each other.

“It’s unbelievable how much I love you.” Dean said in a helpless tone, he looked down with a smile and shook his head slightly.

“I love you, Dean.” Cas said and leaned closer, his lips touching Dean’s cheek. “You’re everything to me, my love.”

Dean shifted and searingly caught Cas’ lips on his for a few seconds, and then, nuzzling each other’s cheeks, they held each other’s hands, relishing on the comfort their skin provided.

When Jack’s voice sounded closer, they leaned back slowly, but pecked each other’s lips one last time.

“Can I come back now?” Jack asked, not entering the living room.

“Yeah, kid.” Dean laughed and got sandwiches for himself and Cas from the plate. “Come over here.”

Jack appeared on the entrance and walked to one of the armchairs, reaching for a sandwich as well.

“You guys got food before, right?” Claire said with her mouth full as she entered the room and went to the other armchair. “’Cause it’s over in the kitchen.”

“You guys eat way too much sometimes.” Jack said with a fond smile.

“Said the dude with boxes of candy in his bedroom.” Claire retorted.

“It’s not _candy_ … it’s nougat.” Jack looked at her and squinted.

Dean laughed quietly and placed his arm around Cas. They kept looking between the two teenagers while they ate.

“I’m so glad they get along as brother and sister.” Castiel whispered with a chuckle.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean said. “And they’re lucky to have you as their dad.”

“They’re lucky to have us both.” Cas said and tilted his head to rest it on Dean’s shoulder. “And we’re lucky to have them.”

 

***

 

The sleep arrangements caused loud conversations. Jody’s new house had five bedrooms. Besides Jody’s, one of them was Jack’s, one was shared by Alex and Claire, and the other two were for guests (one being occupied by Kaia and the other by Missouri and Patience).

The discussions got louder and louder, until Jody silenced everyone and said that Jack, Claire and Kaia could share his room and Alex would sleep with her on her bedroom because she would arrive late from work.

With that, Missouri could stay on Alex and Claire’s bedroom alone since Patience had decided to make a road trip with a friend and would not be there. Dean and Cas stayed with one guest bedroom and the other one would be for Sam and Eileen when they arrived.

“Thank God you have a big house, Jodes.” Dean chuckled.

“Yeah.” Jody sighed a laugh. “Let’s all get cozy and see what’s missing so I can get it, alright?” She clapped her hands a couple of times. “No grumpy faces, Claire and Jack. It’s just for a couple of nights.”

The small crowd dispersed to the bedrooms.

Dean closed the door to the bedroom designated to him and Cas and sighed.

“Damn.” He said, throwing himself on the bed.

“I know.” Cas said with a laugh and sat by his side. Their bags making a terrible weight on the edge of the bed, a reminder that they should organize them before they ended up wearing dirty clothes.

“I miss our bed already.” Dean whined and reached for Cas’ wrist.

“Me too.” Cas said quietly, adjusting his hand so that their fingers laced together. “But at least we’re together… and now alone.”

“Not really.” Dean mumbled. Cas frowned, so Dean pulled him closer until he could whisper directly on Cas’ ear. “Missouri surely can read our thoughts, and we don’t know for sure if Jack has some sort of super hearing or whatever.” He said. “I’m not taking risks.”

Cas sighed and rested his forehead against Dean’s. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay.” Dean said and reached up to give a kiss to the corner of Cas’ mouth.

Castiel sat back and took a deep breath.

“Jack is moving in with us...” He said and huffed an emotional laugh, grinning.

Dean immediately smiled back.

“We kind of have a kid!” He pushed himself up on his elbows. “This is so fucking scary and cool.”

Castiel laughed, still anxious. “I know.” He said and shook his head. “I honestly think we’re ready, but it’s terrifying nonetheless.”

“Deep down I know we’ll be great.” Dean said. “With you, I can do this.”

Castiel smiled at him.

“Besides… Jack is amazing and we have a huge family now to help us.” Dean assured him.

“Yes.” Castiel agreed and got up to start arranging their bags. “Do you think Claire would like to spend some time at home with us too? I don’t want her to feel like we only care about Jack…”

“Of course she would.” Dean assured him and sat on the bed to go through one of their bags. “She just has a hard shell.”

“Much like you.” Cas said sassily, a smirk on the corner of his lips.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Dean huffed a laugh, feeling himself get warm as he looked down.

“I don’t mean that, Dean.” Cas said seriously, reaching for Dean’s arm. “You came a long way, you know… I appreciate that.”

Dean looked up at Cas and managed a smile followed by a nod.

Together, they folded some clothes and separated new ones to dress on the following day.

“It’s nice, you know…” Dean said a couple of minutes later, and Castiel hummed for him to continue. “I never had so much family at once. Kinda scares the shit out of me.”

Cas tilted his head and frowned. “I think there’s no reason to be scared.” He said and Dean smiled. “Only reasons to enjoy it.”

Swallowing the bad feelings, Dean nodded.

 

***

 

When Castiel’s eyes opened slowly on the following morning, Dean was still snoring quietly by his side, his head almost tucked under Cas’.

There was a faint light coming from a space between the curtains. He squinted and lifted his free hand to his eyes when he looked in that direction. There were no noises to be heard other than Dean’s breathing, so Cas assumed it couldn’t be more than 7 am. He groaned quietly and wished they were home, so that he could go back to sleep for at least four more hours.

“Babe?” Dean’s voice came in a mumble. His lips tickling the skin behind Cas’ ear.

“Mhmm?” Castiel hummed in agreement, and then turned to the side to be face to face with Dean.

“Why’re you awake?” Dean continued, his left hand already looking for Cas’ under the blankets.

“I don’t know.” Cas met his hand and their fingers immediately connected. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“You didn’t.” Dean yawned.

They remained quiet for a minute.

“I think I really miss our home.” Cas whispered. “It’s too early for me to be having these thoughts… about how long I lived without a home and how easily I adapted to having one, so now I’m afraid to lose it all.” The words came out of Cas’ mouth involuntarily. “To lose you…”

“Yeah.” Dean said and shifted to be even closer to Cas. “It’s way too early, sweetheart.” He knew exactly what Cas was talking about, but he felt like it wasn’t time for him to talk about it just yet.

“I’m sorry.” Cas mumbled and Dean let go of his hand to hug his body.

“No. No more apologizing.” Dean said, his lips against Cas’ cheek. “You’re not gonna lose anything, okay? And you said it yourself last night… there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Cas hugged Dean’s waist and nodded slightly.

“I’m right here, and you’re right here with me.” Dean continued. His voice was a whisper, reassuring both of them deeply. “I promise you that nothing can ruin that for us.”

Dean shifted to touch Cas’ lips with his own. The pressure necessary so that Cas could understand and feel his words.

“Okay?” Dean asked and got a nod from Cas, whose lips were searching Dean’s again, this time open and wanting… needy.

Minutes went by with them being a mess of tangled limbs on the bed, adjusting their bodies and making sure to absorb every little feeling and sensation.

“Thank you.” Castiel whispered and pecked Dean’s lips one last time.

Dean nuzzled Cas’ cheek again and remained caressing his back until they both fell asleep.

 

***

 

The day passed quickly. Sam and Eileen arrived in the middle of the morning and ended up waking Dean and Castiel up with their conversations on the hallway.

When all the voices they could hear were downstairs, Dean and Cas took the opportunity to sneak to the bathroom for a shower.

During the day, everybody took turns helping with a dish for dinner, and when they were not at the kitchen, they kept each other busy with light conversations, video games, board games or TV.

It was easy and calm, something new for most of them.

Jody called them all to the dining table when everything was ready, and after a couple of minutes, everybody was comfortably sitting there and admiring the feast.

“So, we won’t be doing the “what we’re grateful for” speeches ‘cause nobody needs that.” Jody said, getting a laugh from everyone present. “We’re all here alive and kicking… that’s what matters.”

Castiel searched for Dean’s hand under the table, then quickly looked from Claire to Jack, thinking about how much he loved them and really was grateful for having them around, as well as everyone else present.

“To family!” Missouri raised her glass of wine and everyone did the same, repeating her words in between smiles.

The conversations were loud and so were the laughs. People passed dishes to each other and complimented on how good everything tasted. The usual jokes, stories and teasing were always in the middle of their conversations… they were a family after all.

It felt amazing for Castiel to have so many people around, people that actually cared about him and would help him if he ever needed. Those were all new feelings, and he could not wait to enjoy them for the rest of his life.

More than once, he caught himself looking lovingly at Dean, thanking him mentally for giving him the opportunity to be a part of that. He made sure to say that to Dean before bed.

 

***

 

Dean and Castiel decided to leave on Friday afternoon, wanting to be able to spend at least a little time together and alone until the end of the holiday.

Jack was upset all morning, sitting quietly on the couch, changing channels. It was obvious that he was not paying any attention to the television.

“Hey kid.” Dean said as he entered the living room with Jody. She sat on a little stool, between the armchairs Sam and Eileen were sitting at, and Dean sat by Cas’ side on the big couch with Jack.

“Hey.” Jack said quietly.

“What’s up with you?” Dean asked in a low voice, placing both elbows on his knees to see Jack better.

“Are you upset?” Cas asked, also quietly. Jody was talking to Sam and Eileen on the background.

Jack shrugged and continued to look at the TV.

“Do you wish to talk about it?” Castiel continued, carefully touching Jack’s shoulder, trying not to scare him.

“Maybe tell us what you are feeling?” Dean tried.

“I think I am… sad?” Jack said and finally looked at them.

“Why?” Dean questioned.

“Because I don’t want you and Castiel to leave.” Said Jack.

“You’ll come live with us, remember?” Dean said and reached over Cas’ legs to touch Jack’s knee. “We’ll see each other soon, buddy.”

“Soon when?” Jack asked, sounding hurt.

“When do you want to see us again?” Cas asked, trying not to sound too touched.

“Tomorrow.” Jack answered with determination, sitting straight. Dean and Cas both smiled.

“We need to make some arrangements before you can move.” Dean explained calmly. “We need to think about where you will go to school, how we’ll take your things from here…”

“And I’m sure we’ll need proper documentation for you as well.” Castiel completed Dean’s speech.

“But those things will take forever!” Jack almost whined.

“We promise it won’t.” Dean said.

“Uh, guys…” Sam called from the other side of the coffee table and they all looked at him. “I work at a school, remember? I can get him transferred easily.” He said.

“Yeah Sam, but we are not loaded.” Dean huffed a laugh. “Your school is pretty fancy.”

Sam gave him a bitchface. “I work there, Dean.” He said again. “I can get a discount.” He shrugged.

Castiel narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure, Sam?” He asked. “We don’t want to ask anything from you if it’ll bring you trouble.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Cas.” Sam shook his head. “They like me, apparently.”

Dean squinted at his brother.

“He was promoted.” Eileen said, explaining what Sam probably was not going to mention. “He’s not just a teacher anymore. He’s a coordinator too.” Her smile got even bigger, showing how proud she was.

Sam looked at her and smiled fondly.

“What?!” Dean said with a smile. “Dude, that’s awesome!”

“Congratulations, Sam!” Castiel said, also smiling.

Jody and Jack also complimented him while Eileen looked proudly at her boyfriend.

“Yeah, alright.” Sam said, almost blushing. “Thanks, guys. But anyways, I think I can get him studying there next week if that’s what you want.”

“And I can deal with the documents.” Jody offered. “Register him under your name and make him officially your kid without raising suspicions from the government to your criminal record.” She raised her eyebrows in mock accusation.

“You’re the one to talk.” Dean said and Jody squinted at him.

“Please, we don’t wish to add tasks to your jobs.” Castiel said, slightly raising his hand to emphasize his point.

“It’s really not a problem.” Jody assured him. “We all want you and Dean to be happy. Jack too. Even if that means me missing him a lot.”

“I’ll miss you, Jody.” Jack said with a fond smile at her.

“You remind me so much of my boy.” Jody said quietly and smiled, trying to hide the emotions in her eyes. “I, uh…” She started but cleared her throat. “I can get the documents done fast.”

“We appreciate it very much, Jody.” Castiel said sincerely. “Everything you did. Especially since you had absolutely no obligation.”

“It was my pleasure, Castiel. Don’t you worry about that.” Jody said and winked. She looked between all of them. “Actually all I want is for you guys to let me use the bunker now and then to train my girls.”

“Done.” Dean said immediately, waving both hands. “The place is all yours.”

“So I can go to your house next week?” Jack asked.

“As soon as we have the school things settled you can come over.” Dean answered, looking at Cas and getting a nod.

Jack smiled big and nodded, trying to hide a little bit of his happiness in order not to make Jody hurt.

Soon later, they packed and started arranging the car with Claire’s help. She placed one bag on the backseat and stood closer, watching them.

“Yo, Claire…” Dean started, noticing how she was looking fondly at Cas. “We want you to come over to visit and stay some time with us. Kaia too.”

Claire’s eyebrows and lips raised slightly but she quickly hid the movements. “Sure, yeah…” She nodded and shrugged.

“The fact that Jack is going to live with us doesn’t affect the way we feel about you, Claire.” Castiel said, getting closer to her and Dean. “I may not be your real father, but I think of you as my daughter.”

Claire nodded and smiled. “Thanks, Cas.” She said and then looked at Dean. “And Dean too. Thanks, guys.”

“You are always welcome to come to our house whenever you want. We have a place for you there.” Cas added.

“You know which road to take, kid.” Dean winked at her and patted her shoulder on his way back to the house to start saying goodbyes.

Claire kept looking at Cas, and Cas felt the urge to hug her, so he opened his arms and looked at her expectantly.

“You _are_ my father, you know?” Claire said with an eye roll as she stepped closer and closed her arms around Cas’ middle.

Castiel sighed an emotional laugh and hugged her shoulders. “I appreciate that, Claire.” He said, whispering. “Please, come over to see us.”

“I will.” Claire said and nodded as she stepped back.

They went back to arranging the bags in the car.

“You know what…” Claire said, stopping and crossing her arms. “I changed my mind. I like this version of you better… no ties and all smiles.” She grinned. “Looks good on you, Cas.”

“Oh.” Cas looked down at his own body and slightly gripped his light blue jeans. “Thank you.” He said with a shy smile. “And it’s nice to see you so smiley with Kaia… you make a beautiful couple.”

Claire blushed visibly and nodded.

Just then, Dean came out of the house with everyone else, and they all started saying goodbyes, making promises to go visit each other as soon as they could.

When Missouri hugged Cas, she couldn’t help but whisper what was on her mind since she met him. “Please, human angel… let go. Allow yourself to feel without fear. You will be _so_ happy if you do.”

She smiled at Cas and gently patted the side of his face when she stepped back. Castiel nodded as much as his shock and surprise let him, and proceeded to say goodbyes.

Minutes later, Dean and Cas got in the car and started their drive back home.

 


	24. Chapter 24

 

It did not take long for Castiel to fall asleep. Ten minutes out of town and his eyelids were already giving up and closing at any chance they got until Cas finally let them be.

Dean glanced at Cas’ serene state of slumber and immediately Missouri’s words came running to his mind to bother him.

_Tell me about this energy I can feel radiating from you… This love and this… fear?_

He obviously knew what she was talking about. What he did not know -and successfully managed to avoid- was the fact that the fear he had been feeling was a real thing.

It was not a big deal in his opinion. He just sometimes felt this small tug in his gut whenever he thought about what he had with Cas, what he was building. A fear originated on everything he lost during the years… _everyone_ he lost. When Cas voiced that same concern back at Jody’s house and Dean had to comfort him, he was sure that he was trying to comfort himself too.

Cas had a huge influence on him, there was no use denying that.

Dean was never that soft and caring with people, not even with previous lovers. He used to call them pet names and endearments, yes. But this _thing_ he felt, this need, love and affection was so new and scary. Especially because he was certain he would not move on if he ever lost it.

All of that made him angry. He was never supposed to feel that way for anyone. He had a plan.

In his opinion, so far he was doing a great job on hiding it. He was going outside and chopping some wood to distract himself, working at Cas’ garden, cleaning up the house for no reason, staying a little longer at the garage and even working on baby and Cas’ truck. He only hoped Cas had not noticed that.

It was not fair that after everything he had been through he still had to fear and worry about people he loved being taken from him. However, he had promised to be more open and try not to care too much about these fears, so he was doing the Dean Winchester special: he sucked it up and ignored everything… until that moment.

The road in front of him felt and looked heavy, and his body was completely tense.

Cas shifted and sighed by his side, and Dean immediately looked at him and pursed his lips on a smile that weighted his heart. He loved him _so_ much.

The minutes of overthinking became hours and by the time Dean noticed, they were already entering Lincoln. He immediately remembered that they were supposed to make a stop there, so, as he had planned, Dean stopped the car across the street from a shop called _Romantix_.

He shook Cas awake and pointed at the store. Castiel squinted until he remembered that they had planned to buy some special intimate objects on the way back home. He looked at Dean and grinned, getting a small smile in return.

Dean definitely was not feeling fine… but his worries were not Castiel’s fault. So he took Cas’ hand and they walked towards the store.

The construction was very appealing, all in white and light brown, somehow adorable for a sex shop. A little bell rang when they opened the glass door and Castiel could not help but smile. He honestly never thought he would be doing that, much less with Dean.

Two young men, a woman and a muscular, angry-looking man all looked at the door for a second after the noise. The woman said hello from behind a counter and sympathetically told them to call her if they needed anything. Smiling, Cas nodded and waved at her as he felt Dean pulling him towards a row of shelfs with a sign that said “toys for men” above them.

Dean let go of his hand to go through the objects, not saying a word. When Cas looked to the side, he saw a shelf with a variety of brands and types of lubrication, so he got closer to check them out. He took three bottles of the one they always used since it was cheaper than usual, and one bottle of the waterproof lube they bought days before. _Maybe our shower intercourse can be even better with that._ , he thought. After a couple of minutes, he noticed Dean was holding a dark blue shopping basket and had already placed items inside it. Getting closer to him, Cas peeked inside the basket.

He placed the lube bottles with the other objects and winded his arm around Dean’s shoulders.

“What are those?” Castiel asked, examining the packages.

“Vibrators.” Dean said simply.

“Four of them?”

Dean shrugged and shifted, so Cas’ arm fell from around him. Castiel frowned and noticed Dean was not smiling or seemed slightly content to be there.

“Dean?” He called softly but Dean did not look at him. “Dean, please.” He insisted.

Dean looked to his side and pursed his lips. “What?” He said.

“What’s the matter?” Castiel asked, confused. “Why are you acting like that?” He said and stopped himself, thinking. “Was it not appropriate to have greeted that woman when we came in?” Cas whispered, worried.

“What?” Dean frowned slightly but went back to the scowl. “Of course not, dude. Don’t be stupid.”

Castiel’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned back. Dean had not been calling him “dude” anymore. And it had been a long time since he was rude like that.

“I’m sorry if I did something to upset you.” Cas said carefully, before turning back to the shelf. He was still confused, but now hurt as well. He heard Dean sigh and go through the hanging objects.

Castiel’s mind started to go places, thinking that maybe Dean only agreed to come to the shop because he was so excited about it. Maybe he didn’t really want that... but then again Dean was the one to suggest they got sex toys in the first place.

In the meantime, Dean desperately wanted to kick his own ass. He should not be pushing Cas away like that. He had not done anything to deserve Dean’s anger. _It was not Cas’ fault._

After swallowing thick, Castiel turned to Dean and watched him for a few seconds.

“Did you not want to come here with me, Dean?” Cas said, still quietly. “Did I cross a line of some sort? Misread your proposition?”

Dean closed his eyes and pursed his lips. “No. It’s…” He sighed. “It’s nothing.” He said and opened his eyes.

“Are you sure?” Cas insisted. “Because I’m certain that you are not being yourself right now.”

“What do you want me to say, Cas?” Dean turned to him and said in a heated whisper. “Huh?”

“Maybe tell me why in hell are you acting the way you used to act before we started dating?” Castiel answered in a calm tone of voice, trying not to draw any attention to them. Luckily, they were behind a shelf.

Dean shook his head after taking a deep, shaky breath.

“I’m sorry, Cas… I’m…” He started. “I was thinking shit in the car and I didn’t mean to pour my anger on you. I swear... I’m so sorry, babe.”

Castiel nodded in between his frown. He stepped closer to Dean again.

“Please, don’t let your walls back up, Dean.” He said and caressed Dean’s forearm tentatively. “Talk to me about it, remember?”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded and finally looked Cas in the eye, and Cas could see the fear and the vulnerability. “But not here. It’s better if we wait until we’re home.”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” Castiel smiled a little at Dean and squeezed his hand.

“Let’s buy our stuff and we can talk about my shit when we’re home.” Dean said and Castiel felt like he was talking to himself, in a reassuring mode.

“Yes.” Castiel agreed.

Dean finally smiled and squeezed Cas’ hand in return. They both tried to push the confused thoughts and feelings aside for the next minutes, in order to enjoy what they were doing. Dean lifted the basket and pointed to the objects as Cas started caressing his back up and down, between his shoulder blades.

“Uhm… I got three sizes of the same vibrator.” Dean started explaining slowly. “Because we need to grow used to it. And the other one is just a plug.”

“Okay.” Castiel nodded.

It was not as weird as Dean thought it would be to talk about that. Maybe because Cas didn’t have the whole human shame and embarrassment thing when it came to sex.

“Now take a look at them.” Dean pointed to the shelfs around them. “Maybe you see something you like.”

Cas turned around and spotted a variety of what he mentally defined as “ _penis-alike_ _objects_ ”.

“Those are dildos.” Dean said behind him and they both walked towards the shelf. “I have some, like I told you.” He stopped by Cas’ side and pointed to some of the toys as he spoke. “This one is a bendable one, which is pretty cool. This other one has a suction cup base so it sticks to places… like the shower wall, or the bed. And this one is a normal one. Also nice.”

Nodding, Cas looked through everything that caught his eye.

“What about this one?” He took one from the wall and showed to Dean.

“Uhm that’s a double sided one.” Dean said, getting hold of the package. “We can both use it at the same time, you know?”

Cas’ eyes widened in interest, so Dean smiled and placed the package in the basket.

“Anything else you liked?” Asked Dean.

Castiel squinted for a second. “I don’t know.” He said. “You said you already have some things so I believe we chose enough new objects to last a while.”

Dean smiled at him. “Yeah, okay.” He said and took Cas’ hand. “Let’s go.”

They paid while Cas chatted with the attendant, telling her he really enjoyed the ambiance of the shop and felt very welcomed. Dean smiled at himself, thinking of how only Cas could be that carefree. _And that’s one of the many reasons I love him and should let go of my shit._ , he reminded himself.

After they got in the car, Dean turned the radio on but left the volume down. Cas stayed awake through the rest of the trip, but they didn’t talk except for the moment Cas asked if they could stop because he needed to go to the bathroom.

As soon as they arrived home, they knew they would sit and talk. Cas went to the kitchen to make them tea while Dean took their bags from the car and left everything on the hallway, then checked the whole house to see if everything was okay.

By the time Dean walked into the kitchen, there were two cups of steaming tea on the table and Cas was leaning against the counter, staring ahead, eyes lost and thoughts far away. Dean walked closer to him and stood by his side before hugging him tight, his body pressing against the side of Cas’.

“I’m so sorry for being a dick to you.” He said, whispering as he nuzzled Cas’ cheek.

“It’s okay.” Cas blinked, waking up.

“No it isn’t.” Dean insisted. “I promised you on our first day together that I wouldn’t keep shit to myself and I did. And I hurt you in the process.”

“Dean, it’s fine, really.” Cas tried to say, his voice faltering. “I understand.”

Dean only shook his head and rested his forehead on Cas’ temple. “I love you, Cas.” He said, quietly. “You know that scares me like hell. I’ve said it a thousand times.”

Castiel rearranged his arms and placed both hands on the arm Dean had on his front, across his chest.

“What happened?” He asked gently, leaning against the touch of Dean’s head on his.

“Missouri said what I’ve been avoiding.” Dean said. “She said she saw my feelings for you but she also saw my fear of them.”

Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s forearm.

“And I am. I’m so scared of losing you, Cas.” Dean’s voice was weak, and he was glad he was not looking Cas in the eye. “I manage to avoid the thoughts, I do stuff and I just keep myself busy but sometimes everything comes crashing down and I panic on the inside.”

“That’s why sometimes you have been backing off and keeping away?” Cas asked, realizing. “I thought you seemed better in the time we spent at Jody’s house but then you started acting weird again…”

“Yeah.” Dean whispered in a sigh. “You noticed?”

“Of course I noticed.” Cas said with fondness and worry. “Besides all the weird actions, it’s not exactly normal of you to just get out of bed after sex to work on the car without at least five minutes of cuddles.” He laughed a little.

“Man hugs.” Dean tried to say seriously but his smile betrayed him.

They both chuckled weakly, smiling for a second.

“I’m sorry about that.” Dean said, voice sad again. “I didn’t wanna push you away. And I don’t have any excuses… I was a real ass, that’s it.”

“Dean.” Cas said and Dean leaned his head back to look at him.

Castiel pursed his lips on a smile and shifted so that Dean could open his arms. When Dean did, Cas took his hand and guided him to the table to sit. Their tea stood there, untouched.

“Missouri said the same thing to me.” Castiel said calmly. “I, too, am afraid of losing you.” Dean opened his mouth but Cas squeezed his hand, so he didn’t say anything. “We have a lot of bad events and loss in our pasts, so we’re entitled to be wary… the problem is that we’re starting to be worried to an extreme, and that will end up impairing our relationship.”

Dean nodded. This was all very frustrating to both of them.

“We can’t live our lives in fear, Dean. We did that for so long and it never brought us any good.” Cas said, the pain and frustration in his voice was obvious. “There is so much we can do together. So much to live and to experience. So much love to feel and memories to make…” He smiled. “I have loved you for so long now and I definitely don’t want something as futile as fear to ruin what we have been building.”

“Me neither, Cas.” Dean said, squeezing Cas’ fingers. “I don’t want to feel this fear and this constant… worry. It’s so fucking annoying but I don’t know what to do to stop.”

Castiel nodded and leaned forward to look closely and directly into Dean’s eyes. He sighed and nodded once.

“We can’t stay fearing and worrying about the “what ifs” of life and ignoring what actually is here, happening.” He said, decidedly. “So _if_ something happens, well… we’ll figure it out _then_.”

“We’ll figure it out then.” Dean repeated with a smile and kissed Cas’ cheek. “I remember you once said that we're making everything up as we go… you remember that?” He asked and rested his forehead against Cas’.

Castiel nodded and leaned even more into Dean’s touches.

“That got to me, you know?” Dean whispered. “All these years, in my darkest moments, your words were always here in my mind… _you_ were in my mind, telling me it would be fine and that nothing is destined.”

“So let’s continue with that in mind.” Cas said before pressing his lips against Dean’s in a quick kiss. “Promise me.” He continued. “We will only worry about things if they actually happen. Promise?”

“Promise.” Dean said and nodded, seriously.

“Now let’s drink our tea and then unpack so that we can go to our comfy bed and enjoy it.” Castiel said with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan.” Dean lifted his eyebrows at Cas and smiled before leaning in for a long kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *breathes in* goodbye Dean's bad feelings


	25. Chapter 25

 

The weekend went by very quickly and lazily.

Dean and Cas barely left the house, only going out for groceries on Saturday morning and then spending the rest of the time curled up together on the couch or the bed. They took a break from cooking and just chilled with take-outs and snacks, enjoying the time to watch movies and TV shows they were thinking about for weeks.

On Tuesday afternoon, they were both in the car, which was parked in front of the school Sam was working at.

“Okay so we just say the truth in a… believable way.” Dean offered, looking at Cas.

Castiel answered with a nod. “I think I can do that.” He said.

“We can answer things together, so if something sounds weird we can try to fix it immediately okay?” Dean asked.

They both nodded at each other, but continued inside the car.

Jody had called early on Monday to let them know that Jack’s documents would be ready by Thursday, so they only needed to get Jack a place to study and everything would be ready. Sam managed to schedule a meeting with the Principal on that Tuesday afternoon, so Dean and Cas left work a little early to be at the school before it closed.

“We can totally do this.” Dean said decidedly. “I’ve been to many meetings as Sam’s guardian so I can totally do it for Jack now.”

Cas knew Dean was talking to himself.

“Yes.” He said in encouragement. “You can do this. And you’re nothing like your father so you’ll do a great job for Jack, just as you did for Sam.”

Dean nodded and looked at Cas with an emotional smile. “And you’re nothing like your father.” He said and squeezed Cas’ hand. “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s do this.” Cas repeated and smiled back at him.

They pecked each other’s lips and opened the doors. Dean walked around the car after locking it and stood by Cas’ side to take his hand again.

Sam was waiting for them at the entrance of the school. He smiled big when they got closer. “I can’t believe you guys were making out in the car in front of a school.” He said with a smirk. “That’s gross.”

“Why would I not kiss him when I have the chance to kiss him?” Dean answered before giving Sam a hug and a pat on the back.

“We were just “pep talking” as you say.” Cas said and gave Sam a hug as well.

“No reason to be nervous, guys.” Sam said as he opened the glass door and guided them inside. “Principal Cortez might look harsh sometimes but she’s really gentle and kind. She’s excited to meet you, actually.”

Dean and Cas looked at each other in apprehension.

As they walked, Sam fiddled with the identification card he had hanging around his neck, the string was filled with colorful beads and small objects, probably from the kids he taught.

All the walls around them were light blue and had many drawings and art projects hanging on them.

“I extended Jack’s school records from what he already has to make it look like he was actually born 17 years ago, and not six months ago.” Sam said. “Oh and I told her you guys are married so just… roll with it.” He added with a smirk and quickly knocked on a light brown door to their left, preventing them from answering. “Excuse me, Ms. Cortez. The Winchesters are here.”

Dean and Cas widened their eyes at Sam for the lie, but weren’t able to say anything because the door was wide open already.

“Come in, please.” The Principal said.

Dean and Cas entered the room, receiving a pat on the back from Sam before he closed the door and left.

“Good Afternoon, I’m Principal Amy Cortez.” A considerably young woman stood from her chair and offered them her hand above the table.

“Good Afternoon, I’m Castiel and this is my husband Dean.” Cas shook her hand and smiled. The words coming naturally.

Dean smiled as well and shook Ms. Cortez’s hand with a greeting. They both sat on the chairs disposed on one side of her large table and immediately got hold of each other’s hand.

“So, Sam told me your wish to make your son our student.” Amy said, looking down at some papers until she found a specific one and smiled. “How is this story? Is he a foster child?”

“It’s an unusual story, actually.” Dean said with a charming smile, the one he used on cases to get what he needed. “Cas’ brother is Jack’s biological father but he never wanted or accepted Jack as his son. His mom died during his birth so the kid ended up living with a friend of the family ever since he was a child.”

“And now Jack is your son?” Amy asked with interest.

“Yes. Well, we always had a strong connection with Jack. He’s a very special child despite his father and his behaviors.” Castiel started, looking at Dean and then at the Principal. “So when we finally felt able to give him a stable and propitious place to live and develop with stability, Dean and I discussed and decided to ask if Jack would like to have us as his family… have us officially as his parents.” He explained.

“Since he said yes we’ve been organizing things to welcome him to our home soon.” Dean completed.

“That’s wonderful.” Amy said with a smile. “So I’m guessing you have a good relationship as a family?”

“Yes, we do.” Cas said with a nod. “Jack is very reasonable and interested, talking to him and giving him limits was never a problem to us.”

“And you two have been together long?” Asked her, the friendly smile still on her face.

“Almost ten years now.” Dean said and looked fondly at Cas. “Though the first three years we were both very oblivious to it and thought it was just a fling.”

“I bet Sam has great stories about that.” Amy said with a laugh.

“Poor little brother got stuck in our bickering for so long.” Dean said and all three of them laughed.

“Well, I don’t have any complaints or objections.” Amy shrugged, leaning forward on her chair. “Sam emailed me Jack’s records yesterday and I have to say… it’s hard to say no to such a fine collection of A’s.” The Principal said, looking at the paper she had in hand and then back at them.

Cas smiled proudly at that, and Dean squeezed his hand.

“I can definitely work with a contract to offer you Sam’s employee discount.” Amy said, her tone now completely professional. “We would love to have Jack as our student and I’m certain that he’ll make a great addition to our student body.”

“We appreciate this opportunity very much, Ms. Cortez.” Cas said, also seriously. “Jack is very eager to come to Lebanon. When he heard about the possibility of studying at the school in which his so beloved Uncle Sam teaches, we had to hold him back from starting to pack immediately.”

Amy laughed at Cas’ words and rolled her chair back towards a shelf behind her.

“Well then… the sooner he can get here, the better.” She stated. “This is the contract I’ll need you both to sign and fill with yours and Jack’s information.”

“We’ll do it as soon as possible.” Castiel said and took the papers she was offering.

“Oh! Before I forget…” She raised one finger. “Our school has a strict inclusive policy. If there’s one thing we do not accept, that is any sort of prejudice, intolerance or disrespect towards people.”

Dean felt his heart get warmer and he wished people were more like Amy.

“We appreciate the support. It means a lot.” Cas said, seriously. His fingers tight in between Dean’s. “We all must know how to respect each other profoundly, and that’s what we’ve always taught Jack. I’m glad he will be in a place where that will continue to be valued and taught.”

Nodding, Dean swallowed thick his emotions on being so welcomed.

Then, they went through details of the contract and of the employee discount they would get in Sam’s name, asking questions and making notes for future study.

“As soon as the papers are back with me, he can start attending classes.” Amy said, now reaching for a booklet from a pile. “Here we have some points we take in consideration as an institution and education professionals, such as uniforms, didactic books, schedules and related.” She handed the book over and Dean took it. “I’m available for possible doubts and questions, feel free to call.”

“Thank you very much, Principal Cortez.” Dean said. “We really appreciate this opportunity, and so does Jack.”

“My pleasure.” Amy looked between Dean and Cas with a genuine smile. “Well, I suppose this is it for now, but I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other soon.” She got up and walked around the table to stand close to the door. Cas and Dean also got up and walked towards her.

“Yes.” Castiel said and offered Amy a handshake. “Thank you very much.”

“I’m happy to help and offer possibilities.” Amy said as she shook Cas’ hand and then Dean’s.

“We’ll be in touch.” Dean said as he took Cas’ hand and they stepped outside the door.

“Have a nice week.” Principal Cortez said and they both thanked her and waved.

Dean let go of Cas’ hand and placed his arm around Cas’ shoulders, pulling him close as they walked away from the office.

“That went great.” He said with a smile. “Parenting is kinda cool.”

Castiel laughed. “It was incredibly pleasant as well.” He said.

They both stopped walking when they turned right to another hallway and were out of Ms. Cortez’s sight.

“You were great.” Cas said and hugged Dean’s middle. “Thank you again for accepting this.”

Dean smiled and gave Cas a quick kiss, placing both arms around his neck. “The great one was you… _husband_.”

Castiel laughed again. “That was very easy to pretend.”

“Absurdly easy.” Dean agreed and caressed the back of Cas’ neck. “We still will talk about this, okay?” He said, now seriously. “Let’s just take one thing at a time. Jack now, and right after that we’ll talk about it and see what we can do.”

“That is a great plan.” Cas said.

“Okay.” Someone said and clapped twice, and when Dean and Cas looked to the side they saw Sam getting closer. “No making out on school premises.”

“Dude why are you so insistent with us making out?” Dean said in mock annoyance. “We’ll make you a video one of these days.”

“No, we won’t.” Cas said and frowned at Dean.

“Ew, Dean! I’m being a jerk and you know it. I don’t need to see any more of… _that_.” Sam said with a bitchface and then a grimace. “So?” He widened his eyes. “Everything worked out?” He asked, anxious.

Castiel nodded with a smile. “Yes!” He said, excitedly. “Jack will study here.”

“Yep!” Dean agreed with a smile as big as Cas’.

“I’m so happy for you guys!” Sam said and squeezed them both in a hug at the same time. “This is amazing.” He said, before they started walking to the door.

“We need to thank you, Sam, for helping us with this.” Cas said, looking fondly at Sam. “Don’t hesitate to come to us whenever you need.”

“That’s okay, guys.” Sam shook his head, looking down to hide the flush in his cheeks. “It’s what Jody said… we all want you to be happy.”

“But we thank you a lot despite that, Sammy.” Dean insisted.

“Well, you’re welcome.” Sam finally gave in as he opened the front door. “It’s really no trouble. Jack is family. I want him around… I can even keep an eye on him here as well.”

“We appreciate it.” Cas said, nodding.

“Let’s talk later to mark a celebratory lunch, okay?” Dean said and patted his brother’s back on his way out.

“That’d be great.” Sam said.

“See you soon, Sam.” Cas said and waved. “Bye!”

“Bye guys!” Sam yelled and soon closed the door.

“Should we video call Jack to tell him the news?” Cas asked as they both got in the car.

“Sure! I bet he’ll be super excited.” Dean said, starting the engine. “Let’s sign the contract tonight and we can call him.”

As soon as they got home, they took turns on the shower and then started filling the contract. The documents they would need were placed on the table so that they could complete everything while cooking dinner.

Cas was almost done with the soup when Dean brought the laptop to the table and skyped Jack.

“Dean!” Jack’s smiley face appeared on screen almost immediately. “Hey!”

“Hey kid.” Dean answered. “Cas and I have some news for you.” He said and looked to the side to see Cas walking closer.

“Hello, Jack.” Cas leaned his head closer to Dean’s so that both their faces were on screen.

“Hi, Cas!” Jack answered and raised his hand, still smiling big.

“So… we went to Sam’s school today.” Dean started and looked at Cas.

“And we just signed the papers that will get you matriculated!” Cas continued excitedly.

“No way!” Jack said with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Yes.” Cas answered, his hand on Dean’s shoulder, holding tight. “As soon as your documents are ready you can come over.”

“Awesome!” Jack nodded and suddenly got up and disappeared from the screen. “Jody!” He yelled and both Dean and Cas laughed. “Jody! Cas and Dean got me matriculated! They just told me!”

“Oh really?!” Jody’s voice came in an answer and then they heard footsteps getting closer. “They’re at the computer?”

“Yes.” Jack answered. Seconds later his face and Jody’s appeared on the screen.

“Hey guys!” Jody greeted them with a smile. She dried her hands on the cloth she was holding and then pulled a stool to sit by Jack’s side. “School’s set then?”

“Hey Jodes.” Dean said and Cas waved at her. “Yeah we just organized everything.”

“Great!” She said and looked at Jack. He was still smiling big, paying close attention to everything. “The documents will be ready tomorrow. I managed to speed everything up.”

Dean and Cas nodded eagerly.

“I have some overtime to compensate from work, so I was thinking about driving over with Jack and his belongings.” Jody announced.

“Oh we wouldn’t want to trouble you with that, Jody.” Cas said, slightly shaking his head.

“Not trouble.” Jody shook her head. “I have a truck and days off, so I can totally do this. My pleasure, really.”

“Well then, we appreciate it very much.” Cas smiled.

“When are you coming over?” Dean asked.

“A lot of my things are packed already.” Jack said, pointing to the wall behind him. “I think I can finish by tomorrow.”

“We can leave tomorrow night and drive through the night, be there by Thursday morning.” Jody decided.

“Sounds like a plan.” Dean nodded. “We’ll see if we can take a day off or change shifts to be here when you arrive, alright?”

“Done.” Jody smiled. “Everything is set. Now let’s go downstairs for dinner, young man… let’s go enjoy our last hours together.”

Cas smiled fondly at the sight of Jody hugging Jack’s shoulder and kissing the top of his head.

“Thanks Jody. Call us if you need, okay?” Dean said. “Bye guys.”

“Goodbye Jody.” Cas said. “Jack.”

“Bye!” Jody said.

“Bye Cas. Bye Dean.” Jack said and smiled before the call was turned off.

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek before going back to the stove to check on the pan.

“I can change shifts with Patrick.” Cas said as Dean closed the laptop and gathered all the papers from the table into a pile. “Then I’ll work on Friday instead of Thursday.”

“You think he’ll agree to that?” Dean asked, getting up.

“I think he’d love to be free on Friday.” Cas huffed a laugh.

“Okay then.” Dean said and walked closer to Cas, hugging him from behind and placing a kiss on the nape of his neck. “I can talk to Brad if it ends up not working.”

Cas nodded, causing Dean to notice the red lines on his neck. They seemed to be fading.

“What time do you come home from work tomorrow?” Dean asked, caressing Cas’ chest with both hands.

“I don’t know…” Cas answered with a sigh. “I have to go to the bank before coming back home, so probably only after 7.”

“That sucks.” Dean hugged him tighter. “But I’ll cook us something nice, okay? Then you’ll come home and relax.”

Cas’ lips pursed in a smile. “Okay.” He said and turned off the stove, then turned around in Dean’s arms. “Thank you.”

“No need to thanks.” Dean said and pressed their lips together quickly. “C’mon now, let’s eat.”

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I advise listening to the EP "I." from the band Cigarettes After Sex when things start to heat up in this chapter
> 
> you know
> 
> for effect 
> 
> *wink*

 

Dean woke up determined to make Cas something special. Not only because it was their last night alone in the house, but also because he simply felt like it. Since he wanted to be more open about his feelings, he decided to act. And not even the cold weather made him change his mind.

He was not able to drive Castiel to work that morning, because Cas would have to go to the bank after his shift was over, so he would drive himself. With that arrangement, Dean left the house minutes after Cas and drove straight to work, parking on his usual spot.

Brad was already there with a couple of early customers. Dean waved and wished them a good day, heading to the break room to get a cup of warm coffee before starting work. He chatted briefly with Norman and Lea, talking about some news and events that happened on the town. They had been working together since Dean was hired, and he was finally feeling like he could consider them good friends.

“Alright so we’re ahead of schedule despite not working on thanksgiving, so we only have a couple of cars that need to be ready for today.” Bradley said as he entered the break room with Carlos, another mechanic. “We can easily take emergencies if people come over.”

Everyone nodded and started to take turns going to the lockers for their supplies.

“Maybe we can get started on the other cars we have around, so I’ll be assigning them to you guys.” Brad continued, placing their clipboards with orders and contracts on the coffee table. “No rush. Let’s all do a good job instead of a fast job.” He clapped his hands together and left the room.

Dean waited until everyone took their gear from the lockers to walk to his own locker and open it. He took off his heavy coat, grabbed his tool belt and placed it around his hip, then reached for two of the clean cloths he’d brought on Monday to place them on his free pockets.

He then took his phone from his jeans and decided to text Cas.

**Dean [08:23 am]**  
**Hey babe**  
**Have a nice day**  
**Love u**

With a smile, he locked the screen and placed the phone inside his locker.

 

***

 

To his surprise, the day passed fast.

Every now and then, Dean caught himself thinking about Castiel and smiling like an idiot, but that was common during his days. He also kept thinking about what he would do for Cas later that night, and about how their lives would change on the following day.

He worked on the two cars that needed to be ready until the end of the day, skipped lunch and started the extra vehicles assigned by Brad. A little after 4 pm, Dean had finished two other cars that hat bad engine problems.

His shift only ended at 5 pm but he wanted to be home earlier to surprise Cas, so he went to Brad’s office, hoping his boss was in a good mood.

“Excuse me, Brad.” Dean said as he knocked.

“Yeah.” Brad answered and Dean opened the door.

“Listen, uhm, I’m finished with what you assigned me for the day.” Dean started, still cleaning some grease from his fingers on the cloth. “I was wondering if it would be okay if I left early.”

Brad looked away from the computer and lifted his eyebrows in concern.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, leaning on his desk and giving Dean his full attention.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Dean shook his head and smiled. “It’s just that Cas is gonna be stuck at work and I’m in charge of dinner, so I need to buy some groceries.”

Nodding, Brad smiled. “It’s fine by me.” He said. “We’ve been having a great amount of compliments from the customers whose cars you worked on… so I think it’s okay to let my best employee leave a little early to have more time with his husband.”

“Thanks Brad.” Dean said gratefully, not even noticing how he had agreed to the husband nomination. “I’ll make sure to cover shifts if anyone needs it.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Brad said. “Have a good night, Dean.”

“You too.” Dean smiled and waved at him before leaving the room. “Bye.”

Dean quickly walked to the bathroom, sighing in relief, and then washed his hands and face to get rid of the dark stains of grease and oil.  At the break room, he took his phone and wallet from the locker, put on his jacket and said fast goodbyes to everyone before walking outside towards his car.

He started the engine to let it heat a little and took the moment to check his phone.

**Cas [08:54 am]**  
**Thank you, Dean.**  
**I wish you the same.**  
**I love you a lot <3**

Dean smiled big and left the phone between his legs as he reversed and started the drive to the grocery store.

He bought everything he would need for his special burgers, as well as beer. On his way back home, he saw that the little flower shop was still open. Dean parked and practically ran to the other side of the street. The cold wind almost cutting his skin.

The little bell rang on the door as he entered and the same girl, –Aubrey- from the other two times he had been there, greeted him with a smile.

“Hey!” She said excitedly. “Let me guess… another important date?”

Dean huffed a laugh and smiled. “Yeah… same person, different reason.”

“Hm… tell me more about the story and I can make a special arrangement.” Aubrey prompted and walked around the counter.

“Well, we uh… we’ve been together for almost two months now but we met around ten years ago. I guess we’ve been kind of “in love” without knowing for a while.” Dean said and the girl nodded, clearly enjoying everything. “We’re about to head on a different path of our relationship and recently decided to let go of all the shit that always tried to break us apart.”

“It looks like you have a case of strong, undying love, huh?” Aubrey asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “May I suggest a simple, small bouquet of forget-me-nots?”

“Sure.” Dean shrugged. “How are they?”

Aubrey walked to a shelf and took a single branch that had a couple of small, blue flowers on its end.

“Yeah… they’re pretty.” Dean smiled and nodded. “Also do you have candles? I wanted to put it on the table with the flowers.” He said with his voice a little lower.

“Right there on that shelf.” Aubrey pointed to the side and Dean walked towards it. “You know… the forget-me-nots mean not just true and undying love, but also a real lasting connection and loyalty despite all the challenges and separation.”

“Huh.” Dean chuckled while looking back, and Aubrey smiled proudly. “That’s our story.”

“So. What is your lover’s name?” The girl asked as she reached for the flowers and the lace to bind them together.

“Cas… Castiel.” Dean answered, checking the variety of colors and scents available.

“Wait… Castiel?” Aubrey’s eyes widened. “Dark haired, blue eyed Castiel?”

Dean squinted at her and nodded slightly, holding the candles he chose. He walked to the counter and leaned against it.

“Well I figured he was too good and nice to be straight...” Mumbled Aubrey. “I love Cas!” She placed a hand on her heart. “He helped me _so_ much! I was having trouble with sales months ago, and when he found out about that he started buying a lot of flowers for his workplace, gave cards to everyone he could and even made calls to decoration firms so that they could have my place in mind if they needed.”

“Really?” Dean said with fondness. Damn that incredible angel and his endless solicitude. “I guess now you know why I’m stupidly in love.” He chuckled.

“Yeah… you’re very lucky.” Aubrey laughed, her hands still working skillfully on the flowers. “Well, don’t forget to invite me to your wedding.” She winked at Dean.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else taking care of the flowers.” Dean smiled and drummed his fingers on the top of the counter.

“Here it is.” She smiled and handed the bouquet to Dean, taking the candles from him to put them on a bag. “On the house because Cas is amazing… and so are you if you guys are together.”

“Oh, c’mon you have to let me pay.” Dean pleaded. “Please. I insist.”

“Fine.” Aubrey rolled her eyes as she walked around the counter. “But I’ll give you a discount.”

“Deal.” Dean paid what she proposed and walked back to the car.

As soon as he carefully placed the flowers and the bag on the seat by his side, his phone rang with Cas’ name on the screen.

“Hey babe.” Dean said after accepting the call.

“ _Dean._ ” Cas sighed his name, clearly tired.

“You okay?”

“ _Yes._ ” Cas said and sighed one more time. “ _This line is very long… it’s possible that I’ll be here for another hour or so._ ”

“Damn… is it _that_ important?” Dean asked, relieved on the inside because he was sure he had enough time to prepare everything.

“ _A little, yes. It’s my job so there’s no way out._ ” Cas said. “ _Are you home already?_ ”

“Yeah.” Dean lied for the sake of his surprise. “Why? You need something? A coat?”

“ _No, I’m just exhausted, hungry and I just… miss you._ ” Cas whispered, and it was obvious that he was smiling.

“I miss you too.” Dean answered, also with a smile. “But hey… you’ll be home before you know it.”

“ _Yes, you’re probably right._ ”

Dean wanted nothing else than to talk to Cas during his period in line, but if he didn’t head home fast, the food would never be ready in time.

“I gotta take a shower now, babe. The cars were terrible today… I’m disgusting.” Dean said, and that one was not a lie... “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“ _Of course._ ” Cas said. “ _See you in a bit._ ”

“Love you.” Dean said, feeling bad for having to hang up.

“ _I love you too._ ” Cas said and seconds later the call ended with a beep.

Dean smiled to himself and started the engine, rushing to drive back home. Cas would enjoy his surprise.

 

***

 

Dean showered quickly, but made sure to get rid of all the stains left on his skin. His clothes stayed over the laundry basket, so that he would not forget to leave them in the laundry room later. He dressed a soft pair of jeans and put on his favorite long sleeved shirt, because the house got extremely cold in windy days.

He left the dirty clothes on the laundry room inside a bucket with water and a cleaning product, and then stopped at the kitchen to start his process.

Dean put the flowers in a vase with water and then placed it on the center of the table. Then he arranged the candles by the sides of the vase. They were white and fragrance-free, and created a beautiful contrast with the blue flowers and the wooden table.

After that, Dean got to work. He cut and prepared the meat before placing it on a frying pan with olive oil and oregano from their garden. He then chopped tomatoes and lettuce, placing everything on the bread with a thin layer of cheese, mayo and a little mustard mixed with ketchup. Just the way Cas liked.

Dean placed the burgers in the oven to keep them warm, then washed the dishes. He got some wood from the laundry room and went back to the bedroom to work on the fireplace, which cost him many minutes until it was finally lit and not making much smoke. He did not want Cas to go in the bedroom and guess what he had in mind, so he took clean, comfortable clothes for Cas and left them in the bathroom.

Minutes later, he heard the unmistakable noise of Cas’ truck engine coming closer so he walked to the door to greet him. It was around 8 pm, just as he predicted.

“Dean.” Cas said in a sigh of relief as he opened the door and saw Dean leaning against the wall.

“Hey.” Dean walked closer and took Castiel’s bag to place it on the hanger. Then he got hold of the lapels of Cas’ trenchcoat and helped him slid it down his arms. The coat went to the hanger as well.

Castiel smiled fondly and stepped closer to Dean, placing both arms around his middle and pulling him closer in a hug. Dean winded his arms around Cas’ neck and held him close for a minute, then leaned back and, with both hands on Cas’ cheeks, kissed him.

Humming in appreciation, Cas accepted the kiss and leaned into it.

“I’m glad to finally be home.” Cas said, smiling against Dean’s lips and then pecking them a couple of times.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Dean answered in the same way. “I made you a surprise.” He nuzzled Cas’ cheek. “But I want you to be comfortable so that we can enjoy every little minute of our last night alone.” He said.

Cas leaned back to look at him. “Is that why the house smells amazing?” He asked.

Dean shrugged and looked to the side, pretending to be oblivious.

Castiel chuckled, caressing Dean’s back.

“Now I need you to go straight to the bathroom, okay?” Dean requested. “I left clothes for you there, and when you finish we can have a nice dinner.” He said and winked.

“Alright.” Castiel nodded and pecked Dean’s lips one more time. “I’ll be right back.”

Cas walked to the bathroom and as he undressed, he noticed that Dean had got him his favorite winter clothes: the shirt that had a dandelion printed right on the chest and his comfy dark green sweatpants. With a smile, he got inside the stall and turned the water on.

“Thank you for leaving me hot water.” Cas yelled.

“No problem, babe.” Dean answered with a chuckle.

Minutes later, while Cas was getting dressed, he felt heat coming from the wall. He placed his hand against it and realized Dean must have started the fireplace. With a smile, he left the bathroom and walked to the kitchen.

Just as he turned right, Cas saw the table prepared with lit candles and flowers.

“Dean.” He said softly and Dean turned around from where he was standing on the sink. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I wanted to.” Dean said, walking towards him and pulling him closer to the table by the hand.

“I appreciate it very much.” Cas said and caressed Dean’s hand. “What did you cook?”

“Guess by the smell?” Dean asked, walking to the oven and opening it.

Castiel hummed as he sat down, and then took a deep breath. “Burgers?”

“Bingo!” Dean said, taking their plates from the oven and placing them on the table, the beers already there.

Cas waited for him to sit and then looked Dean in the eye. “I loved the flowers.” He said. “And the burgers look delicious. Thank you.”

As an answer, Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas’ lips. “Tell me.” Said him as he sat back and grabbed his beer to take a sip. “How was work?”

“It was okay.” Cas shrugged. “Staying as the cashier is better than restocking, so I made Patrick work with that. Actually, he seems to be using less drugs during work now.”

“He’s that redhead dude that is always smoking outside, right?” Dean asked, remembering every time he drove Cas to work.

“Yes.” Cas sighed in annoyance and reached for his burger. “The clients dislike him because of the smell. Another plus side to leave him on restocking instead of the register.”

“He sounds like a pain in the ass.” Dean huffed before taking a long sip of beer. “And he never greets me when I go there to see you.”

“That’s another thing that bothers me.” Cas said with his mouth full and rolled his eyes, then swallowed before continuing. “We lose clients because of that lack of care.”

“Can’t you fire him or something?” Dean asked, finally getting hold of his burger.

“I can. But I don’t want to.” Cas said with a sad, guilty expression.

“Let me guess… you wanna help him?” Dean said and bit his food.

Cas only looked to the side and nodded slightly.

“He seems like a good man beyond that.” Cas tried to explain what he felt. “I don’t know why he acts like that or what made him think he needed to pursue a path that had drugs on it.”

“I get that, babe.” Dean said and looked fondly at Cas. “But you can’t just keep giving him all the chances and risk losing your job with that.”

Cas nodded. “You’re right… I’ll talk to Loraine and see what she has to say about Patrick.”

“That’s a good idea.” Dean agreed and smiled. “What about the bank? Everything alright?”

“Yes. The only trouble was the enormous line.” Cas answered and smiled fondly at Dean. “But it was worth the wait to come home and see you and what you prepared for us.”

Dean looked down at his burger, feeling hot inside, his heart quickening.

“What about your day?” Cas asked curiously.

“Nothing special.” Dean shrugged. “Worked the assigned cars, started on new ones, left early and went grocery shopping… oh and I talked to Aubrey about you.” He smirked.

“Aubrey?” Cas squinted at him. “Oh! Aubrey from the flower shop!”

“Yep.” Dean agreed. “Nice kid… helped me choose all the flowers I got you so far.”

“She’s very kind indeed.” Cas complimented.

“So are you…” Dean said with a clear tone of adoration.

Castiel only squinted at him.

“She told me about how you helped her.” Dean explained and then huffed an emotional laugh. “Damn Cas just when I thought I couldn’t admire you more than I do.”

“I did what anyone would have done, Dean. You know that.” Cas shook his head, avoiding Dean’s eyes.

“That’s exactly the thing, Cas.” Dean shook his head. “No one does that… not nowadays! And not unless they’ll get something in return.” He said and pursed his lips. “She seemed very grateful for you, that’s my point.”

Cas nodded with a fond smile. “Well, I care about her.” He shrugged.

Dean could see Cas was happy to have been able to help her. He reached forward and caressed Cas’ forearm.

“So… you’ll be here to welcome Jack and Jody tomorrow?” Dean changed the subject, knowing that if he pushed, Cas would get uncomfortable.

“Yes.” Cas nodded, taking the last bites of his burger. “I’ll work on Friday instead.”

“Alright.” Dean said. “I’ll try to leave early again.”

They decided on lunch details and soon were placing the plates on the sink.

Cas looked expectantly at Dean from where he leaned against the table.

“What else did you plan for us? Movie night?” He asked, excitedly.

Dean walked towards Castiel and took his hands.

“Actually, I was thinking we could do something else…” He said.

Castiel raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” He mumbled, staring into Dean’s eyes. “Like what?”

“Like something about the fact that I’m not holding back anymore… you know?” He asked suggestively, tilting his head. “Deal with how I finally gave up trying to control things all the time…” He added and moved forward until his body was glued to Cas’, lips and hips brushing together. “How I’m all yours.”

Leaning his head back, Cas searched Dean’s eyes again.

“Really? You’re ready?” He asked and smiled at Dean’s eager nod. “Okay.” He breathed out.

“But only if you’re okay with it right now…” Dean said in a warning tone. “You had a tough day and I want nothing else than make you relaxed.”

“I’m certain we’ll both relax.” Cas smirked and ran his hands up and down Dean’s arms.

Dean barely had time to smile and build thoughts about what they were about to do, because Cas was already taking him by the hand towards the bedroom.

“I double-checked the locks already, don’t worry.” Dean said when Cas glanced at the front door.

Cas nodded and continued to pull Dean with him. When they got to the bedroom, Castiel slowly turned around so that he could look at Dean intensely again, and just like that, time seemed to slow down.

Their bodies went to each other one more time, and their lips connected.

The kiss started slow, sensuous. The careful glide of lips indicating exactly how they wanted the night to be. Dean’s hands made their way to Cas’ neck gently, opening the space Cas needed to pull his shirt up and drop it on the floor by their side. Castiel ran both hands down the soft skin of Dean’s chest, aiming for the waistband of his jeans. When he reached it, his fingertips were already dancing towards the zipper, but Dean’s fingers joined his and caused him to look up.

“I don’t want you doing all the work.” Dean whispered and opened the zipper himself, pushing his pants down and then taking them out of his feet.

Cas smiled and gave Dean’s lips a long open mouthed kiss, filled with tongue and lust, before leading his lips to Dean’s jaw and kissing his skin until he reached his ear, leaving a bite on his earlobe then.

“You’re gonna lay down now.” Cas whispered against Dean’s ear while slowly pressing both hands on his naked lower back, giving him a multiple goosebumps at once.

Dean nodded as best as he could and walked past Cas towards the bed. Turning his head to the side, Castiel followed Dean with his eyes, noticing how tight the boxers he was wearing were against the curves of his ass. His eyes also caught the fireplace and, as he had noticed earlier, it was lit and shiny. He smiled at it for a second and then turned completely around to see Dean sitting on the bed, shifting until he was propped on his elbows, a nervous smile on his lips. Cas walked closer slowly, eyeing Dean’s whole body. The waves of need and lust were clearly felt cursing through their veins.

Castiel climbed on the bed and hovered above Dean, keeping eye contact until the need to put his lips on Dean’s became too much to hold back. He lowered his head and pressed one strong kiss against Dean’s lips, causing his hands to go straight to Cas’ back. The following kisses were slower and more gentle, giving space for Dean to tease Cas with his tongue while both his hands wandered to Cas’ ass and soon again to the curve of his back. Dean started to pull Cas’ shirt up, but Cas lifted himself and sat back while shaking his head slightly. Dean sighed a laugh and stared at him, caressing his thighs, thinking of how stubborn Cas could be. With a smirk, Cas took his own shirt off, lavishing on the aroused, needy looks Dean was freely giving him.

With quick movements, Castiel also took his sweatpants off and threw both garments on the floor by the bed. Immediately, he was back over Dean, one leg between Dean’s legs, eyes locked to the green ones.

Cas kissed him. Poured everything he could into the movements of his lips against the plump ones he loved so much. Judging by the way Dean touched him and answered to the stimulations, he obviously felt the same feelings, same energy, same love and bliss.

With both arms under Cas’, hands gently placed on his shoulder blades, Dean pulled Cas as close as he could without ruining the strength holding Cas from falling over him completely. The leg Castiel had in between Dean’s moved up a millimeter and caused Dean to break their kiss in a gasp over getting the first intentional touch on his already worked up cock. Castiel smiled to himself and went for Dean’s lips again with gentle, but needy quick kisses.

Dean was already breathing heavily, the anticipation almost overwhelming. He pecked Castiel’s lips one last time and moved his head to the side, giving Cas his throat to kiss.

“C’mon babe, get me ready.” Said Dean breathlessly, caressing Cas’ back meaningfully.

Castiel lifted himself and reached for the bedside table, getting the open lube bottle. He smiled at Dean, waiting for his confirmation, which came a second later with an even bigger smile. Cas then quickly took off both their underwear, dropping kisses and smooches to Dean’s stomach.

“Be as relaxed as you can be.” Cas said as he pushed Dean’s knees up towards his upper body. “I need you to feel good.” He added with a kiss to the side of Dean’s left calf.

“Yeah.” Dean breathed out. “Okay, babe.”

Castiel opened the bottle of lube and, as he slicked his fingers, he placed his lips on Dean’s inner thigh, knowing it was an extra sensitive spot of his body, knowing it would relax him and bring him slow, burning pleasure. When his fingers first touched Dean’s entrance, a gasp was released from his throat, so Cas continued to massage and caress him with tenderness until Dean’s chest rose less strongly.

Castiel gave the flesh of Dean’s thigh a gentle bite, followed by a kiss, as his finger breached the ring of muscle. Dean hummed lazily and arched his back up.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, fingers gripping the blanket with strength.

“Okay?” Cas asked, attentive.

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “Just strange… a good strange.” He sighed a laugh.

Taking care and time -and calming Dean’s insistent requests to go faster-, Castiel opened him up, caressing everywhere he could reach with his free hand and kissing every inch of skin under his lips. They were both absolutely hard and aching, every noise and expression of satisfaction giving each other the urge to move things along.

“Almost there, my love.” Castiel whispered against the soft skin of Dean’s hip as three of his fingers continued to stretch his inner muscles.

“Please… Cas, babe, please.” Dean whined with his eyes tightly closed, reaching blindly to touch Castiel, placing his hand on the curve of his neck.

Cas smiled and kissed the base of Dean’s cock before lifting himself up to reach for the lube again, this time to coat his own member. As his hand slicked the length, he gasped and then breathed in, causing Dean to open his eyes and almost squirm against the bed.

“Cas, c’mon, baby.” He whined again. “I want you here, _now_.”

“Okay.” Castiel breathed out and took his hand away from his cock, shivering at the motion. “Yes, of course.”

Dean took a deep breath and placed his feet against the bed, looking expectantly at Cas. In return, Cas watched Dean’s expression with adoration, not anywhere near believing that they were having yet another change to be so close to each other. He hovered over Dean’s body, getting closer and closer to be able to kiss him deeply. Dean’s hands went once again to Castiel’s shoulder blades and, as their lips touched, the rest of their bodies did the same, Cas’ erection sliding against Dean’s hole and causing a burst of pleasure to curse through them both.

The air was thick and filled with anticipation. The rise of their chests in harmony, the shivers connecting from end to end.

“I want you so much, Cas.” Dean whispered against Cas’ lips, pulling him even closer, needing to feel him completely.

“I want you too, Dean.” Cas said and pecked Dean’s lips once. “All the time.” He added and gave Dean a full, deep kiss.

Castiel reached down and lined himself up, slowly pushing in as they kissed, trying not to burst the rhythm around them. Dean gasped, pressing his right fingers even harder to Cas’ back while his left hand slid up to the back of Cas’ head, fingers threading through the dark, soft hair.

“Okay?” Cas mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

“Yeah.” Dean said, nodding against him. “Keep going.”

Castiel pushed his hips forward until he felt them touching the skin of Dean’s ass. Dean sighed and squeezed Cas even tighter in his arms.

“This feels so good.” Dean whispered against Cas’ cheek, and he felt a smile spread in Cas’ face.

Setting Dean’s nerves on fire, Castiel drew back his pelvis and thrusted back in languidly a couple of times. Dean kept Cas close to his chest, and they both could feel each other’s quickening breaths reverberating in between. Gently, Dean lifted on leg and placed it over Cas’ hip, pulling him even deeper.

Cas leaned his head back and watched Dean’s slightly parted lips and his closed eyelids.

“You look so gorgeous to me, my love.” Cas said and leaned in to give Dean a new kiss, which was returned eagerly.

“I’m yours, Cas.” Dean answered, breaking the kiss, breathing heavily. “All yours… forever.”

Castiel felt a new wave of heat running through him at Dean’s words. He nuzzled Dean’s cheek.

“Forever.” He repeated in a whisper.

Cas continued to move his hips, Dean’s leg encouraging him unconsciously. Their skin met with a sheen layer of sweat. The fire crackled by their side. The shadows danced all over the room.

Leaning back, Castiel lifted a hand and ran the very tips of his fingers from Dean’s chin to his sternum, leaning down to kiss the path of goosebumps while Dean moaned and squeezed Cas’ hair between his fingers.

“Cas.” Dean whispered, dragging the word.

“Yes?” Cas asked, lifting his head.

“Kiss me.” Answered Dean. “I’m so close… kiss me.”

Castiel shifted his legs, pushing himself up and even closer to Dean. Kissing him, Cas continued to thrust, bringing both of them closer and closer to ultimate pleasure. He reached between them, stroking Dean’s erection while hitting his prostate occasionally.

Less than two minutes later Dean was gasping, feeling his body give a final contraction before releasing a burst of pleasure. With shallow, quick breaths, he caressed Castiel’s back, kissing his neck while Cas gave a couple of final thrusts and released inside him.

Still breathing fast, Cas placed his forehead against Dean’s. They kept on silent for minutes, feeling each other’s breaths and low noises of contentment.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this before.” Dean mumbled, his eyes still closed. “You always make everything perfect, Cas… I love you so much.”

“I love you, Dean.” Castiel whispered in return, leaning his head back slowly. “I love you… I love you.” He mumbled multiple times, pecking Dean’s chin and neck repeatedly, feeling his smile spreading and his hums of content.

“Thank you for everything, babe.” Dean said, placing both hands on Cas’ cheeks and pulling him for a kiss.

“I’m so happy we have each other.” Cas said back, against Dean’s lips.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you listened to my advice cause it really does makes things better :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy some dad dean and papa cas

 

When the alarm beeped and Dean opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was dark, soft hair brushing the side of his face.

He sighed while turning the noise off and then went back to the same position for just a few more seconds. He took in the lavender and honey smell coming from the locks of hair, humming happily against them. Dean tried to move his pelvis and legs, but Cas was completely draped over him.

Carefully, Dean shifted until he was not under Cas’ body. He arranged his own pillow on the place he was laying, and saw Castiel immediately turn to hug it. After successfully getting up without waking him, Dean covered Cas’ naked back and went straight to the bathroom for a shower, coming out of the steaming room minutes later. He put on his uniform and left the room to prepare coffee.

The house was completely quiet and had yet to receive its first rays of sunshine. Dean turned on the kitchen lights and started the electric coffee maker, pouring enough water so that Cas could drink when he woke up. While the smell filled the kitchen, Dean’s mind went back to the night before and a soft smile spread itself on his lips. All the touches, kisses and movements had been incredible, caring and gentle. Once again he felt loved… _wanted_ , in the rawest sense of the word.

He saw the flowers on the table and took a deep breath. He and Cas were finally on tune, finally aiming for the same goal, he couldn’t be more proud of their relationship.

When the machine beeped, Dean drank a small cup of coffee and filled his thermos bottle, leaving it on the table with his phone and wallet. Then, he walked back to the bedroom and saw Castiel laid on his stomach, face buried on Dean’s pillow. He sighed a laugh and walked closer to the bed, placing one knee on the mattress and lowering his body over Cas’.

“Bye, babe.” Dean whispered close to Castiel’s ear and gave the side of his face a kiss. “Love you.”

Castiel sighed deeply as Dean got up, and hummed when Dean adjusted the blanket over his body, trying to prevent Cas from catching the breeze on the air. Dean then walked back to the kitchen, grabbed his thermos and accessories and left the house, upset for leaving Cas on what had everything to be a good lazy day in bed.

 

***

 

Castiel opened his eyes to the sunlight and immediately squinted with a groan. The closed bedroom door gave him the hint that Dean was already working. There was a smell of coffee in the air and Cas sighed to it, feeling blissful but still a little bitter for not having Dean by his side. He hugged Dean’s pillow again and breathed in his scent for a couple of seconds before getting up and going to the bathroom.

He got in the shower and took his time, enjoying the feeling of warm water against his skin, knowing it was cold outside and his day was going to be full. Long minutes later, Cas turned the shower off, dried himself and got dressed in his most comfortable sweatpants and t-shirt. He opened the window and the door so that the steam could leave the bathroom and everything would be dry and fresh when Jody and Jack arrived.

A smile found place on his face when he remembered that the boy was arriving at any minute. Never could he have foreseen that. A wonderful child that happened to have Lucifer’s DNA chose him, a fallen angel, to be his father. Now he had two children and a lover, and once he had nothing.

Cas got even more content when he saw the filled coffee pot as soon as he walked in the kitchen, thinking of how he loved Dean and his small gestures.

After taking two large cups of coffee, Cas took meat from the freezer and placed it on the sink so that it started to defrost. He went to the guest bedroom to check if anything was out of order and then stopped by every other room in the house to do the same.

He was in the process of making an omelet when he heard honking noises from the street. He turned off the stove and walked to the door, opened it and waved -since he noticed it was Jody-, signaling that she should drive her truck closer to the house.

The car had not even stopped when Jack opened the door and jumped out of it. He stumbled for a second before regaining his balance and running towards the entrance.

“Castiel!” He screamed as he launched himself over Cas for a bone crushing hug.

Castiel stumbled back, chuckling, and hugged him back. “Hey, Jack.” He said fondly, already feeling his emotions getting the best of him.

“I missed you so much!” Jack said before stepping back.

“Me too.” Cas said with a nod as he squeezed Jack’s shoulder. “A lot.”

“Well seems like he won’t be missing me!” Jody said with a sigh, getting their attention and making both of them look towards her.

“Of course I will.” Jack said seriously with a frown. “I’m going to miss you every day, Jody.”

Jody smiled fondly at him. “I was just kidding, honey.” She said as she got closer to Jack and Cas. “I know you will. And I will too.”

Jack nodded and smiled at her.

“Hi, Jody.” Cas said and opened his arms to hug her. “Thank you again for bringing him.”

“My pleasure, you guys.” Jody answered when they broke the hug.

“Let’s come inside and have breakfast and later we can worry about the luggage.” Castiel suggested as he stepped to the side and indicated them the open door.

Over breakfast, they talked easily and shared stories. Jack told them many anecdotes from his previous school and mentioned how excited he was to be able to meet new people at his new one.

Around 11am, they started retrieving Jack’s belongings from the truck and taking them to his new bedroom. It was quick since they were in three people, and soon Jack was unpacking his clothes as Castiel and Jody started preparing lunch.

“You know…” Jody said, looking behind her to make sure Jack was not around. “He came to me the other day with doubts about many things involving his relationship with you and Dean.”

Castiel looked up from the pan on the stove, stopping the stirring movements he was doing.

“Really?” He asked, with a little more worry than he intended.

“Yeah! He asked me if you guys would hug him and be gentle to him like parents are to kids on TV, and he asked if he can call you his father… and how he should call Dean.” She said with a low tone of voice.

“And what did you say?” Castiel answered with wide eyes and licked his lips in anxiety.

Jody smiled. “I told him that you and Dean want to be his parents so he can call you that way if he wishes to. And that you will hug him if that is something you guys are used to doing. Hope it wasn’t to forward or intruding of me…”

“No! No, Jody. It was fine!” Cas said quickly. “I mean… I want him to call me that. Dean never mentioned anything but since he agreed to raise Jack with me I assume he wouldn’t mind either.” He shrugged, going back to stirring.

“I’m sure he won’t mind.” Jody said with certainty. “I wanted to tell you in case he ends up blurting it out sometime and maybe understanding your surprise as something negative, you know?”

“Yes! I appreciate you telling me.” Cas nodded sincerely. “I read a lot about parenting and I know that giving him positive expressions and reinforcements is very important to establish a good relationship, especially on the beginning.”

Jody nodded. “Yeah, I remember when Alex and Claire first got to me… it was tough, I have to say.” She huffed a laugh. “Teenagers can be real dicks and make you wanna quit.”

Castiel chuckled. “You’re extremely strong, you know?” He said with a smile towards her. “Not only you took in Alex and Claire but now you’re helping all those other girls just because you felt like it… and they need you so much, it’s so evident how much they love you.”

“Oh thank you so much, Castiel.” Jody said with a slightly weak voice. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my amazing family… all of you keep me going.”

“Is Dean coming for lunch?” Jack said from the entrance, just as Cas was about to agree with Jody.

Castiel turned towards him. “Oh, I, uh… I’m not sure. He only said he would try to leave early.” He said apologetically.

“Okay.” Jack nodded and looked around. “I finished unpacking my clothes like you asked me to.”

“That’s great, Jack.” Cas said with a smile and walked closer to Jack, squeezing his shoulder and leaning closer to give him a kiss on the top of the head.

Jack widened his eyes in surprise and his expression faded into a big smile in seconds.

“Would you like to watch some TV while we finish up lunch?” Cas offered, feeling like his heart was about to jump out of his chest in pure affection for his _son_.

After nodding excitedly, Jack walked to the living room.

Jody was smiling fondly at him when Cas turned around and walked towards the sink.

“What?” Cas asked with a huffed laugh.

“I told you!” Jody said and bumped her hip against Cas’. “He’s just like many other kids, he wants hugs and caresses and everything else… you and Dean are going to love being his dads.”

“I’m certain we will…” Castiel said and sighed happily.

 

***

 

Jody left around 4pm and right after that, Jack and Castiel went to Jack’s bedroom to start organizing his belongings.

Jack turned on his laptop and opened his music app before they started, surprising Castiel once again, this time with how much he knew about bands and genres of music. They talked easily as they set up Jack’s books and his action figures on the shelf. They hanged the planets mobile by one of the windows, and the target for the darts on the back of the door.

Jack’s plants were set on the table until Cas could find a better place for them, and his colored pillows went to the bed.

It was close to six when they were both sitting on the floor on the process of finishing putting together the loose pieces of Jack’s Lego toys. Dean had just arrived and was with his hand on the door handle, ready to push it open, but stopped himself when he listened to Jack’s voice.

“How did you and Dean meet?” Jack asked. “I asked Jody but she didn’t know.”

Castiel hummed in response. Dean stepped to the side and leaned against the wall instead of going into the room.

“Well.” Cas started. “A long time ago, Dean made a considerably bad deal to save his brother and ended up dead, going to hell.” He took a deep breath. “I was still in heaven duty back then, and had been down on earth only a couple of times. I was a war leader, you know… but I always disliked conflicts, so it wasn’t pleasant to motivate angels to battle when I didn’t believe we should be doing that.”

“That sounds bad.” Jack added. “I also dislike conflicts.”

“They’re necessary sometimes, but they’re not healthy most of the time… I assure you.” Castiel continued. “One day, the messengers and archangels reunited us to say they needed a team of angels to rescue an important soul from hell. They told us how things could happen, what hell was like, and told us the mission had 98% of chances to be completely suicidal.” He sighed. “Despite that, I knew I had to be there… actually, I _wanted_ to be there.” Castiel said, and his voice wavered. “Not just because I didn’t like my job as an angel, but there was something else on the situation that pulled me into it, a voice that called me…” He paused. “Well, I thank heavens for that now.” He chuckled.

“So you really went to hell with a team of other angels?” Jack asked in disbelief. “Knowing you could die?”

“I did… and I asked to be the leader of the mission.” Agreed Cas. “I had nothing to lose.”

Dean’s breath caught.

“We had a date set to the mission.” Castiel continued. “September 18, it was. So, I said goodbye to my garrison and left with my new team, knowing I could not return at all.”

“That was very brave of you.” Jack commented.

“It was suicidal, not brave.” Cas’ voice was smiley. “I was depressed and unmotivated. I know better now… there are other ways.” He cleared his throat. “I won’t go into the gruesome details, but half of the soldiers were dead before we were halfway inside hell. We changed plans and strategies, the angels started to clear the path and have my back so I could go forward. That way, we finally managed to arrive where we were supposed to.”

“And then what?” Asked Jack, completely enveloped by the story. “Did you find Dean?”

“I did, yes.” The smile returned to Castiel’s voice. “I saw light for the first time after spending so much time in the darkness of hell. There were multiple souls there, begging to be saved, crying for help, but none of them were anywhere near as shiny and evident as Dean’s soul. I knew immediately… that bright soul was the one I needed to rescue.” Cas took a deep breath. “You see, I was a complete angel at the time, so I didn’t see human’s physical bodies first, but their souls.”

Dean, on the outside, closed his eyes, leaning even harder against the wall.

“That must have been very annoying sometimes.” Jack wondered.

“Well, not really…” Cas answered. “I could control it and see what I wanted, but I confess I spent many, many years seeing Dean’s soul more than his physical form.” He disclosed. “I have never seen a soul so good, so perfect.”

“That’s because you love him, isn’t it?” Asked Jack, as a smile spread on Dean’s face on the outside of the room.

“Maybe… but his soul really is brighter than souls usually are.”

“And what about the rest of the story?” Jack inquired. “What happened then?”

Castiel chuckled. “I got closer and freed him carefully. He was very wounded and weak.” He continued. “Then, I held him close and flew us away from hell as fast as my wings could, and took us into the Void, so that I could rebuild his physical body piece by piece… and so I did.”

“Then he finally woke up?” Jack said in an anxious voice.

“Yes.” Castiel agreed. “He woke up in September 18. And a day later, he summoned me, wanting to know who had saved him from hell… that curious human.” He smiled. “He doesn’t have it anymore, but I left a scar on his shoulder. My handprint almost carved into his skin from when we were leaving hell. I had to grip him tight. Demons and all sorts of evil creatures approached us from the sides… and I knew I couldn’t lose him.”

“That’s a superhero story.” Said Jack.

Castiel laughed, and Dean, on the outside of the room, breathed in deep to will the emotions away. He waited a few minutes, until Jack and Cas went back to talking about the Legos, to open the door.

“Hey you guys.” Dean said softly from the entrance.

At the same time, Jack looked up and Cas turned back, catching Dean’s smile and interested eyes.

“Dean!” Jack said excitedly and got up to go hug him.

Cas watched them hug and walk into the bedroom. Dean leaned down and pecked Cas’ lips.

“Hey, babe.” He said quietly, smiling against him.

“Hi.” Cas said with an even bigger smile.

Dean sat on the end of the bed with his hand caressing the back of Cas’ neck. “What have you been up to?” He asked, looking around.

“Well, Castiel helped me put everything on the right places, and now we’re fixing what came loose on my Legos during the trip.” Jack explained, looking intently at the pieces.

“Sounds like you’ve been busy…” Dean said and Cas looked up at him before placing his hand on Dean’s knee and squeezing.

“Oh, yes.” Jack said meaningfully. “We did a lot of tiring stuff today.”

“So I guess you’re too tired for pizza, huh… too bad.” Dean teased.

“No!” Jack looked up with wide eyes. “No, I’m really not, I promise. I’m not too tired to have pizza.”

Dean and Cas chuckled. “Tell you what… let’s all take showers, get warm and then we can order your favorites, okay?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows in excitement.

Jack lit up. “Yeah!” He said excitedly and lifted his hand wanting to get a high five from Dean.

Dean slapped his palm to Jack’s and then got up to leave the room.

“Can you finish this by yourself, Jack?” Cas asked as he also got up.

“Sure.” Jack said with a smile.

Castiel followed Dean out of Jack’s bedroom and closed the door. They walked quickly to their room and as soon as the door was closed, Cas was already wrapping himself in Dean for a hug.

“I missed you today.” He said.

“I missed you too.” Dean answered, burying his face on the curve of Cas’ neck. “You’re all comfy on sweaters and it sounds like you had such a great day.” He mumbled.

“We did… but it would’ve been even better if you were here.” Cas said, running his hands up Dean’s back until it reached his hair.

Dean leaned his head back to look into Cas’ eyes for a brief second before pressing their lips together. It took them half a second to open up and deepen the kiss, making sure to taste each other’s tongues and lips with need.

When they pulled apart, Cas left some pecks on Dean’s lips before untangling his arms from his body and sitting on the bed.

“You wanna order the pizza while I’m in the shower?” Dean asked as he walked to the closet and took clean clothes and underwear.

“I’ll wait for you to finish, then Jack can take a shower and later we can all order together.” Cas said.

“Alright.” Dean answered as he entered the bathroom, keeping the door to their bedroom open but locking the door that gave access to Jack’s bedroom. “You guys had fun with Jody?”

“We did.” Cas walked into the bathroom and started checking the hamper while Dean undressed. “She told me some things about Jack… one of them was that he wants to call us something other than our names.” He said as he sat on the closed toilet.

“Really?” Dean said as he started the shower and stepped in. “Like what? _Dad_?” He said with strangeness.

“Probably.” Cas shrugged. “How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know… I guess I could get used to it, you know?” Dean said. “It could be nice.”

“Yes.” Cas said with a smile. “Jody just said we should be aware because he might call us differently sometime and we shouldn’t react poorly.”

Dean hummed. “Well you’re right.” He said. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

They kept on silent for a couple of minutes while Dean finished showering and Cas checked on the dirty clothes, already gathering Dean’s uniform.

“Should I go check on him?” Cas said suddenly as he got up.

“Babe I’m sure he’s fine.” Dean said with a chuckle, opening the curtain and stepping out of the stall with the towel around his waist. “He might be a baby but he isn’t _really_ a baby…”

“Yes. Yes, you’re right.” Cas sighed and ran his hand over his face and hair. “The books say I can’t suffocate my child with worries and constant interactions.”

Dean nodded seriously and opened his arms to hug Cas tight. He smiled at how adorable and caring it was that Cas read all those books about parenting.

“I’m afraid of not being good enough.” Cas said quietly against Dean’s shoulder. “Letting him down.”

“You won’t.” Dean reassured him seriously. “We’re gonna do this together and it’s gonna be just fine, okay?” He asked, leaning back and holding Cas’ shoulders with certainty. “Huh?”

Castiel nodded and smiled a little before giving Dean a kiss.

Soon they left the bedroom and, while Cas took the clothes to the laundry and started the machine, Dean walked to Jack’s bedroom to tell him he could take a shower so that they could order dinner. Cas was next in line while the pizza didn’t arrive.

A while later, they were settling at the living room with the pizza on the coffee table, the cans of soda resting on Cas’ colorful cup holders and netflix playing some old fashioned cowboy movie Dean insisted Jack _had_ to watch.

Halfway into the movie Castiel slowly propped both legs over the arm of the couch and rested his head on Dean’s lap, getting all comfortable and cozy. Not ten minutes later, he was asleep. Dean was gently running his hand through Cas’ hair when he noticed Jack was smiling fondly at them.

“He always sleeps during the movies.” Dean said quietly with a smile. “We both do.”

“Why?” Jack frowned.

Dean chuckled. “Well… we’re old.” He said and looked down at Cas’ serene state. “That’s what old people do. They sleep watching TV.”

“You’re not old.” Jack stated with certainty. “You don’t even have white hair.”

“Yeah…” Dean laughed again, delighted to know Jack couldn’t see their hidden white strands yet. “You’re probably right.”

They focused back on the movie for another couple of minutes until Dean noticed Jack was staring at him again.

“What’s up?” Dean asked, holding back a smile over how similar Jack and Cas were.

“Thank you for agreeing to be my father.” Jack said slowly, as if he was still a little timorous of the words.

Dean smiled emotionally and nodded. “My pleasure, kid.” He said and ruffled Jack’s hair, getting a laugh from him that startled Cas into waking.

“What?” Cas said, still half asleep and disoriented as he sat up.

Dean huffed a laugh and placed his arm around Cas’ neck to hold him close. “I think we should go to bed, huh? We all had a tiring day.”

Castiel nodded slowly, still blinking multiple times. “We have to lock up the house.” He said as he looked around in confusion.

“Why don’t you go get ready for bed and we’ll be in your room in a minute, Jack?” Dean suggested, smiling.

Jack nodded and quickly walked to his new bedroom.

“Looks like your nap was killing, huh babe?” Dean said with a chuckle as Cas ran both hands over his face.

Castiel groaned and buried his face on Dean’s chest. “Why did you let me sleep?” His voice came muffled. “I was supposed to spend time with Jack.”

“C’mon, Cas it was all okay.” Dean said as he caressed Cas’ back. “He had a great time, don’t worry about it.”

Dean lifted both hands to hold Cas’ face and gently lean him back. His eyelids were slightly swollen and heavy, and his lips were plumper than usual. He gave them a peck and smiled against them.

“You look very cuddly.” Dean mumbled before pulling Cas up by the hand. “C’mon.”

They took the pizza box and the cans to the kitchen and then checked all doors and windows twice, as usual. When all of the lights were off except for the hallway ones, they headed to Jack’s bedroom. Dean knocked twice and opened the door only when he got an answer.

Jack was sitting on the bed under the covers. The lamp was on and he was holding a book, which he closed as soon as they both entered the room.

“Hey, buddy, we just wanna say goodnight.” Dean said while Castiel placed an arm around his back.

“I don’t sleep much, but thank you.” Jack said with a smile.

“You know… if you wish to sleep and have other human needs, I can teach you how to moderate your grace.” Castiel offered.

“Really?” Jack asked in interest.

“Of course.” Castiel nodded. “I used to do that sometimes when I had my grace, just to feel some things more intensely, try to understand certain needs and name them properly.”

“I would like that very much.” Jack said.

“We can work on it then.” Cas promised and winked at him.

“Well, we have to work tomorrow, so we better go to bed.” Dean said after a few seconds.

“Yes, right.” Cas straightened his back and left Dean’s side to walk to Jack’s bed and give him a kiss on the top of the head. “Goodnight, Jack.”

“Goodnight, Castiel.” Jack answered as Cas leaned back and walked to the door.

Dean had a hopeful gleam on his eyes, so Cas placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it an encouraging squeeze accompanied by a nod. Dean nodded back and walked closer to Jack to do the same thing.

“Night, kid.” He said before kissing Jack’s head and ruffling his hair again, taking another chuckle from him.

“Goodnight Dean.” Jack said with a happy voice.

Cas smiled at them and stepped back to leave the room.

“You can call us if you need anything, alright?” Cas said from the door, and got a nod from Jack.

Dean and Cas left with happy smiles painting their faces, and neither faded until they fell asleep on each other’s arms.

 

***

 

Castiel took Jack to work with him on that Friday since he and Dean agreed that Jack should not be left alone all day just yet. They all had lunch together and then Jack stayed with Dean since he didn’t have to work that afternoon. They went shopping for Jack’s school supplies and uniforms, stopped by the school to deliver some documents and arrived home just before Cas arrived from work.

The following weekend went by fast. They went to Sam and Eileen’s house for dinner on Saturday, and on Sunday morning, they visited the Farmer’s Market before having a picnic on the park.

On Monday morning, both Dean and Cas arrived a few minutes late to work. They took Jack to school and it ended up being a huge, dramatic thing that neither of them was expecting. It was all exactly like what other parents go through when they drop their child on school for the first time.

Castiel told Jack to call them if he needed. He said Jack should look for Sam if anything happened, and that under no circumstances should he use his powers. Dean told him to punch any idiot that messed with him, and Castiel said that first, he should look for help from a teacher, and if that didn’t work then he could punch them. They gave him money for lunch and told him that he should eat at least a little bit, so people would not find it weird.

Jack nodded and absorbed everything with a slightly worried expression.

Dean and Cas gave Jack tight hugs and watched him walking through the doors and into the full lobby. With heavy sighs, they stood there watching the students arriving and meeting their friends, hoping internally that soon Jack could make friends of his own.

“You guys look like those hens that never leave the baby chickens alone.” Sam’s teasing voice came from their side and woke them from the sad trance.

“Shut up.” Dean mumbled and cleared his throat, his index finger quickly touching his own nose to hide emotions.

“Go to work, guys.” Sam said with a smile. “He will be fine.”

“Please, keep an eye on him today.” Castiel pleaded.

“Of course.” Sam nodded. “I’ll call if necessary. Now go! You’re embarrassing him.”

“ _You’re_ embarrassing him.” Dean mumbled and started pulling Cas by the hand towards the car.

“This feels weird.” Cas said as they got in the car.

“I know.” Dean agreed and started the engine. “I mean… we’re gonna see him later today but it’s just terrible to leave him alone in such a crowded place.”

“Exactly.” Cas sighed. “I just need to forget that he’s seven months old.”

“Oh God.” Dean whined, distressed. “I wasn’t even thinking about that.”

They stared at the school.

“He’ll be fine, right?” Cas said after a few minutes, just as Dean accelerated. “He went to school back at Sioux Falls.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, of course!” Dean nodded and turned on a corner. “He’s a smart kid… and Sammy is there too.”

Castiel sighed and nodded.

“We’ll be fine.” He opened a smile and looked at Dean, getting a genuine smile in return.

 


	28. Chapter 28

 

The following three weeks passed in almost a blur, going by so fast. Dean, Cas and Jack easily adapted into living together and being a family, and Dean and Cas even managed to stablish chores to give Jack a sense of domesticity.

They had dinner together almost every night, save the nights Cas had to work a little late, and there was always the hour to help Jack with homework. It was easy for Dean and Cas, not to mention rewarding to see someone looking up and admiring them both as parents and beings. They felt as if that was what had been missing in their lives.

Jack had been practicing his powers daily, as well as trying to tune them down whenever he wanted. Dean and Cas built him a sort of wrestling stage, a square, wooden platform low on the floor with sigils and protection spells so that it wouldn’t call anyone’s attention. Jack would go to the back of the house after school and would stay inside the protected area. Cas guided him through the process of working with his grace, and Dean helped him control it, both of them teaching Jack everything they could. With all the new knowledge over his powers, Jack had been sleeping almost all night for a week and feeling tired after school just as any other kid would.

On December 15, Dean and Jack arrived in the end of the day in the middle of what Cas considered a serious conversation. Dean seemed to be explaining to Jack the cultural concept of Christmas and how unreal it all was when compared to the truth.

Cas smiled down at the papers he was analyzing and got up, walking to the hallway to greet them as he usually did.

“Hey there.” Cas said from the entrance and both Dean and Jack stopped taking their heavy coats off to look at him.

“Hi.” Jack smiled.

“Hey babe. You okay?” Dean said.

“Yes…” Cas answered and watched as they hanged the coats on the holder and took their shoes off. “How was school?” He asked as Jack came closer to give him a quick hug.

“It was lame.” Jack nodded. “One teacher talked about Christmas and I was just curious about it.”

“Really? That’s nice.” Cas watched Jack nod slightly and walk into the kitchen behind him without much care.

Dean laughed through his nose and hugged Cas’ waist before giving him a kiss.

“See how much of a teenager our son is?” Dean said. “Just like all the other ones.”

“Took him longer than I expected.” Cas whispered with a chuckle and kissed Dean again.

They both walked into the kitchen to Jack piling his books on the corner of the table as usual, to do his homework as soon as requested.

“Uniform.” Dean warned, watching as Cas sat and focused on documents scattered over the table.

Jack immediately got up.

“Sorry.” He said on his way out of the kitchen.

Dean washed his hands on the sink and went to the fridge to make them something to eat.

“Hey, do you think we should have Christmas?” He asked as he placed cookies and milk on the table. “Jack sounded really excited about it all.”

Castiel hummed as he looked up at Dean. “Sounds like a great idea…” He said and smiled. “We could decorate and buy presents. It would be really nice to celebrate together.”

“Yeah, so we can plan to go out and get all the stuff.” Dean smiled back and leaned down to press a kiss to Cas’ hair.

Minutes later, Jack came back having changed from his uniform.

“Wanna do some training today, kid?” Dean asked.

“Sure!” Jack nodded excitedly.

Dean hummed, pointing at the cookies. “Eat up and then head outside to start while I change, okay?”

Jack nodded and sat on the table. He and Dean ate quietly since Cas seemed to be deeply focused on the paperwork.

Minutes later, Dean got up and headed to the bedroom to change from his work uniform. Jack finished eating and cleaned up after them, leaving the cookie jar on the table for Cas. When Dean walked back in the kitchen, Jack was not there anymore and Cas was still concentrated.

“Babe?” Dean called gently, stopping by Cas’ side and placing his hand on his shoulder.

Castiel hummed and nodded once, without taking his eyes from the papers.

“Need any help?” Dean asked.

“No.” Cas breathed out and looked up at Dean. “It’s okay. I can handle.” He smiled.

“I know you can.” Dean smiled back and leaned down to give him a peck on the lips. “Just scream if you need anything, alright?” He said against Cas’ lips and pecked them again.

“Of course.” Cas said softly. “Have fun with him.”

Dean squeezed Cas’ shoulder and walked towards the laundry room, getting a football and a soccer ball on his way out of the house. He closed the door in case they ended up being noisy.

Jack was lifting a bucket and a couple of mops on the air, swinging them from side to side with a smile plastered on his face. Dean smiled to himself as he put the soccer ball down, feeling pride all over his insides to see Jack so calm and in control of his powers.

“Alright put them down, Jack.” He called and watched as Jack looked at him and nodded -without letting the objects fall- before putting everything down on the platform. “Yes, there! Good Job!” Dean congratulated with a thumb up and Jack smiled at him.

Still from close to the door Dean lifted the ball and threw it towards Jack, who made it stop on the air when it was around a yard from his face. He focused on it and soon the ball was flying back towards Dean in a moderate speed.

“Yeah!” Dean said excitedly as he got hold of it. “You’re doing great!” He said, walking to Jack and giving him a high five.

“Thanks.” Jack smiled.

They continued to practice with the ball, using Jack’s powers during some time and then tuning them down to play normally with the soccer ball. They managed to use Jack’s “yellow blast wave” on one of the mops to only immobilize it and not destroy it, but the other mops were not so lucky.

“Dean.” Jack called after some time, and Dean hummed as answer.

“Why aren’t you and Castiel married?” He asked and kicked the ball back at Dean.

Dean stopped the ball with his foot and bit the inside of his left cheek.

“Uh…” He mumbled. “I don’t know.” He shrugged and kicked the ball back to Jack.

“You don’t want to?” Jack offered genuinely.

“What? No! Of course I want!” Dean shook his head and then sighed. “Look… it’s complicated, Jack.” He tried. “Cas and I, we… we talked about it, we both want it but there’s always something going on and it never seems to be the right time.” He explained as he walked closer to Jack and sat on the edge of the platform.

Jack sat by his side with the ball between his folded legs.

“But there’s nothing going on now...” He frowned. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Dean chuckled and leaned back on both his hands.

“Well, right now we have to adapt to raising you. We have to focus on you, and not on us.” Dean tried.

“But I’m fine!” Jack said with vehemence. “You’re raising _me_ and _I’m_ saying it’s just fine.”

“Yeah.” Dean smiled and looked down. “Wish it was that easy, kid.”

“It is easy.” Jack insisted and Dean looked up at him. “You just have to ask.”

With a sigh, Dean shook his head.

“I don’t even know how to do that.” He said.

Jack looked intently at him for a few seconds and then gasped.

“Maybe I can help you!” He said excitedly. “We can make a plan…”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up before he smiled. He nodded as his heart started increasing its speed.

 

***

 

Dean had been weird. A weird kind of weird. It took Castiel less than two days to notice that.

Since they agreed to celebrate Christmas, they went to the center of the city during the weekend to find decorations, and not once Dean stayed with Cas and Jack, always saying he had things to look for while they shopped. Other than that, it always felt like Dean and Jack were hiding something from him since they obviously changed the subject whenever he walked in the room, and how they exchanged smirks and looks when they thought Cas was not looking.

Castiel became bitter when Dean arrived from work on December 18 saying he had to make a quick trip to a town nearby because Garth had called him and asked for help with a case. Cas immediately offered to go with him, but Dean declined the offer saying that Garth asked for him specifically, and also someone had to stay with Jack.

A million thoughts ran in Castiel’s mind, but none of them seemed to be the truth. He settled on the hypothesis that maybe Dean and Jack had been whispering about Cas’ Christmas present, and maybe Dean used the Garth excuse to leave town and get said present. He just needed something to calm his mind.

Dean quickly packed a duffle bag and left it on the hallway while he went to the living room to say goodbye to Jack and Cas, who were playing a board game on the coffee table.

“I’m heading out now, guys.” He said.

“Okay.” Jack smiled, then got up and gave Dean a hug.

Castiel did not say anything, still upset over how weird and suspicious Dean’s whole story was.

Dean kneeled down by Cas’ side and placed a hand on his chin, trying to get him to look up. Castiel looked at him with an angry squint.

“I promise I’ll be back as soon as this hunt is over.” Dean said. “I’m only going because it’s Garth and I owe him.”

Clenching his jaw, Castiel nodded slightly.

“Bye, babe.” Dean said and pecked Cas’ lips, but did not get a kiss in return. “I love you.” He added.

Cas looked the other way, so Dean pursed his lips and got up. Jack watched them intently, trying not to show how upset he was.

Dean walked back to the hallway and took his bag from the floor, then headed to the door and shut it behind him. He was about to get in the car when arms came from behind him and hugged his middle tightly.

“I’m sorry.” Cas mumbled against his nape. “I just don’t want you to go.” He whispered.

“I’m sorry too, babe. I really am.” Dean caressed Cas’ hands and held them so that he could turn around. “It will be really quick, I swear.”

“I love you too.” Castiel said, looking up at Dean’s eyes. “Please be safe and come back to me.”

Dean nodded and tried to kiss him again, this time feeling Cas immediately open up and deepen it with need and desperation. His hands squeezed Dean’s arms one last time before he leaned back.

“Call me.” Cas pleaded.

“I will.” Dean answered and pecked Cas’ lips one more time before getting in the car. “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

Castiel nodded and watched the Impala leave, having no idea that Dean was actually about to make a 10 hour drive to Grantsburg, Wisconsin instead of meeting Garth on a town nearby.

All for the sake of a surprise.

 

***

 

It was December 21 and Dean still had not arrived. He called daily with updates about the hunt, saying he was doing his best to be home as soon as possible.

Jack and Castiel decided to stop waiting for him and start putting up the decorations, even though they wanted to do everything as a family.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to build this with my powers?” Jack asked, eyeing the pieces of the tree. “It would be really faster.”

“It’s not necessary.” Cas assured him. “I’m very good at following instructions.” He said and smiled as he turned the paper containing all the instructions. “I told your mother that when she was trying to build you a crib.”

“You built me a crib?” He asked in surprise, eyebrows up.

“Of course.” Castiel said with a head tilt. “We thought you would be born a baby, remember?”

“Yes, but I figured you wouldn’t raise me as people raise normal babies.” Jack shrugged.

“Why not? That’s exactly what your mother wanted, Jack.” Castiel said softly. “We’re not her, neither are we the best, but Dean and I are trying to do that.”

Jack looked at him with a frown.

“You are.” He said with a decisive nod. “You are the best. You are my parents.”

Castiel huffed an emotional laugh, and the second he opened his mouth to answer, he heard the rumble of the Impala’s engine and his eyebrows lifted high.

Jack got up and ran to the hallway and out the door while Castiel was still getting up from the floor.

“Dean!” Jack yelled just as Cas reached the door, in time to see him jumping to Dean for a hug. “You’re back!”

“Hey, kid!” Dean said with his voice strained from Jack’s strength.

Cas watched them with his stinging, both from the cold and the emotions over having a family of his own. Dean looked up from the hug and caught his eye. He squeezed Jack’s back and patted it, and as Jack stepped back, Cas walked to them and immediately his arms went to Dean’s middle, his face buried in Dean’s shoulder with strength.

Dean returned the hug just as eagerly, giving Jack a quick wink before planting a kiss to Cas’ shoulder and other to his neck.

“I missed you.” He mumbled against Cas’ skin.

Instead of answering, Castiel lifted his head and pressed his lips against Dean’s.

“You will not go on trips alone anymore.” Cas said decidedly as he leaned back.

“I won’t.” Dean promised. “Not without you.”

Cas gave Dean another kiss, a softer one.

“You know what?” He said and took the car keys from Dean’s hand. “I’m gonna go to that bakery you like and get us something delicious to eat. Maybe a pie or a cake...”

“Awesome.” Dean nodded excitedly. He took his duffle bag from the back seat and watched as Cas got in the driver’s seat and started the engine. He smirked at how good Cas looked in his car and gave him a wink. “Be careful.” He said out of habit.

Castiel gave a little wave before leaving. Dean and Jack watched him until the car disappeared on the road and then got in the house. As soon as the door was closed, Jack was almost exploding in excitement.

“So?” Jack asked with an anxious smile and Dean chuckled.

“Everything is working out just fine so far.” Dean said and placed his arm around Jack’s shoulder to lead him to the kitchen. “Garth melted the silver and we took it to one of his friends to make the rings. It took a little while but they ended up ready.”

“Can I see them?” Jack asked with wide eyes.

“I don’t have them, yet.” Dean said, apologetically. “I took them to a store in town to get refined and engraved.” He explained. “It’ll be ready by sometime next week.”

“This is so exciting.” Jack smiled big.

“Yeah…” Dean said and ran both hands over his own face. “It’s just a proposal, right?”

“Castiel is a little suspicious of you but if you act normal from now on I think it will be okay, dad… Dean!” He immediately corrected, face turning white. “I meant Dean!”

Dean softened, and smiled fondly.

There it was.

 

***

 

“So, Sam and Eileen can’t come over because they rented a cabin in Colorado two months ago and they can’t get a refund now.” Dean said as he hung up the phone.

Jack looked up from where he was sitting on the floor, building a small paper statue of Santa Claus and his reindeers.

“Oh… I wanted them to come.” He said sadly. “Aunt Eileen makes the best cookies.”

“Well maybe next year we can make plans earlier.” Castiel offered with a shrug, hanging a couple of glass baubles on the tree.

“Yeah.” Dean agreed, sitting on the couch and reaching for another slice of pie. “You called Claire yet?” He asked Cas.

“Yes… she can come over on December 26.” Cas said in disappointment. “They’re celebrating with Jody and she doesn’t wanna leave Kaia and the other girls.”

“Well at least she will come over… that’s good.” Dean said, feeling upset for not having Sam and Eileen over.

“Will I have to share my room with Claire?” Jack asked after a few minutes. “Because I don’t want to.”

“We’ll work something out.” Dean said with a chuckle, hearing Cas do the same. “Don’t worry, kid.”

They continued to decorate the living room and eat the pie Castiel bought. And by the end of the day, the whole place was filled with colored lights and ornaments, giving it an even bigger sense of joy and comfort.

A huge sense of _home_.

 

***

 

On Friday, two days before Christmas, Dean and Cas left Jack alone and went to the city to buy his presents, thinking about flooding the tree with packages to make his first experience memorable. Castiel had already bought Dean’s present when he was out of town, and Dean had bought Cas’ on the way back home from Garth.

They also stopped by the supermarket to get everything they would need for the Christmas dinner, and ended up taking a walk on the park to have some time alone.

After walking for a few minutes, they sat on a bench by the lake and continued to hold hands.

“I know we’re together a lot but I somehow miss you.” Cas mumbled, laying his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“I get it, babe…” Dean said. “And I miss our naked cuddling most of all.” He added and got a chuckle from Cas.

“Well, me too.” Cas agreed and squeezed Dean’s fingers. “Maybe Sam and Eileen can have Jack over sometime after New Year… then we can have a little fun for longer than five minutes.”

“And please on the bed, not in the shower.” Dean whined.

Castiel chuckled again and lifted his head to give a kiss to Dean’s cold cheek.

“I love you.” He said softly. Dean looked at him. “And I love our family.”

Dean smiled and leaned forward, causing their freezing noses to come together in a nuzzle.

“Me too.” He whispered and kissed Cas’ lips.

When they broke the kiss, they noticed a young boy standing in front of them with a skateboard under his arm, eyes wide, gaping at their display of affection.

“What?” Dean asked and grimaced at the little boy, who ran away from them as quick as he could.

“You can be so mean sometimes, Dean.” Cas smiled for a second before breaking into laughter and causing Dean to do the same thing.

As their laughter faded, Castiel could not help but stare at Dean. His freckles were even more evident due to the cold wind, and his lips were all dry and pink. Dean found himself doing just the same, noticing how glassy and soft Cas’ blue eyes were, and how his lips were plumper and even more chapped than usual.

“Since we’re here alone, I uh…” Cas started, shifting his gaze from Dean’s eyes to his lips. “I wanted to talk to you about getting married.”

“Oh.” Dean breathed in and leaned back. “Right now?” He breathed out, feeling his heartbeat quicken.

Castiel frowned and retrieved his hand from Dean’s, suddenly defensive.

“You… don’t want to?” He asked.

Dean bit the inside of his cheek in order to not freak out and spill everything he had planned.

“It’s not that I don’t want to…” He chuckled nervously and Cas’ frown only deepened.

“What is it, then?” Cas shrugged inquisitively, getting slightly irritated and anxious.

“Uhm…” Dean swallowed thick. “Can’t we wait a little longer?”

“What? Why?” Castiel asked, confused. “You said you wanted and we would talk about it…”

“I just, uh, don’t feel like I’m ready… yet...?” Dean shrugged, hating himself for putting that worried look on Cas’ face. “I’m sorry.”

Castiel nodded slowly.

“Of course, no problem.” He said and pursed his lips. “Whatever you need.” He tried to smile.

Neither of them said anything else. They just got up and walked back to the car, going home still in hopeful silence. Dean hoping Cas could just wait for a few more days, and Cas hoping he had not been deceived by Dean.

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

 

Dean lost count of how many times he almost gave up and told his whole plan to Castiel.

Cas was staying away and giving him space as if he was afraid of Dean running away if they touched each other for more than five seconds. They had not done anything together in or out of the house since the talk in the park, and neither had them cuddled, hugged or had sex.

On Sunday, Dean was almost bursting. He called the jeweler and begged him to speed the process before everything had to be called off. The man said he would not work on Christmas day, but on Tuesday morning he would do his best to finish the rings.

As they prepared the Christmas Eve dinner, Castiel called Dean aside, his expression worried and tired.

“I want to talk about what you said on the park the other day.” Cas said directly. “But not now or even today… only when Christmas is over.”

Dean nodded and attempted to talk, but Castiel raised his finger, stopped him.

“I will do my best to pretend it didn’t bother me in order to make this a good experience for Jack. But we will talk about everything later.” Cas continued.

“Yeah. Okay.” Dean breathed out with a nod. “I’m really sorry, I… I need you to know that, Cas.”

Castiel nodded once and pursed his lips.

“I know.” He said and tried to smile, and Dean knew he meant it.

Dean carefully leaned forward and nuzzled Cas’ cheek, closing his eyes.

“I love you, babe.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” Cas whispered back and gave Dean’s cheek a kiss before going back to preparing the food.

 

***

 

When Dean felt his body waking up, he also felt cold. For once, it was not the winter’s fault.

Things had not gone past that little talk on the kitchen. Dean desperately missed Castiel’s body heat, his soft skin and his gentle touch. His words, his voice, and his affection. It was so hard to be without once he had gotten so used to it.

That is why Dean did the only plausible thing on that beginning of morning: he pretended to still be asleep and plastered himself against Cas’ back, sliding closer to him and breathing in against his dark hair.

Castiel quietly sighed in his sleep and pushed himself back against Dean’s body. Dean smiled where his lips met the back of Cas’ neck before leaving a gentle kiss there.

“Fuck, I miss you.” He mumbled.

Obviously, though, it did not last.

Less than five minutes later, Dean heard a loud thumping noise followed by Jack screaming an “I’m fine!” from the hallway. Castiel sat up with wide eyes, clearly startled by the noise. Dean pursed his lips, feeling sad for losing Cas’ warmth so fast.

“Oh my god!” Another scream came and Cas started getting up in worry. “There are so many presents!” Jack continued excitedly.

Cas huffed a laugh and sat back on the bed.

“We should go there with him.” He mumbled, looking back at Dean, who was still laying down.

“Yeah.” Dean said with his eyes locked to Cas’, trying to convince him that they could go back to normal without using any words.

Castiel pursed his lips in a smile and shifted, leaning down to press a kiss to Dean’s lips.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” He said softly.

Dean held Cas’ forearm when he moved to get back up, pulling him down to another kiss, a deeper one.

“Merry Christmas, babe.” He said quietly against Cas’ lips.

The second they started a new kiss, Jack came bursting in the room, opening the door widely and jumping on their bed.

“Are the presents for me?” He asked. “Can I open them?”

Jack’s blue eyes were wide and shiny in expectation, and his slightly long hair completely disheveled. Dean could not help but see Castiel in him.

“Of course you can.” Cas said with a smile, getting up. “How about you just wait a minute so that Dean and I can be there with you?”

“Yeah kid, we’ll be there in a second.” Dean added with a thumbs-up.

Jack nodded anxiously and got up from the bed, running out of the room in less than a second.

Dean huffed a laugh that melted into a sigh. He watched as Castiel put on his fluffy black robe over his pajama-covered body and smiled at him before getting into the bathroom.

Soon later, they were both sitting on the couch while Jack hovered over the presents under the tree. Dean had an arm around Cas’ shoulders, and Cas was leaning against him with a hand on his thigh, both warming each other.

“Which one should I open first?” Jack turned around to face Dean and Cas. “Is there any sort of method to this?”

“The method is to get excited about not knowing what you got and rip the wrapping paper to find out.” Dean said with a chuckle.

“Exactly! And you can open the one you prefer, Jack.” Castiel added.

Jack nodded quickly. He ran his eyes over the presents curiously and finally, he grabbed the smallest one.

He ripped the paper, clearly holding his breath, and gasped when he opened the box.

“A wristwatch!” He said in extreme awe, looking intently at the black watch with wide eyes. “It’s just like yours!” He said in excitement, looking up at Dean for a brief second before untying the watch from the small pillowcase and trying to put it around his wrist. “It’s just like my dad’s!” He mumbled in awe down at the watch.

Dean’s heart sped up strongly. After dancing around the word for so many days, Jack had finally said it. Dean’s lips remained parted for a second before emotions got to him and laughed emotionally, his chest rumbling in sheer happiness. Tears clouded his vision, and when he looked to his side, all he could see was Castiel’s gummy smile and teary eyes.

“Look!” Jack said, lifting his arm to show them the watch fastened around his wrist. “Does it look nice?” He asked expectantly, eyebrows up.

“It looks perfect, Jack.” Cas answered with a smile, reaching for Dean’s hand and squeezing it in comfort.

Dean subtly sniffed and faked a cough to regain his voice.

“It’s looks awesome kid.” He said and winked at Jack.

After smiling big, Jack dove in for another present. He tore apart the wrapping paper that hid boxes of Star Wars Legos, and almost lost his breath when he saw that one of them was the Death Star he had been wanting.

He was in complete elation. A big smile on his face, gasps and expressions flowing around him with ease and freedom, just as any kid should feel. He thanked Dean and Cas over and over, even more after he opened a bunch of presents forming a baseball kit that they got for his practices.

There was only one present left, and Cas fidgeted intensely by Dean’s side when he noticed which present it was, so Dean held him close in support.

When Jack got hold of it, he sighed happily before starting to open its ends. He looked intently at the books he took out of the wrapping paper, his expression unreadable. One of the books was a catalog of plants Jack had been enamored by for weeks but did not ask for because it was very expensive, and the other was a book on professional gardening, by an author he could not stop mentioning every other day. They often passed by the bookstore, and every time they did, Jack stood in front of the showcase admiring both books.

“You remembered.” Jack said softly. “Thank you, _father_ …” He continued and looked up at Cas with gentle, wet eyes.

Cas nodded, unable to form words with the lump on his throat left by all the emotions and feelings.

Jack left everything on the floor and got up, walking closer to the couch.

“You are the best parents in the whole universe.” Jack said, winding his arms around Dean and Cas’ necks, squeezing them in a hug. “Thank you for having me.”

Dean sighed emotionally, squeezing one arm around Jack, feeling the ghost of Cas’ hand just by the side of his own.

“It’s all we ever wanted, Jack.” Castiel said, his voice strained and weak.

There would never exist enough preparation in the world to brace Dean and Castiel for the feeling brought by Jack calling them _dad_ and _father_. Not enough preparation to make them able to hold back the emotions. Not enough preparation to deal with the overwhelming feeling of having done something meaningful and completely _right_.

 

***

 

They continued exchanging presents for a while longer.

Cas gave Dean a leather jacket he had noticed Dean looking at when they went to the mall, and Dean gave Cas three new t-shirts with fun prints that he bought in different shops on his way back home from Garth.

Jack gave Cas a new messenger bag, since his was starting to peel off from being so cheap, and to Dean he gave a leather-cover journal, because he once mentioned it might be good to start writing again.

After that, Dean prepared them hot chocolate and pancakes while Castiel folded what could still be useful from the wrapping papers. They all sat on the couch and watched old Christmas movies for the rest of the day, stopping only for snacks a couple of times.

When the night came, an hour was spent in front of the computer to video chat Sam and Eileen, and then Jody, Mary and the girls. Claire told them she would leave during the night and would be there by noon on the following day.

They ditched on Jack’s practice in order to play board games by the side of the Christmas tree, and felt glad about how easy it was to laugh and joke together. With that amount of happiness, everything else could be forgotten. All the disagreements and tension, all the sorrow and regrets.

Dean could not help but feel like this is what he had been missing on for all his life. And he decided once again that nothing could possibly make him give it all up, because that was his chance to live what he always wanted. What he needed. What his family was willing to give him.

Jack was reading from a card of the game when Castiel caught Dean’s eye. They kept on contact for a few moments, and when Castiel smiled, that shy little lift of his lips, Dean _knew_ they were fine… he knew that Cas wasn’t deeply upset anymore, and they were back to the way things were.

It was with the lights reflecting their bliss that Dean noticed how good things could get if he simply let some things go and allowed others to stick around.

 


	30. Chapter 30

 

Claire arrived by lunchtime, and the celebrations continued gleefully. She gifted everyone and got gifts in return from them all. Castiel helped her settle in, placing her bags on Jack’s bedroom and leaving the sleep arrangements for further organization.

Around two in the afternoon, Dean got a call from the jeweler, saying he managed to speed the process and the rings would be ready around four, so Dean should stop by the shop then. Dean waited a few minutes, trying to think of an excuse to why he needed to go to town on the day after Christmas, when everyone else wanted to be together and celebrate.

He walked in the kitchen and saw Claire and Cas building a puzzle on the table.

“Babe.” Dean called and Cas looked up. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Dean asked with a smile, pointing behind himself.

Castiel nodded, got up and followed Dean to the hallway close to their bedroom.

“Is there something wrong?” Cas asked, frowning. “Did Jack break another broom?” He sighed.

“What?” Dean chuckled. “No. Your brooms are just fine.” He reached forward and caressed Cas’ arm. “I was thinking of taking Jack with me to the city for a while, so that you and Claire can have some time to yourselves… you always say you wanted to talk to her more, so I thought I could give you that chance.”

“But we’re supposed to spend time as a family.” Cas said with a sad frown, then looked down for a second before lifting his eyes back at Dean’s. “I don’t want you to give up spending time with her because of me.”

“She’ll be here for the whole week, babe.” Dean reasoned. “We have plenty of time, don’t worry about it… let me do this for you.” He raised his eyebrows in question, smiling a little.

Castiel considered for a second, his lips pursed, eyes locked on Dean’s. He nodded, reaching for Dean’s waist to place both arms around his middle and pull him close.

“Okay.” He said before nuzzling Dean’s cheek and squeezing him. “What will you and Jack do?”

Dean shrugged.

“Walk around on the mall, maybe watch a movie, go to the arcade, have some coffee… some bonding time too.” He smiled and felt Cas’ lips doing the same against his cheek.

“That sounds very nice… I could be jealous if I hadn’t something just as awesome to do.” Cas whispered, chuckling.

“Well I might ask you out to something even better later this week…” Dean suggested, already thinking of his plan.

“Can’t see why I would say no.” Cas answered, also ambiguously, causing Dean’s heart to start pumping faster.

Dean leaned back to look into Cas’ eyes and saw that the glimmer in them was finally back from being so off and distant during the previous days.

“Just gotta wait for my question then…” Said Dean, heart beating fast, anxiety high in his throat.

He leaned forward to kiss Cas’ lips before he could say anything else. Castiel eagerly kissed him back, gripping tight to Dean’s lower back, moving his lips with need, trying to show him how much he had missed him.

When they broke apart, Dean’s cheeks were reddening, his breathing weak.

“I better go before this gets out of hand…” He mumbled, smirking to himself. “And that would be easy to happen.” He gave Cas’ lips one last peck and gently slapped his ass before walking to Jack’s bedroom to call him.

 

***

 

Dean took Jack to the arcade first, and taught him how to play a few of his favorite ones, the ones he used to play with Sam when they managed to eat and still have some coins left whenever John left for a hunt.

Jack was very eager to win them all, and Dean had a lot of fun watching him beat the smaller children who tried to play against him. When they noticed, it was almost four in the afternoon, so they decided to stop by a diner and have some coffee before going to the jewelry.

Dean quickly checked his phone and saw Cas had sent him some messages.

**Cas [3:12 pm]**   
**Hope you’re having fun with Jack.**   
**Claire and I talked a lot, and now we’re about to bake a cake together :D**

**Cas [3:13 pm]**   
**I’m having so much fun with her… it’s all I ever wanted.**

**Cas [3:15 pm]**   
**Thank you, Dean… I love you very much <3**

**Cas [3:16 pm]**   
**Hope I can repay you soon, in the way you prefer ;)**

Dean chuckled to himself, a gummy smile on his lips as he started to reply.

**Dean [3:52 pm]**   
**hey babe**   
**I’m glad you’re having fun!**   
**we’re having a great time here too**   
**took Jack to the arcade earlier**

Dean attached a picture he had taken of Jack while he played Pac-Man.

**Dean [3:54 pm]**   
**we’re having coffee at a diner now**   
**won’t take too much longer**   
**unless you need some more time??**

**Dean [3:55 pm]**   
**also HELL YEAH I’ll take on that offer heh**

Dean chuckled again at his own response, and when he looked up, he noticed Jack was studying him.

“I researched about marriage proposals and I found out that people tend to do great acts of love, sometimes in public places to impress other people, as well as the proposed one.” Jack said, and then looked down to check out his menu. “Are you planning to do something like that?”

“Nah…” Dean shrugged, not looking at Jack due to the heat he felt running up his neck. “Cas isn’t like that… and _I’m_ not like that either. It would make no sense doing something with too much…” He searched for a word. “ _Pizzazz_.” He settled.

Jack nodded. As he opened his mouth to continue, Ellie, their regular server stopped by their table.

“Hey you guys…” She said with a smile and then frowned. “Wait, no Castiel today?” She asked.

Dean smiled and shook his head, getting ready to answer, but Jack beat him to it.

“No.” He said with a friendly smile. “Today it will be just me and my dad. My father stayed home with my sister Claire.”

Dean’s breathing quickened for a few seconds at Jack’s words, and he stared at him in awe. He could not help feeling that way. Suddenly, he wondered when the effect would pass… because he didn’t want it to pass.

“I see.” Ellie nodded, amused. “Looks like you’re having fun…” She said and Jack nodded excitedly while Dean smiled. “What can I get you today?”

“Coffee?” Dean said, asking Jack and then nodding to Ellie as Jack agreed. “I’ll have a slice of today’s pie.”

“And I’ll have a sandwich.” Jack said decidedly.

“Alright.” Ellie took notes. “Just a few minutes.” She said before winking and leaving them.

“Well, if you’re not doing a big _pizzazz_ , what will you do?” Jack asked.

“I’m not sure.” Dean pouted in thought. “I was thinking of doing it privately, talk to him and pop the question if the moment felt right. While Claire is here so we can all celebrate.” He said with a smile that quickly fell. “If he accepts, that is.”

“He will, dad.” Jack said with confidence, his eyebrows agreeing with his voice. “I may be technically a baby and not know how love works or feels in a romantic way… but I can see it when I look at you and Castiel. You are just like the couples in the movies.”

Dean smiled at Jack’s words.

“Thanks, kid.” He nodded. “Let’s keep hoping for the best.”

Jack nodded just as their food arrived.

They ate while watching the TV that was close by, commenting on the news that flashed on the screen.

Before leaving the diner to head to the jeweler, Dean checked his phone once again.

**Cas [4:01 pm]**   
**I’m happy to know that.**   
**Jack looks very happy… it warmed my heart.**   
**And don’t worry, it’s okay for you and Jack to come home when you’re done.**

**Cas [4:02 pm]**   
**Despite having done a mess…**

Dean loaded the attached picture to see a selfie of Claire rolling her eyes, nose and cheeks painted with flour, and Castiel smiling big by her side.

**Cas [4:05 pm]**   
**The cake is almost ready**   
**And will be all warm and soft when you and Jack come back :)**

Dean smiled and turned his phone towards Jack, showing him the picture.

“Seems like your father and sister are having a great time, huh?” He smiled.

“That is a nice picture.” Jack agreed. “And we are having a great time too!” He exclaimed, taking the phone from Dean’s hand and opening the camera option on the conversation window.

Jack got up and walked around the table to slide on the seat by Dean’s side. He winded an arm around Dean’s neck.

“Smile.” He guided and Dean did so.

Jack snapped the picture and sent it without any captions. He squeezed Dean’s shoulder once before letting go and getting up.

Minutes later, they were arriving at the jeweler, who greeted them at the door since the shop was closed to public.

“Mr. Winchester.” Lou said with a fond smile. “Merry Christmas.”

“Hey there Mr. Smith.” Dean said as he took off his gloves. “Happy late Christmas!” He shook Lou’s hand before placing a hand on Jack’s back as indication for him to step forward. “This is Jack… my kid.”

“Hi.” Jack said with a smile, taking his purple mittens off and shoving them into his pockets. “Nice to meet you.” He offered his hand.

“Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Jack.” Lou smiled, his mustache frowning as he took Jack’s hand.

They entered the shop and warmth surrounded them, a faint scent of cinnamon coming from somewhere above, probably Lou’s home.

“Castiel was getting suspicious then, huh?” Lou said, walking to the back of the shop, into a hidden room.

“Yes… it got bad the day we came here to buy Jack’s watch.” Dean started, leaning against the glass showcase while Jack sat on a chair in the corner of the room. “Right after that, he wanted to talk about marriage and I ended up saying I wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted so that he wouldn’t ask until I got the chance to propose first.”

Lou chuckled.

“Poor Castiel… must’ve felt terrible.”

“We both did, I’ll give you that.” Dean said with a sigh. “I’m sorry for asking you to speed the process during the holiday season, Lou. I intend on paying extra for that. If his suspicions weren’t about to screw our relationship, I could’ve waited longer.”

“Don’t worry, son, I understand.” Lou said as he walked back into the room with a dark blue tray in hand, a pair of rings resting on the velvety surface. “I was almost finished, only needed a final sweep and the engravings.”

“You managed to do them?” Dean asked in expectancy.

“Of course!” Lou said with a chuckle. “Even though I don’t understand the language, I bet it means something thoughtful.”

“It does…” Dean smiled.

“This is very nice silver, I have to say… never seen it before.” Lou stated, placing the tray on the showcase. “May I ask where you got it?”

“It’s very old.” Dean said with a shrug. “It was a blade that Cas had and carried when he was still a commander… he got it from his, uh… family.” He smiled.

“I see.” Lou seemed impressed. “Well it seemed to receive your unique engravings just fine, like it was meant for that kind of language.”

“It was, in a way…” Dean said nostalgically.

Lou indicated the rings with his hand and a small tilt of head, and Dean focused on them, noticing Jack was by his side to see them too.

The silver shone bright under the yellowish light of the shop.

Both rings were equal: considerably thin in width and thickness, ragged, with two plain, shiny horizontal cut lines. The only thing to tell them apart was the engravings on the inside part.

“They’re beautiful, Lou.” Dean said, almost breathless.

“They really are.” Jack said, also smiling. “The silver shines very brightly.”

“Just the way I wanted.” Dean pursed his lips in a smile as he looked up to the jeweler.

“Well I’m glad to have attended your expectations.” Lou said with a gentle nod.

“You exceeded them!” Dean said with a chuckle, still in awe. “Thank you _so_ much.”

“You’re very welcome, son.” Lou smiled and squeezed Dean’s forearm, clearly affected by the emotions. “You know… I’ve seen you and that brother of yours for years walking around Lebanon, but neither of you ever looked as happy as you look nowadays, after having found a better half.” He said.

Dean smiled, feeling his throat tight. He nodded and focused back on the rings, not wanting to cry in public.

“Give it a try.” Lou said gently, catching Dean’s eye.

Dean reached for the rings. He held Cas’ on his hand and slid the other one on his finger.

His body tensed.

The silver seemed to buzz where it touched his skin, the same feeling that ran through his body whenever Cas healed him from an injure with a touch to his forehead. Dean closed his hand in a fist and let it go seconds later. Both the object and its meaning fit perfectly, the weight suited him, it was clearly meant for him.

“Yeah.” Dean nodded and huffed a laugh. “It’s freaking perfect…”

Lou smiled and nodded towards Jack.

“I can’t wait to know what Cas will think.” Dean said quietly, not meaning to say it aloud.

“I’m sure father will love it.” Jack said softly, touching Dean’s shoulder and causing Dean to smile up at him.

Lou leaned down behind the counter and took a few velvet boxes.

“Would you like to place them in any of these?” He asked while opening them so that Dean could choose.

Dean’s eyes immediately stopped on a black small case, with space for two rings instead of just one. He pointed at it and Lou nodded, taking both rings when Dean offered them.

Lou prepared the box and placed it on a white plastic bag that could easily be mistaken for a grocery store bag. Dean signed up the warranty papers and gave Lou the receipts proving the money had already been deposited. He thanked him and soon Jack and Dean were driving back home, a tingling sensation all around.

 

***

 

The Impala was needing an oil and water change, and Dean felt the need to work on that when he and Jack arrived.

“Are you sure?” Castiel asked suspiciously, watching Dean from the kitchen window. “It’s really cold, Dean, and it’s getting dark already… why don’t you come sit with us and watch TV for a while? You’ve been out all day.”

“I won’t take long, babe.” Dean said, gathering the oil and a few cloths, along with other things he would need. “Promise.” He looked up at Cas and winked at him.

Castiel gave him a pursed smile and nodded.

“We’ll be at the living room.” He said before closing the window and turning the kitchen lights off.

Dean sighed and got to work. He turned on the radio and left it on a reasonable volume. He started humming to the lyrics, trying not to think about the proposal, trying to be calm and chill about it all.

“Hey.” A voice came from his side, startling him and causing him to stop with the humming and almost hit his head on the lifted hood. Claire had a smile on her lips, holding two steaming mugs.

“Hey.” Dean answered. He took the mug she offered him and took a few sips to warm his body, then placed the mug on a steady surface of the engine.

For a few minutes, he continued to work with Claire watching what he did. The music playing softly.

“So you’re finally gonna pop the question, huh?” Claire asked, lifting the mug to her lips to hide her smirk.

Dean closed his eyes and sighed, letting his head dang.

“How do you know?” He asked and looked up at her, standing straighter and taking his mug in hand again.

“Jack.” Claire answered, crossing her ankles as she leaned against the wall.

Dean mirrored her position unconsciously, leaning against the car.

“He really doesn’t know how to be subtle.” Claire said with a playful squint. “Guess that runs in the family… well, except for me, ‘cause I can be subtle as fuck.”

Dean chuckled at her language, happy with the mention of her as a part of their family.

“Don’t let Cas hear you swearing like that.” Dean warned her in between sips and saw her open another smirk. “I was gonna tell you before asking him, you know.” He said with a shrug.

“It’s all cool.” Claire shrugged too. “It’s not like you have to “ask my permission” or something.” She air quoted.

“Yeah but… I wanted you to know.” Dean continued. “You’re our daughter, a part of the family.” He said, smiling softly.

“C’mon now, Dean… no need to get all sappy on me.” Claire smiled. “Save that for Cas.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“You guys are gonna be fucking happy.” She said seriously. “I know it.”

“Thanks kid.” Dean nodded, lips pursed.

They drank in silence for a few minutes, until Dean turned around to finish up.

“You should come inside.” Claire said as she made to go back inside. “Cas and I made a killing cake.”

Dean smiled.

“I’ll be right there.” He said.

Claire nodded and turned around, heading inside the house and closing the door behind her.

Dean looked up and his focus went to the woods for a few seconds.

Talking to Claire had definitely made him feel better, and they had not even said much. Maybe that was why people said talking was good for their health...

Quickly, he finished up with the oil and closed the hood. He placed everything he used back to place and just as he turned around, he noticed the pink and dark blue sunset growing into darkness. The cold breeze brushed his face and uncovered neck. He could hear the faint sounds of Cas, Jack and Claire laughing at the living room, and that made him smile, feeding the butterflies inside his stomach.

He breathed in. Closed his eyes. And smiled.

And smiled…

_Tomorrow..._ , he thought.

_Tomorrow._

 

***

 

They stayed up late that day, playing games and watching movies, laughing and eating, sharing stories and smiles, creating memories.

The couch became Claire’s bed for the time being, with the promise that the next time she came over she would have a proper bed.

When Dean and Cas laid to sleep –having double checked all the doors and windows as usual- they spent a few minutes looking at each other. Their breaths met in between their faces. Their heartbeats were in harmony. Their eyes glimmering in unknown hope.

“I love you.” Castiel whispered, placing his hand over the blankets, offering it.

Dean pushed the blankets away and linked his fingers to Castiel’s.

“I love you.” He whispered back.

Since his right hand was free, Castiel leaned closer and cradled Dean’s jaw, pulling him in for a kiss while he squeezed his fingers. When they broke apart, Dean gently wiggled his fingers from Cas’ and opened his arms. Castiel took the invitation and shifted closer, hugging Dean’s middle and holding him tight as their legs tangled under the blankets.

Dean felt the need to say something else, but the elation he felt could give away his plans, so he just held Castiel as close as he could and felt his heartbeat against his chest until they both fell asleep.

 


	31. Chapter 31

 

Dean wished he could take the anxiety from his body with his own hands.

He felt heavy, and it was hard to breathe. He had not eaten a damn thing and it took him almost one hour to take a small cup of coffee because he felt like throwing up at any second.

Seeing Castiel walking around in comfy sweatpants and shirt while laughing with Jack and Claire was not exactly helping his body and mind to calm down. Cas gave him some side looks and questioning eyebrows during the day, but Dean dismissed his worries with strained smiles.

Around five in the afternoon, Dean was almost exploding. He had to do it already. He wanted to. He needed it.

He went to their bedroom, took the small box from the bottom of his least used drawer, shoved it in the pocket of his sweatpants and walked back to the corridor, stopping for a few deep breaths. Cas was watching TV with Jack and Claire, so when Dean felt that his lungs were working again, he stopped by the entrance of the living room.

“Babe?” Dean called and Castiel hummed in response. “Wanna have some tea with me outside?”

Castiel sat up on the couch and looked back at Dean with an expression between suspicion and interest.

“Of course.” He said and smiled big.

Dean nodded, noticing the wide-eyed look Claire and Jack shared. Apparently, he was _that_ obvious. He turned around into the kitchen and poured water on a kettle, placed it over the flame on the stove he had just lit and prepared two cups with the chosen tea.

As he leaned against the counter by the stove, he saw Castiel walking from the living room to the corridor to get himself a jacket. Dean smiled at him when he emerged from there wearing a wool hat he had just finished knitting and his trenchcoat instead of his usual black nylon jacket. Cas walked closer to him to place a kiss on his cheek and hand him a heavy coat, before walking towards the laundry room and opening the door to the back of the house. The wind caught him in a strong sweep, brushing his hair and making his tan coat swing behind him.

Dean’s heart sped up immediately. His anxious mind swimming on a thousand memories all at once.

Allowing them to arrive, he closed his eyes and remembered the first time they saw each other, how much he feared that unknown being that resisted his most powerful weapons. How his world felt dark and enlightened at the same time and he could not explain how or why. He vividly remembered those big blue eyes staring directly into his own and inquiring him about all the things he feared and hated most about himself.

He remembered all the times Castiel defied his own faith and his own kind, just to keep him safe. To help him. To care for him. Cas was the first one to believe in him in a different, unique way. The first one to believe he was not just a pawn at God’s mercy, that he was capable of so much more than people gave him credit for.

He remembered all the times Castiel weakened himself in order to help him, in order to save him. All the times he put himself in harm’s way for Dean. All the times they fought, argued and gave each other silent treatments over having different opinions. The times they saw each other in dangerous situations, thought they were not worth saving.

He remembered trying to help Castiel. He remembered forgiving all of his mistakes almost as soon as they were made. He also remembered the guilt and unbearable pain that marked his own soul every time he gave up on Cas, every time he let Castiel down, every time he chose someone else over him.

He remembered all the cases they worked together, all their battles, all the movie nights, all the time they spent together, all the dinner-not-dates and hiding dead bodies. All the jokes and midnight talks over beer and pie. The “ _sunshine_ ” calling and the teasing nicknames with an obvious deeper meaning behind them. All their hugs. All the “last night on Earth” events that should have led to something, but never did, because their fear held them back.

He remembered the first time he saw pure feeling in Castiel’s eyes. The first time he felt Castiel holding his left shoulder. All the times he held that same shoulder in plead and in comfort. The handprint Castiel left there when raising him from hell. The blue glow on his eyes every time he used his grace to heal, or to destroy.

He remembered all the smiles that Castiel gave him before they got together.

And he remembered watching Castiel arrive, leave, die and come back to him.

All _for_ _him_.

He remembered Castiel’s expression when he gave him a mixtape with love songs. He remembered seeing Castiel listen to the songs in his truck with a smile on his lips.

He remembered Castiel letting go of his hand in purgatory. He remembered watching Castiel be possessed and controlled. He remembered Castiel saving people and clearing paths. He remembered the shape of Castiel’s wings, its shadow going from perfectly functional to barely there.

He remembered the first time Castiel told him that he loved him, and how much he hated himself for freezing in place, not being able to answer because Cas was about to die on him, leave him forever. He remembered telling Castiel he was a brother, when truly he wanted to say how he wished Castiel were a lover.

He remembered the day Castiel gave up heaven for the first time and for the last time, giving himself completely for humanity. _For him_.

He remembered his suspicions and uncertainties for what once was just another creature, growing into the deepest, most powerful set of feelings he had ever experienced.

Dean remembered allowing himself to feel, to love and to receive all that in return and in the same extent.

Castiel would forever be his comrade in arms. Forever his partner in all possible levels and ways. And he knew that, as cheesy as that could possibly be, there were no other people on Earth more perfect for each other than the two of them.

He was as ready as he could be to live the rest of his life with Castiel by his side. To have a simple life, like he secretly dreamed of for years.

He was ready to wake up and fall asleep with Castiel every day. To feel his touch and his love. To feel his kisses and his skin. To hear his voice and admire his personality. To share food and compromise in order to see him frowning when choosing something to watch on TV. To make him laugh with dumb jokes and take pictures of him in secret to spread them on the walls and always be able to see his beautiful expression. To hold him close and comfort him when it got too much. To hold him close for no reason. To kiss his tears away and listen to his rants. To water plants with him and go to the park for picnics. To take a walk with him just because. To hold his hand without shame or fear. To kiss his chapped lips all the time. To say, “I love you” as much as he could. To make a family with him.

He was ready to do right by him.

He was ready. And he knew Castiel was also ready for all that, and more.

A gentle touch on his forearm caused Dean to open his eyes and breathe in, forcing his emotions down his throat.

“Dean.” Castiel said softly, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

Dean looked to the side and noticed that the water was boiling for what seemed to be a while, considering the intensity of the bubbles.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked, searching Dean’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Dean smiled, looking back at Cas. “Just got lost in thought for a minute.”

Castiel seemed to consider his answer before nodding.

“It’s snowing.” Cas said with his eyes sparkling, opening a small smile.

“That’s perfect.” Dean said with an emotional huffed laugh. He leaned forward and pecked Cas’ lips. “Perfect.” He repeated against Cas’ lips, before pulling him closer by his middle for a hug.

Castiel accepted the hug and held Dean close for a few seconds.

“I’ll be right there.” Dean said, stretching one arm to turn off the stove.

Castiel let go of him and nodded. “No daydreaming again, okay? It’s way too cold for me to wait outside while you travel in your mind.”

Dean smiled and watched Cas walking outside one more time. He poured the water on the cups, and while the tea dissolved, he dressed the coat Castiel had brought him, going to the corridor to grab his scarf.

Minutes later he was carrying both cups outside, using his elbow to close the laundry door. Cas looked up from his own lap, where he was twisting his fingers together, and got up. He reached to take one of the cups.

“Thank you.” Castiel murmured, sitting back on the bench with Dean now sitting by his side.

They sipped the tea in silence for a few minutes, appreciating the warmth that enveloped their mouths and body, fighting the cold around them. Dean looked over at the yard and saw the grass slowly receiving pecks of white.

“It’s beautiful.” Castiel said in awe, happiness all over his insides and a small smile on his lips.

Dean nodded, looking down at the bulge on his right pocket.

“Yeah... it is.” He sighed. “Babe, I… I have something to say.” He continued mere seconds later.

Castiel’s head turned towards him, and his smile slowly faded, giving space to a set of lined, worried lips and eyebrows. He nodded once.

“First of all I wanna say I’m sorry.” Dean said and swallowed thick.

“For what?” Starting to feel scared, Castiel asked.

“For lying to you…” Dean revealed. “More than once.” He pursed his lips and closed his eyes. His heartbeat was already out of control again.

Castiel frowned even deeper, but did not say anything, only placed his cup on the little table Dean had built weeks earlier.

Dean licked his lips in agony.

“I lied about going on a hunt with Garth.” He said and lightly bit the inside of his right cheek. “And I lied about wanting or not to get married to you.”

Cas’ eyes widened and he shifted on his seat. For a moment, Dean thought he was going to get up and leave, maybe even kick his ass. However, Cas stayed, looking out at the woods which were getting darker and darker by the minute.

“So…” Cas started, still not looking at him, and then cleared his throat. “So what?” He asked, clearly hurt. “You have been lying about everything? All that happened?” He said, finally looking at Dean again.

“No!” Dean said quickly, noticing how everything was already going sideways. He placed his cup on the table and reached forward to gently caress Cas’ forearm, careful not to spook him. “I know that everything you’re thinking is negative and possibly ends in a heartbreak but I swear to you, Cas… it’s not what you think. It’s the opposite of that. I swear.”

Castiel shook his head.

“Dean.” He sighed. “I don’t understand… please just explain already before it gets worse.”

Dean chuckled, looking fondly at him.

“You have no idea…” He said quietly. “Okay. I, uh, I did meet up with Garth. But it wasn’t for a hunt.”

Castiel seemed to have found three more heads attached to Dean’s neck, if his expression was any indication.

“I needed his help… professional help.” Dean continued. “But that’s not the point.” He smiled. “He helped me out and then I came home… that’s all.”

Castiel nodded.

“I did lie about the marriage thing back at the park… but not in the way you think.” Dean shook his head, and he noticed Castiel’s chest was heaving, just like his own. “I just needed a little more time… a little pause on that subject.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself on that matter, Dean.” Castiel said with certainty, though his eyes showed nothing but pain. “I was unfair to you... I know you need time and that maybe getting married is not what you want. I just want you to tell me, so that I…”

“No, babe.” Dean chuckled, shaking his head. “Uhm, okay, uh…” He sighed anxiously. “Cas, I have something to say and it’s not easy for me, so let me say it all before you freak out and end up hating me even more. Okay?” He tried.

“I don’t hate you.” Cas mumbled before nodding, still seeming to be worried at where the conversation was going.

“I had a whole thing scripted.” Dean said and scoffed, looking down at his own lap. “Well, fuck, things never go according to the script with me… or you for that matter.”

Dean looked up at Castiel and took a deep breath, eyes locked on the blue ones.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Cas… and my only regret is how I didn’t notice that earlier and enjoyed even more of my life with you as my partner.” Dean started, gripping his own thighs for support. “I said I needed time because I actually did need it, but not to think and decide _if_ I wanted to get married… but to continue with what I had planned for you… for _us_. I was only halfway into the plan when we talked at the park.” He chuckled nervously. “And for fear of you finding out, I panicked and said the worst possible thing… I said I wasn’t sure. When wanting to be with you forever is the only damn thing I am sure of in life.”

Castiel licked his smiley lips and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Dean breathed in as well.

“I love you.” Dean said calmly, softly, all the while smiling at Castiel. His heart seemed to calm itself. “What I feel for you, Cas… I have never felt for anyone else and I really hope to feel only for you. Because you’re it.” Dean shrugged. “ _You’re it_.” He repeated with a nod. “You’re the only one that believed in me when not even God did. The only one that never, ever left my side, even when we weren’t in terms. You’re there for me, you love me, and you want good things for me no matter what.”

Dean looked down for a second to reach for both of Cas’ hands and hold them gently.

“And I feel the exact same for you.” He continued, back to looking at Cas’ eyes. “I love you, I’m here for you, I want nothing but good things for you… and I’m yours.” Dean breathed in, feeling tears spreading on his lower eyelid, ready to fall. “I want to keep all of that up and going. I want to build the rest of my life slowly, with you by my side. I want to know you’re going to be there when I wake up. I want to kiss you every day, watch you smile and be the reason why you’re smiling. I want us to have no personal space. I want to do that lame _making love_ thing you like so much, as much as we can.” Dean half rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

The tears were at last touching his cheeks as he listened to Cas chuckling as well.

“I mean it.” He shrugged. “I wanna do all the cheesy crap old married couples do. All the arguments and bickering. The eye conversations. I wanna help you shave without cutting yourself, plan when we have to plant your flowers, help you cook and clean the house… I wanna raise Jack and Claire with you… I want to be your husband.”

Castiel looked down as his tears fell, so Dean let go of one of his hands to lift his chin up gently.

“I want it all Cas… all of it _with you_.” Dean said with certainty. “All there is to have in life, _with you_.” He smiled and saw Castiel smile within his nod.

Taking advantage of how his right hand was free, Dean reached for his pocket and took out the black little box, hearing Castiel’s faint gasp as he did it. He opened the box with one hand, shaking hard.

Once it was open and the two silver bands were visible, Dean looked up at Castiel in time to see his blue eyes going from the rings, back to him.

“Castiel…” Dean started.

“Oh, Dean…” Castiel whispered, smiling and breathing in emotionally, eyes filled with tears.

“Will you do me the saving honor of marrying me?” Dean continued and chuckled nervously.

Castiel took a deep breath, lips pursed in emotion, trying to hold back. And then he nodded… and the tears broke down. His smile opened up and he kept on nodding.

“Yes!” He said weakly, reaching forward to hug Dean’s neck. “Of course, Dean. God, yes!” He repeated, holding Dean tight. “I love you so much.” He mumbled against Dean’s shoulder and neck.

Dean let go of a breath he did not notice he was holding. He pressed his arms around Castiel and held him.

“I love you, babe.” He said, pressing kisses against the side of his face until Cas leaned back.

Their eyes met again for a second before their lips went to each other. Castiel held Dean’s neck with both hands while Dean retuned the affection with one hand on Cas’ waist and the one still holding the box leaning on his shoulder.

Their lips slid against each other, pouring every promise and praise they could not find the words to say aloud. Then, with little pecks from both of them, they leaned back.

“I don’t even know which finger we’re supposed to put them on.” Dean said as his neck and cheeks blushed. He was so worried and didn’t even think to research that part.

“That’s okay.” Castiel shrugged with a smile, caressing Dean’s thigh. “It doesn’t matter… we can google that later.” He chuckled and Dean did the same.

Dean took both bands on his hand and placed the case on the table with their freezing cups of tea.

“They have engravings on them.” Dean said, fiddling with the rings on his palm. “I had to make them special for us.”

“You’re so thoughtful…” Cas shook his head, smiling softly. “Thank you, my love.”

Dean smiled back at him and nodded towards the rings, indicating that Cas should take them.

“Yours has my name on it, and mine has yours.” Dean said quietly, wondering for the first time if that was too cheesy.

“Oh.” Castiel gasped once he read both engravings. He looked up and his eyes were teary again. “You’re incredible, Dean… they are perfect!”

Castiel leaned forward to peck Dean’s lips hard, and then he read the engravings once again to himself before giving Dean one of the rings.

“ _Olani Hoath Ol.”_ Castiel said the engraving on Dean’s ring, sliding the band on his right ring finger.

“ _I love you_.” Dean said the words in Castiel’s band and slid it on his finger.

They smiled at each other, staring into each other’s eyes.

“Would you believe me if I told you that our profound bond just got deeper?” Cas whispered, lifting his right hand, now bearing the ring, to touch Dean’s face.

Dean chuckled and nodded.

“You’re one of a kind, you know?” He said, leaning forward, touching his nose to Cas’ and feeling how cold both of them were. “I’m lucky that you fell on the roof of that barn.”

“I’m lucky to have rescued you from hell.” Cas answered.

They shared another deep kiss, and then shifted to cuddle side by side on the bench and watch the snow. Their ringed hands went to each other and their fingers played together, feeling the weight, consistency and shape of the new shiny object.

“Did Garth’s professional help had anything to do with your plan?” Cas asked after a few minutes, caressing Dean’s finger, feeling the ring and squeezing his hand.

“Oh, yeah.” Dean answered, remembering that he had a whole story. “Garth works with silver melting on a shop.”

“But isn’t Garth a werewolf? How can he work with silver for a living?” Castiel wondered.

“He said he chose that career to never forget how vulnerable he is, and to for once have power over what can kill him.” Dean shrugged.

“That’s very mature of him.” Cas added.

“Yeah.” Dean answered, nose against Cas’ cheek. “He melted it for me and took me to one of his friends to make the rings, and then Lou refined it and got them ready and pretty.”

Castiel chuckled.

“You’re a great planner.”

“Well that’s good ‘cause we’ve got a whole wedding thing to plan now.” Dean said and hugged Cas closer. “Guess where the silver came from?” He smirked against Cas’ skin.

Castiel leaned his head back so that Dean could see his frown. He thought for a few seconds and then his eyes widened.

“You didn’t.” He said in a whisper.

“I did.” Dean smiled.

“I knew there was a blade missing from the weapons when I cleaned the room.” Cas said, emoting again. “Oh, Dean… how will I ever make up for all this glorious thinking of yours? You made everything so perfect!”

“You can repay me later with some lame love making when we get in bed?” Dean proposed with a wiggle of eyebrows. “How does that sound?”

“That sounds like a great plan.” Cas said and leaned up to catch Dean’s lips.

For minutes, their connected lips was what brought heat to their bodies, and the wind carrying the snow towards them did not matter.

“Can we see you now?” Jack screamed from the laundry room.

“Fuck, Jack! Shut up!” Claire’s voice came after Jack’s.

Dean and Cas broke their kiss and laughed against each other’s lips, rearranging themselves to sit properly.

“Stop cursing, Claire.” Jack retorted. “I wanna know what happened!”

“You gotta stop being so curious.” Claire ignored him. “Also, secrets are meant to be kept.”

“Nah ah.” Jack continued. “My parents getting married is not a secret anymore and neither is the fact that you and Kaia keep hiding in your room to kiss… _everybody_ knows.”

“Oh my God, Jack, you asshole! I’m so gonna kick your ass right no…”

“Get out here both of you!” Dean yelled before it got out of hand.

Jack opened the door with a loud noise, running away from Claire and her angry expression.

“What the hell you guys?” Dean asked, leaning forward.

“No fighting like that, please.” Castiel added.

“I’m sorry.” Jack said, looking at Claire. “I’ll try to keep your secrets.”

“And everyone else’s, too.” Dean said pointedly and Jack nodded, looking down.

“Claire?” Castiel requested.

“Ugh, I’m not a baby to have to say shit like that.” Claire crossed her arms. “He was the screw up, not me.”

“Please?” Castiel lifted his eyebrows, locking eyes with her.

“Whatever…” Claire rolled her eyes. “Sorry.” She muttered.

“Thank you.” Jack said.

“Okay now that you love each other again...” Dean said and opened a smile, looking at Cas. “Yes. We are getting married.”

“Awesome.” Claire’s scowl became a smile.

“Yes!” Jack cheered. “I knew father would say yes! I told you, dad.”

They all laughed.

“I’m happy for you guys.” Claire nodded towards them, smiling.

Dean and Cas nodded at her, appreciating her feelings.

They showed off the rings and after a few minutes, they headed inside, feeling too cold to stand in the snow.

They locked up the house and prepared coffee. After a few cups to warm up, Jack and Claire got up and turned their backs to the TV.

“Listen, uh… Jack and I are gonna head out for the night.” Claire announced, Jack nodding by her side.

Dean and Cas frowned, standing up straight on the couch.

“What? Why?” Dean asked.

“We wanted to give you some space, you know… just-engaged space.” She shrugged suggestively with a grimace, and both Dean and Cas raised their eyebrows in understanding.

“She means time for grown up stuff.” Jack whispered. His hand on the side of his mouth. “Like kissing.”

Claire rolled her eyes audibly and sighed.

“Yeah, they got that, Jack.” She said and shoved him with her elbow. “Anyways I called Sam and asked if we could stay the night in his apartment so we’re heading off.”

Castiel looked at Dean and nodded, getting a nod in return.

“Okay.” Cas smiled. “But tomorrow we can all go out to celebrate, okay? Together.”

Claire and Jack nodded. They hugged Dean and then Cas, and took the bags they had previously packed towards the door.

“Oh…” Claire said, turning around. “I could use some cash… we’ll probably get hungry there.” She shrugged.

“Oh, of course.” Castiel nodded and quickly walked to the kitchen for his wallet. He took his credit card and handed it to her. “The password is Dean’s birthday, 0124.” He smiled shyly at her. “I trust you.” He added before letting go of the card.

Claire nodded seriously before smiling and waving at them.

“Night dads.” She said sarcastically.

“Good night, father.” Jack yelled from Claire’s car. “Good night, dad.”

“Night.” Dean waved them back.

“Be safe.” Castiel added.

They watched Claire take the car to the street and drive away, and then they closed the door and locked it.

“So…” Dean smirked, approaching Castiel and quickly pulling him by the waist.

“Hmm?” Castiel hummed, eyeing Dean from his eyes to his lips, back to his eyes.

“Just us, huh?” Dean continued, backing Castiel against the wall.

“Just us.” Castiel whispered and caught Dean’s lips on a wet slide, already giving in his tongue, pulling Dean closer.

It had been days since they had any sort of _action_ , and even then, it was in the shower so there was barely any time for touching and foreplay.

Dean’s hands closed around Cas’ thick thighs and he lifted Castiel up, still against the wall. Cas hummed again, a dragged sound from deep in his throat. He closed his legs around Dean and placed both arms around Dean’s neck, fingers sliding through his hair and exciting his nerves.

They broke the kiss to take a breath and as Dean held Castiel properly to walk them to the bedroom, he heard a pop when his back stretched.

“Shit.” He murmured against Cas’ chin and felt Cas chuckling. “Not gonna happen.”

Castiel wiggled out of Dean’s hold, still laughing.

“That’s okay, my old man… I still love you even though you can’t handle me.” He teased, caressing Dean’s face and watching the silver shining.

“I can handle you alright…” Dean answered, accepting Cas’ hand and following him to the bedroom. “My back can’t.”

They both laughed at that, and once the door was closed, Castiel walked Dean back until his knees hit the bed and he laid on it. Hovering over Dean’s body, Castiel stared at Dean’s eyes.

Dean’s hands went to Cas’ shoulders, and then to his neck and hair. Castiel leaned down to give attention to Dean’s jaw, soon trailing pecks towards his neck.

“I'm so proud of you for crumbling down your walls, Dean.” Cas said against Dean’s skin, kissing it repeatedly. “Thank you for doing this for yourself… and thank you for allowing me to be here for this beautiful development.”

“You helped me through it, babe.” Dean whispered, head slightly thrown back. “I wouldn’t be here without you. You mean _everything_ to me…” He said, and sighed in pleasure.

Cas leaned back, searching for Dean’s hand, then wrapping their fingers together and placing them against the pillow.

“Can’t wait to call you my husband.” Dean said, smirking.

“And I can’t wait to make justice to the term.” Answered Castiel, shifting closer for a deep kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is with my heart crying that I announce this is the end of the first part of Crumbling Walls...  
> This was a good, amazing journey, and I appreciate each and every one of the people that stopped to read my wishes for Dean and Cas.  
> Thank you <3
> 
> See you on the next parts!!!! *hopefully


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